Guatemalan Gorilla @3__Stacks
And they say Chi-City Joined January 2013-
Tweets2K
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Followers589
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Following771
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Likes4K
Guatemalan Gorilla retweeted
[My funeral] *AC/DC plays* *eagles fly above wearing denim* *girls in American flag bikinis shoot AK-47s in air* *priest has a mullet*
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Guatemalan Gorilla retweeted
If you're poor you capitalize Ramen.
Guatemalan Gorilla retweeted
I just ordered three tacos in the whitest accent ever and now I suddenly care about my 401K and have an urge to buy Kale.
Guatemalan Gorilla retweeted
Girl, you're as cute as yoda. -Failed pick up line # 10,642
Guatemalan Gorilla retweeted
Any chick who states "no dms" in her bio and then dms you "TY for the follow" obviously wants your nuts, bro.
Guatemalan Gorilla retweeted
People who limp when they walk. Who hurt you?
Guatemalan Gorilla retweeted
An investment banker buddy of mine is all like: M & A is heating up again bro! And Im here trying to decide which filter to use on my selfie
Guatemalan Gorilla retweeted
"How do you want your labia @RocketRankoon ?" "On point" Happy Birthday, you nasty sob!
Guatemalan Gorilla retweeted
*Skypes with @RocketRankoon cat's when he's not home* Happy, Birthday, Pasto,. I, hope, that, you; have" an, awesome: day!
Guatemalan Gorilla retweeted
Fun Prank: Tell someone it's your birthday and when they wish you a happy birthday, reply with "you make me sick". @RocketRankoon
Guatemalan Gorilla retweeted
Me: "How do you want your cake sliced?" @rocketrankoon: "Fancy Japanese chef style, throw it in the air if you have to." Happy Bday mucka!
Guatemalan Gorilla retweeted
[Challenged to duel] Opponent: *draws broadsword* Me: *pulls rainbow hanky from front pocket *pulls* *pulls* *pulls some more* *Draws spork*
Guatemalan Gorilla retweeted
Japanese Contestant: I'll take "R's" for $200 Alex: Those are "L's" Japanese Contestant: Well, they look like R's to me.
Guatemalan Gorilla retweeted
No vagina should resemble a sandwich.
Guatemalan Gorilla retweeted
[At Halloween party] Me: What are you all supposed to be? Women at the party: Various Stages of Undressed.
Guatemalan Gorilla retweeted
This ebola scare is getting out of hand I just threw ebola at someone who said good morning to me before I had my coffee
Guatemalan Gorilla retweeted
*constructs tweet* *presses tweet button* Tweet Button: Please do not do that.
Guatemalan Gorilla retweeted
Dear Black People, If you really want to upset white people, tell them 'The Wire' is a horrible show and completely fake.
Guatemalan Gorilla retweeted
*Opens fridge* Sarah McLachlan: For just 50 cents a day you can help him afford more than condiments Me: I'm fine. *makes mustard sandwich*
Guatemalan Gorilla retweeted
*attempts to wink forever* *gets charley horse*
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