Mickey Mt. Vernon @WhatevaConc
I ordered the code red on Private Santiago. 617 • https://t.co/fliByvGnha Joined October 2013-
Tweets43K
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Followers7K
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Following2K
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Likes92K
i wish other animals could smoke. smoking a cigarette with a raccoon or raven would fix me
i may not have been drafted
Oh my bad I thought EOD stood for End of Da-Month. Sending asap.
it’s so hard to bring up kate middleton to my non online friends cuz they will be like i’m sorry i just dgaf about the british royal family and im like I KNOOOOWW ME NEITHER LISTEN YOU FOOL!!
stop comparing food to crack. crack is like so much better.
Good morning. Stouffer’s Stove Top Stuffing never existed, have a great thanksgiving.
happy thanksgiving or as we call it in my family, a 6 hour long silent assessment of who needs an intervention
the training montage in Rocky IV except it's me getting ready to eat thanksgiving dinner
This year I stuffed little notes inside of the duck inside of the chicken inside of the turkey about your drinking. An intervenducken.
Hate going to gay Halloween parties, what do you mean you’re the telephone pole from Hereditary
Someone needs to put two McDonald’s hashbrowns in my enclosure
I hate it when genies exploit your poor choice of wording to fulfill your wish in a way you don't actually want, like dude, you know what I meant
Just saw a commercial for ‘bachelor in paradise’ and then went and took some big rips of natural gas off the stove.
Everyone is showing up red on Teams chat. Are they having another meeting to talk about how much they hate me?
You guys beat up on Catholicism, but any time you need an exorcism, there you are dialing up the rectory.
people in front of you in line love being like, “and what is a ‘bagel?’”
Is it weird that I like when the dentist smashes the lead apron on me like I'm a little panini?
omg thanks for ending the meeting 4 minutes early and "giving me some time back" -- now I can finally pursue my passions
Men be treating their bed sheets like a damn cast iron pan
Böb Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke
39K Followers 10K Following Chicago Member FDIC Views are my own because you're not brave enough I write this for fun https://t.co/heH4IlIEWZ I know who DB Cooper is.
Annie Hatfield @AnneHatfieldVO
48K Followers 6K Following Tall, pale, relentlessly cheerful. https://t.co/vhLLPJmuO2
Boyd's Backyard™ @TheBoydP
102K Followers 20K Following I’d rather be working on my yard. #envydastrength I retweet regular people. My tweets are here: https://t.co/zOIJ18SHBV
Stabbatha Christy @LoveNLunchmeat
61K Followers 4K Following murder and cake. https://t.co/O1Sm1XVNmo
Lady Lawya @Parkerlawyer
66K Followers 9K Following divorce lawyer | mom to a bazillion kids | https://t.co/0FDtG6xK4t | please send all dms to @funderlaw | https://t.co/t7dCbYmwgu
Grant Tanaka: Honky @GrantTanaka
37K Followers 5K Following Anatomically correct. For the most part.
FRO VO @fro_vo
42K Followers 1K Following 🦋 @frovo.bsky.social - - TOP TWEETS: https://t.co/NZPHrTUDjC -- Recent Tweets: https://t.co/4WK3dR41F1 -- STORE: https://t.co/YaxNssq5DC
Viktor Winetrout @Cpin42
26K Followers 651 Following Creator of @Sorrowscopes & @WeirdCelebTwets https://t.co/fJ5BJjLtIb
Benny 'Bluesky' Rolli.. @citizenkawala
21K Followers 8K Following Australian Jim Morrison | Real person | Dave's mate | 1053 https://t.co/PN73YRdrct
Tony P. @Tbone7219
43K Followers 19K Following
Todd 'Papi' Carlos @TheToddWilliams
26K Followers 782 Following Engineer I'm also on BlueSky. Same name.
C’est La Vie @Robert_Beau
57K Followers 50K Following Real Deal ~ Part Time Penis Model ~ Full Time Asshole
audrey farnsworth @audipenny
43K Followers 852 Following writer. @audipenny on IG / important newsletter @ https://t.co/bZaZufPQ3K / comics at @scaretownusa
Dan Regan @DanRegan_Comedy
25K Followers 7K Following Comedian//Comedy Writer Sometimes I write funny stuff so keep checking. https://t.co/QwGtdvzVph
The Evolving Arm @leftarmisme
37K Followers 9K Following So it goes. Tweets👉 https://t.co/CJQMENmWqd @LuvPugFDN 👉https://t.co/WvSLwFgf9x
Marcmywords @Marcmywords2
55K Followers 50K Following Tweeting Live From The Capital Of The Who Dat Nation. https://t.co/92vEozoAvo
Midge @mxmclain
35K Followers 2K Following Relentless architect of my own hell, curator of seasonal profanities, cultural symbol
Pru @prufrockluvsong
20K Followers 2K Following humorisht | situation misunderstander | word maker upper | bit prolonger
Gustave Eiffel mondor.. @MondoreMoussa
646 Followers 0 Following Gustave Mousa Manager principal publiques conseiller pédagogique économiques chef partie Géopolitique Républicaines de Rénovations laïque Des esprits LTD
HereWeGo!!!! @Scrappydoo79
686 Followers 1K Following Horror movie fan, Conservative, Trump supporter 🇺🇸
Dysfnctnl @DysfnctnlTrdr
48 Followers 149 Following
Pikolo @Pikologh
129 Followers 454 Following All is about dance (pls follow my TikTok page @1pikolo for more ) YouTube(LEGENDS DANCE CREW) IG: @Legendsdancecrew
sub_boy @subboylooking
416 Followers 2K Following
Yeboah Bright @Bright10Yeboah
1 Followers 120 Following
Dan @Dan208710
150 Followers 54 Following
Ghost Protocol @BasketdinoII
25 Followers 154 Following i invented the transition between topics and didn’t fall off a cliff
Desolate Son @feudalsunkings
1K Followers 1K Following Back on again after two years and a third deleted account. I clearly have a problem, but I can't quit the insanity.
adalyn @adalyn19344291
67 Followers 295 Following I have experience with intwitch overlays, banners, screens, mascot logos and more. Fans are here for graphic drawing.
David Baker @DavidBaker1959
675 Followers 5K Following Slightly manic 62 year old who reckons he’s got life in him yet. Seen a bit. Done a bit. But plenty more to see n do
@AlexNevilAgain @AlexNevilAgain
1K Followers 1K Following I am Elon Musk. You don’t need to parody me. I’m obviously perfectly capable of doing it myself.
Tyler @BalloonFlavour
13K Followers 6K Following
Rusty webb @rwpcwork
241 Followers 5K Following
🏹RowdyBug 🏹 @RowdyBugsGhost
3K Followers 823 Following *New account* Same mixed girl with mixed emotions. *Married* Kyle Schmitz is my husband 💜💍
i'm trying .xxxx.💖.. @taptap55523
1K Followers 4K Following just do one right thing. may talk about anxiety attacks alot. coffee. Books. candles. wax melts B.L.M...make music however you can.❤take your meds. 💊
natalayhehoo @highprobably1
38K Followers 3K Following This is not the profile you’re looking for. Gemini and Vol for life. Taken not stirred.
greg @gbmills
278 Followers 298 Following polymath, semi professional soccer player, professional wrestling booker, algs coach
bruh @bruh89316636
65 Followers 87 Following
PieGuy @ilovepie84
30K Followers 6K Following My wife works two jobs so that I can chase my dream of being in a boy band. https://t.co/JhWCxIXYbK
EL-TAWEL @ELTAWEL20
1 Followers 3K Following i am here to see freshly brewed content that cure my boredom.
Mihael Kelley @MuchaelKelley
101 Followers 101 Following
Mt. Vernon @MtVernon16
88 Followers 77 Following I'm just another brotherearthman...I aint special no more than anybody eles....elon musk sucks cocks in hell by the way.
Beth G @Carlinelunatic
80 Followers 303 Following prob in a car line somewhere with a poop urge headed my way
Coonass stuck in Ohio @SethFontenot16
320 Followers 2K Following Normal guy who works too much shoots guns collects knives drinks way too much cusses like a sailor
rhino212k @rhino212k1
758 Followers 5K Following Live till we die so make the best don't settle fuck the rest..wanna have fun and happy go fuck ya self
DrEw 😆🥃🥃❤�.. @drewsbar91
2K Followers 5K Following :) getting tacos 🌮 🌮😊 …❤️🐩 🐕 lover. 🌹🍓l love naps😁😁 “💩💩📺“💯💯#go bears!!
Customer Service @Custome04649074
12 Followers 40 Following
Emilia Plater @petiteverdot3
199 Followers 526 Following the littlest birds sing the prettiest songs. Official @clowndro1 fan account. https://t.co/V6AldSYAFn
Zig 2 @unjailedzig
989 Followers 2K Following if you're not following my original account just know I only keep this account around for emergencies when I've been so heavily shadow banned & silenced
Fuckaroo McGoo @Stapleface420
780 Followers 3K Following Seeking Universal Peace even without Coffee
neely @NEELY97888
562 Followers 4K Following
Bill Dawes @billdawes
14K Followers 1K Following 2023: #AlaskaDaily #CityonaHill #RookieFEDS #WeddingSeason #NCIS #MO #TheOtherTwo #BassReeves 📺 BJJ Black Belt 🥋 Princeton Cum Laude 📜 3x Broadway vet 🎭dad
mad mann @madmann34794841
127 Followers 3K Following not interested in bit.whatever /only fans / paying or any other bullshit I'm here to make friends anything else will be a block sick and tired of the dumb shit
Böb Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke
39K Followers 10K Following Chicago Member FDIC Views are my own because you're not brave enough I write this for fun https://t.co/heH4IlIEWZ I know who DB Cooper is.
Annie Hatfield @AnneHatfieldVO
48K Followers 6K Following Tall, pale, relentlessly cheerful. https://t.co/vhLLPJmuO2
Boyd's Backyard™ @TheBoydP
102K Followers 20K Following I’d rather be working on my yard. #envydastrength I retweet regular people. My tweets are here: https://t.co/zOIJ18SHBV
Stabbatha Christy @LoveNLunchmeat
61K Followers 4K Following murder and cake. https://t.co/O1Sm1XVNmo
Lady Lawya @Parkerlawyer
66K Followers 9K Following divorce lawyer | mom to a bazillion kids | https://t.co/0FDtG6xK4t | please send all dms to @funderlaw | https://t.co/t7dCbYmwgu
Grant Tanaka: Honky @GrantTanaka
37K Followers 5K Following Anatomically correct. For the most part.
FRO VO @fro_vo
42K Followers 1K Following 🦋 @frovo.bsky.social - - TOP TWEETS: https://t.co/NZPHrTUDjC -- Recent Tweets: https://t.co/4WK3dR41F1 -- STORE: https://t.co/YaxNssq5DC
Viktor Winetrout @Cpin42
26K Followers 651 Following Creator of @Sorrowscopes & @WeirdCelebTwets https://t.co/fJ5BJjLtIb
Benny 'Bluesky' Rolli.. @citizenkawala
21K Followers 8K Following Australian Jim Morrison | Real person | Dave's mate | 1053 https://t.co/PN73YRdrct
Tony P. @Tbone7219
43K Followers 19K Following
Todd 'Papi' Carlos @TheToddWilliams
26K Followers 782 Following Engineer I'm also on BlueSky. Same name.
C’est La Vie @Robert_Beau
57K Followers 50K Following Real Deal ~ Part Time Penis Model ~ Full Time Asshole
audrey farnsworth @audipenny
43K Followers 852 Following writer. @audipenny on IG / important newsletter @ https://t.co/bZaZufPQ3K / comics at @scaretownusa
Dan Regan @DanRegan_Comedy
25K Followers 7K Following Comedian//Comedy Writer Sometimes I write funny stuff so keep checking. https://t.co/QwGtdvzVph
The Evolving Arm @leftarmisme
37K Followers 9K Following So it goes. Tweets👉 https://t.co/CJQMENmWqd @LuvPugFDN 👉https://t.co/WvSLwFgf9x
Marcmywords @Marcmywords2
55K Followers 50K Following Tweeting Live From The Capital Of The Who Dat Nation. https://t.co/92vEozoAvo
Midge @mxmclain
35K Followers 2K Following Relentless architect of my own hell, curator of seasonal profanities, cultural symbol
Pru @prufrockluvsong
20K Followers 2K Following humorisht | situation misunderstander | word maker upper | bit prolonger
s.t.Å.c.o. | online @StacoS
25K Followers 51 Following Dad, Entrepreneur. My volunteers post 911 calls from Boston & nearby cities in realtime to keep you Safe. Tips at Cash App: $stacoteam Venmo: Stacos
Ghost Protocol @BasketdinoII
25 Followers 154 Following i invented the transition between topics and didn’t fall off a cliff
Desolate Son @feudalsunkings
1K Followers 1K Following Back on again after two years and a third deleted account. I clearly have a problem, but I can't quit the insanity.
@AlexNevilAgain @AlexNevilAgain
1K Followers 1K Following I am Elon Musk. You don’t need to parody me. I’m obviously perfectly capable of doing it myself.
Tyler @BalloonFlavour
13K Followers 6K Following
🏹RowdyBug 🏹 @RowdyBugsGhost
3K Followers 823 Following *New account* Same mixed girl with mixed emotions. *Married* Kyle Schmitz is my husband 💜💍
greg @gbmills
278 Followers 298 Following polymath, semi professional soccer player, professional wrestling booker, algs coach
PieGuy @ilovepie84
30K Followers 6K Following My wife works two jobs so that I can chase my dream of being in a boy band. https://t.co/JhWCxIXYbK
Customer Service @Custome04649074
12 Followers 40 Following
neely @NEELY97888
562 Followers 4K Following
❤️🔥PamsMyth.. @mrsauntiepam
4K Followers 2K Following The answer is granny panties and a tank top, stop asking. If you want to - find me at that blue place I guess, it's going to get quiet here ⬅️
Poor Rich @RichBeingRich
4K Followers 2K Following Gentleman Loser ^ Hockey Obsessed Sabres fan 🤘🏻😝🤘🏻 Crowd Faves: https://t.co/NDNyuRE8Tc
prtyguy @prtyguy
358 Followers 2K Following My alter ego wins every time. Living the “respectable” life, wanting to be anything but
Herschel Pennymacker @pennymacker
2K Followers 1K Following I know why the caged bird drinks. https://t.co/RxYsGZ8pAg
Dumb Beezie @dumbbeezie
44K Followers 23K Following This bio can't handle me I'm too many characters. Also fuck you
Tales of a Waffle Hou.. @AutisticDad23
6K Followers 7K Following My Nanna's Tupperware dishes are insured. https://t.co/vQlU6tmbqj
cute & confused @PamGiesbrecht
372 Followers 2K Following 🇨🇦 reader, quilter, boxing, lover of all things ridiculous, she/her
Big Pappadidas @steelhead54
107 Followers 527 Following Just an old Hippy Pothead who has been places and done stuff. Love Nature, Love each other. Love adidas. Fight the good fight.
Granite Man 🏴�.. @GraniteDhuine
18K Followers 5K Following The unacceptable face of Scottish Twitter. Whisky drinker, kilt wearer, sweary AF.
Stan Denshaw “parod.. @OptometristDan
15K Followers 4K Following (parody)Probably crushing beers. Not affiliated with Dan Crenshaw. Forklift certified.
Larry’s Twin 99 @LarrysTwin99
31K Followers 22K Following I am not leaving my wife. Unless something better comes along. Which I hope is tomorrow. Single dad. Former Student Government President at Faber College.
Daniel A. Hammer @ProfDAHammer
4K Followers 4K Following Ennis Professor of Bioengineering, U. Penn. Inaugural Director, Penn's Center for Precision Engineering for Health (CPE4H)
courtneybonneauimages @cbonneauimages
47K Followers 13K Following
Jeff Hibbard @jefficit
413 Followers 1K Following
Mr. Rune @runejessen
233 Followers 711 Following Dancing with turbines - I only tweet my own opinion.
Matty @bestestname
13K Followers 6K Following Twitter is easy. You just have to be funny all the time or no one will love you.
Alfie @AlfieCa57210325
3K Followers 4K Following My Home is @Downfrontartist 🎶 https://t.co/FLFqxY1dX2
dedbrain @mmmdonutss
3K Followers 3K Following
Special K @ServiceTech_
3K Followers 2K Following
Oolong Muskrat @vance_mike
3K Followers 5K Following I’m on the Zuck app as vance.mike. it’s been real.
Jakery never said @jakery
8K Followers 4K Following @jakerydont on TikTok, Twitch, and YouTube. Playing simulation games with far less fear than is appropriate.
I think this may be the year I admit I’m not even outdoorsy enough to enjoy drinking on patios
cop: what’s this? *holding up a small baggie* me: little sandwich. cop: *narrows eyes*what kind of little sandwich? me: *lowers head* little crack sandwich
nothing bad ever happens when I’m under my blankie. I am assured of this
they don’t make haters like this anymore, let’s bring it back
WHO THE FUCK LEFT THIS ON MY WINDSHIELD THOUGHT I GOT A TICKET
WHO THE FUCK LEFT THIS ON MY WINDSHIELD THOUGHT I GOT A TICKET
i wish other animals could smoke. smoking a cigarette with a raccoon or raven would fix me
I think this sniffer dog found the best product on the illegal market
A burning desire to fake my own death and start over as a mysterious but respected bartender in a coastal New England town
Besides your phone, wallet and keys, what do you carry with you everyday?
I want to make bath bombs that look like miniature toasters.
Two guys at work got in a fistfight so there's no way we're doing anything but talking about this for the rest of the day.
“Foghorn” is a beautiful name for a boy
is timothee chalemet allowed to be father i feel like he’s too little
When I’m waiting in line at the drive thru sometimes I pregame with a purse snack
Me: "I'd like to copy and paste from this pdf please" Adobe Acrobat: "no worries, I took the liberty of stacking each word on top of each other in a vertical column, adding mysterious symbols, and removing every instance of the letter 't'"
standing over the sink eating leftovers with my dad like we are two bears that just broke into someones home
Mine aren't takes. I'm generously sharing my thinking. They're gives.
Here are the top 5 times: 1. 7:32pm (indisputably the best time) 2. 2:44pm (has its critics but an all-round excellent time) 3. 9:51pm (not too early, not too late) 4. 3:07am (chances of being required to attend a meeting at 3:07am? Low) 5. 11:38am (the connoisseur's lunch time)
Ill have to check them out are they on Spotify or whatever
Thank you, Quentin Tarantino and the audience that has supported the film industry and my silly self! Big hugs, AuntiP
Smoking that shit that makes you think you're the walrus
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