ana @_notyourmom_
Artist. Promoter. Cannabis Farmer. Beekeeper. Butterfly Conservationist. Edmond, OK Joined December 2010-
Tweets35K
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Followers7K
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Following7K
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Likes40K
I tried to order a vegetarian burger and accidently called it a venereal burger, in case you were wondering what my embarrassment level is at today.
Here's a video of me not knowing wtf to do on tik tok. Points for attempts. Half a gold star!? #TikTok vm.tiktok.com/TTPd6SfHcW/
Oklahoma City Museum of Art's glass exhibit #TikTok vm.tiktok.com/TTPd6SeQqG/
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Toxic people calling you toxic because they can't manipulate you is the funniest shit ever.
I think maybe the pandemic boomer version of walking into a wild party you've been looking forward to and seeing your least favorite ex with the woman he left you for is being added to the local kinky Facebook group and seeing him with the woman he left you for.
Airports need to bring back smoking rooms, but for cannabis only. Why don't we have a cannabis air? I'm American. I demand my gratification. Someone get on it.
ana retweeted
Pinterest girls be like: I’m getting married in a barn but the barn is made of reclaimed barn wood from a different barn
ana retweeted
I need the moments where I feel loved more than I need the words.
Day 8 of the hot water pipe bust saga. Today, we have water again, but the pressure is so low I can't do dishes. I'm so glad I own my own house. This is exactly the dream I was hoping for. /s
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the dog is mad at me bc i wouldn’t let him eat sriracha off the ground and my feelings are hurt so no i don’t want children.
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Rise and shine sounds so exhausting.
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The wife: I'm running away Me: no you're not The wife: give me one good reason Me: you hate running
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The only time I faked my own death was back when Columbia House Record Club was closing in on me.
ana retweeted
Before I am cremated, my final wish is to be tightly wrapped in a large tortilla, covered with cheese and pushed lovingly into the great toasty beyond
Not to brag, but I'm the inspiration behind six employee policy manual revisions.
Böb Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke
39K Followers 10K Following Chicago Member FDIC Views are my own because you're not brave enough I write this for fun https://t.co/heH4IlIEWZ I know who DB Cooper is.
Boyd's Backyard™ @TheBoydP
102K Followers 20K Following I’d rather be working on my yard. #envydastrength I retweet regular people. My tweets are here: https://t.co/zOIJ18SHBV
Tony P. @Tbone7219
43K Followers 19K Following
Cat From Nowhere @kv8
17K Followers 10K Following omnipresent in absentia, perchance frittering my time away on twitter. ok fine, X. .•| sui juris |•.
sixfootcandy @sixfootcandy
50K Followers 7K Following Loves animals more than most people. https://t.co/bTlLzDrFl4
Lovely Potatoes @robin_991
21K Followers 8K Following As seen on KTLA. I ran the NY marathon. Drowning in bubbles. Napping on treadmills
Jack Boot @IamJackBoot
13K Followers 1K Following The New Yorker, Vanity Fair, The Atlantic, Harper's, Rolling Stone. I've read some of these magazines.
Chelle~ @BombChelleMama_
153K Followers 5K Following Little cheeseburger aficionado. Disclaimer: I am not responsible for how you interpret my tweets.
༻ 𝐂 𝐍𝐨 �.. @herprettybones
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Lazor @Lazor2828
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John Lyon @JohnLyonTweets
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Marcmywords @Marcmywords2
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Bob Golen @BobGolen
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Grant Tanaka: Honky @GrantTanaka
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Trey @treydayway
41K Followers 6K Following *Something profound* - @treydayway https://t.co/c64nfwFO1X
paused mortem 💀 @LeeCram
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Richard Harris @RichHarris2
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Tom Adams @TomAdam68936156
57 Followers 187 Following 40,000 civilizations in the Milky Way, 1500 are at about our level. 7 million worlds with life of some kind. Some are only good for growing marijuana 😎👋☮️💧💕
Simple @ray39sa
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Mark Meyer @cadiejer
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Tyler The Toy Geek @toygeeek
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Alohajose @Alohajose1
374 Followers 3K Following tall, bearded, handsome 24/7 horny&hard Just here for the naughty side of twitter Hmu on dm
SecretCouple47 @secretcouple47
5K Followers 5K Following Secret couple looking for fun with other couples, men or women.
Simon Bondy @John78338759
51 Followers 334 Following Well my name is simon am From The Gambia West Africa... Am here to make friendship to everyone.
NicholasG @Dad_At_Law
23K Followers 4K Following Father of girls, Husband of wife, Coach of kids. Protagonist for the People in court, yet to win an argument at home. *ᵗʷᵉᵉᵗˢ ᵃʳᵉ ⁿᵒᵗ ˡᵉᵍᵃˡ ᵒᵖⁱⁿⁱᵒⁿˢ*
NancyHayfield Birnes .. @NancyBirnes
6K Followers 6K Following Hello! 🍇 I have some elder berries to share. 🫐 https://t.co/NTG6ktBWXG https://t.co/LyujCQ7YVA https://t.co/owG7KpIxiM
ʍǟȶȶ ȶɦɛɛ cru.. @mattonaroof
4K Followers 3K Following Go away MAGAts, Qlings, BitCoiners. Under-the-influencer. A unique blend of herbs and spice girls. Taken aback. ♏️🤹♂️🪢
🇺🇸🤘😈ɢɨ�.. @80sjams
14K Followers 6K Following Sixty percent of the time…it works every time! #FTTB #autismawareness
Mama Needs A Coke @MamaNeedsACoke
4K Followers 2K Following At least three of my kids are funnier than me. https://t.co/TKorTRQdMa
Real Life Mommy @reallifemommy3
33K Followers 3K Following Twitter is cheaper than therapy. Tweets are mine 👀@huffpost @TODAY_Parents @buzzfeed @babycenter @chicagotribune @boredpanda @thepoke @thechive ...
Nate Limit Exceeded @.. @perlhack
22K Followers 6K Following @natesmith.jawns.club homeless pirate. sustainable, carbon-neutral tweets. butterfly whisperer. official soup taster. likes LEGOs BLM. He/Him.
Jennifer E. Hudgens @jenny_the_bored
246 Followers 981 Following MFA in poetry (not that it matters). LOVE horror. Dog mom. LGBTQIA. Neurodivergent. I write things.
Ebenezer K. Kwateng @EbenezerKKwate1
6 Followers 99 Following
korin riley @puppies00
489 Followers 1K Following I believe in equal rights. I'm against bullying, hate crimes, domestic violence and animal cruelty!!!
👁️👃👁️..... @11jnuaribertmu8
1 Followers 5K Following subhanallah cantiknya membuat sampai bingung & grogi... keajaiban pukul 1 pagi hingga pukul 6 pagi...keajaiban 6 pagi sampai 5 sore
Dan Garlock @garlock_dan
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Ralph sparklin @Ralphsparklin11
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Yma June @june_yma
579 Followers 5K Following
Böb Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke
39K Followers 10K Following Chicago Member FDIC Views are my own because you're not brave enough I write this for fun https://t.co/heH4IlIEWZ I know who DB Cooper is.
Boyd's Backyard™ @TheBoydP
102K Followers 20K Following I’d rather be working on my yard. #envydastrength I retweet regular people. My tweets are here: https://t.co/zOIJ18SHBV
Tony P. @Tbone7219
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Cat From Nowhere @kv8
17K Followers 10K Following omnipresent in absentia, perchance frittering my time away on twitter. ok fine, X. .•| sui juris |•.
The Evolving Arm @leftarmisme
37K Followers 9K Following So it goes. Tweets👉 https://t.co/CJQMENmWqd @LuvPugFDN 👉https://t.co/WvSLwFgf9x
sixfootcandy @sixfootcandy
50K Followers 7K Following Loves animals more than most people. https://t.co/bTlLzDrFl4
Lovely Potatoes @robin_991
21K Followers 8K Following As seen on KTLA. I ran the NY marathon. Drowning in bubbles. Napping on treadmills
Little Greenis @DurtMcHurtt
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Stabbatha Christy @LoveNLunchmeat
61K Followers 4K Following murder and cake. https://t.co/O1Sm1XVNmo
Jack Boot @IamJackBoot
13K Followers 1K Following The New Yorker, Vanity Fair, The Atlantic, Harper's, Rolling Stone. I've read some of these magazines.
Chelle~ @BombChelleMama_
153K Followers 5K Following Little cheeseburger aficionado. Disclaimer: I am not responsible for how you interpret my tweets.
Tracie Breaux @traciebreaux
31K Followers 4K Following Book writer. Dog petter. Mental Health/Child Abuse Awareness Advocate. https://t.co/r0jtKGqvbl
༻ 𝐂 𝐍𝐨 �.. @herprettybones
118K Followers 15K Following A little funny. A little feisty. Always chaos. Tall AF. #BillsMafia
Lazor @Lazor2828
22K Followers 12K Following Boil-the-Rabbit kind of crazy- South Florida/ pro-shopper. Trying to survive a body that wants me dead.
John Lyon @JohnLyonTweets
18K Followers 9K Following This mind intentionally left blank. https://t.co/n3wD8D0ICA
Marcmywords @Marcmywords2
55K Followers 50K Following Tweeting Live From The Capital Of The Who Dat Nation. https://t.co/92vEozoAvo
Bob Golen @BobGolen
33K Followers 23K Following Hey, give me a try. Mainly old jokes (spruced up a bit) and sentimental musings. Big believer in kindness. Leaning left, but not very woke (Boomer, ya know).
unusual_whales @unusual_whales
1.7M Followers 2K Following Stocks/Options/Crypto/Market News +Tools. Not advice 🐳 who changed 🏛️. Get $50-$5000 to trade: https://t.co/wGf2ZdlXpw Discord: https://t.co/0xJ9e0ZYYG More: https://t.co/nsxZlPV0pC
eLeni @eleniZarro
17K Followers 2K Following Be funny, be kind, but ffs stop saying literally. My best hits: https://t.co/aXLLBNuMx3 🐎 💜
Jane on a hill @janehilll
5K Followers 959 Following Curly haired perfectionist learning to let go. Actress without a stage. Always prepared for disappointment. she/her. Instagram: @jane_on_a_hill
Nate Limit Exceeded @.. @perlhack
22K Followers 6K Following @natesmith.jawns.club homeless pirate. sustainable, carbon-neutral tweets. butterfly whisperer. official soup taster. likes LEGOs BLM. He/Him.
Real Life Mommy @reallifemommy3
33K Followers 3K Following Twitter is cheaper than therapy. Tweets are mine 👀@huffpost @TODAY_Parents @buzzfeed @babycenter @chicagotribune @boredpanda @thepoke @thechive ...
🇺🇸🤘😈ɢɨ�.. @80sjams
14K Followers 6K Following Sixty percent of the time…it works every time! #FTTB #autismawareness
ADHDean @ADHDeanASL
23K Followers 5K Following BLACK LIVES MATTER. Husband, dad, friend. Ally. ASL Interpreter. Doofus. Midvale School for the Gifted alum. Mastodon: [email protected]
Mommeh Dearest @mommeh_dearest
9K Followers 1K Following There is no Mommy, only Zuul.✨Be excellent to each other✨Folllow me everywhere https://t.co/ItaeRTMeC2 Peep my tweets in the link below 👇🏻
CynicalTherapist @CynicalTherapi1
15K Followers 8K Following LMFT-LADAC Addictions Expert, Not your therapist, both traumatized and trauma informed. Sometimes a writer https://t.co/Y7o1NsmtJh Bad words ftw. 🏳️🌈
AparnaRC @Wordesse
3K Followers 1K Following Copywriting, coffee guzzling mom. Featured in @Huffpost, @Buzzfeed & @ThePoke. Tweets: https://t.co/QwSsMmIv1J
NancyHayfield Birnes .. @NancyBirnes
6K Followers 6K Following Hello! 🍇 I have some elder berries to share. 🫐 https://t.co/NTG6ktBWXG https://t.co/LyujCQ7YVA https://t.co/owG7KpIxiM
Mama Needs A Coke @MamaNeedsACoke
4K Followers 2K Following At least three of my kids are funnier than me. https://t.co/TKorTRQdMa
NicholasG @Dad_At_Law
23K Followers 4K Following Father of girls, Husband of wife, Coach of kids. Protagonist for the People in court, yet to win an argument at home. *ᵗʷᵉᵉᵗˢ ᵃʳᵉ ⁿᵒᵗ ˡᵉᵍᵃˡ ᵒᵖⁱⁿⁱᵒⁿˢ*
ʍǟȶȶ ȶɦɛɛ cru.. @mattonaroof
4K Followers 3K Following Go away MAGAts, Qlings, BitCoiners. Under-the-influencer. A unique blend of herbs and spice girls. Taken aback. ♏️🤹♂️🪢
Daddy McGirthington @SirBulgington
455 Followers 109 Following Ex-Dom, Ex-Bull. Musician, gamer nerd and coffee addict. Ex content creator but accepting tips ☝️
god of thunder @1stgodofthunder
693 Followers 535 Following
Pidge @Karousel__
127 Followers 189 Following Creative soul Love music love dogs with so big hearts. Ever notice Wylie E Coyote never falls off a cliff til he looks? Kinda like the ever singular election yr
Derek 🇺🇸🇺�.. @tiredoframen
442 Followers 727 Following Any way you want it, that’s the way you need it, any way you want it
adam@ @edgeof8
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Rodell Warner @rodellwarner
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SCHIZOPHYLA @schizophyla
2K Followers 936 Following the echoes of a man at the bottom of a drainpipe.
Lucy’s ATM @LucysATM
3K Followers 2K Following Lucy, coffee, wine, sushi, humor, dad jokes & the Avs. I’m just being a smart ass - lighten up! I love my cat - not sorry.
🎶 Romeo's Delight .. @bigracksonly
6K Followers 5K Following You don't have to believe everything I tweet 🙈💯 https://t.co/b29MCla515
.:RiotGrlErin:. @RiotGrlErin
55K Followers 3K Following • goth daria vibes • fear does not exist in this bio • muppet enthusiast • reba/dolly 2024 • subscribe •
Elon Musk @elonmusk
181.7M Followers 587 Following
A̸n̶d̶r̸e̶y̷a̵.. @AndreyasAsylum
11K Followers 8K Following I read books. Horror is my jam. Verified lesbian. I have a menagerie. Dead end Twitter account. Swipe left.
Not Hot. Not Bothered.. @hunbothered
42K Followers 758 Following
That Pesky Prostitüt.. @LittleMissAngr1
39K Followers 2K Following whore by trade, whore by nature. just a smart slut in a capitalist patriarchy. keeping playboys blessed. Black Lives Matter
That one chick from t.. @PrisonCookies
25K Followers 3K Following If you can't find a clit in my header you'll never find one in its natural habitat. Published Urban Dictionary Author.
Sweet Momissa @sweetmomissa
44K Followers 10K Following Like the song only saltier. Started as a blogger now I’m here.
Forward March @RunOldMan
35K Followers 16K Following Disabled Army Veteran, Bills Mafia, Mental Health Matters, Laughter is the best medicine 🇺🇸🇵🇷 Boricua https://t.co/LpPIFl6lcu…
Kansas Troubadour @DonkeyPunch145
2K Followers 4K Following No matter where you go, there you are. ΛΧΑ https://t.co/fysXIQHB7R
Mūstard @andreaholmdick
540 Followers 1K Following In the pines, in the pines where the sun don't ever shine.
Toxic people calling you toxic because they can't manipulate you is the funniest shit ever.
Anyone else not care what the Bible has to say about abortion?
Pinterest girls be like: I’m getting married in a barn but the barn is made of reclaimed barn wood from a different barn
I need the moments where I feel loved more than I need the words.
the dog is mad at me bc i wouldn’t let him eat sriracha off the ground and my feelings are hurt so no i don’t want children.
The wife: I'm running away Me: no you're not The wife: give me one good reason Me: you hate running
I was in a very different mood the last time I was in the car, based on the music volume.
The only time I faked my own death was back when Columbia House Record Club was closing in on me.
Before I am cremated, my final wish is to be tightly wrapped in a large tortilla, covered with cheese and pushed lovingly into the great toasty beyond
Not to brag, but I'm the inspiration behind six employee policy manual revisions.
@_notyourmom_ A happy yet belated birthday wish to you
Some of y'all get real mad when the funny hooker talks about racial injustice. This is me, I've been an activist my whole damn life. I'm just now using my platform here. Die mad about it, bitches.
Update: Cow does have bone cancer and a fractured leg. Currently reviewing options. Hard to watch a true working dog get sick. He has trained countless foster dogs passing through my home and is irreplaceable. Will keep you posted.
Hardly important compared to everything else going on in the world but I woke up 13 years clean today.
i always thought "ofc" meant "of fucking course" but apparently it just means "of course?" lame
[self-quarantine, day 7] This place is starting to look filthy. *dims lights* Much better.
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