Dick Blunderbuss @DickBlunderbuss
Giblet gravy Joined April 2022-
Tweets617
-
Followers167
-
Following430
-
Likes145
(building a straw man) oh this guy is gonna be such a fucking piece of shit
they say art is successful if it makes you feel something and buddy I’m feeling horny!!!
there should be a frozen food brand called pasta luego
bunch of pistachios - “sure hope nobody rips off all our fucking jaws today”
Me: come back to my place - I want to show you a book that’s very special to me Them: what is it? Murakami? Dickens? My bookshelf:
I’m here to say what everyone else lacks to the courage to say: the apex of millennial sexuality was when Kelly Clarkson scratched her cornea and had to wear an eyepatch for awhile
any good dating websites for broads who are into stolen valor ?
flabbergasted at the audacity of this micro aggression
(sautéing chicken and broccoli in light olive oil) hell yeah gonna be the healthiest munchies tonight
FAST FOOD INNOVATIONS McDonald’s: we serve 100% organic chicken on a brioche bun with a Burger King: L O O O O O N G S A A A N D W I C H
*drives past RED LOBSTER* ohhh I get it, because that’s where you eat LOBSTERS that are RED. ha ha! *drives past WHITE CASTLE* hey that’s where my friend died
(Trying to revive a guy) Paramedic: wait - I’ve got a pulse! Mother: oh thank god, really!? Paramedic: yes! And so do you! And so do all these living people! We all have pulses! Mother: … Paramedic: oh but not your son though
(Frank Sinatra voice) Law and Order Law and Order Go together like The orcs and Mordor
an easy way to tell if you’re a millennial is if you have an emotion - literally any emotion - about The Shins
“your wife is in labor ! We have to take her to the delivery room, Mr digiorno” “absolutely not”
My name is No One Ever I’m the one who said all those terrible things
I think my main problem is that my self-esteem is directly tied to how many PowerPoint decks I write in a given week
Paul F. Tompkins @PFTompkins
1.2M Followers 3K Following TV & standup & improv & podcasts, hardly any movies Instagram: https://t.co/OWAlzVWjle
House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis
5K Followers 865 Following Oh god, it's come to this. (also cogentanalysis in the other place)
kid gruesome @smeagolsfree
5K Followers 934 Following Rocks, caves, lakes, fens, bogs, dens and shades of death.
Nakita Wesler @NakiWesl
65 Followers 5K Following
lucy @lucy69860495859
899 Followers 6K Following
Alicia Jobe @AliciajobeFx
17 Followers 293 Following Gorgeous ✨life style speaks my greatness✨ First class Honors to my name. Disciplined✨ Entrepreneur, secured future & very Ambitious ✨life style, fashion.
Patricia @patricia_pike73
139 Followers 3K Following
Yaqeen Schoenegge @YSchoenegg29909
56 Followers 5K Following
Almeda Ludgood @AlmedaLudg76768
91 Followers 5K Following
Evelyn Graw @gr_evely
48 Followers 5K Following
Miriam Goins @goins_miri
94 Followers 5K Following
Chelsey Bogdon @BogdChel
71 Followers 5K Following
Lillie-mae Crother @CrotherMae75946
78 Followers 5K Following
Lord Jeebus @LordJeebus3
13 Followers 249 Following Embracing whatever comes my way... Non-academic Finance Bro at Princeton University with a lifelong thirst for knowledge
Celestina Nesseth @nesse_celestin
39 Followers 5K Following
Gail @amezquita_gail7
189 Followers 3K Following
Reva @hickman_reva15
130 Followers 3K Following
Sue @carltonsue63
131 Followers 3K Following
Isla-rose Schoberg @ISchoberg17663
16 Followers 3K Following
Misty Chase @ChaseMisty52490
93 Followers 3K Following
Darlene @tesch_darlene97
160 Followers 3K Following
gabe @TheGabeFS
145 Followers 374 Following
Jacqueline @Jacquel04721121
126 Followers 3K Following
charlize theron @CharlizeTh39401
70 Followers 198 Following I want to thank all our fans all around the world for their unconditional love and support. It really means a lot to me.🌹🌹
Robin @robin_mannings_
137 Followers 3K Following
Local Lampoons @dadakin
1K Followers 557 Following https://t.co/q4ORsaFiek blogcraster, podloaber, bulrtchoaster, bingfirnger, meemocker, mumblier
Júlia Oliveira @SheilaNels35821
358 Followers 4K Following
Santos Kerr @SantosKerr55800
98 Followers 3K Following
Roy @Roy_Matrix
296 Followers 2K Following
Doreen @doreen_watts93
161 Followers 3K Following
Eva @hardy_eva42
148 Followers 3K Following
GA Knight @Spankey602
128 Followers 933 Following
Williams Janet @Ja6567Williams
1 Followers 13 Following I need a good relationship ❤️ Between me and a serious man 😍
MB 🧛🏻♀️�.. @candiedcoffins
11 Followers 71 Following
Chillbo Hangins 🇵�.. @Five_Three
2K Followers 1K Following I love strong women, soft men, and the sound of the wind rushing through the pines. they/them. alt: @milehighandbi
Unlimited Crime Homey @tayloregibbons
777 Followers 4K Following this website is literally brand x that’s hilarious
master chief halo @BigBoiLaBerge
52 Followers 526 Following opinions expressed are not solely my own and express the views and opinions of someone else. former blue check
friggle @itsfriggle
576 Followers 616 Following water you like. https://t.co/8OxnXe2qVW on other site
sir genghis flan @MrDayquil
78 Followers 752 Following
Shizznat 🪬 @Shizznaty
378 Followers 4K Following I self-identify as a billionaire and suffer severe trauma every time I see a bank. Please help me become the person I've always been on the inside and donate 💲
ChenXia @ChenXia29617919
105 Followers 873 Following
Deb Surprenant @DebSurprenant
1 Followers 213 Following
Simon McGarr @Tupp_ed.. @Tupp_Ed
13K Followers 977 Following Solicitor https://t.co/mepbqBzZPK Director, Data Compliance Europe https://t.co/bZITxaUHci Newsletter https://t.co/IaWAdvExje
Mari Paquet @mari_paquet
46 Followers 1K Following
battabi @battabi
58 Followers 718 Following
thank you for this @dril
1.8M Followers 425 Following My posts help mentally ill peoples brains. I want to do good. I Want to bring value to this platform. That is my Quest. My Dream
Paul F. Tompkins @PFTompkins
1.2M Followers 3K Following TV & standup & improv & podcasts, hardly any movies Instagram: https://t.co/OWAlzVWjle
Borscht the T is sile.. @InternetHippo
343K Followers 276 Following
Brooks Otterlake @i_zzzzzz
80K Followers 927 Following Send me your address so I can visit you and explain my passions
Patrick Monahan @pattymo
150K Followers 1K Following cannot stress enough that I am not the Train guy | cohost, @whatatimepod | IG: pattymo | contact: pattymo at pattymo dot com
demi adejuyigbe @electrolemon
214K Followers 292 Following director and comedian and musician and writer (the good place, new warriors, late late show, amber ruffin show, strange planet, neon, + more)
rob delaney @robdelaney
1.5M Followers 2 Following You can get my new book, A Heart That Works, at the link below.
Josh Gondelman @joshgondelman
200K Followers 4K Following Year round iced coffee drinker. Stand-up special "People Pleaser" out now. Previously: Last Week Tonight, Mrs. Maisel, Head Writer/EP Desus & Mero.
House of 1000 Fionas @cogentanalysis
5K Followers 865 Following Oh god, it's come to this. (also cogentanalysis in the other place)
man it’s a hot zone.. @Mobute
78K Followers 1K Following Hallmark podcast. Past: Guardian, Rolling Stone, Gawker, editor at 50 States of Blue. Sometimes: NBC, Deadspin, Esquire, Vice. He/him. https://t.co/BsfimwZqer
maura quint @behindyourback
114K Followers 1K Following Elon Musk is a piss baby. Rarely checking this account. Follow me at mauraquint on bluesky, insta, tt, etc. Contact: quintmaura@ gmail
kid gruesome @smeagolsfree
5K Followers 934 Following Rocks, caves, lakes, fens, bogs, dens and shades of death.
Larian Studios @larianstudios
461K Followers 329 Following The independent studio behind award-winning RPGs in the Divinity universe. Baldur's Gate 3 is out now on PC, PS5 and Xbox Series X|S! BG 3 Rated M.
Local Lampoons @dadakin
1K Followers 557 Following https://t.co/q4ORsaFiek blogcraster, podloaber, bulrtchoaster, bingfirnger, meemocker, mumblier
Discontinued Foods! @Snack_Memories
50K Followers 3K Following Your home for all those culinary delights, anomalies, and misfires that live on only in our memories...
Actual Names @ActualNames1
88K Followers 3K Following Purveyor of the finest in luxury silly names from genealogical and other sources.
internet hall of fame @InternetH0F
2.8M Followers 842 Following alt @TPayst | credit is given when original source is known. if no credit is listed, OP can DM us with credit request.
DC Pierson @DCpierson
57K Followers 6K Following Wrote the novels THE BOY WHO COULDN'T SLEEP AND NEVER HAD TO and CRAP KINGDOM. Was in DERRICK. https://t.co/RSs3cRMrDr [email protected] he/him
૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ �.. @CBD42O
5K Followers 999 Following yoo chill im just a vessel ! didnt mean to flex on u bro Im just a vessel ,
DVS @DVSblast
19K Followers 852 Following Overthrow Entertainment. Rap guy extraordinaire. LISTEN TO DVTV https://t.co/g0YRdiITZv
derek guy @dieworkwear
847K Followers 963 Following Menswear writer. Editor at @putthison. Creator of @RLGoesHard. Bylines at The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Financial Times, Esquire, and Mr. Porter
Andy Kelly @ultrabrilliant
30K Followers 3K Following PR type shit @ Devolver Digital ⚡ Writer published in Vice, Edge, PC Gamer, The Guardian ⚡ Creator of @darkstockphotos @louistherouxbot ⚡ Glaswegian
Bweaking NuwuS @BBCBweaking
125K Followers 1 Following Haiiii! Unofficial bweaking news awewts fwom da BBC! :3
Dr. Shubhangi Karmaka.. @Repealist_
8K Followers 3K Following 26| Doc👩⚕️ @TheBJPsych KILR📚 @kingsinns DEI @NIHRMaudsleyBRC Trustee @Choice_Support | @TEDx @WIPLive @durifle | Creative, Writer | SoundCloud 'swipensnipe'
Eggscellent Former Gr.. @theRJHW
165 Followers 305 Following 🎧 nerd of all trades, bibliophile, Rusty/Clive/Gansett on @DrunjeonMaster stream I used to sell groceries.
Brandi Glanville @BrandiGlanville
808K Followers 2K Following Mother of two, TV Personality, 2x Bestselling Author & Podcast Host! Bookings:[email protected]
Rebecca Black @MsRebeccaBlack
1.1M Followers 3K Following LET HER BURN, THE DEBUT ALBUM, OUT NOW. booking: [email protected] press: [email protected]
i can be your long lo.. @PallaviGunalan
93K Followers 2K Following
Historic Vids @historyinmemes
5.2M Followers 209 Following Daily history lessons. Education through memes!
Paul Fairie @paulisci
81K Followers 3K Following Threads (Pre-order my new book, The Press Gallery!), politics, fun, Headline of the Year, Dr. Cronk, @DowntownCoreCA. Researcher, instructor, @UCalgary.
Endless Jeopardy @EndlessJeopardy
27K Followers 0 Following Procedurally generated clues every hour. Points awarded to best-liked responses made within 15 minutes. By @neilcic
David Hogg 🟧 @davidhogg111
1.2M Followers 3K Following President- Leaders We Deserve. A March For Our Lives founder and board member. Text JOIN to 954-954. [email protected]
caroline mccarthy �.. @caro
47K Followers 3K Following marketing VP | tech optimist ✌🏻 | Xoogler, TED Resident, @forbesunder30 | YIMBY, pro-nuclear, pro-resurrecting saber tooth cats 🐈⬛
Lily Sullivan @LilyYily
27K Followers 1K Following HR Ghost Margo "Spirited"/ "This Book Changed My Life" CBBWorld/“Going Deep" Stitcher / "I Think You Should Leave" Nachos Lady / KJ "The Righteous Gemstones"
Noah Garfinkel @NoahGarfinkel
47K Followers 1K Following Writer -- Single Parents, President Show, New Girl, Kroll Show, Workaholics. On Bluesky with the same handle.
Asher Perlman @asherperlman
28K Followers 2K Following Writer at The Late Show ⚔️ Cartoonist at The New Yorker ⚔️ Performer at wherever tickets are sold
Christine Nangle @nanglish
54K Followers 1K Following I have a dog who is my baby and I have a baby who is my child.
Bryan Donaldson @TheNardvark
44K Followers 789 Following I write penis jokes that a handsome man reads on tv
Dana Schwartz - on hi.. @DanaSchwartzzz
190K Followers 2K Following #1 NYT bestselling author of ANATOMY: A LOVE STORY and IMMORTALITY: A LOVE STORY. TV writer. Creator of @noblebloodtales.
Alexis Pereira @MrAlexisPereira
7K Followers 531 Following occasional troublemaker; writer on Disney’s Hamster & Gretel
Curtis Retherford @ActuallyCurtis
1K Followers 712 Following Twitter wanted to give me a blue check but I told them people already know that I'm actually Curtis (he/him)
Zach Cherry @zachcherrygmail
10K Followers 2K Following
Cullen Crawford @HelloCullen
45K Followers 2K Following husband to nine father to a beautiful Christian marine son to a wife father (all that matters) marine to a beautiful son comedy writer but TO WHAT END?!
Halle Kiefer @HalleKiefer
7K Followers 3K Following lesbo 🏳️🌈 @ruinedpodcast @crookedmedia Please god, if you haven't already, register to vote: https://t.co/A6A6CPgfRI
AVC @annevclark
17K Followers 3K Following @vulture writer/editor, union (@Newsguild) member, Queens resident, originated in Nebraska, educated in Texas, understandably furious. Black lives matter.
Daniel Kibblesmith @kibblesmith
98K Followers 6K Following Writer; Television, Comic Books, Book Books. Married to Jennifer Wright. Dad.
Jason Gore @mrjasongore
11K Followers 5K Following comedian. actor. writer. voiceover. 108.9 the hawk. a man on many podcasts.
Mike Scollins @mikescollins
34K Followers 1K Following From Marshfield MA. Writer for Late Night with Seth Meyers. Love horror movies. Usually have to pee. He/HimSo sick when you get the rocket launcher to beat this guy at the end
@heathercampbell Heather you’re the best and I love you very much and am so glad you have a great team and Mary taking care of you. Speedy recovery, thinking of you!! ❤️
@DickBlunderbuss @lanyardigan I would like to be able to fave this 10,000 times and retweet it 1,000 times.
This is some fuckin bullshit right here
Forgot to draw a line to the end of the amount section of the check and the payee wrote "and another million dollars as well" in the blank space. I'm ruined
my favorite therapy day is when u go in like "wow i had a v cool chill week" and u come out like cold and shivering on the floor like the hand of god pulled the caul from your face
Just a little timeline cleanse: #blackboyjoy at Disneyland. My son saw Captain America and was super excited. Captain America came down and found my son just to show him some love. It was such a dope gesture and meant the world to us. Representation matters 🖤💙
@dstuartwood @bigcatNRG I was literally trying not to cry lol. I think this is one of those things he will remember for a really long time 🥹
Vince McMahon reaction meme at this series of suggestions
Vernon Wells really goes the hell off face-wise. A virtuoso face performance
Nobody in any action movie is as fucked as the scrubs who try to go up against John Matrix. Absolute bozo antics
The opening of COMMANDO is so sick. Well COMMANDO is so sick in general but still. Great couple scenes, *then* the Army chopper shows up and John Matrix gets to work
At long last. “Don’t let the kick drum stub your big toe.” #DeLaSoul
FAVORITE HOBBY: Shoving Legos down the shower drain and clogging it up SECOND FAVORITE HOBBY: Rolling over for belly rubs
god I can’t wait to wear this to a party aka in my living room with nobody around
I’ve waited for this jacket to arrive for almost 6 months and it came today and it is much much better quality and material than I imagined. I am so happy
objectively why dick blunderbuss is one of my favourite twitters
to be good at Twitter you don’t have to try to be funny . you just gotta be a weird little guy
My latest pet theory is that a lot of millennials flee their hometowns the second they turn 18 and don't want to have kids (or stop after one) because so many of them had high-stress, overscheduled childhoods managed by helicopter parents who seemed miserable all the time
people ask me why I’m working so much and I have to say I have one goal: an Astro City in my house. when I achieve it, I will have nothing left to work for
Trends for United States
You might like
