Joseph Highsmith @HighsmithComedy
stand-up comic, reader of books, wanderer Atlanta Joined August 2009-
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Following168
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Joseph Highsmith retweeted
when I say "I've got that dog in me" this is what I mean
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Joseph Highsmith retweeted
On the left is the oldest statue ever discovered. Found in Germany and known as the Lion Man, it is more than 40,000 years old. On the right are two major films released in 2023. Here's why they have more in common than you might think...
@audge0 5 hour layover got me like
What if they made a vape with a kazoo
@waitressboner I mean, cigarettes are much cheaper down here..
Kinda sad stores don’t have the areas for coin operated fun anymore. Like when I was a kid I could ride a slow rocket ship, get a temporary tattoo, a rock hard gum ball, a Monster In My Pocket, AND a Homies figure all for like 3 bucks when we were leaving Kroger.
@heyitschili Send me the recipe! This looks amazing
Joseph Highsmith retweeted
Secret agent who is bad at lying
Joseph Highsmith retweeted
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Joseph Highsmith retweeted
Drunk coworker at your company holiday party
When I was a kid I’d see people ride their bikes with no hands and I thought they were SO COOL. Now that I’m 35 and see them do that I think they’re EVEN COOLER.
I’m trying to be as annoyingly charismatic and emotionally supportive through an apocalypse as I can be
Joseph Highsmith retweeted
If you truly believe life begins at conception, add nine months to your age and start celebrating your birthday on the date your parents fucked you into a zygote
@ShaunakIsCool I mean, he IS a cryptid so…
Joseph Highsmith retweeted
america has never once learned from a mistake. 250 years straight. impressive
@notangelllll I always said it became popular after “Game of Thrones”
@amore_orless This is SO GODDAMN CLEVER
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