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Tweets2K
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Followers370
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Following142
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Likes6K
If you don't need a mask because God will protect you then why the f*ck do you need a gun?
Find someone who looks at you the way @SteveKornacki looks at the "big board"
Quarantine Hack: Use old bandanas to make bandana bread!
My next quarantine goal is to get out of bed before that @jcrew email hits the inbox
Parenting during a quarantine is easy. It’s having the media second guess you every night before bedtime that's the hard part. #ParentalPostgame
🎶 BOO..... BOOHOFF.... BOOHOFF LAW
Imagine a cross between Lord of the Flies and Malcolm In the Middle...that's my childhood.
Me in 2002: Oh, come on -- I'm supposed to believe JAR JAR could sit in the Senate?!? Me in 2019: I would donate to Jar Jar if he ran against Jim Jordan.
TFW you're an extra but you're also EXTRA
If I were a teacher I’d tell my students that I invented individual handshakes for each of them BUT it would be the same handshake every time, I’d just make them line up in a different way, like around a corner, so they can’t see when I shake hands with the other kids
Back from hiatus and last night's lineup was absolutely stacked. Not to be missed: @catccohen just slaying the entire room.
Back from hiatus and last night's lineup was absolutely stacked. Not to be missed: @catccohen just slaying the entire room.
The least believable thing about #StrangerThings is how these "80s" kids speak to adults. Nope. Not the 80s I remember.
At least the book will have a spine.
Was a “tanker” all my Army career; commanded a Bradley during Desert Storm. What makes me smile and think of “freedom” on 4 July are kids with face paint, ice cream sundaes, flags on front porches, baseball & beer, fireworks and a never-ending belief in E Pluribus Unum.
Sal Gentile @salgentile
13K Followers 1K Following head writer/producer of A Closer Look at @latenightseth. other places to find me: https://t.co/ymx52glvgL, https://t.co/TnrmEqCfUc, https://t.co/UCeaChhKNp
chris/wally feresten @cuecardwally
3K Followers 1K Following Order a personalized cue card of your very own today!
Matt Goldich @MattGoldich
22K Followers 2K Following I write jokes for @latenightseth. Stand-up special NO QUESTIONS ASKED out now! https://t.co/ZzVOeIGJie
Late Night with Seth .. @LateNightSeth
470K Followers 2K Following Official Twitter handle for Late Night with @SethMeyers, weeknights at 12:35/11:35c on @NBC. Streaming on @Peacock now.
DaveHolmes.bsky.socia.. @DaveHolmes
85K Followers 4K Following Editor-at-Large, Esquire. Author, Party of One. Co-host, Homophilia. Host, Troubled Waters. WAITING FOR IMPACT available NOW!
Sleighmme @sleighmme75964
2 Followers 217 Following In this life, every journey is a scenery, and every thought can be calm.
Will Storey @wbstorey
726 Followers 964 Following trained re-enactor | slingin 'tent for @thisisinsider | formerly @VoxMediaInc, @OppositionShow, @LateNightSeth, @nytimes
فرزاد @FarzadKheiriasl
33 Followers 174 Following
Gintarė Karalytė @GintareKaralyte
330 Followers 269 Following When was the last time you did something for the first time? All views are my own . VP of Live Events @WebSummit
Andie W. @BluesandBulls
361 Followers 3K Following
Philip Rotter @rotterphilip1
0 Followers 3 Following
KCChief416 🇮🇪 �.. @seaned416
585 Followers 5K Following
NudgeSounds @NudgeSounds
365 Followers 4K Following Debut EP "Songs About Girls and Criminals EP" Available now: Spotify: https://t.co/vKOxa28QFg… Video: https://t.co/awFNRUNjO9
Imran @Imran79043006
74 Followers 1K Following I am a skilled social media manager. I can work on social media in a good way. I make different pages in a good way. I do things efficiently. We can increase t
Emily Zauzmer @EmilyZauzmer
2K Followers 4K Following Writers’ assistant at @JimmyKimmelLive // comedy in @Reductress @McSweeneys & more // past: writer at @GMA & @People // @Harvard 2018
Amal Chandra Kar @AmalChandraKar1
22 Followers 135 Following
Christina Johns @christinaeliz25
479 Followers 3K Following lovable obese weirdo. i do theatre and stuff. nyc. queer. neurodivergent. big fan of the oxford comma. i like to pretend i'm funny.
Luke Mazur @lumazur
1K Followers 3K Following i used to write for the @Awl but now i am a lawyer || mazur dot luke at gmail dot com
Young Stage Managers @youngstagemngrs
239 Followers 1K Following A group of stage managers venturing through school, internships, & entry-level work to pursue careers in stage management!
Linda wade @wade842
14 Followers 207 Following
Natalie Lodicobond @photolodico
219 Followers 789 Following Philosophical dorkitude. Photographer, writer, artist, unschooling mom, spoonie and pointer-outer of logical fallacies.
JulianneTurkL @JulianneMTurkel
295 Followers 1K Following I want my gravestone to read: She liked Hors d'oeuvres more than dinner.
Cody Reiss @cosyreiss
1K Followers 830 Following comedy boy and food dude w fked up sht on @comedycentral @thrillist @munchies — follow link below for latest video!
. @Mrs_BHG
87 Followers 498 Following
vic_zyskowski @VictoriaZysk
61 Followers 137 Following
Hannah Berner @beingbernz
74K Followers 507 Following pizza bagel / giggly squad / berner phone / tour dates ⬇️
Alexandra Bowman @scripta_bene
18K Followers 10K Following Writer, illustrator, political cartoonist, costume artist. Words: @PressClubDC, @DCTheaterArts, and more. @Georgetown BA ‘22, English MA ’23. Cats movie fan
Stage Manager @Rachel151617
61 Followers 423 Following At college studying Producing and Stage Management
samantha ivy @samanthaivyyyy
6K Followers 5K Following avid reader and writer and a mets fan 🩷 she/her 🎹 runs her own book club
Gretchen Gailey @GretchenGailey
916 Followers 802 Following Once a feisty red-headed reporter, former Capitol Hill Communications Director, now exploring the uncharted waters of the Cannabis Industry.
Seidman Says @aseidmanjourno
525 Followers 718 Following mktg content writer for @Hearst CT • correcting people’s grammar since 1995 • contact: [email protected]
Meredith @meredithlistens
496 Followers 609 Following Antenna up for new ideas, connecting the dots, celebrating and sharing the good stuff, always learning and listening
Karen Chee @karencheee
111K Followers 1K Following comedian & writer! @LateNightSeth @waitwait etc etc 👩🏻💻 she/hers
Yesica Jones @yesica_jones
3 Followers 48 Following No Mater How Much It Hurts Inside,You Have To Pick Yourself Up And Let It Go Because It’s Worthless To Hold On To Someone Who Has Already Let You Go.
David Kanuth @DavidKanuth
453 Followers 633 Following Advocate. Former Los Angeles Public Defender. Entrepreneur.
Emily Fleisig @Emily_Fleisig
57 Followers 5K Following
Jenny Hagel @jennyhagel
37K Followers 864 Following Writer, Late Night with Seth Meyers. EP/Head Writer, The Amber Ruffin Show. The corniest person you know.
Sal Gentile @salgentile
13K Followers 1K Following head writer/producer of A Closer Look at @latenightseth. other places to find me: https://t.co/ymx52glvgL, https://t.co/TnrmEqCfUc, https://t.co/UCeaChhKNp
amber ruffin @ambermruffin
242K Followers 1K Following Comedian, Writer, and Host of The #AmberRuffinShow on @Peacock!
chris/wally feresten @cuecardwally
3K Followers 1K Following Order a personalized cue card of your very own today!
Matt Goldich @MattGoldich
22K Followers 2K Following I write jokes for @latenightseth. Stand-up special NO QUESTIONS ASKED out now! https://t.co/ZzVOeIGJie
John Lutz @ShutupLutz
33K Followers 430 Following I played Lutz on @nbc30rock. I currently play Lutz in real life and pretend to be a writer on @LateNightSeth.
Late Night with Seth .. @LateNightSeth
470K Followers 2K Following Official Twitter handle for Late Night with @SethMeyers, weeknights at 12:35/11:35c on @NBC. Streaming on @Peacock now.
Sarah Lazarus @sarahclazarus
57K Followers 856 Following staff writer @crookedmedia (lovett or leave it, other stuff)
Sophia Benoit @1followernodad
122K Followers 1K Following book: WELL, THIS IS EXHAUSTING | sex columnist: @Bustle & @gqmagazine | newsletter: HERE'S THE THING | she/her
DaveHolmes.bsky.socia.. @DaveHolmes
85K Followers 4K Following Editor-at-Large, Esquire. Author, Party of One. Co-host, Homophilia. Host, Troubled Waters. WAITING FOR IMPACT available NOW!
United Airlines @united
1.2M Followers 39K Following This is the story of an airline, told 280 characters at a time.
samantha ivy @samanthaivyyyy
6K Followers 5K Following avid reader and writer and a mets fan 🩷 she/her 🎹 runs her own book club
MetsVetDog @MetsVetDog
8K Followers 50 Following The official @Mets and @AmazinMetsFdn Vet Dog from @AmericasVetDogs! #LGM
Baffling Pics @BafflingPics
3K Followers 40 Following Pics that will baffle your brain | DM us suggestions and we'll credit you in the post :)
Cat Elgarrista @cat_elg
15K Followers 235 Following i have many thoughts. would you like to hear them?
Bridey Lee Elliott @brideylee
16K Followers 3K Following
ellie schnitt! @holy_schnitt
556K Followers 593 Following (e)girl next door• https://t.co/jHrUCSZWSj• podcaster!! • she/her • IG: ellie_schnitt • business inquiries: @unitedtalent [email protected]
Carly J Garber @CarlyJGarber
2K Followers 864 Following According to my pediatrician, "a delightful 10-year-old who is moderately obese"
MetsLegends @Mets_Legends
2 Followers 0 Following Some of the Greatest players to Don the Blue and Orange!
Sarah @thetigersez
23K Followers 381 Following I will never have an Amazon Wishlist in my bio. Instagram: thetigersez Email: [email protected]
Sam Richardson @SamRichardson
76K Followers 1K Following The After Party, Werewolves Within, Detroiters, VEEP, Champaign ILL 🇬🇭
Mick Niepoth @mickniepoth
7K Followers 277 Following
Kevin Miller @millernyc
542 Followers 615 Following supervising producer at late night with seth meyers; formerly SNL
Fizaa Dosani @FizaaDosani
6K Followers 1K Following pronounced FIZZ-ahh DUH-sah-nee, CUH-mee-dee-un, ACK-tur, RY-tur
Jess Riepe @jessriepe42
350 Followers 473 Following Marlboro High School Basketball #42/// New Jersey Shoreshots 2021 #42// Holy Family WBB ‘25 💙🤍🐯
Randi Lawson @RandiLawson
24K Followers 566 Following My motto would be YOU CAN NEVER BE TOO TAN OR TOO THIN if it wasn't already YOU CAN NEVER WATCH TOO MUCH TV
Erica @eerrriiicaa
120K Followers 255 Following it’s ok, I’ve probably stalked you too cashapp: $eerrriiicaa Venmo: eerrriiicaa7
JulianneTurkL @JulianneMTurkel
295 Followers 1K Following I want my gravestone to read: She liked Hors d'oeuvres more than dinner.
Anna Fitzpatrick @bananafitz
27K Followers 3K Following i used to tweet jokes now i mostly tweet about parking lots | kids books at @fitzywrites
broti gupta @BrotiGupta
91K Followers 1K Following Simpsons writer Indian women’s humor twitter account https://t.co/5I6PCj7FlM
Brandy Jensen @BrandyLJensen
150K Followers 2K Following See that she chews her food well, and sets her foot down firmly on the ground when she walks, and you're all right.
ellory smith @ellorysmith
70K Followers 1K Following 3x Emmy nominated writer who is always looking for corporate work
Hanna Dickinson @hansdickie
51K Followers 918 Following Hilarious comedian with daddy issues seeking same.
Eva Victor @evavictor
306K Followers 2K Following
green man @real_green_man
22K Followers 1K Following a popular account on mets twitter (or whatever that site is called these days)
George Wallace @MrGeorgeWallace
865K Followers 4K Following The Official George Wallace Twitter. Trying to serve it up with hot sauce for you. God bless.
Jennifer Kline @jenniferkayline
594 Followers 463 Following Producer, Kids & Family at Wondery. Pittsburgh native & UCF alum.
Gretchen Gailey @GretchenGailey
916 Followers 802 Following Once a feisty red-headed reporter, former Capitol Hill Communications Director, now exploring the uncharted waters of the Cannabis Industry.
You: Kate Middleton is missing! Me: (skipping stones) Buddy, Kate Middleton never existed.
Did he pet a rabbit too hard?
Daniel Rodimer, a former Nevada Republican congressional candidate who was endorsed by Trump, is wanted for murder.
I understand dryer settings.
Men, what’s preventing you from dressing like this?
Big news for me and @ambermruffin's production company! Not sure how we tricked someone as cool as @McGriffJustin into working with us! deadline.com/2024/01/amber-…
I’m afraid that when I die, people will say “he mostly just sat around worrying that this would happen”.
Somehow he always settles on Chiefs uniform
Travis Kelce says he takes three hours to decide on his game day outfit trib.al/knUfVAx
I rly don't want this to sound in any way derogatory. But sat on a 4am coach😵💫& there's 3 guys around me talking so openly about their mental health&sharing all like natural alternatives to anti-depressants etc they buy and I just 😭YES. Please more this! It's SO important! ♥️
Reminder that the story about the guy whose dad was missing on the submarine but still went to Blink 182 is NOT old news and still hilarious!!!
Late Night Talk Shows Could Return As Soon As Early October, Post-WGA Strike variety.com/2023/tv/news/l…
@mikescollins @LateNightSeth See, that’s what tank top arms look like.
When you get a flat tire and find out you don’t have a full-size spare.
@AndyRichter We’re all concerned about your coconut addiction
Eric Adams to announce major success with new rat-drowning program.
Tuesday an hour long "Leave Him Alone"!
We’re back Monday! No guests for the first show, just an hour long CLOSER LOOK to catch up on, you know, everything?
Francisco Lindor... -Plays elite defense at SS -Hits for power from both sides -Never misses a game -Mentors and praises his teammates -Always holds himself accountable -Is an exemplary humanitarian off the field In short, he is everything you want in a franchise player.
I BOOKED MY 2ND TELE JOBBB😭😭😭 with an ABSOLUTE DREAM of a casting team and an ABSOLUTE DREAM of a writer/producer, no less 😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️ THANK YOU @Birdstontalent1 @seanboyleagent 🥹🥹🥹❤️❤️❤️
Another day of explaining to mom that New York is big and the footage she saw wasn’t shot on my street.
@salgentile We’ll raise the Rudy Eyes pic into the rafters.
wait I reread the new WGA deal and there was nothing at all about me receiving one little kiss every time I finish a scene?
@Steve_Bautista @AnthonyDiComo Same - if they were going to play they’d be working on the field instead of watching everyone talk
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