Captain Chaos @WAS3DFW

Nomad / Writer / Artist / Total Jackass USA Joined August 2016

Tweets

140
Followers

51
Following

55
Likes

4K

Captain Chaos @WAS3DFW

7 years ago

Help me travel to Finland to meet my girlfriend for the very first time: gofundme.com/myheartisinfin…

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Captain Chaos @WAS3DFW

7 years ago

I don’t ever want to be the last person to see someone alive.

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Captain Chaos @WAS3DFW

8 years ago

Ppppppppppppppppppppppp

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Captain Chaos @WAS3DFW

8 years ago

There's an ant in my keyboard, somewhere around the letter P.

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dire wolf @ADDiane

8 years ago

Moses was technically the first person to download files to his tablet from the cloud.

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m@thew @TweetPotato314

8 years ago

Jesus: *doing crossword* I’m stuck on 2 across.

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Böb Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke

8 years ago

Please I'm old enough to be your friends youngish, hip cool sexy very attractive father

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2 Cats on a Table @averagegrades

8 years ago

Every time my boyfriend says 'make me a sandwich', I put pillows on both sides of his head and say 'there, you're a pillow sandwich'. Then he beats me until I make him an actual sandwich.

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Benny 'Mostly Polish' Rollins @citizenkawala

8 years ago

This is just a friendly reminder that peanuts kill more people than marijuana.

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Uncle Duke @UncleDuke1969

8 years ago

Growing up, Sesame Street taught me the importance of education, empathy, and kindness. Bugs Bunny, on the other hand, taught me that revenge on my enemies should be quick, clever, and brutal.

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Captain Chaos @WAS3DFW

8 years ago

I live vicariously through your pain and suffering.

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ДρøℂДℓУρ✞îℂ ฬ๏๓คภ ⋆⭒˚.⋆ @W0nderW0manW0w

8 years ago

I live with people who speak incessantly for the sheer pleasure of hearing their own voices. This is my suicide note.

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Captain Chaos @WAS3DFW

8 years ago

Time doesn’t exist...clocks exist.

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jo @whatsJo

8 years ago

just rub some music on it.

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Kellalena @topaz_kell

8 years ago

Please rephrase your question in the form of shutting the fuck up.

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Owen Benjamin 🐻 @OwenBenjamin

8 years ago

If the govt cared about our lives they’d make McDonald’s check ID and run a body fat index background check.

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Captain Chaos @WAS3DFW

8 years ago

I truly miss the banter between @AnthonyCumiaxyz and Patrice O’Neal. I’ve been listening to those old Sirius XM O&A shows every day this year. The nostalgia is real!!