Joseph Harris @crazyjoeh
ÜT: 35.140551,-90.050312 Joined April 2009-
Tweets43
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Followers69
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Following133
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Likes188
Remember the old commerical where all the cowboys are sittin around the camp fire & one of 'em brings the "cheap" BBQ sauce? They all start off just messin with the guy and giving him a hard time but then they realize he got the sauce from New York City and they murder him.
"Mr. President, for this new Space Force will you be commissioning the building of several large robots and will these robots, when called upon, be able to combine into one larger robot?"
A restaurant named "In The Memetime" where all the staff members carry tablets and are only allowed to speak in meme.
Arnold Schwarzenegger, the former governor of California, is subtweeting President-elect Donald Trump. Explain that sentence to 1985.
I don't know what the best movie trilogy of all time is but the worst is Look Who's Talking, Look Who's Talking Too, Look Who's Talking Now.
Doc: Maybe you should take have a fist fight with a kangaroo off your bucket list. Me:But it's underlined. Doc: What differ..Me: UNDERLINED.
Shots on me today, but you 1st have to say, "The rhythm is going to get you.", in the most threatening way possible. Without laughing.
Whenever I start feeling cocky, I remind myself of how often I almost ate the poison packet found in beef jerky bags.
I have friends who love Jack Daniels so much that they get mad if I spell "jack and coke" in lower case in a text message.
I have a very vivid imagination. I got drunk once just by thinking about it.
"Long John Silver's is the Radio Shack of the fast food world."- Things you don't say in line at Long John Silver's.
I can now mark playing rock, paper, scissors with a homeless person off my bucket list. Never thought I'd EVER say that sentence.
Asking my brain, "Which movie is better? Heat or Departed?", is equivalent to pressing Ctrl, Alt, Delete on a computer.
I just watched the movie Pixel and I feel like I need to apologize to someone.
Fact: the giraffe has no natural enemies because whenever they start running all the other animals immediately double over with laughter.
If I ever get in trouble with the law I don't want a lawyer. I want the guys who pitched Weekend At Bernie's to a board of executives.
Just made a Nickelback Pandora station just so I could thumbs down every Nickelback song they play.
No worries.The dystopia's of Blade Runner & Running Man are just a few years away.Both more plausible than the Cubs winning the World Series
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