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Tweets35K
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Followers3K
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Following773
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Likes61K
While we’re on the “forgiving ourselves” train, I’m gonna go ahead and also forgive myself for being a fan of this fucking team
*Commercial about home foundations* Kate, “The Astros have foundation issues”
I see the Astros are trying to destroy all my brain progress and make me start expecting the worst, again. I’ve come so far. fix it, pls.
@DoomScroling Here’s a list of doctors that will do tubals. docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d…
Just rewatched ‘A Fistful of Dollars' (1964), a “spaghetti western” that helped revive the western genre and introduced millions to Clint Eastwood, Sergio Leone, and Ennio Morricone. Here are some interesting notes on ‘A Fistful of Dollars' (AFoD):
i just want the astros to play better baseball
Yankees fans are friends not food 😂 @CantH0ldMe_ @hileryyyy
I was complimented on my eyes and my singing voice (Hopelessly devoted to you- Olivia Newton John. i was scared. but i killed it) by strangers yesterday, so today you can’t tell me shit.
always a good time in my favorite city in Texas 😉 @midzee4 @eliseryann @Talismantradr @skatenutt @MaruchanWarrior @hileryyyy @StephBoudreaux1 @Chaotic_Crash @BasebAllTooWell @StadiumStephy @TEXANJASON
ThatAstrosGirl @ThatAstrosGirl
21K Followers 9K Following Cohost on JuiceBox Blondies! 🧃 Get the @psf_app to join us! #astros #mlb shoes always by @nardgotsole_htxThe Astros Locker @TheAstrosLocker
13K Followers 2K Following Astros Fan | Collector of Game Used memorabilia | Host of the Houston Fan CruiseCobosQue @CobosQue
11K Followers 1K Following 2012 Rusk St Tues-Sunday 11a-10 Not a bar. Not a restaurant. A vibe. http://www.coboshtx.Hayes Holly @HayesHolly2
14K Followers 581 Following Diabetes specialist, basketball coach, Astros baseballMVPnav🤘🏽 @PNav57
5K Followers 5K Following Paul/PNav | 7th Generation Texan | Trained SKYWARN weather spotter | #Relentless #Rockets #Aggies👍🏽 #WeAreTexans Gaming Profile: @btk_elnavAPOLLO MEDIA @ApolloHOU
43K Followers 442 Following Sports & Pop Culture | Blogs | Merch | Video | Podcasts | @ApolloNBA @ApolloTexans @1takepod @WatchWithApollo https://t.co/Wj9cHjQ3zwAri Tata🌙 (IT'S SH.. @Ariichiiyoko
12K Followers 2K Following What are you doing in my swamp? Sports. My cats. Taylor Swift. Horror. Taco Bell enthusiast. #LetsGoDodgers #Lakeshow #RamsHouse 8|24💜💛🇯🇵 14/30 ballparksS💫 @houstarr_sports
5K Followers 1K Following The greatest of luxuries is your secrets. IG: @houstarr_sports🏆🔥 ⚾️ SLEEP.. @astros_dude
7K Followers 2K Following Houston Sports | Please Do Not Follow Me | Engagement AccountHtown Wheelhouse™�.. @HtownWheelhouse
8K Followers 5K Following Father, Grandfather | CoHost of @lockedonAstros | @Stros411 | The Game Contributor @ESPN_SWLA I Co-Host Back to the Bullpen Podcast with Mike Stanton @B2Bullpententin quarantino @TentyQuarantino
3K Followers 5K Following Actually David | Not the sharpest basketball in the swimming pool | Ht: diet 6’ | Wt: dad bod Bat/Throw: L/L | Basically David Rose, but if he were straightgoth bobby hill 🏆�.. @Lissielys
7K Followers 2K Following alyssa. she/her. gaga. lana. astros: wicked witch of the AL west. drag enthusiast. human jukebox. #blm. 🇸🇮🏳️🌈𝕿𝖍𝖊 𝕾𝖍.. @_ShadowStro
3K Followers 3K Following Iron sharpens iron ✍ Astros Aggies Cowboys Rockets Canes *AA saved my life* Don't do Fentanyl 🧐Astros Teacher ⚾️.. @camibrown1984
7K Followers 1K Following Co-host of @juiceboxblondie on the @psf_app Come join us! @astros #relentlessTurtle 🏆🏆 @TickingTurtle
3K Followers 4K Following Easily Amused Astros fan-Former LEO/Investigations-Forensic Chemistry-Independent Party-No DM’s please mainly b/c I never check-🏳️🌈Misha @EtienneMisha
1K Followers 809 Following Strong women know their worth, true beauty comes from within, and hard work and determination are what truly make a person attractive. ❤️❤️Alivia Leib @AliviaLeib40306
87 Followers 5K FollowingEla Douma @DoumaEla40725
80 Followers 5K FollowingLillie-mae Greene @mae_greene79985
104 Followers 5K FollowingLonny Fredrickson �.. @FsLonny
291 Followers 2K Following Home engineer Over 11,500 built locally in cottonwood +A rated on the BBB OC platinum/GAF homeElite certifiedLeeanna Caudell @caude_leea
42 Followers 5K FollowingMelissa🌻 @bennmely
309 Followers 967 Following new twitter. same me; overworked but blessed. boy mama 💙 healthcare & fitness driven 💪 sports, #Astros especially. Texas born & bred. ❤️ to 🤣🤗🌟Maria Gauna @MariaGa56679879
49 Followers 5K FollowingCamryn Harper @Camryn79368168
185 Followers 2K FollowingMicah Burmside @mi_burmsi
92 Followers 5K FollowingLeroy Bronx Bomber @LeroyBomber
3K Followers 3K Following Yankee for life ! #RepBX #YankeesTwitter Love will conquer all . No DMsJoya Paulina @joya_pauli
26 Followers 5K FollowingAbby Rivenberg @RivenbAb
73 Followers 5K FollowingBreagh Province @BreaghProv58948
74 Followers 5K FollowingJeremy @JeremyDylan38
708 Followers 5K Following Live and die by the Mets ⚾️ and the Jets 🏈 Multiple time Fantasy Football champion 🍾 #LGMIvory Hamilton @IvoryHamilton81
419 Followers 7K FollowingSomething gotta chang.. @takme2yerleader
6 Followers 216 Following Praying to the ⚾️ gods to have mercy on us. #EarnHistory #NeverSettle #TakeItBack #ForTheH #LevelUp #Ready2Reign #RelentlessLainey Simkin @lain_simk
64 Followers 5K FollowingMarline Caponi @CaponiMarl299
80 Followers 5K FollowingCoby Johnson (Young M.. @CobyJohnso98978
3K Followers 7K Following God, Family, Caitlin Clark,Sports I love Lamar Jackson QB1 #RavensFlock🐦⬛ @indianafever @caitlinclark22👸 #RepBx @Lj_era8 @49ersSpace City Sports Fan.. @ThatAstrosKid42
322 Followers 981 Following Houston Astros/Texans fanatic | Weapon Enthusiast | Aviation Enthusiast | Law Enforcement Supporter | Animation Fanboy | 🇺🇸/🇵🇭/🇲🇽 | #RelentlessFatimah Bartholow @BartholFatim
71 Followers 5K FollowingJBizzle @JBizzle113
14 Followers 56 FollowingSelina Schlangen @SchlangenS92664
95 Followers 5K FollowingBrad @smobee4
92 Followers 53 FollowingGordo5903 @gordo5903
81 Followers 267 FollowingFern Lappi @FernLappi23420
73 Followers 5K FollowingTexasMike1776 @TexasMike1776
3K Followers 3K Following Pro 1A, 2A 🇺🇸Want to return to a world of common sense. 100 % Pure Blood. No DM’s please! I’m not going to subscribe to your OF. Astros, Texans, Rockets, UTDylan @_OutlawCountry
13K Followers 338 Following “It doesn’t hurt my feelings if you listen to shitty country music, that’s your fault” -Tyler ChildersRiver Paukstis @PaukstRiv
35 Followers 5K FollowingThe Marlboro Ma’am @OG_Rad_Hatter
1K Followers 576 Following Ululando y gritando. Retired hatter. San Martian. If I say something mean it’s not real. Thoughts and opinions are my own and prob’ly exaggerated.Bluewave J @CynthiaL1018341
965 Followers 2K Following SE Texas, happy, fighting for Texas, fairness, equality, women's healthcare rights. The ghost was cancelled. 🤐 NO CRYPTO. Go Astros! Wokester.Enya Trinidad @EnyaT78915
46 Followers 5K FollowingTravis Achesinski @travis_yankees
107 Followers 182 FollowingBrian Garcia @FlyN_Brian
193 Followers 311 Following Go Astros!!!!!!! Masters in Accounting and Physical Therapist AssistantRicky Vasquez @Ricky3468
36 Followers 1K FollowingEvie-rose Iller @EvieIller93526
88 Followers 5K FollowingKeavie Kepley @KeavieKepl
25 Followers 5K FollowingLaree Ridall @rida_lar
65 Followers 5K FollowingJulio Mendoza @mendozaj1974
693 Followers 3K Following Yankees and Bills Fan! #Yankees #BillsMafia @yellowstoneBrande Herrod @HerroBra
83 Followers 5K FollowingKaylene Witek @KaylenWit
38 Followers 5K Followingteachermom @teachermom83587
427 Followers 2K Following A mom of 4 littles and a 1st grade teacher, trying to balance it all with more fun and less stress.Mui Houskeeper @houskeepe_m
65 Followers 5K FollowingBack To The Bullpen @B2Bullpen
179 Followers 309 Following 3 Time World Series Champion Mike Stanton and Brett “Htown Wheelhouse” Chancey. @Ramshirts - Show Sponsor.ThatAstrosGirl @ThatAstrosGirl
21K Followers 9K Following Cohost on JuiceBox Blondies! 🧃 Get the @psf_app to join us! #astros #mlb shoes always by @nardgotsole_htxThe Astros Locker @TheAstrosLocker
13K Followers 2K Following Astros Fan | Collector of Game Used memorabilia | Host of the Houston Fan CruiseApollo Dez @ApolloDez1
16K Followers 660 Following Co-Founder of @ApolloHOU. Blogger. Podcaster. Disruptor.CobosQue @CobosQue
11K Followers 1K Following 2012 Rusk St Tues-Sunday 11a-10 Not a bar. Not a restaurant. A vibe. http://www.coboshtx.Hayes Holly @HayesHolly2
14K Followers 581 Following Diabetes specialist, basketball coach, Astros baseballMVPnav🤘🏽 @PNav57
5K Followers 5K Following Paul/PNav | 7th Generation Texan | Trained SKYWARN weather spotter | #Relentless #Rockets #Aggies👍🏽 #WeAreTexans Gaming Profile: @btk_elnavAPOLLO MEDIA @ApolloHOU
43K Followers 442 Following Sports & Pop Culture | Blogs | Merch | Video | Podcasts | @ApolloNBA @ApolloTexans @1takepod @WatchWithApollo https://t.co/Wj9cHjQ3zwAri Tata🌙 (IT'S SH.. @Ariichiiyoko
12K Followers 2K Following What are you doing in my swamp? Sports. My cats. Taylor Swift. Horror. Taco Bell enthusiast. #LetsGoDodgers #Lakeshow #RamsHouse 8|24💜💛🇯🇵 14/30 ballparksS💫 @houstarr_sports
5K Followers 1K Following The greatest of luxuries is your secrets. IG: @houstarr_sports🏆🔥 ⚾️ SLEEP.. @astros_dude
7K Followers 2K Following Houston Sports | Please Do Not Follow Me | Engagement AccountHtown Wheelhouse™�.. @HtownWheelhouse
8K Followers 5K Following Father, Grandfather | CoHost of @lockedonAstros | @Stros411 | The Game Contributor @ESPN_SWLA I Co-Host Back to the Bullpen Podcast with Mike Stanton @B2BullpenAstros Fans UK @AstrosFansUK
16K Followers 968 Following Supporting our Astros 24/7 & connecting Astros fans across the world! @MLBUKCommunity co-creator. Contributor to @ApolloHOU [email protected]Archbishop Deshaies @HouCounterplot
13K Followers 712 Following Recipient of the 2023 Orel Hershiser Lifetime Achievement Award for Online Sportsmanship. (Also, God gives His toughest battles to His strongest warriors.)tentin quarantino @TentyQuarantino
3K Followers 5K Following Actually David | Not the sharpest basketball in the swimming pool | Ht: diet 6’ | Wt: dad bod Bat/Throw: L/L | Basically David Rose, but if he were straightgoth bobby hill 🏆�.. @Lissielys
7K Followers 2K Following alyssa. she/her. gaga. lana. astros: wicked witch of the AL west. drag enthusiast. human jukebox. #blm. 🇸🇮🏳️🌈Blummer Bock @blummer27
75K Followers 853 Following 14 MLB veteran, World Series Champion, Astros color analyst. Beer connoisseur.Dr. Raven the Science.. @ravenscimaven
158K Followers 24 Following Raven Baxter, Ph.D. ✨ Molecular biologist, science educator. Director @TheScienceHaven. Views are my own. 1908. [email protected]Dylan @_OutlawCountry
13K Followers 338 Following “It doesn’t hurt my feelings if you listen to shitty country music, that’s your fault” -Tyler Childersskooks @skooks
16K Followers 4K Following Probably hungover (the update is it might be a brain cloud)Jacob Melton @JacobMelton25
1K Followers 197 Following Houston Astros Organization //Oregon State Baseball Alum #29Turner Porter @itsturnerporter
795 Followers 588 Following Country mind, rust belt heart • Pre-Save "Burnout", my new single available 4/30/2024 below • curator of “Country Folk Waves” playlist on SpotifyJulio Mendoza @mendozaj1974
693 Followers 3K Following Yankees and Bills Fan! #Yankees #BillsMafia @yellowstoneAstros Player Develop.. @AstrosPlayerDev
3K Followers 8 Following Official Player Development Account of the @Astrostexas tornado (schlos.. @ccherubrock
2K Followers 1K Following texas a&m ‘24 | i tweet about old country music and sports | acts 20:24 | top .01% turnpike listener | #GigEm #TexasHockey #StraightUpTX #DallasCowboysTexas Paul Schroder @Paultx890
145K Followers 2K Following Patriot. Democrat. Liberal. Political Commentator. Political Consultant.Van Plating @VanPlating
4K Followers 1K Following Orange Blossom Country Queen 🍊🎶🌸// artist// 🎻 player// 🎸 slingin’ instigator// producer🎧//ruckus raisin’ noisemaker// from the 🌞 state 🐊//DJ Rodeo Starr @dwightjokeam
5K Followers 394 Following garth brooks apologist 🌽 country & western DJ with a terrible sense of humor🤠 @dwightjokeam on Instagram 🌟@djrodeostarr on here 🪩New town every hour @TownsUsa
37K Followers 748 Following Randomly chosen town every hour. Photos from Google Places API and Wikimedia commons apiHOUcards @HoUcards
3K Followers 2K Following Houston area card seller, buyer and trader | Fair, honest and understanding | Let’s make a dealMelvin E. Edwards @edwards21228
7K Followers 3K Following Host of @PodcastRealLife and award-winning author of 2 books. 6th-generation Texan. Astros, Texans fan. Grandpa, dad of 4, stepdad of 2. Kim's husband.Amazing Maps @amazingmap
617K Followers 14K Following Amazing maps brought to your attention. Turn our tweet notifications ON to never miss a tweet! Business/Map IdeasCentral Oregon Daily .. @CODaily
5K Followers 305 Following Local news is always our top story. KOHD/ABC & KBNZ/CBS on-air across the High Desert. News tips: [email protected] ⬅️𝐃𝐄𝐕𝐎𝐍�.. @Devon_OnEarth
30K Followers 1K Following Themme Fatale. they/them. Host of @KillJamesBond / Streams at https://t.co/FOO0E7EBvi / Producer/Editor for @10kpostspod and @wtyppod.⬡ @TheOrangeHex
667 Followers 1K Following MM🕊️ | @HoustonDynamo STH & Bad Meme Curator | @Arsenal @USMNT EnjoyerMichael Andersen @andersem
6K Followers 1K Following Believer, skeptic, humanist, typist & dad. Trying to make places fairer as director of cities + towns for @Sightline. Views here: mine, all mine.BendYIMBY @BendYimby
500 Followers 310 Following Advocating for all types of housing in Bend, Oregon and beyondOsita Nwanevu @OsitaNwanevu
95K Followers 6K Following Contributing Editor | @newrepublic Columnist | @guardian Newsletter | https://t.co/yyoqTnyoMy Recent Work | https://t.co/vzkAQF0jWiBarrie Rumpf @bar_rump
76 Followers 5K FollowingCollin McHugh @Collin_McHugh
43K Followers 298 Following RHP for the @braves. average Wordle player. He/Him. podcast (@twelve6podcast) link below 👇🏼Gnome "doing their da.. @annethegnome
26K Followers 1K Following gay-dhd&d ⚔ they/she ⚔ TTRPG creator, writer, mycophile, rabble rouser https://t.co/a0x0nr9PyX🇵🇸 timothy 🍉.. @crulge
51K Followers 4K Following Go down any road far enough and you'll come to a slaughterhouse, but keep going and you'll reach the sea. healthcare newsletter: https://t.co/2DvHaC24rjVisit Bend Oregon @VisitBendOR
14K Followers 1K Following 📍 Here, amazement is something you fall into, and it’s waiting eagerly for anyone who’s willing to make the trip to seize it. #ThisIsBendأحمد عطا - Ahm.. @ahmedatta0
98K Followers 1K FollowingAdam Johnson @adamjohnsonCHI
159K Followers 2K Following co-host @citationspod, writer at https://t.co/pKhO6hyJ5Msoul khan @soulkhan
31K Followers 2K Following aging beautifully. bisexual lightning. antizionist jew. spotify: https://t.co/3nuNsFPsMM ytb: https://t.co/hzMcvJCVk6 ig: https://t.co/k2qME6jIPfvandoliers @vandoliers
11K Followers 850 Following Just a big dumb rock band from Texas. Vandoliers is for everyone. Forever. https://t.co/4IzcGS8CslDayna Steele @daynasteele
9K Followers 4K Following US Congress candidate TX36, world traveler, writer, actor, rock radio, Palm Springs rental proprietorBeth Huang 🌹 @bphuang12
8K Followers 4K Following Democracy @TidesCommunity. @DemSocialists & @seiu1021 member. Ex-gymnast, marathoner, #WIunion forever. All thoughts my own.Jonny Whitlam Berlin .. @WhitlamsBerlin
6K Followers 3K Following Berlin Tour Guide & history nerd. I make Berlin history videos. Book a tour & check out my blog for Berlin travel tips 👇The Marlboro Ma’am @OG_Rad_Hatter
1K Followers 576 Following Ululando y gritando. Retired hatter. San Martian. If I say something mean it’s not real. Thoughts and opinions are my own and prob’ly exaggerated.eBay jackets & hats @3five9
44K Followers 1K Following Shrimp Julep / Salad Bar Ham Cubes / not my store / ask if you need to askThe Simpsons @Simpsons_tweets
453K Followers 47 Following One of the most cromulent accounts about the Simpsons. Instagram - https://t.co/rykqVEIByxMilo Hamilton’s Mic.. @MicrophoneMilo
1K Followers 3K Following I support a professional baseball team.TrueAnon @TrueAnonPod
156K Followers 6 Following Uncovering the Ep-Files with @Liz_Franczak Brace Belden & @yungchomsky Number One Podcast in Heaven. https://t.co/fs72he4cmB ace/aroUlysses S. Cocksman @USCocksman
3K Followers 443 Following America, Longhorns, Astros, dumb pictures, bourbon. Used to do stupid posts on a smart blog.Will 🦥 Menaker @willmenaker
197K Followers 3K Following Love my beautiful boy Cody. Not on speaking terms with my twin daughters Jenna & Amantha. Co-host of @ChapoTrapHouse podcast.Big Rob @KRZ_GOAT_POLO
2K Followers 3K Following Battle Tested, Battle Born- All things for the 🤘🏼 . 2x WC Astros -2x Rockets-Texans-2x Dynamo-6x Blackhawks. Texas Ape. Be Someone- live your happiest life.Mikey Mike @heymiker
470 Followers 961 Following Austinite. Part-time psychic. Anti-Horse. Flat-Earther? I love Jesus, a full tank of gas, Conan, Martin Short, and the Astros.Ken Calvert @kencalvertshow
6K Followers 2K Following I was on Detroit radio for 45 Years. Detroit Pistons PA for 16 years during the Bad Boys eraIke franchise @IkeCuellar
1K Followers 1K Following Co-Host of @SittinSideways_ podcast. Die hard Rockets fan. 🚀🚀🤘🏽#Houstoneverything #Rockets #Clutchcity #Relentless #HtownmadeJames Roy @n1texansfan
4K Followers 1K Following Texans/Astros/Rockets/Dynamo. Host of The Bullpen. Occasional movie reviewer. Bobby Slowik’s Nephew.Montucky Cold Snacks @MTKYColdSnacks
4K Followers 797 Following Refreshing light beer for rippers, pony riders, gator wranglers, and badass do-gooders. 8% back to local causes. Must be 21+ to follow/view content.Garrett, The Car Guy... @houstonfan4life
2K Followers 4K Following Never underestimate the heart of a champion! -Rudy Tomjanovich #STMU #SportsFanatic #Texans #Rockets #Astros #LambdaChiAlpha #ToyotaAll I know is that when onshore winds are this strong in Houston, the outcome is sometimes not great in the Plains.
UPDATE (4/26): A new élite, $$$ moisturizer agreement has been reached. I am allowed 2x/pumps 4x/per week, for a total of 8 pumps per week. My wife is allowed 2x/pumps 7x/per week, for a total of 14 pumps a week. We now consider this matter behind us.
Today in 1983, @astros pitcher Nolan Ryan becomes baseball's strike-out leader with 3,509, a title he still holds.
There has been more nightmare fuel video from the Plains today than from anywhere in probably the last 3-5 years.
Ever wondered what it’s like being on a train when a tornado hits? Video belongs to Eric Carlisle Engineer and conductor are alright.
Geoff Blum: “It’s getting a little bit concerning.”
My Wife (@MrsAstrosCounty) Almost Left Me - And Still Might astroscounty.com/2024/04/my-wif…
Real men raid their wife’s medicine cabinet for the good stuff
Wife accused me of stealing her élite moisturizer because I’ve been looking “way too dewy.” And guess what? She’s right. Stuff is a game changer that they’ve been hiding from us, boys.
LMAO. i love when men do stuff like this ngl.
Wife accused me of stealing her élite moisturizer because I’ve been looking “way too dewy.” And guess what? She’s right. Stuff is a game changer that they’ve been hiding from us, boys.
Mandolin is the most underrated instrument. I will gladly die on this hill.
@bornferal have a friend who works in a vinyl plant and they were literally telling me about how much of a problem this is a couple months ago lmao
@hileryyyy @CopierCollin Well, that and the fact they backed Bob Dylan and that's what he called them.
@FlickNickem It’s like a revolving cast on your favorite show after most of the stars leave
It’s well documented that the Astros don’t start performing well until after my anniversary trip to Cancun, which happens in the coming week.
@VanPlating Groupo Frontera may be obvious as they’re huge right now but also they really do have some certified bangers
@hileryyyy It is not a joke lmao. Yes, please launder one pant por favor.