Antipessimistic Positivor @matt_burpee

International yo yo instructor, Hand model, New Hampshirite. Joined August 2016

Tweets

982
Followers

24
Following

344
Likes

27K

Antipessimistic Positivor @matt_burpee

4 years ago

Dear @joshzepps, I don’t know if you or @timminchin will ever see this but I just heard White Wine in the Sun for the first time on your podcast and it absolutely destroyed me. It’s one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever heard. Thank you Josh and infinite thanks to Tim.

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Patton Oswalt @pattonoswalt

5 years ago

When the polio vaccine dropped in 1955 people lined up to get it, & we were 2 years away from artificial satellites. Now in 2021 we carry external world-brains in our pockets & there’s robots on Mars and idiots think the COVID vaccine is full of wizard poison.

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George Wallace @MrGeorgeWallace

5 years ago

I'll bring voters all the damn water I want. I'm gonna have a cart out there like a motherfletchin' flight attendant. Mineral water. Spring water. Smart Water. Vitamin water. Holy water. Muddy Waters. All the waters! Jim Crow can kiss my black ass!

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Stephen King @StephenKing

5 years ago

Let me be clear: I have no problem with sane people owning guns. I have a big problem with crazy people buying and owning guns. I think we need better ways to tell the difference.

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Shakira @jodecicry

5 years ago

Every McDonald’s should have a flag they fly at half mast when the ice cream machine is broken

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Patton Oswalt @pattonoswalt

5 years ago

YOU VOTED AGAINST IT YOU LEERING FOSSIL

Senator Roger Wicker @SenatorWicker

5 years ago

YOU VOTED AGAINST IT YOU LEERING FOSSIL

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Stephen King @StephenKing

5 years ago

When Donald Trump gets a standing O at CPAC, remember they’re applauding a man who fomented a riot in the US Capital and who, thanks to stupidity, ineptitude, and callous disregard, killed hundreds of thousands of Americans. That is who they are applauding.

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Bradley Whitford @bradleywhitford

5 years ago

They have no policy solutions that don’t exacerbate racial/wealth inequities and accelerate the destruction of the planet. Without the unAmerican strategy of voter suppression, they wouldn’t exist. So right now, in the middle of the pandemic, they are mocking @JoeBiden’s dog.

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Mary L Trump @MaryLTrump

5 years ago

Watching this is traumatizing. How traumatizing it must have been--and still is--for those who were there. Imagine ignoring this evidence in order to protect the loser who incited these murderous thugs so you can hang on to your own corrupt power. #Convict

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The Lincoln Project @ProjectLincoln

5 years ago

Retweet if you think Ted Cruz should resign.

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Sen. Bernie Sanders @SenSanders

5 years ago

At a time of massive crises facing working families, my Republican colleagues have suddenly become very concerned about the deficit. That's funny. I didn't hear these concerns when they passed trillions in tax breaks for the rich & a blank check for endless wars. What hypocrisy!

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Jeff Tiedrich @itsJeffTiedrich

5 years ago

what kind of shithole political party falls all the fuck over itself in a mad dash to kiss the ass of the failed fascist who tried to get them all killed

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Jeff Tiedrich @itsJeffTiedrich

5 years ago

hey guys, the party of eleven stupid fucking Benghazi investigations says it's time to move on from prosecuting the Republican president who almost got them killed while trying to overthrow his own government, because there is no bottom to the GOP barrel