Beth Haydon @BethahaHaydon
a humorous person and cat enthusiast Baltimore, MD Joined June 2009-
Tweets57
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Followers169
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Following335
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Likes4K
William wakes up from his hair transplant with a full head of gorgeous chestnut. He asks "where's Kate?x" and the doctor shakes her head and says "who dya think gave u the hair yr majesty? Xx" Like if u cried. Also the doctor is a woman
Wow it's the best cat video I have ever seen
Wow it's the best cat video I have ever seen
just thought you might want to hear that actually none of these gotta go and you can eat any of them right now if you like
I’m myself I’m just apologetic about it
The best advice I can give you is the next time it’s your turn to tell the group a fun fact about yourself just yell PASS
So for the first time ever I have a fridge with a working ice maker in the door and sometimes it randomly shoots out a cube of ice just as a fun little surprise and honestly I never knew how exciting life could be
I would like to applaud humanity for figuring out all the different types of cheese and pretty much nothing else
He sends me memes like everyday, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious
Otters know what is up youtu.be/epUk3T2Kfno via @YouTube
It's kind of adorable when old men talk about all the cool things their iphones can do
I don't care if this is sexist, I need a man around to kill bugs for me
Flora 😳 @Flora__M4699
1 Followers 200 Following Irresistiblе nymрhоmaniac entiсed bу endlеss passion
Smeysees @smeysees78641
2 Followers 257 Following If you have sunshine in your heart, there must be poetry and distance
Stepping To All CHALL.. @MsMomoManko
4K Followers 1K Following Bria Beddoe. Comedian. Cutie. Always down to eat food. MsMomoManko on Onlyfans. Book me for shows! Hit my tip jar ig: BriaBeddoeComedy alt: @badmsmomomanko
jones falls expressba.. @rangerAM
345 Followers 1K Following nonprofit lawyer, beautiful jewess. ACAB & ALAB (the L is for landlords)
Amber Singletary @ambdotcom
853 Followers 472 Following Supreme funny bitch. Writer: A Black Lady Sketch Show (HBO) 📍NYC
Taylor Zaruba @TaylorZaruba
8 Followers 24 Following Stand up comic who’s just here to try and say funny things.
Trish Smart @TrishSmartass
1K Followers 294 Following Comic/Artist/Vagabond/funnest btch at the funeral
Anthony Davis @adcomedy28
877 Followers 1K Following 2019 San Diego Comedy festival winner, Fresh Faces Laugh Factory NBC's A New Leaf Debut Album Eat Around It with Uproar Records
BellyLaughsComedy @BellyComedy
45 Followers 76 Following Producer of Belly Laughs presents: Belly Laughs at Baba in Arlington, VA.
Bob. @ThunderGruntBob
1K Followers 5K Following PastaBoy. Awful T-Shirts. Decent Podcasts. Small Stupid Movies.
hedy @ifearlibrarians
861 Followers 1K Following girlbossologist, charlotte brontë stan, taurus, future DINK
Suman Babu @SumanBabu080537
5 Followers 100 Following Suman babu jai shri mahakal ki🙏🙏Gang name tiger to tiger king of mahakal Gang Suman babu tiger to tiger Gang S. R. P Gang king of S. R. P Gang Jai mahakal🙏
Socbloc @socbloc_en
11 Followers 54 Following
Mr. Steal Your Treats @yournatemate
1K Followers 967 Following 3 intellect, 4 psyche, 4 physique, 1 motorics
Al Shipley @alshipley
10K Followers 11K Following journalist, critic, drummer, producer, songwriter, teleprompter operator [email protected] https://t.co/S7d3RH6B9E
Deb S is on hiatus (a.. @AdmitMeChorus
809 Followers 956 Following Ever-curious. Often creating or thinking about creating—theatre, songs, writing. Fortunate in my friends. Obsessed with my dog. She/her.
Charity Sadé @BlckFemmesMattr
447 Followers 357 Following She/Her | Queer | Comedian | Writer | Teacher Breast Cancer Survivor/Advocate | Student of Abolition |
Querying a novel and .. @DawnGernhardt
1K Followers 4K Following #amquerying #writingcommunity. In Author, Random Sample, Pink Panther, Defenestration, Wry Times, Funny-ish, and The Haven.
Ryan Brookshire @correctbehavior
656 Followers 2K Following 🎸writer 🎹md 🎭improv 🤡comedy #GeorgiaTennessee. Derek Boulevard at WE Improv. Quiet Coyote at WGIS. @iMusicalWIT alum. he/him. BLM.
Alexis Paige @TheRealLizAanya
151 Followers 2K Following Former Educator. Current Legal Analyst/Researcher. Fan of Molecular Viscosity. Bimbo on the Loose. Bongos in the Rockies.
Loglizzy ☢︎︎ @__bouzin
488 Followers 778 Following
BaseGuffaw47 @AdrianRussell47
127 Followers 516 Following Comedian. Person. Black. Art. Soul. Buddha. He/Him. NC ⮕ DC
The American Spirit Y.. @the_shady_palm
43 Followers 692 Following On average, we live pretty well: worse than last year, but definitely better than next year.
Tom Myers | Now (Veri.. @Tom_Myers
10K Followers 895 Following Follow me on Mastodon (where I am verified) https://t.co/SjsTKSZ7HW | Booking/Press/Queries https://t.co/MQKJTmos97
Caitlin McDevitt @McDevittComedy
135 Followers 86 Following Kinda funny, very cheap. DM for bookings, babysitting or comedy
Lisan Wood @LisanWood
301 Followers 841 Following Official Twitter for Lisan Wood - Tragic - Boring - Sleep Enthusiast
populistlaugh @populistlaugh
1K Followers 3K Following Satire for the people. Daily headlines. Run by @aplaxcomedy. If you want to contribute, fill out the application below
alex @ALEXincaps
79 Followers 630 Following
listeningtohouse @AndyT187
938 Followers 3K Following
Eddie Munster @EddieMunster728
4 Followers 359 Following
Jim Rot Video @JimRotVideo
8K Followers 3K Following Just a chill guy who reviews movies and cartoons of all types on youtube. I also say stuff about stuff on Twitter https://t.co/sGxGeCO58w (he/him)
Lauren Weiss @laurensweiss
411 Followers 406 Following University of Chicago physics grad student, occasional stand up comedian she/her
Sophomore @jimmysolesky
1K Followers 219 Following producer, @lftspodcast co-host, your favorite rapper's favorite rapper.
charm city art spice .. @RahneAlexander
3K Followers 4K Following this website is embarassing find me on the other sites at @rahnealexander | web/bsky: https://t.co/zQP99hh484 | linktree: https://t.co/Ay5lmEvklb
Will Hacker @KimJongWillFF
559 Followers 1K Following PGH-VA-DC-SD 🌎 Scout Team MVP ______________🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆🏆
Jason Mimosas @TheBarronzoneee
127 Followers 372 Following Joe Barron Stand-up Comedian, Visual artist, cocktail bartender, psychonaut and Shitposter. 👽💀🇲🇽 Ig.@thebarronzone
Patrick Geary @patrickgeary_
79 Followers 748 Following
Sandy Bernstein @sandybcomedy
355 Followers 437 Following
Stepping To All CHALL.. @MsMomoManko
4K Followers 1K Following Bria Beddoe. Comedian. Cutie. Always down to eat food. MsMomoManko on Onlyfans. Book me for shows! Hit my tip jar ig: BriaBeddoeComedy alt: @badmsmomomanko
gianmarco @GianmarcoSoresi
64K Followers 7K Following “you miss 100% of the shots you take” -my high school basketball coach
jones falls expressba.. @rangerAM
345 Followers 1K Following nonprofit lawyer, beautiful jewess. ACAB & ALAB (the L is for landlords)
Amber Singletary @ambdotcom
853 Followers 472 Following Supreme funny bitch. Writer: A Black Lady Sketch Show (HBO) 📍NYC
Kemi Marie (they/them.. @kemimarie
379K Followers 123 Following i can’t be a singular expression of myself | 𓃵⋆｡°✩ omo oya
Why you should have a.. @ShouldHaveCat
3.9M Followers 258 Following The perfect account to show to your parents when you want a cat 😺❤
Trish Smart @TrishSmartass
1K Followers 294 Following Comic/Artist/Vagabond/funnest btch at the funeral
Scary Underwater @WaterlsScary
539K Followers 2 Following Less than 10% of the ocean has been explored.
Mr. Trash Wheel @MrTrashWheel
22K Followers 1K Following Official voice of the Water Wheel cleaning Baltimore's Inner Harbor. Likes tires but not broccoli. Part of @WaterfrontPB's Healthy Harbor Initiative.
Baltimore Beat @baltbeat
17K Followers 3K Following Baltimore Beat is a Black-led, Black-controlled nonprofit newspaper and online media outlet for all of Baltimore.
charm city art spice .. @RahneAlexander
3K Followers 4K Following this website is embarassing find me on the other sites at @rahnealexander | web/bsky: https://t.co/zQP99hh484 | linktree: https://t.co/Ay5lmEvklb
Cartoons Hate Her! @CartoonsHateHer
24K Followers 935 Following working on myself (figuring out all the ways I’m better than everyone who has wronged me.) she/her, follows/RTs =/= agreement. please publish my book.
Winston Hodges @winstonhcomedy
928 Followers 609 Following I don’t post here to to ig/tiktok @winstonhcomedy
Spice @Spicxer
2K Followers 5K Following Bawlmer. Nature lover. Observer. Opinioner. Ranter. Extremist. Rideshare driver. Divergent. It's not you, it's me. Partisanship is a disease. Go O's!!
ely kreimendahl @ElyKreimendahl
145K Followers 3K Following tv/film writer, comic, queer. host @podshamespiral, copy @iamthirtyaf & co-host @gayshamecomedy- next show 4/16 @unionhallny! mgmt: @zerogravitymgmt
Kyle Anderson @DangerAnderson
2K Followers 1K Following Emmy winning Writer. Comedian. Work featured in Entertainment Weekly and Rolling Stone. I also make YouTube documentaries.
who's afraid of littl.. @ItsClareyVR
551 Followers 697 Following All her fucking lives, flashed before her eyes 👩🏻🦯 she/her ✨
every lot baltimore @everylot_balt
2K Followers 54 Following every lot in Baltimore, Maryland. based on @fitnr , maintained by @qclstridium .
David Hogg 🟧 @davidhogg111
1.2M Followers 3K Following President- Leaders We Deserve. A March For Our Lives founder and board member. Text JOIN to 954-954. [email protected]
DC Justice Lab @DCJusticeLab
4K Followers 2K Following Developing smarter safety solutions that are evidence-driven, community-rooted, and racially just. ★ ★ ★ #SafeAndFreeDC #HandsOffDC
SNL Hosts Introducing.. @snlhostsintro
167K Followers 19 Following it's just snl hosts introducing the musical guest
Regional American Foo.. @RegionalUSFood
174K Followers 3 Following Shining a light on regional dishes from around the US since 2021 — featured in @Salon, @SFExaminer, @AtlasObscura, and more. Curated by @bromf3. Submit via DM
Jonathan Farach @JonathanFarock
148 Followers 263 Following standup sketch | writer/performer FARACH’S POWER HOUR VARIETY SHOW! Every 2nd Friday at The Clubhouse in East Hollywood.
Chris Alan (Sisyphus .. @ChrisAlanComedy
6K Followers 1K Following Stand-up comic, writer. Host of The Chris Alan Show available on all platforms. Sopranos superfan.
John Rogers @jonrog1
87K Followers 2K Following TV, comics and film writer. LEVERAGE, JACKIE CHAN ADVENTURES, BLUE BEETLE, MARRY ME, among others. Free newsletter at https://t.co/oLwsGxytrH
Science girl @gunsnrosesgirl3
2.2M Followers 6K Following science in context, art history and some puzzles to solve
Terrible Maps @TerribleMaps
1.8M Followers 1K Following The home of terrible maps with a pinch of humour [email protected]
No Context Chick Trac.. @No_Context_JTC
49K Followers 0 Following @splcenter lists Chick Publications as a hate group. Still, we hope you can laugh at the absurd. We pull from their tracts and color comics. See @JTC_Reactions
Jorts (and Jean) @JortsTheCat
221K Followers 2K Following Jorts the cat. Jean helps me. [email protected]
CALL TO ACTIVISM @CalltoActivism
1.1M Followers 2K Following Owned and operated by Attorney Joe Gallina. Newsletter: https://t.co/CalGHt2ALQ
Sylvia Plath's Food D.. @whatsylviaate
70K Followers 157 Following everything sylvia plath ate according to her journals, letters, poems, the bell jar & other texts / curated by @rebeccaebrill, illustrated by @lilygibbstaylor
Alex Hooper @HooperHairPuff
13K Followers 3K Following Comedian. Weirdo. Eccentric Socialite. America's Got Talent. Comedy Central. Ellen. Dirty Briefs Podcast.
nathan fielder @nathanfielder
548K Followers 238 Following
hedy @ifearlibrarians
861 Followers 1K Following girlbossologist, charlotte brontë stan, taurus, future DINK
Bodega Cats @Bodegacats_
1.1M Followers 9 Following
Simone Biles @Simone_Biles
1.7M Followers 321 Following Wife. Olympic Champion. IG & snapchat: simonebiles
Bailey Sarian @BaileySarian
436K Followers 247 Following • I do a thing called Murder Mystery & Makeup and Dark History over on YouTube •
70s Sci-Fi Art 🛸 @70sscifi
216K Followers 207 Following By @AdamRRowe. Check out my new art book WORLDS BEYOND TIME: 400+ illustrations, 100+ artists, lots of jokes and facts. https://t.co/KfekD0cbzf
cats with jobs 🛠 @CatWorkers
2.2M Followers 172 Following Good cats being workers • Unionized • Mascot @JobertTheCat • Takedown/credit/submissions: [email protected]
Weird Spotify Playlis.. @SpotifyWeird
578K Followers 258 Following weird playlists go to the subreddit to submit
There is no cat in th.. @Thereisnocat_
835K Followers 28 Following On hiatus (sort of). Unofficial reddit: https://t.co/riSEzRByhC
cats being weird litt.. @weirdlilguys
2.1M Followers 25 Following wlg fan club 🐈 dm for submissions + credit! • IG: @ catsbeingweirdlittleguys • partnerships: [email protected] • MERCH 👇👇
Scott Seiss @ScottSeiss
318K Followers 477 Following Comedian. Angry Retail Guy. Tom in Cocaine Bear. Reps: WME, Mainstay Entertainment. Tour Dates/Tickets/Merch 👇 NEW 2023 Dates AddedAnyone who tries to talk dirty to me I'm going to tell them about the two slit theory so that they can be as messed up as I am about reality
@AlsikkanTV @dennisbhooper the only person powerful enough to defeat Anton Chigurh
I think we can all agree this is one of the best performances of all time
he got made with all the leftover parts
"can you tidy up?" Yes, I can shove everything into my closet and forget about it for the next month. Easy peasy
There’s this girl on TikTok who has a series investigating boys’ rooms in NYC and it’s my new favorite thing in the world. Guaranteed some girl out there is losing her mind over this guy not texting her back
taylor swift's music mostly isn't my thing, but i really like a lot of the lyrics people have been sharing as proof that the songwriting on her new record is terrible lol
i will eventually accidentally castrate and cripple myself by getting into a car accident while my legs are fully crossed
i’ve been feeling off ever since they took cereal boxes off the golden ratio.
Ok I was going to do this but I look so much worse that it genuinely kind of freaked me out so here’s Marty then and now
April 2023 vs April 2024... I've had a harrowing year and I need a haircut rn
They should have killed him on every episode of Mad Men. No continuity, he just dies horrifically and is back at his desk in the next episode.
attention to all reply guys tier 3 and higher, we are no longer doing courtesy likes on replies that contain the same dumb joke everyone else is making. please pass the news to your subordinates
You took my sadness out of context at the tortured poets department
Oh well. Seattle PD just saved the taxpayers of Washington hundreds of thousands of dollars. Well done gents. Promotions for everyone involved. Dead pedophiles don’t reoffend.
Why do ppl get so pissed off when childfree ppl want spaces that remain childfree? The convo always turns to “you hate children”. There are spaces curated for families and children, which is great. So why can’t there also be spaces that are for adults only?
@historyinmemes The thing about bullies is, it is just a regular day for them, they will probably never remember what they did…but victims of bullies never forget. In fact, for some, it changes the trajectory of their lives.
@historyinmemes They asked this man about Michael B Jordan getting interviewed by the chick that called him corny in high school 💀
@PicturesFoIder Old people are so unbelievably disrespectful. They want young people to respect them, but they won't reciprocate it. That ain't how it works, even if you're elderly
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