Blayr 🌻 @BlayrAustin
‘Writer’ | Teacher @TheSecondCity | Not a serious person 🥸 | Distinguished Tweeter 🐦 | My classes: Writing Sadness Through Humor, Funny Essay ✏️ instagram.com/blayraustin/ Twitter Academy 🇨🇦🇺🇸 Joined April 2016-
Tweets24K
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Followers9K
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Following6K
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Likes66K
I no longer have the energy to write poorly performing tweets. But I'm a fighter.
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Blayr 🌻 retweeted
Personal news: I was just laid off. If you know of any opportunities that might apply (#journalism [print and broadcast], comms, #speechwriting, senior writer etc.) please reach out. Would love an RT if you can help spread the word. Many thanks🙏
My life keeps getting more exciting: I’m reading a list of the top 10 mattresses of all time.
My only source of writing validation is from tweets. No pressure.
I’m having a garage sale for my antique adverbs and adjectives. Inquire within.
I propose we pity like a tweet right now to boost morale.
ME: My summer diet is going really well. SUBTEXT: I will be ordering an extra- large deep dish pizza when the sun sets.
Blayr 🌻 retweeted
I was at a craft fair yesterday and I overheard a man say to his wife in a tone that conveyed no less than 6 emotions, Please no more potholders.
‘Write what you know.’ I have decided to write an essay about averaging 6 likes on Twitter.
Blayr 🌻 retweeted
Who is your favorite sociologist, living or dead?
Forget the Rorschach test, how long did it take you to watch Oppenheimer?
Please be patient — I’m very busy developing my humorous eclipse content.
This is the hardest decision I’ve ever had to make:
I’m working on not making jokes at inappropriate times. It’s not going well.
William Shakespeare has sold between 2-4 billion books. But I’ve written 24.1K tweets. Who is more prolific?
I’m committed to leaving Twitter by May 2029. Please respect the urgency.
Blayr 🌻 retweeted
Oops I did it again 🤭 #TotalSolarEclipse
Blayr 🌻 retweeted
Earlier this week, I said "maybe I will put my snowboots away." 😮💨
My tweets have not been edited or condensed for clarity.
sleepiest girl in the.. @v_dcknz
9K Followers 3K Following headlinezzzz @theonion @reductress • Hyperfocus: A Neurodivergent Comedy Show @caveatnyc next show May 12 😇
limp brittzkit @Brittymigs
19K Followers 2K Following she/her. just a little snail girl trying to get by. @meatcats @reductress @cracked mgmt: [email protected]
Jennie Egerdie @hijennieblair
4K Followers 2K Following 🇨🇦 Author OH BOTHER + Frog and Toad Are Doing Their Best (@vulture Best of 2021) | Words @newyorkerhumor @mcsweeneys | Rep @LauraMazer | she/they
Audrey Burges @Audrey_Burges
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Kristen Mulrooney @missmulrooney
14K Followers 2K Following Editor @The_Belladonnas. Writing in The New Yorker, McSweeneys, Gilmore Girls: The Official Cookbook kristenmmm on Insta
Abby Barr @1AbbyRoad
7K Followers 7K Following social: @switchedonpop @plex @theankler prev: social for 🦚, @20korg. comedy writing @funnyordie++, other writing @shoptoday++, Obie, memestress
Miriam Jayaratna @Jayaratnahhh
1K Followers 456 Following clinical psychologist 👂🏻 and writer 😩 | words in @newyorker @mcsweeneys @Reductress @bostonglobe @the_rumpus @realpunknews @identitytheory et al.
Arielle Dundas @ArielleDundas
14K Followers 4K Following My niche is that I’m funny and I have interesting opinions. She/her. Stardew valley streamer. ADHD. typos are part of my brand.
Georgia Shenk @GeorgiaShenk
17K Followers 2K Following Writer + Antisocialite ✿ @reductress ✿ @TheSecondCity trained ✿ say [email protected]
chase @_chase_____
12K Followers 1K Following girl writer | associate editor @reductress | writing in @newyorkerhumor @mcsweeneys | https://t.co/ywCjXok4HX | she/her
meg✨✨ @mjhorgss
2K Followers 976 Following copywriter, humor writer, crier | words in @reductress @realpunknews @realoverheardla
Iris✨ @Jest_Iris
18K Followers 2K Following out of pocket bc my pants don't have any NYC Comedian Writer Gamer Jewish af IG: jest.iris | words in @Reductress & @HardDriveMag featured in @adweek
Julie Vick @vickjulie
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Hannah Grieco @writesloud
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Zola Ray @zolamray
1K Followers 3K Following Features Contributor @TheOnion. Contributor @Reductress. Words @Betches_Sup @LittleOldLady__ @FlexxMag. Formerly @waitwait’s Everyone & Their Mom. she/her
Pastrami Mommy @Ewelannawhite
4K Followers 4K Following a half-sour pickle | *ctor, vo artist and comedy writer | contributor @realpunknews @harddrivemag @bwaybeatnews
lana schwartz @_lanabelle
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Lillian Stone @originalspinstr
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294 Followers 297 Following Dad of Daughters, PhD, MFA, American Short Fiction/Ecomasculinities. English Instructor: Great Neck North High. Author: Open My Eyes (Running Wild Press).
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Shahid Chaudri @sachaudri1957
251 Followers 407 Following I am 66, from Nairobi, Kenya. Living in uk since 1971. I write short stories and poetry. Retired after working 48 years of my precious life. Separated in 2007.
Elon musk @Elonmusk888967
472 Followers 4K Following Elon musk 🌏🚀CEO,and Chief Designer of Space CEO of Tesla and Twitter Founder of The Boring Company
Tim Allen @212adventures
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Funny Snarky Humor @FUNNYsnarkyJOKE
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blupenny (Wendy) 🎠.. @blupenny123
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Jason @Jase_on_here
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byzulcch6w6w7f7 @5vr3m34s85
0 Followers 116 Following 現在、アルバイトの募集をしています。一日の勤務時間は制限ありません。日給6,000円～30,000円！給与は日払いです。 副業の相談は、LINEに追加:【https://t.co/PSKIor17S0】
Matt Oates @MattOatesWrites
259 Followers 3K Following Voted “most likely to move to DC, tire of practicing law, and start writing in his 30s” by his grade school class.
Book Vibe 📖 @book_vibe
4K Followers 5K Following At Book Vibe, 📚 our mission is simple yet powerful - to make book discovery a seamless, delightful experience. ✨ #BookVibe #Bookstagram #BookReview
Tanya Cliff @TanyaCliff1
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Tattletale Times @TattletaleTimes
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Scott James Kyle @ScottJKyle1
594K Followers 108K Following Outlander, Trust Me 2, Kajaki, The Angels Share, Trainspotting 2 (Stage), Singin I’m No a Billy He’s A Tim (The Stage Best Actor Winner) https://t.co/0Q5OkVzHB6
Lu.26 @ramoslou62668
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Summit County Librari.. @SummitLibraries
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sleepiest girl in the.. @v_dcknz
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limp brittzkit @Brittymigs
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Jennie Egerdie @hijennieblair
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Audrey Burges @Audrey_Burges
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Kristen Mulrooney @missmulrooney
14K Followers 2K Following Editor @The_Belladonnas. Writing in The New Yorker, McSweeneys, Gilmore Girls: The Official Cookbook kristenmmm on Insta
Abby Barr @1AbbyRoad
7K Followers 7K Following social: @switchedonpop @plex @theankler prev: social for 🦚, @20korg. comedy writing @funnyordie++, other writing @shoptoday++, Obie, memestress
Miriam Jayaratna @Jayaratnahhh
1K Followers 456 Following clinical psychologist 👂🏻 and writer 😩 | words in @newyorker @mcsweeneys @Reductress @bostonglobe @the_rumpus @realpunknews @identitytheory et al.
Arielle Dundas @ArielleDundas
14K Followers 4K Following My niche is that I’m funny and I have interesting opinions. She/her. Stardew valley streamer. ADHD. typos are part of my brand.
Georgia Shenk @GeorgiaShenk
17K Followers 2K Following Writer + Antisocialite ✿ @reductress ✿ @TheSecondCity trained ✿ say [email protected]
chase @_chase_____
12K Followers 1K Following girl writer | associate editor @reductress | writing in @newyorkerhumor @mcsweeneys | https://t.co/ywCjXok4HX | she/her
meg✨✨ @mjhorgss
2K Followers 976 Following copywriter, humor writer, crier | words in @reductress @realpunknews @realoverheardla
Iris✨ @Jest_Iris
18K Followers 2K Following out of pocket bc my pants don't have any NYC Comedian Writer Gamer Jewish af IG: jest.iris | words in @Reductress & @HardDriveMag featured in @adweek
Julie Vick @vickjulie
12K Followers 7K Following Writer: @newyorkerhumor @mcsweeneys Book: BABIES DON'T MAKE SMALL TALK (SO WHY SHOULD I?) Now more frequently on Substack and Instagram rep: @agentsaba
Hannah Grieco @writesloud
25K Followers 7K Following writer, editor, prof. non-zionist Jew. your twitter mom. i love you, okay? 🌈 she/her
Zola Ray @zolamray
1K Followers 3K Following Features Contributor @TheOnion. Contributor @Reductress. Words @Betches_Sup @LittleOldLady__ @FlexxMag. Formerly @waitwait’s Everyone & Their Mom. she/her
Pastrami Mommy @Ewelannawhite
4K Followers 4K Following a half-sour pickle | *ctor, vo artist and comedy writer | contributor @realpunknews @harddrivemag @bwaybeatnews
lana schwartz @_lanabelle
7K Followers 2K Following writer bitch/freelancer/@newyorker, @theonion, @realpunknews + more/the book BUILD YOUR OWN ROMANTIC COMEDY/i think that my horse is regular sized (she/her)
Lillian Stone @originalspinstr
8K Followers 4K Following culture writer // author: EVERYBODY’S FAVORITE, out now from @deystreet 💋 @wgaeast shrew 👊
T.E. Hahn @TEHahnFiction
294 Followers 297 Following Dad of Daughters, PhD, MFA, American Short Fiction/Ecomasculinities. English Instructor: Great Neck North High. Author: Open My Eyes (Running Wild Press).
Paul Gladwin @PaulGladwin5
477 Followers 2K Following Was a Shakespearean actor. played Loby in the National's The Visit. Partially blind and deaf. Currently editing my first novel, a middle grade fantasy
Melodie Ramone @Melodie_Ramone
82K Followers 35K Following Author. Mom to autonomous wild things. Cystic Fibrosis Advocate. Certified Kitchen Witch. A Goddess with a Godzilla twist. I am my mother's savage daughter.
James L H Bartlett @jameslhbartlett
77K Followers 23K Following I enjoy business, innovation, life-long learning & to #ChangeTheWorld to help others. Entrepreneur, interim CxO, investor, adventurer, thinker & do-er. NO DMs!
Tim Allen @212adventures
9K Followers 3K Following Dad, Anthropologist, Explorer. CEO https://t.co/qALfAtx2QI, Formerly Head of Vimeo, https://t.co/Z3zujkv6ti, and a few more. (Suffering) Sooners fan.
Funny Snarky Humor @FUNNYsnarkyJOKE
9K Followers 2K Following I like 2 make light of things 2 brighten up a dark world. #funny #humor #satire #snarky #memes #humour #hilarious
blupenny (Wendy) 🎠.. @blupenny123
293 Followers 362 Following Daydreamer. Semi-retired. My own advocate. #RedSox fan. Artist in another life... perhaps we knew each other? #Art, #Photos, #Film, #TV, #Birds, #VoteBlue
Jason @Jase_on_here
1K Followers 2K Following “Don't let your luggage define your travels, each life unravels differently.” - Shane Koyczan
Tanya Cliff @TanyaCliff1
9K Followers 8K Following Storyteller • Dreamer • Survivor • Human ~ 🎓BBA - Marketing Research @UWMadison 🎓MFA - Creative Writing @EmersonCollege
Hunter Greer @meisterslinger
98 Followers 422 Following Senior Fellow, New Error Satire Tank; Juvenal delinquent who avoids altarcations; developer of a hedge fund for the poor. My standup is off-demand publishing.
Scott James Kyle @ScottJKyle1
594K Followers 108K Following Outlander, Trust Me 2, Kajaki, The Angels Share, Trainspotting 2 (Stage), Singin I’m No a Billy He’s A Tim (The Stage Best Actor Winner) https://t.co/0Q5OkVzHB6
H.Robert Barland @hrobertbarland
3K Followers 3K Following Educator, historical re-enactor, martial artist, carbon-based lifeform and speculative fiction author. Now revising.
Amelia BADDIElia 💅 @lizkhawiesta_
763 Followers 683 Following That’s showbiz baby✨ Words for @reductress, @humordarling, @FuncDeadZine 💀
Summit County Librari.. @SummitLibraries
7K Followers 8K Following April Goal 7,400ish out of 7,500. 100ish to go!
Mini T @MiniT46
10K Followers 4K Following Looking through a lens. Here for hashtag fun and complimentary likes and retweets. Proud to be a small part of @FrikkinMisfits2
Molly Wadzeck Kraus @MWadzeckKraus
2K Followers 2K Following writing: memoir, culture, repro rights, parenting, mental health. part-time poet. I do not have an inside voice. always running late bc I stopped to pet a dog.
Andy Ottaway (blue ch.. @Andy35o
4K Followers 2K Following Raptors Watcher. Birder. Gardener. BlackHawks. Quoter of the Office/Simpsons. W I F E I N B I O #WeTheNorth🇨🇦
Jarrid Cantway @JarridCantway
24K Followers 23K Following 𝘍𝘢𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘤 𝕎𝕣𝕚𝕥𝕖𝕣 of SFF. World building artist. Action scene aficionado. Slush reader for DreamForge Magazine. U.S. Navy Veteran ⚓
James Klein @JamzKlein
386 Followers 456 Following My dog thinks I'm cool. Humor in @McSweeneys, @SlackjawHumor, @PointsInCase, @GreenPastSat, and others.
Belinda Carter @Belincarter
29 Followers 100 Following Goal Getter||Stylist||Fashionista||Unisex|| lover of cats. Co-founder at Flex Suits. https://t.co/jDzoU2PUYE
Jeff Gabbard @jgabbard42
201 Followers 516 Following
François Bereaud @FBereaud
2K Followers 2K Following Husband. Dad. Math Prof. Mentor. Editor @press_roi. Words @thetwinbill @ReckonReview Chapbook! @thealienbuddha San Diego Stories out 2024! @CowboyJamboree
K.S. Dyal @KSDyal
589 Followers 886 Following Novella IT FELT LIKE EVERYTHING out now from @AdHocFiction. Stories in/coming from Colorado Review, Carve Magazine, BOOTH, HAD, CutBank, and elsewhere.
Megy Karydes @megy
7K Followers 7K Following Writer+comms strategist, author of 50 Ways to More Calm, Less Stress (pub date: Dec 2023: https://t.co/gcdumQyknc) #ASJA (she/her)
Michael McKerley @michaelmpm
126 Followers 317 Following Husband, Father, Attorney, Defender of the Constitution🥋
Mary Ann Schaub @Schaub_MaryAnn
349 Followers 3K Following 🎭 NE Local SAG-AFTRA actor 🎬 writer 🖊️ bisexual ☀️ mom ❤️
Pamela Kaval - Author.. @KavalAuthorActs
76K Followers 65K Following Actor; Filmmaker; Screenwriter; Children's Book Author; Ex Sustainability & Environmental Researcher; Ex Park Ranger; Fostering dogs 🇳🇿
Doug DeRabbie @derabbie
38K Followers 41K Following Government and Stakeholder Relations @ACECOntario. Reading 📚 Music 🎶 #LeafsForever #NYGiants Coffee ☕️ and Superman.
Amanda Spell is editi.. @StonesofMoss
522 Followers 3K Following Lover of writing, nature, and stories | Married to my keyboard| Barrel-rider | she/her | Graduate Biology Student | Birder | https://t.co/li7pqlEUfQ
Matthew Jobe @mdjobe72
8K Followers 8K Following author, pharmacist, football coach, father of 3, devoted husband, Badger, love to cook and watch movie’s
King is revising 💙 @king_reinhardt
19K Followers 16K Following Author. She/They. 34. Nonbinary biromantic ace. Poly. Spoken for. #ActuallyAutistic. #AmWriting 80s nostalgia and ocean fantasy. 🌊🐳
Carly Landry @carlylandry
2K Followers 2K Following Narrator & Audiobook Producer • Voiceover • Artist • Creator • Motivator • Lover of Books, Writing and Art
Lamont Wilkins @WHProse
3K Followers 3K Following 🗣Spoken Word Poet & 🎬| 📺 @owntv Ready To Love DC | 📺 @willpackerprods |🎞 “I Got The Mic” Richard & Tina Knowles-Lawson | 🎬Oscars 2020-DV film “The Abused”
Stephanie Kennedy @WordswithSteph
84K Followers 29K Following #BidenHarris Team • 2xBrain Tumor Survivor • Proud supporter @TheDemCoalition #ImpeachmentTaskForce 2019-20 • Former writer/editor/talent scout @londonsummerjam
Rachel Rose Keller @RachelRoseK
161 Followers 328 Following Comedy person/place/thing. Chronically ill, chronically chill. Words in @reductress, @mcsweeneys, etc. Sketch @GOLDComedy, @boogiemanja
Sarah J. Hass @tacko_belle
1K Followers 1K Following Playing the violin, competitive swimming, and coin collecting are all things I have decided not to pursue
Leanne C. @leanne
678 Followers 1K Following writer. collage artist. advertising cd. I like poetry, kidlit, sarcasm, negronis.
Croissant Haver @Liz__Bastos
784 Followers 2K Following 59% water, 40% French pastry, 1% ARCGIS. ✍️ @The_Belladonna @SlackjawHumor @McSweeneys @Frazzled @TheStopgap
Sharon the Wistful @thewistfulgypsy
120 Followers 374 Following I make & write stuff. I ♥ adventures, imperfection, peanut butter. I'm wistful & gypsy-ish. Purveyor of frivolity & nonsense. https://t.co/wCG6KoJK5j
Pavel Кulyuk @Paveluljuk
15K Followers 15K Following I'm #journalist. I specialize: White House, military conflicts, politics, real estate, local news.
Steve Anc~An Author(A.. @steveanc1
8K Followers 5K Following Anc's works have been published in the American University of Iraq, Sulaimani, South Broadway Press, Fire Mag, etc. He is a #Pushcart Price Nominee.
JP Gillespie @jp_gillespie_
1K Followers 2K Following Self-Published Children’s Book author 📚💰 | Creator of Drakes Gem | Click link below to purchase. | #Author #xrp #jasmy #QNT
kelley @kelleywelchy
75 Followers 103 Following take a joke or take a hike - nomad RVing the country, writer, carnivore, big time silly goose
cold cream kitty 🌧.. @Kittyah355
4K Followers 3K Following But when I grow up I want to be like you. Them/ Thar. 😸😸
Tough for the @Avalanche to win a hockey game giving up 7 goals on 23 shots.... Still fun game to watch.
I am going on vacation next week and I have made the momentous decision not to bring my laptop. I have never done this before. Have you?
My Friday night plans. What’s everyone else up to?
Five women. One seafood tower. Zero leftovers.
May you be happy. May you be healthy. May you be safe from harm. May you live with ease.✨
It wasn't a huge shock, the rest of my team got axed last year and the person I wrote speeches for just retired. I have a good chunk of experience (private, including start-ups, non-profits and public sector). Appreciate any leads, advice, support, etc. #Vancouver area or remote.
Personal news: I was just laid off. If you know of any opportunities that might apply (#journalism [print and broadcast], comms, #speechwriting, senior writer etc.) please reach out. Would love an RT if you can help spread the word. Many thanks🙏
Accidentally wrote a piece the length it needs to be instead of the length prescribed by most journals.
@BlayrAustin Maybe start with a nice tree pose in yoga. Squeeze everything and imagine you have roots deep in ground. If you fall over maybe try a supine twist 🙃
@BlayrAustin You're doing better than me... I was just reading about the worst 10 mattresses of all time.
@BlayrAustin Thank you so much! This will make book number 10 for me... which is great b/c I'm more about quantity rather than quality. 😀
Tada! 💥 Excited to reveal the #bookcoverdesign of my next book coming on May 1st. Had so much fun with the last 2 #quote #books that I decided to make another about birthdays. Available in paperback & #Kindle. #birthdaygift #quotesaboutlife #newbooks
going even a little viral seems like it would be great but it causes PANIC ATTACKS
@BlayrAustin Wow this is incredible 👏🏿👏🏿👏🏿
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