A Southern Nobody 🃏 @ExLibrisNemo
Southern man. I kneel to one King. You're playing Chess; I'm playing Hungry Hungry Hippos. Don't take me seriously unless I'm being serious. #BringLawnDartsBack Bayous and Magnolias Joined March 2019-
Tweets49K
-
Followers4K
-
Following766
-
Likes222K
Do you ever get so bored at work that you do things just to humor yourself? For example, today, I called everyone at work a "Fed." Everyone. No exceptions. And two people got pretty upset about it. In other news, I found out that I work with two Feds.
11
6
134
2K
0
How much did the bison drink?
The perfect picture doesn't exi....
Three to go...
A Southern Nobody 🃏 retweeted
Okay, I just saw the video and I admit that I was wrong because that's hilarious!
I'm Nobody. This is my story.
Some people say you will swallow 8 spiders a year while you're sleeping. Mostly because you suck at setting goals and don't apply yourself.
We need to bring back the ACTUAL 'public square' so we can then bring back ACTUAL public shaming.
VP: Blah blah blah "Integrity in the workplace is paramount" Blah blah blah ME: "You're the VP that made the decision to NOT keep a backup roll of toilet paper in the restrooms so maybe sit this one out, Bob." VP: "Do you want to see HR?" HR (all women): "Let him cook."
Your existential crisis is, in fact, neither existential nor a crisis.
Every male friend group has someone referred to as "the man, the myth, the legend." It's usually just a guy named Greg.
And for my birthday, I sent it right back to @AkaMrJenkins. Happy Birthday!!!
And for my birthday, I sent it right back to @AkaMrJenkins. Happy Birthday!!!
Vans Shoes: "We always land right side up." Chocolate Cake: "Go f**k yourself."
A Southern Nobody 🃏 retweeted
Joanne Mason @JoanneMason11
25K Followers 594 Following Wife, mother, klutz. Flawed follower of Christ. Drinker of Glenfiddich, buyer of shoes. Seriously, I need a nap.
Jon 🔬 @JonnyMicro
21K Followers 3K Following Clinical microbiologist by day. Cheese aficionado and geek all the time. I have been, and always shall be, your friend. Opinions are mine alone. Love my kids.
Ingenuous Firebrand �.. @ING2Firebrand
11K Followers 995 Following Universally-beloved meme artisan | unofficial official Firebrambassador | Fashion & Lifestyle Coach | humorous-adjacent tweets | certified Alpha
G @stevensongs
15K Followers 6K Following What I don’t know, I make up. Couple skills. Seen things. Done stuff. Friend not foe. Here for laughs. Not adding days to my life, but life to my days.
Tandy @dantypo
22K Followers 5K Following “Abandon all hope, ye who enter.” If you use rigatoni as your pasta, you do not love those you serve.
Flinnie @flinnie
15K Followers 2K Following I'm a delight©. @mountains_anna named a duck after me. Aunt to a wonderful nephew. Socially unaware and whack. Veni, vidi, cecidit de sella me
Texas Courtney @AlaskanCourtney
24K Followers 12K Following Chronically fabulous. God girl. Handmaiden of the patriarchy. Wavy haired queen of leggings. Professional badass. Commies suck. אני בעד ישראל. #TeamIronWill
Lady Demosthenes @LadyDemosthenes
13K Followers 1K Following A klutzy, quixotic bundle of witticisms, worries, and wanderlust. I’m just here to giggle, mostly at myself.
Cheese For Everyone! @CheeseForEvery1
9K Followers 1K Following Political scientist. Professor. Scurrilous Whig. Not a Nobel Prize winner. Vol For Life without parole. I only subtweet myself.
Max von Side-Eye @SvenTystnad
10K Followers 8K Following I like to watch movies, eat cheese, and brag about it. Writing stories now and publishing on https://t.co/KQItLk3TAG 💁♂️ #FilmTwitter #Humorist
Amy 🐘🦙🚫🧟�.. @WaltzingMtilda
25K Followers 5K Following Beloved. Jesus is my homeboy, Dave Grohl is my therapist. Queen of The Silver Dollar. I cuss a lot. Freelancer and Conservative Rage Curator at @TwitchyTeam
Rufus T. Firefly (swo.. @hoggomcswineass
5K Followers 1K Following Habitual beer and whiskey drinking husband/dad of one. Usually the reason why we can't have nice things.
Toad @ItsToad_
3K Followers 879 Following https://t.co/Cq9K1I6dQD Arbiter of Truth Retired Boy Scout, 2nd Class Best grilled cheese sandwich maker in the world
Snarky Tea Smuggler @SullyBobbi
14K Followers 1K Following Proud wife, mother, and American. Conservatarian/politically homeless (*not* Republican). I don't watch Fox, but nice try. *Madcap hijinks ensue*
Elijah the Middleborn.. @TheMiddleborne
6K Followers 1K Following Merely Christian; husband to a redhead wife, father to FIVE redheads. Someday, in this life or the next, redheads will have our vengeance; woodsmith
George Wept @GeorgeWept
12K Followers 5K Following Conservative woman, posing as a weeping Founding Father, because Twitter is insane. Still #WithDeSantis. Pray for Israel.🇮🇱 ░S░I░D░E░E░Y░E░ ░I░N░ ░B░I░O░
I'm Jeff 🍻 @fyvie2
6K Followers 963 Following I just Tweet here. Masculinity is never toxic. I like your dog. Twitter is the new gibbet. Cowboy up. I live with a rabbit, you can't hurt me.
Kyle Beckley @Kyle_Beckley
6K Followers 3K Following We should forgive our enemies, but not before they are hanged
Leigh Carter @cartercode7
12K Followers 13K Following Historical Fiction writer, support first responders and military. Citizen PD volunteer. #MAGA #Trump #NRA. Pronouns: bite/me. NO DMs, So Do NOT DM ME!!!!!!!!!!!
The Book of Not Sure @EnlightenedCode
2 Followers 11 Following Orgasms Arrive by Divine Gift. by EnlightenedAI.
Taha Rashik @taharashik
211 Followers 2K Following
Endless Roaming @endless_roaming
68K Followers 45K Following Posting photos using various camera phones taken during my travels around the world. Happy to answer any questions.
Loretish @Loretish13875
0 Followers 111 Following
BagratKudryavcev @BagratKudr44928
1K Followers 6K Following
𝕁𝕠𝕙𝕟 🎩 @Jumperjohn1976
5K Followers 5K Following ʍǝıʌ ɟo ʇuıod ʇuǝɹǝɟɟıp ɐ ɯoɹɟ ʇı ʇɐ ʞooן oʇ sı ɯǝןqoɹd ɐ ǝʌןos oʇ ʎɐʍ ʇsǝq ǝɥʇ sǝɯıʇǝɯos
✨･ ﾟ𝓿𝔦ηt.. @wanderfall9
3K Followers 1K Following Texas born, Midwest raised. Traditional Catholic. Conservative. Pro-military. #1A #2A #Prolife Pronouns: doo-wah/diddy-dum/diddy-doo 🚫 DMs
JennK💙🟦 @jenniferkrneta
4K Followers 4K Following lighten up Francis. this place is too damn serious. IG @jenkrneta. #alopeciasurvivor
Goat Lover Club @GoatLoverClub
85 Followers 2K Following Welcome to @GoatLoverClub We share daily goat contents. Follow us if you really love GOAT.
Leigh Thomas Brown�.. @LeighBrown
11K Followers 7K Following Pro-SMALL business conservative with common sense and a smile. Mama, wife, child of God. No idea what life has in store but looking.
Tito @titMcGrit2
10K Followers 9K Following put on the special glasses 🕶 / pronouns are baked and potato / why am i Mr. Pink? / #monica / @D_lightful_D wife
Marco @marcorasi1960
39K Followers 19K Following I tweet for fun, mostly photographs I take in New Orleans.
🇺🇸Randall Silva.. @randallsilva
6K Followers 6K Following Red Blooded America First Patriot | DMs will not be answered, don’t send one | Trump is our President | Biden is lost in space | I am not a bot | #FAFO
PapaJoe 2.0 @joefu82
419 Followers 1K Following "...however much you deny the truth, the truth goes on existing..." - George Orwell #WITH #NCSTATE c/o '82
David Darnell Jr @DavidDarne5112
445 Followers 2K Following Pray Dance Build Fight You are the resistance
AI Generated Producti.. @AIGenPro
639 Followers 2K Following We’re a media company that specializes in high quality entertainment generated by Artificial Intelligence. More: @GenAIChad @AIGenStudios
Identifies as a Pirat.. @BobGagliano
2K Followers 5K Following Patriot. Conservative Catholic. Preferred pronouns: dude/dude. I don’t hate anyone, but I sure don’t like fascists. I follow back real people.
JeffSC @liberalismONCMD
2K Followers 2K Following Trump❌ Biden❌ Conservatism always wins. We just need Conservatives Laughing beats crying. Imma keep it reals. FFS
easilyamused @testifyy
2K Followers 3K Following Gothic and gingham loving housewife with no husband. I do as I please, a beautiful gift. I’m still searching for my Gomez and nirvana in central Texas. Gig’em
Petergreight ! @petergreight
1K Followers 3K Following No DMs, will delete unread !! Photography addict since 1970 , basically kept me broke for over 50 years. Parttime construction elevator operator , chain yanker
Christopher Boswell @TheInfamousDrB
1K Followers 4K Following Physicist Privateer only slightly Werewolf Classical Liberal Curious
Mike🇺🇸🍊 @VolNash
2K Followers 1K Following Proud American, Reagan Republican, God Fearing, Vol Alumni, Country Boy at Heart
Cat in the Hat @DomesticCEOCat
24K Followers 2K Following A Cat who likes hats. Professional finder of things. Never a coattail rider
Finger Gun Mommy @myfinger_guns
1K Followers 594 Following
Anne Wilson Smith @EarlyAnnieSC
248 Followers 693 Following Christian. Southerner. Mostly harmless. Author of Charlottesville Untold & Robert E. Lee for Kids. Founder of https://t.co/oWOTGOytEQ. Contributor to Vdare.
Jake13th 🏴☠�.. @JakeThirteenth
5K Followers 2K Following anti-communist | anti-baby murder | If you have a problem with Jews, go ahead and unfollow or block me.
Kaya @kayainexile
1K Followers 433 Following Probably somebody that you used to know. The OG Redneck Geisha
Kathryn Corey @CoreyKkcorey
85 Followers 343 Following
Billytex940 @billytex940
5K Followers 4K Following oil driller and producer. WARNING: I am a White Christian man, unvaccinated, well armed, MAGA Patriot who is voting for Donald Trump. Follow with care! Navy Vet
Olaf MacKochinar 🇺.. @OlafMacKochinar
485 Followers 2K Following Was there on Jan 6. They were selling Trump shirts on every corner. Doy. ... previously @CottageLiberty
Aerick Lux @AerickLux42
2K Followers 8K Following Star Emperor and King... Badass Blood Curdling Writings Here, Just warnin yah in advance, no DM's, I really don't like it, might get you blocked...
nno 25m @nnuui09
2K Followers 5K Following . ⧼﮼🤎!🖤﮼⧽ -﮼ . #myLady @imuronlinegf - https://t.co/SM5f2kosIJ 🕕🥹
Mikki's World @MikkisWorldUSA
97 Followers 297 Following Welcome To Mikki's World! Specializing in Discounted Designer Fashion, Bags, & Beauty Items 🩷 Poshmark @mikkisworld & @mikkiswholesale eBay @ MicheleShilling
SamanthaVan @SamanthaVan_
97 Followers 580 Following something witty about homeschooling and tweeting about random things of varying importance
forafew dollar @foranumbtoe
67 Followers 410 Following it’s a long way to the top if you want to rock and roll.
Joanne Mason @JoanneMason11
25K Followers 594 Following Wife, mother, klutz. Flawed follower of Christ. Drinker of Glenfiddich, buyer of shoes. Seriously, I need a nap.
Jon 🔬 @JonnyMicro
21K Followers 3K Following Clinical microbiologist by day. Cheese aficionado and geek all the time. I have been, and always shall be, your friend. Opinions are mine alone. Love my kids.
Ingenuous Firebrand �.. @ING2Firebrand
11K Followers 995 Following Universally-beloved meme artisan | unofficial official Firebrambassador | Fashion & Lifestyle Coach | humorous-adjacent tweets | certified Alpha
G @stevensongs
15K Followers 6K Following What I don’t know, I make up. Couple skills. Seen things. Done stuff. Friend not foe. Here for laughs. Not adding days to my life, but life to my days.
Tandy @dantypo
22K Followers 5K Following “Abandon all hope, ye who enter.” If you use rigatoni as your pasta, you do not love those you serve.
Flinnie @flinnie
15K Followers 2K Following I'm a delight©. @mountains_anna named a duck after me. Aunt to a wonderful nephew. Socially unaware and whack. Veni, vidi, cecidit de sella me
Texas Courtney @AlaskanCourtney
24K Followers 12K Following Chronically fabulous. God girl. Handmaiden of the patriarchy. Wavy haired queen of leggings. Professional badass. Commies suck. אני בעד ישראל. #TeamIronWill
Lady Demosthenes @LadyDemosthenes
13K Followers 1K Following A klutzy, quixotic bundle of witticisms, worries, and wanderlust. I’m just here to giggle, mostly at myself.
Cheese For Everyone! @CheeseForEvery1
9K Followers 1K Following Political scientist. Professor. Scurrilous Whig. Not a Nobel Prize winner. Vol For Life without parole. I only subtweet myself.
Max von Side-Eye @SvenTystnad
10K Followers 8K Following I like to watch movies, eat cheese, and brag about it. Writing stories now and publishing on https://t.co/KQItLk3TAG 💁♂️ #FilmTwitter #Humorist
Amy 🐘🦙🚫🧟�.. @WaltzingMtilda
25K Followers 5K Following Beloved. Jesus is my homeboy, Dave Grohl is my therapist. Queen of The Silver Dollar. I cuss a lot. Freelancer and Conservative Rage Curator at @TwitchyTeam
Rufus T. Firefly (swo.. @hoggomcswineass
5K Followers 1K Following Habitual beer and whiskey drinking husband/dad of one. Usually the reason why we can't have nice things.
Toad @ItsToad_
3K Followers 879 Following https://t.co/Cq9K1I6dQD Arbiter of Truth Retired Boy Scout, 2nd Class Best grilled cheese sandwich maker in the world
Snarky Tea Smuggler @SullyBobbi
14K Followers 1K Following Proud wife, mother, and American. Conservatarian/politically homeless (*not* Republican). I don't watch Fox, but nice try. *Madcap hijinks ensue*
Elijah the Middleborn.. @TheMiddleborne
6K Followers 1K Following Merely Christian; husband to a redhead wife, father to FIVE redheads. Someday, in this life or the next, redheads will have our vengeance; woodsmith
George Wept @GeorgeWept
12K Followers 5K Following Conservative woman, posing as a weeping Founding Father, because Twitter is insane. Still #WithDeSantis. Pray for Israel.🇮🇱 ░S░I░D░E░E░Y░E░ ░I░N░ ░B░I░O░
I'm Jeff 🍻 @fyvie2
6K Followers 963 Following I just Tweet here. Masculinity is never toxic. I like your dog. Twitter is the new gibbet. Cowboy up. I live with a rabbit, you can't hurt me.
Kyle Beckley @Kyle_Beckley
6K Followers 3K Following We should forgive our enemies, but not before they are hanged
Arie Friedman @ArieFriedman
7K Followers 3K Following One of “those” Jews. עַם יִשְׂרָאֵל חַי 🇮🇱🇮🇱🇮🇱🍌🍌🍌
Empress* @Parineca
3K Followers 4K Following Bill of Rights Constitutional conservative. Deliverance ministry OWCE. Alabama native. Nuclear family of LEOs. Keep watch in the Lord Jesus Christ.
𝑻𝒓𝒂𝒄𝒚�.. @JusticeBlaze
6K Followers 6K Following 𝑮𝒓𝒂𝒕𝒆𝒇𝒖𝒍 & 𝑩𝒍𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒅 ❥࿎ 𓃰 𝑶𝑼𝑫𝑵𝑨-𝑼𝑺𝑨𝑭 𝑽𝒆𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒂𝒏. 𝑶𝒌𝒍𝒂𝒉𝒐𝒎𝒂 𝒃𝒓𝒆𝒅.
Jim, “The” Averag.. @avgchiefsfan
1K Followers 2K Following Conservative with an awesome wife and 3 great kids. Lifelong KC Chiefs fan.
Cat in the Hat @DomesticCEOCat
24K Followers 2K Following A Cat who likes hats. Professional finder of things. Never a coattail rider
Jake13th 🏴☠�.. @JakeThirteenth
5K Followers 2K Following anti-communist | anti-baby murder | If you have a problem with Jews, go ahead and unfollow or block me.
Kaya @kayainexile
1K Followers 433 Following Probably somebody that you used to know. The OG Redneck Geisha
M Gomes @GomesMatt99
13 Followers 17 Following
M3chaMage @m3chamage
162 Followers 520 Following
Caesar Solid IV @caesarsolidiv
269 Followers 249 Following
Thomas Gallagher @thommygallagher
2K Followers 1K Following
Luki @hpygoluki
1K Followers 2K Following
Wandering Soul @runningamok87
981 Followers 982 Following Sunshine with a little hurricane. Beautiful chaos. Professional overthinker. Solivagant. Independent. God wins. ♥️
Laura W. @BumpstockBarbie
15K Followers 10K Following Christian. Wife. Mother. Conservative Rage Curator for @TwitchyTeam. Civilian Journalist at @WrongSpeakPub. Gun-Toting Goddess. All things horror.
Jerry'sGirlSC✝️�.. @JerrysGirlAsP
599 Followers 788 Following
Hard Pass @NotHardPass4
4K Followers 498 Following 5G Grill Respector | Things That Go Bang | I’m not Ron Swanson
Snarly but Still Spar.. @ReeseKarnuth
1K Followers 3K Following The perpetual cadence of the vast sea Stirs a restless desire that engulfs me. Like an infinite force I dare not impede. Dog Lover, Still a Philly Sports Phan
Deckard2019 @Deckard20191
849 Followers 2K Following Bemused observer. Bitter misanthrope. Mostly here for the snark. Mostly. Revenant in training.
RebbK @TroddenTrail
192 Followers 288 Following
RebR @Rebkr2
56 Followers 40 Following
Firearms Policy Coali.. @gunpolicy
266K Followers 5K Following Your friendly neighborhood freedom fighters. We’re working to create a world of maximal liberty. Superior firepower through superior memes (and lawsuits).
D.H. Cannon (Thumbles.. @D_H_Cannon
2K Followers 1K Following Black boot army alum. Burners Playboy BigRitoMan. Tacos flip flops & big butts #GoldCorpFundraisingDivision.....Principled Inebriate
Tom @TNTMP91911
409 Followers 526 Following Blessed beyond measure or merit • Navy Vet • Romans 8:38-39 • My alternate account
National Park Toad Li.. @EricVldw
1K Followers 2K Following VMFA122 Crusaders. F/A-18 Avionics. #mitosucks #RememberDavidDorn #RememberCannonHinnant #RememberCashGernon #turn22to0
EnthusiasticallyBored @Verbish75
542 Followers 598 Following For all your GM Howdy and Tonight's Tweets brought to you by needs... Official Tweet Endorser Nobody Asked For
BatMN @_BatMN_
613 Followers 778 Following “The Shadow that bred them can only mock, it cannot make: not real new things of its own." Retweet is not endorsement, agreement, or support. Or it might be.
Coder CoderDyne @CCoderDyne
472 Followers 414 Following This account shouldn't be necessary, YOU SEE.
WhiskeyGrace_1984 @Whiskeygrace1
142 Followers 125 Following
RaeSM @RaeSM3
295 Followers 439 Following Favorite multipurpose phrase/response: "Well bless your heart!"
TwilightUmbrage @TwilightUmbrage
328 Followers 598 Following Former DustBunny. Collecting mental jewelry and internet lint. Suffering from wonderlust. My❤️is entangled with another: smoochie action at a distance.
Kevin Mallery @62wellwater
2K Followers 2K Following Just never you mind. Behind the Circle-K. A bottomless pit of worthless information.
Le Fleur @tbflowers
760 Followers 2K Following 💘🇺🇸🇮🇱🇹🇼🇺🇦⚽🚓🚀🛩🚛⚓ Bisweptual, T1D & MS caregiver;❤️🔥 sports,books,movies,games,drink,T&A; Anti:Commie,Nazi,Theocracy,GreatReset,WEF,de-growth
Spooky Mulder @KrikkitMotel
313 Followers 380 Following those who escape hell however never talk about it and nothing much bothers them after that.
Savvy, revivified @SavvyUnbowed
1K Followers 1K Following Hello again. Be kind. Build your tribe. Become independent.
✨ Dianna ✨ @TruthSeekingDi
358 Followers 588 Following We’re on a rock, flying through space! Perpetually optimistic, perpetual student, forever baffled by the time humans seem to waste while here.
@damintoell Hey @ExLibrisNemo a new flavor for you to try!
Seeing a lot of Middle East stuff in the news and I don’t really know much so I’m trying to learn about authentic cuisine.
@ExLibrisNemo When they would bring in new hires out to the floor where we were working, I would refer to myself in the third person ie "John Smith is pleased to meet you"
@ExLibrisNemo I read this to my husband and he thought it was my post. No no, honey. I'm not the only person that engages in unsanctioned social experiements to pass time. If you are ever really bored, poll the group on if time travel is real.
@ExLibrisNemo But pickles are good! But yes, bring back lawn darts.
@ExLibrisNemo Is it supposed to mean something?
@ExLibrisNemo Jarts in a cucumber?
@daniellemerrim1 "Fuck, Danielle is pretty fly for a Jesus cat" - rejected Offspring lyric
One of the best photos of 2024 so far: Fraternity brothers are pelted by anti-Israel protesters at UNC Chapel Hill while protecting the United States flag as it is re-hoisted following its removal by protesters. Well done, gentleman. 🫡🇺🇸
@ExLibrisNemo Were they dressed in navy blue tops and khaki pants? Perhaps they’re part of the FBI’s Patriot Front squad. 😁
@gracieawaits Toad The Wet Sprocket
What is it that makes the safer side of cities almost always on the north side and the less safer side always on the south side? 🤔
Trends for United States
35,7 B posts
11,5 B posts
1.108 posts
99,2 B posts
5.208 posts
10,8 B posts
1.124 posts
39,8 B posts
4.263 posts
10 B posts
591 B posts
203 B posts
85,7 B posts
1.243 posts
4.037 posts
8.471 posts
2.981 posts
9.786 posts
13,2 B posts
You might like
Smells Like Teen Stat..
@BlueEightySix
3K Followers
Elijah the Middleborn..
@TheMiddleborne
6K Followers
Toad
@ItsToad_
3K Followers
Lady Demosthenes
@LadyDemosthenes
13K Followers
Jon 🔬
@JonnyMicro
21K Followers
Flinnie
@flinnie
15K Followers
Big Daddy
@bigdaddyofnine
3K Followers
BagOfBones
@nortelerkSlE
1K Followers
Aggie The Barbabe
@AggieTheBarkeep
3K Followers
Ingenuous Firebrand �..
@ING2Firebrand
11K Followers
Sturdy Jenn
@nogooddeed2
13K Followers
Physics Geek
@physicsgeek
16K Followers
Porc
@PorcTexas
3K Followers
Uncultured Purrl
@AmericanPurrl
4K Followers
Mickey Blowtorch
@MickeyBlowtorch
17K Followers