Toad @ItsToad_
https://t.co/Cq9K1I6dQD Arbiter of Truth Retired Boy Scout, 2nd Class Best grilled cheese sandwich maker in the world Fucknutsville, Texas Joined December 2016-
Tweets51K
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Followers3K
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Following881
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Likes119K
Hey look, Mimi stole your best tweet
I’m gonna be honest with you, I’m not entirely convinced the southern hemisphere is real
I have the weirdest boner right now
I have the weirdest boner right now
If you ever feel like you’re at rock bottom remember there is someone out there that was excited about buying a Saturn Ion
Toad retweeted
Toad retweeted
I'd totally eat a T-Rex!
Y’all remember that time last week when everyone was telling you to look between two keys on the keyboard and nobody got killed for starting that trend? That was a shame.
Deal with it Baylor, SMU, Abilene Christian, SF Austin, SHSU, Lamar, UTSA, Texas State, Prairie View, Texas Southern, Tarleton, Incarnate Word, and North Texas
Deal with it Baylor, SMU, Abilene Christian, SF Austin, SHSU, Lamar, UTSA, Texas State, Prairie View, Texas Southern, Tarleton, Incarnate Word, and North Texas
Hey @lee_bail83 are you still trying to find a dog sitter for Lucy?
Hey @lee_bail83 are you still trying to find a dog sitter for Lucy?
I need somebody to set this video to Cotton Eye Joe
Toad retweeted
Can’t you just cook like your mom?
Toad retweeted
Iron Toad @ItsToad_
you wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me
What movie has practical effects that have held up very well considering their age?
What movie has practical effects that have held up very well considering their age? https://t.co/1sTNjnUzoB
You leak one of Troy’s sex tape and he gets all mad about it
You leak one of Troy’s sex tape and he gets all mad about it
Toad retweeted
Bud Light is a superior light beer - @DillowTalk2
What the world sees vs what my disgusting moron of a dog sees
Toad retweeted
Thank God they finally bathed
Thank God they finally bathed
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Jon 🔬 @JonnyMicro
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Max von Side-Eye @SvenTystnad
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Schadenfreudelish @aggierican
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Amy Curtis 🇮🇱 @RantyAmyCurtis
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Greace Nieves @GreaceNiev41368
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Adam Macdonald 🇨�.. @AdamMac06154721
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Bradley @BradGray00
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Darth Penguin 🇺�.. @Darth_Penguin_
1K Followers 3K Following Hoth = Cold AF. Send more fish and Whiskey! #1U #Awake #2A Ancient #11B #4thID Pronouns 5.56/7.62. #WakeUpSheep
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Ludymae @hootiepoo12
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Rod Torfelson @sbc0718
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AuntieVeeee 📷I tak.. @HeddyNajjar
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Only The 'Ferrite' Ge.. @smitty_one_each
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Tito @titMcGrit2
10K Followers 9K Following put on the special glasses 🕶 / pronouns are baked and potato / why am i Mr. Pink? / #monica / @D_lightful_D wife
Casey J @caseyjbarlow
134 Followers 367 Following I know ball... I do... maybe. Who really knows ball? #FEBU #ScoDucks #UpdaSco
D Wagner @dwagner1978
192 Followers 468 Following
Everyday 🌻🇺🇦.. @icope
19K Followers 16K Following Students are the passports to our future! PLEASE donate to the teacher inspired GoFundMe campaign to help teachers & their students. 💙🌊 🚫DM’s, Porn or MAGA🚫
Donk @Donkish48
325 Followers 366 Following "You know... in the end, treason is a matter of dates. And I shall be the patriot, and you the traitor, when the emperor returns."
Harry @DEselmore
1K Followers 5K Following To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticize
Monty Nicol @NicolMonty
1K Followers 2K Following GreatAwakening mod team leader, researcher, crypto enthusiast (2014), unvaxxed 4ever. Speech is only free because supply exceeds demand. F this—leaving Canada.
HumanProbably @HumanProbably2
642 Followers 450 Following Just a Human. Probably. Someone who cares about the future and is concerned with the direction we are headed.
🇺🇸Randall Silva.. @randallsilva
6K Followers 6K Following Red Blooded America First Patriot | DMs will not be answered, don’t send one | Trump is our President | Biden is lost in space | I am not a bot | #FAFO
BlueFalcon2 @BFbackupacct
14 Followers 14 Following When the tattletales get you, have a back up account.
Richard C. Stafford @Ritchiec21067
1K Followers 4K Following Wisconsin by birth, #GOPACKGO My university was USMC; my country called and I still answer until I'm too old. Leaving the crazy 🤪 DMs are off; I'm here 4 🤪
Nic @psyopop
2K Followers 1K Following They got a name for the winners in the world I want a name when I lose They call Alabama the Crimson Tide Call me Deacon Blues
Philo Beddoe and Clyd.. @jabsjj
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Elon Musk @elonmusk31559
29 Followers 1K Following 🚀| Spacex • CEO & CTO 🚔| Tesla • CEO and Product architect 🚄| Hyperloop • Founder 🧩| OpenAI • Co-founder
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Anthony @Anthony65890452
851 Followers 4K Following I'm Anthony Jake from Detroit Michigan usa, God fearing man kind, lovely 😍🌹 and 👍🙂👍.
Ingenuous Firebrand �.. @ING2Firebrand
11K Followers 994 Following Universally-beloved meme artisan | unofficial official Firebrambassador | Fashion & Lifestyle Coach | humorous-adjacent tweets | certified Alpha
Jon 🔬 @JonnyMicro
21K Followers 3K Following Clinical microbiologist by day. Cheese aficionado and geek all the time. I have been, and always shall be, your friend. Opinions are mine alone. Love my kids.
Flinnie @flinnie
15K Followers 2K Following I'm a delight©. @mountains_anna named a duck after me. Aunt to a wonderful nephew. Socially unaware and whack. Veni, vidi, cecidit de sella me
Tandy @dantypo
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Cheese For Everyone! @CheeseForEvery1
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A Southern Nobody �.. @ExLibrisNemo
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The Gormogons @Gormogons
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Lady Demosthenes @LadyDemosthenes
13K Followers 1K Following A klutzy, quixotic bundle of witticisms, worries, and wanderlust. I’m just here to giggle, mostly at myself.
Max von Side-Eye @SvenTystnad
10K Followers 8K Following I like to watch movies, eat cheese, and brag about it. Writing stories now and publishing on https://t.co/KQItLk3TAG 💁♂️ #FilmTwitter #Humorist
Schadenfreudelish @aggierican
28K Followers 3K Following Gobbledegook is doubleplus ungood. Stoichiometric. Unique taco. Undiluted joy. Chanclish expert. The capybara of hostesses. ░C░H░A░N░C░L░A░ ░I░N░ ░B░I░O░
laura @fancythis
34K Followers 2K Following 🏴 ‘cause your dollar ain’t shit and it’s taxed to no end ‘cause of rich men north of richmond 🏴
Rufus T. Firefly (swo.. @hoggomcswineass
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Snarky Tea Smuggler @SullyBobbi
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Elijah the Middleborn.. @TheMiddleborne
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Smells Like Teen Stat.. @BlueEightySix
3K Followers 3K Following Haha, made you look. For a good time, call me Blue. ⳩
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Mermaid @Girl777Cali
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Kristin @KiKi1185
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𝐉𝐮𝐬𝐭_𝐃.. @TxLobo
1K Followers 3K Following #Texas. #2A. FPC/NRA/GOA. Crypto / porn bots - Blocked . https://t.co/A4SgnQ4sIU
Vance Yerby @TheVanceYerby
155 Followers 330 Following Connoisseur of carnivore, cats, and cars. Not famous but well known. Insufferable Mississippi State Bulldog fan.
Bart Cianciolo @Loudermouth7
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Anna Hitrova @mountains_anna
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Kosher Doll @KosherDoll
147 Followers 176 Following
Enguerrand VII de Cou.. @ingelramdecoucy
9K Followers 2K Following Roy ne suis, ne prince ne duc, ne comte aussy; je suis sire de Coucy. Freelancer at Twitchy. Lord of Coucy
Uranus Fudge Factory @UranusMissouri
5K Followers 404 Following Welcome to Uranus! Home of the World Famous "Uranus Fudge Factory and General Store" The Best Fudge Comes From Uranus
Corey 🍁 @swashbucklin
318 Followers 677 Following Christian, Husband and Father, Can-Am, Photographer
Brandon Hannibal Donk.. @BrandonDonkey2
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Petal @PetalsScreen
107 Followers 226 Following 🐈 🐈⬛ ☘️ 🐣 🐰🌂🪷 Music, movies, gaming, and food. Been all around the world 🌎 ❤️ Taxation is theft. Make it stop.
Marcus Epistemicidal .. @MarcusDAurelius
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329 Followers 355 Following It's illegal to walk around naked, so you might as well buy some of our crap.
Dr. History by the ,5.. @historybythpint
3K Followers 3K Following 'Don't be an ass.' 'I'm not an ass ... Am I an ass, Jeeves?' 'Possibly a little injudicious, sir.'
Stacy @life0fStacy13
4K Followers 3K Following MOMMY 👩🏼🎨👧🏼 ❤️🩹Was a d-TGA w/mustard. ♥️ Transplant 11/3/22 @ucla #CHD #UCLA #DonateLife #FOSTERCARE #ADOPTION Habibi @gaintrust_us
Fren @bannedsome
2K Followers 726 Following Grower of peaches, shewer of cats, admirer of milkers. Globalist are poisoning the music supply. I’ll vote however you want if you show me your boobs.
KptKerosive @Kpt_Kerosive
1K Followers 2K Following I'm weird and I cuss a lot. Proud crayon eater. I post to keep myselves company. I might try to sell you meatloaf. Now hiring new grandparents and left socks.
Berg 0️⃣ @cydonia0
428 Followers 523 Following Never did we know, What the future would hold / Love U2, Fuel, Muse, Creed / sup girl, let’s split the check
Oklahoma Department o.. @OKWildlifeDept
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The Masstronaut @TMasstronaut
407 Followers 457 Following Blasted off from Massachusetts in 2012. Currently in geosynchronous orbit somewhere over Colorado.
The Lectern Guy🇺�.. @lecternleader
62K Followers 9K Following The Lectern Guy, Podium Guy, Via Getty. Can fold a fitted sheet, gentleman in the streets, silly goose in the tweets.
The Stolid Bovine @stolidbovine
223 Followers 862 Following Sir Loin of Beef, capacious, carries through to twist. Sparker of Oy! (that bull/the bull)
Ordnance Jay Packard,.. @OrdnancePackard
6K Followers 2K Following Twitter's leading Amish attorney. Meme Sommelier Order of the Polecat Moonbeam. "Plus Ordy is just a Genx political comic genius" 11th plague of Egypt.
Mel_Awesome @Mel_Awesome
49 Followers 123 Following not.a.dude. snowboarding. carnivore. rescue dogs. taxation is theft. the internet isn't real, and your follower count / number of likes doesn't equal success.
Dirt McGirt @dirtmcgirt924
490 Followers 483 Following yup it’s me, good ol Dirt back at it again / Piper the Frenchie & Kaia the pit 🐶 ❤️ / 🇺🇸 / Ravens & Jags 🏈 Celtics 🏀 Red Sox ⚾️ / Navy Vet ⚓️
Hillbilly Harry @HarryJo90511390
994 Followers 2K Following Just a happy Hillbilly tryin not to piss off the overseer. I like drinkin and cussin, don't mean nothin by it.
Bad Lip Reading @BadLipReading
325K Followers 111 Following I put words into other people's mouths. The OFFICIAL Bad Lip Reading Twitter account
SamanthaofSarcasm @SamofSarcasm
626 Followers 722 Following Just because I choose not to drink doesn’t automatically make me no fun. That is a separate choice, which I also made.
Rani, Last of The Red.. @ShadesOfRani
2K Followers 806 Following Stirring the pot to see what floats to the top. Life's not fair. That's why bras come in different sizes. Convicted thought Criminal. pronouns: Hey/You/Yeah You
Punching up is funny. Punching down is funny. Punching straight across also is funny. Because comedy isn’t about speaking truth to power or discomforting the comfortable—it’s about how it’s funny when someone not you gets punched If it’s you that’s punched, it’s funny to others
@aelfred_D I like to punch diagonally
Finally, the bipartisanship we need.
@ItsToad_ @Pixieprogrammer @DillowTalk2 Don't cry Argentina, because you don't exist
@ItsToad_ I’ve never seen it with my own eyes.
@ItsToad_ @DillowTalk2 Fuck! Troy ruins everything.
Dreadnought
Establishing an early impression as the sweet little under dog is part of my overall strategy.
@BrandonDonkey2 For your consideration...
@ItsToad_ It's a big farm where they grow migrants
@ItsToad_ I had my doubts until I saw it for myself.
@ItsToad_ I live in Canada. It’s a crazy farm. Close enough?
@DiegoLTortoise @ItsToad_ We real... Kinda broken at this point but definitely real
@ItsToad_ Isn't that where bananas come from? We should nuke it off the map if real to protect the most fragile among us
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