Office Dares @OfficeDaring
Points are awarded for completing dares in the office. Keep your own scores. London Joined December 2011-
Tweets329
-
Followers5K
-
Following57
-
Likes0
Pretend to be a virtual poltergeist by sneaking into shared work documents and moving things around during the night. 3 points.
0
5
26
0
0
View Details
On a zoom call, keep telling a colleague "you're on mute!" even when they're not. 1 point each time.
When asked in an interview "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?", set a reminder for exactly 5 years into the future, and email the interviewer to confirm whether you were right or wrong. 5 points.
As you pass someone who is entering a meeting room, mention "I'd give that 5 minutes if I were you...". 2 points.
In an interview, answer any awkward question with, "telepathy", and say it's an answer to their future question about your greatest strength. 4 points.
Call the IT Helpdesk. Ask them to help rid your neighbourhood of a child-murdering clown. 4 points.
Text your boss saying you're not in today as you missed the Bank Holiday and are catching up on +1. 4 points.
It's easy to feel you're not cut out for your job sometimes. Then you remember that an angry tangerine ball-bag is the President of the USA.
Do your job as badly as Sean Spicer does his. 852 points.
Buy a yellow jumper. Interrupt as many Skype calls as possible at the office, like this. 4 points.
Turn up to work naked and claim you've dressed as a character from the Kama Sutra for #WorldBookDay. 69 points.
Deliberately miss a meeting with your boss, then send a note saying you were "told never to meet your heroes". 4 points.
Eat a pie at work, then resign. Sutton points.
In an appraisal, inform your boss that any negative comments from colleagues are simply 'fake news'. Trump points.
People in a meeting when there is 'catering provided' vs people in a meeting where you're told to 'eat lunch beforehand'.
During an appraisal, yell "FAKE NEWS!" every time you're criticised. Trump points.
Call in sick today. Say it must have been the 4 Calling Birds, 3 French Hens, or 2 Turtle Doves you ate. 12 points.
Do no work all day. If challenged, say you're taking part in a 24 hour Mannequin Challenge. 2 points.
Offer to organise Secret Santa in the office. Give everyone your name. 2 points.
On a conference call, play YouTube clips of people talking in Russian to convince everyone they've been hacked. 3 балла.
Pundamentalism @Pundamentalism
90K Followers 920 Following Puns don't kill people. Writer. DM for work enquiries.
Fwupir @Fwupir3820059
83 Followers 3K Following
Sensei Keihatsu @SenseiKeihatsu
18 Followers 91 Following To pass from awakening to enlightenment you must have true self-belief
jorji, biology master @jorjibell
228 Followers 366 Following Jesus freak. Wife, mom, Padres fan, Microbiologist, Veteran. I love Blake Snell and Austin Nola and dogs and corny jokes. header artwork by: hasler_88 on IG.
R A E L @raeljm
151 Followers 320 Following
Catherine Parkinson @CatParky
94 Followers 405 Following I'm a cult tv nerd, computer geek and mother of one. I am a Microsoft Excel legit wizard under account @ExcelCat - btw I’m not the actress from The IT Crowd
muzammil ali @muzammilali14
1 Followers 27 Following
Borislav Tonev @borislavt1988
12 Followers 360 Following
🤡 @unofficialmikec
4 Followers 156 Following
Bexber @bexber
99 Followers 1K Following Geordie. Disability and diversity. Big fan of words. Cats. Sofa. Garden.
Richard Drydale @RDrydale
22 Followers 128 Following Graduate Engineer at MAHLE Powertrain. Automotive Engineering at Lboro '11-'16.
Chris Webb @chriswebb1406
14 Followers 534 Following
Matt Rooney @mrooney_12
19 Followers 230 Following
Laura Newby @laurajnewby
83 Followers 231 Following
Shannon Roberts @shanbroberts
391 Followers 537 Following Family and Consumer Sciences Educator/FCCLA Adviser at Mason County High - University of Kentucky & Morehead State Alum - National FCCLA Board of Directors
Chris Gray @chrisbeatstim
62 Followers 135 Following Easygoing and adaptable (synonyms for lazy and indecisive)
Alex @AlexCrossUK
81 Followers 1K Following NQ solicitor, but doing very little soliciting thanks to Stage 4 bowel cancer. Cricket, law, politics, pub quizzes, DC comic books. Usually wearing a beanie.
wild lizard. @rossp2112
631 Followers 1K Following Primary school head teacher. Owl, wild lizard or possibly wizard depending who you believe. Rush / Marillion / Dream Theater 🏴
Thomas Lassey @ThomasLassey
18 Followers 67 Following
Christopher Balcombe @CB_WFC
8 Followers 416 Following ***Scenarios described may have been dramatised for comedic effect***
A @ACTEJT
2 Followers 236 Following
Jo Garnier @islandneep
15 Followers 115 Following
Peter Phillips @PeckhamAsylum
44 Followers 568 Following
zoe barton @peatpixie
550 Followers 1K Following fellrunner with Glossopdale Harriers, Mother of Fox, enthuser, endurer
Geekerella @Geekerella
2K Followers 4K Following There was truth and there was untruth, and if you clung to the truth even against the whole world, you were not mad. - Orwell #Kashmir #Palestine
Hammo @GBButch5
61 Followers 321 Following Bradford City & Bulls & 49ers fan. Theatre going, movie loving, comic book & music geek. Generally sarcastic pragmatist with occasional angry outbursts
Tom Price @thomasrprice
156 Followers 521 Following Work as a nurse in the NHS. Music mad. Leicester Tigers and Leicester City fan. Indoctrinated at a young age to support Wales Rugby. married to @cazmus
Jess 🦔 @jess230321
1 Followers 243 Following There is nothing we can't do if we work hard, never sleep, and shirk all other responsibilities in our lives
Huw Williams @huw_penylan
966 Followers 2K Following GP, Afon Elai Partnership, Cardiff. @cardiffsw cluster lead. Often mistaken for the postman. Lapsed academic. #manics #allotment #cricket. Cymro.
Stuart Kinge @StuartKinge
184 Followers 614 Following
Jimiconius @socialworkerJim
186 Followers 2K Following Big Warhammer AoS fan who has never played a game. Looking for community on here and who knows, maybe I will finish painting some minis. (He/Him)
GemmaAttew @GemmaCasey
448 Followers 1K Following Married to @deepelmjimmy and Mummy to Chloe & Emily.
Stu Gardiner @stu_gardiner
114 Followers 512 Following
Catherine 💙 @CatherineN007
218 Followers 743 Following If in doubt, smile; it's all a load of nonsense anyway! :-)
Dr A @DrCAinsley
32 Followers 1K Following
Matt Box @Mattbox80
115 Followers 701 Following
notfound @namenotavai
14 Followers 208 Following
Spenno ⭐️⭐️�... @spenno7
76 Followers 1K Following
Moose Allain Ꙭ @MooseAllain
121K Followers 2K Following He/him. Illustrator, cartoonist, husband, father, son, brother, uncle, nephew, cousin, second cousin, grandson, friend, acquaintance, enemy. @[email protected]
Pundamentalism @Pundamentalism
90K Followers 920 Following Puns don't kill people. Writer. DM for work enquiries.
GlennyRodge @GlennyRodge
24K Followers 1K Following Screenwriter, comedian, actor, socialist and model. These are words. As are custard, trumpet, wardrobe, trousers and dandelion.
Neil @_Enanem_
13K Followers 473 Following Good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good double, double good.
Danny Baker @prodnose
455K Followers 2K Following Prodnose: The Treehouse Podcast & A Thousand Fresh Delights. Do join us: https://t.co/OLSu1uryzv All New Material, Lady...
Tim Vine @RealTimVine
298K Followers 132 Following Comedian. Plastic Elvis. https://t.co/V1C4agGVpJ https://t.co/qwcXHSNiwa
𝗧𝘄𝗼𝗽 𝗧... @TwopTwips
143K Followers 3K Following Please listen to my awful music by following ‘The Rocket House’ on yer usual music platforms.
Infinite Monkeys @Authormatic
8 Followers 0 Following They say monkeys with typewriters would eventually write the works of Shakespeare. We're trying it with phone auto-complete.
Bayes Business School @BayesBSchool
23K Followers 6K Following We are a leading global business school in the City of London 🌆 part of @citystgeorges 🎓Always curious. Always bold. Always learning.
Fat Salad @fatsalad
748 Followers 410 Following Providing FAT portions of damn fine vegan & vegetarian eats to the masses. Keep track of our whereabouts to locate a box of the good stuff, holler at us!
GCS @GCSRecruitment
4K Followers 777 Following For jobs follow @GCSjobsfeed and for news follow @ThisisGCS
Sky News Breaking @SkyNewsBreak
4.7M Followers 3 Following The full story, first. Free, wherever you get your news. Follow @SkyNews for more. Insta & Tiktok: SkyNews Download our app: https://t.co/TsPkPSRmsO
Ben @0point5twins
13K Followers 588 Following I write jokes and longer stuff. Occasionally for money. Now also at: https://t.co/OK3aAqVOqY
Arantxa Colen @Notorious_AC
632 Followers 248 Following Elvis lover and Haribo connoisseur. Technophobe that struggles with mental arithmetic and finding hats that fit.
sixthformpoet @sixthformpoet
184K Followers 2K Following Please buy my book, I owe people money. enquiries: [email protected]
Jack Dee @TheRealJackDee
505K Followers 528 Following All views expressed are my own but you can express them too if you want to be right about everything like I am. If you want to chat go to the pub.
Milton Jones @themiltonjones
341K Followers 375 Following 2024/25 Tour HA!MILTON on sale now! https://t.co/d3sOZ748va Hee/Hee rep: [email protected] voices: [email protected]
donni saphire @donni
54K Followers 1K Following I make the toast of a bread situation. Still posting daily on Bluesky and mastodon
Pete Sinclair @pete_sinclair
10K Followers 431 Following Writer: Have I Got News For You; Mark Steel's In Town; What The F*** Is Going On?; Lead Balloon; Bad Move; Spitting Image. Political views are my own (or yours)
bob mortimer @RealBobMortimer
1.1M Followers 168 Following in our home, in our special drawer, we keep all the items we adore. in a sterilzed cabinet they are kept, and the surrounding environs are regularly swept
Eli Braden @EliBraden
51K Followers 2K Following Comedy / Music / Smiths Obsessive. Heard regularly on The Howard Stern Show. Also EMMY-NOMINATED TV PRODUCER (That’s My Jam, 2023) 😎
Rufus Hound @RufusHound
875K Followers 8 Following There's no decent people still on Twitter and here you are. The proof. Not actually Rufus Hound since 2023
Omid Djalili @omid9
361K Followers 4K Following NEXT TOUR SHOWS #Namste Check website for dates. LONDON PALLADIUM FEB 11th. Spy thriller Betrayal available on ITVX now.
Dan Rebellato is on B... @DanRebellato
17K Followers 2K Following world-renowned playwright and exotic dancer, formerly verified, never subscribing to Twitter Blue. @danrebellato.bsky.social see you there!
John O'Farrell @mrjohnofarrell
46K Followers 2K Following Not posting here any more for obvious reason - check out 🦋and Insta for writing tips. Will leave this dormant account here just in case he self destructs.
Henry @thishenryjames
1K Followers 519 Following A person. I tweet sporadically. Not worth a follow any more, honestly.
Adam Bloom @adambloomie2
7K Followers 193 Following Time Out Award winner (Best Stand-up) - Author of ‘Finding Your Comic Genius’ https://t.co/G5OS6jbTU6
Anjeanette Carter @anjeanettec
16K Followers 103 Following The Bread Board: Curated writing + marketing gigs that actually pay. Plus strategies to build your own client pipeline. 💰 7-figure copywriter & agency owner.
Sean Hughes @mr_seanhughes
36K Followers 27 Following Comedian, actor, writer and that sort of thing. Check out the podcast Under the radar with Sean Hughes. For all your delights go to https://t.co/PZYUhoHLDO
Charlie Baker 💛 @BakersTweet
19K Followers 2K Following SOLELY FOOTBALL CHAT ON HERE. instagram for everything else. Comedian/ Radio host. #TUFC .#NewYorkForever Egg Utd He/Him/His Rep @OfftheKerb Devonshire
Robert Webb @arobertwebb
442K Followers 345 Following Jez in Peep Show, Andrew in Back, Webb in Mitchell & Webb, author of How Not To Be a Boy and Come Again.
Stephen Merchant @StephenMerchant
587K Followers 355 Following Official Tweets from leggy blonde Stephen Merchant
Jimmy Carr @jimmycarr
5.8M Followers 476 Following Get tour tickets, watch my Netflix specials, listen to my Crowd Work podcast and more here 👇
fearne cotton @Fearnecotton
5.5M Followers 511 Following Mum/wife/Broadcaster/founder of happy place
Tim Minchin @timminchin
1.3M Followers 430 Following Songwriter singer pianist actor writer comedian producer speaker poet wanker reader runner worrier. Blue tick is an Elon freebie. 🗞https://t.co/iR2xxpJjJu
John Bishop @JohnBishop100
2.9M Followers 508 Following ‘25’ Arena Tour on sale NOW! 🎟️ Comedian. Husband. Dad. Animal lover.
Derren Brown @DerrenBrown
1.8M Followers 65 Following Prince of Eternia and Defender of the Secrets of Castle Grayskull. Dislikes mushrooms.
John Cleese @JohnCleese
5.1M Followers 220 Following Trainee hermit, & keen Amateur Squirrel Trainer
Eddie Izzard @eddieizzard
3.7M Followers 545 Following For all tickets & info: https://t.co/b4o99kMzq1
Funny Or Die @funnyordie
10.6M Followers 5K Following We only have two options in life. Full comedy videos on YouTube ⬇️
You might like
Essential Mastery
@EssentialMastry
712K Followers
Odyssey Golf Tour
@OdysseyGolfTour
35K Followers
𝗧𝘄𝗼𝗽 𝗧...
@TwopTwips
143K Followers
Pundamentalism
@Pundamentalism
90K Followers
cluedont
@cluedont
60K Followers
Lewis Leigh
@LewisLeigh3
2K Followers
Stephen Grant
@stephencgrant
16K Followers
Phil Young
@philyoungzero
4K Followers
Katherine Forster
@forster_k
12K Followers