Arantxa Colen @Notorious_AC
Elvis lover and Haribo connoisseur. Technophobe that struggles with mental arithmetic and finding hats that fit. Joined February 2012-
Tweets2K
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Following248
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Likes181
Five minutes of #BBUK became an hour. I'm trying to leave the room, but my IQ has dropped so low I'm just walking into the door like a moth.
Hey boy, are you a demonic possession? Because you make me want to put a cross in the box. #GE2015
Instructions for UKIP voters: 1. Write ‘X’ for the candidates you don’t like. 2. Leave UKIP box nice and white. 3. Don’t eat the pencil.
megaphones. With an empty road in front and behind, it looked like we were in convoy.. I've NEVER been more grateful to drive a black car.
Heading to work this morning, I got stuck behind two cars; both were covered in UKIP flags and stickers, and blasting out 'VOTE UKIP!' from
Being late for work because I spent half an hour trying to take a photo which How Old would say was under age 25, is a legit reason, right?
I don't know why the #RoyalBaby is such a big deal, I've just checked Facebook and there are LOADS of little princesses on there.
@SchrodiesCat Argh!! I'll be sleeping* with the light on for the foreseeable future! *lying in bed wide awake
@smile_of_decade Wow yes, that one was outstanding. Wasn't keen on the Witch Trial ep, but that aside they were all brilliant, so clever! x
Real Life got in the way of Twitter Life for a bit, but now I've caught up with #InsideNo9 I won't need to waste time EVER SLEEPING AGAIN.
After this build up, when the Royal Baby does come out it had better be juggling and riding a unicycle.
In olden days, people would catch a witch by going to their house for dinner, and seeing if they'd cooked exactly the right amount of worms.
What would a Pretenders tribute act call themselves?
To mark #NationalCleavageDay, C4 made a programme about a pair of tits.. Unfortunately, #thebattlefornumber10 accidentally aired last night.
TIM BURTON: I brought you a snack ME: What is it? TIM BURTON: A haunted pear ME: God damn it Tim
@TwitterUK @UpturnedBathtub Aww, darlin'! This makes me want to pinch your cheeks SO HARD. (Steady, not those cheeks). Well done you. xx
Jeremy Clarkson: Putting the 'b' into 'I wish I had something to eat'.
Moose Allain Ꙭ @MooseAllain
121K Followers 2K Following He/him. Illustrator, cartoonist, husband, father, son, brother, uncle, nephew, cousin, second cousin, grandson, friend, acquaintance, enemy. @[email protected]
Neil @_Enanem_
13K Followers 473 Following Good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good double, double good.
paul bassett davies @thewritertype
25K Followers 2K Following Read my novel DEAD WRITERS IN REHAB : https://t.co/MPYiVYghqt
Samuel West 💙💛 @exitthelemming
101K Followers 5K Following Often actor, sometimes director, always geek
Gary Delaney: On tour @GaryDelaney
107K Followers 2K Following One-liner comic. New tour Gary on Laughing is on the road.
Red The Rock Band @redprogrock1
79 Followers 529 Following RED - progressive pop-rock band from England..First single "Dreams I've Even Seen Elvis on his Motorbike" https://t.co/R7IYFnb5gV
Mike Yapley @mike_yapley
6 Followers 178 Following Big head, small face. Owner of the car supermarket on the A47.
Mark James Peters @MarkJamesPeter1
25 Followers 919 Following
Isabel lindolfo @IsabelLindolfo
8 Followers 382 Following
Nicky Harris @NickyHa45515544
1 Followers 4 Following
TheCWHotspur🐓⚽�... @CliveWilliams20
852 Followers 2K Following Tottenham Til I Die! Comedy is king, THE Ledley King, happy is as happy does!
Moth @MothQuotes
4 Followers 74 Following We are Moths. We are unique beautiful creatures. We always get overshadowed wanting to be butterfly's, but not anymore... #WeAreMoths
Kevin @WelshSpur07
4K Followers 5K Following Tottenham season ticket holder, soft spot for Newport, music, politics. Road to nowhere. https://t.co/OkyKzvcYHy
Elena @quello111
34 Followers 170 Following
stone tts @tts_stone
75 Followers 1K Following
FreedomBeautyTruth❤... @FBTLuk
126 Followers 714 Following We make awesome and funny cards, you buy them, the world becomes a better place! We also offer bespoke design for web and print, [email protected]
itwontbeeasy @FitnessStruggl1
30 Followers 177 Following Its not about loosing weight it's about becoming happy and healthy
Pantalooney @sweetballs101
163 Followers 3K Following Wobbly bits & womanly ways of weirdness. Views are my own.
Edd Notman @everreadyeddy
436 Followers 3K Following gonna live for ever (well 150) and love every moment
BlinkDakotaBlink @dakota_blink
11 Followers 124 Following Badge Maker, Media Designer, Photographer, Painter, music addict & devotee of good coffee, bad company & ugly music [email protected]
marchpinesaue @marchpinesaue
42 Followers 1K Following
Terry @5BlueNed
522 Followers 1K Following A fine judge of cheap alcohol. Ex bullfighter, olympic swimmer and professional dancer. Liar. Bit of a tosser really.Scott Johnston @johnstonscott
54 Followers 951 Following
Cal @calze14
158 Followers 1K Following
Paul O'Reilly @PaulO80
100 Followers 644 Following
On The Rug @On_the_Rug
158 Followers 2K Following
m4rkh @m4rkhh
442 Followers 1K Following Old personal account. Occasional posts. Come see me at @markcbh instead 😊
Steve @Disappointedltd
148 Followers 461 Following
Melissa Johnson @bella__mela
1K Followers 3K Following vintage pickle, football whinge, tiki tinker, cricket and darts div, journalism person, internal comms manager and practitioner. MCIPR. SAFC.
Nirmal Pandey @Nirmal2241990
35 Followers 787 Following
John Brennan @UpturnedBathtub
10K Followers 1K Following
James Campbell @theonionlives
1K Followers 2K Following Got called a traitor for reading Marx once, by an ole fella reading the s*n. Irony that. Up the reds #jft97
Max Griffiths @maxcgriffiths
25 Followers 155 Following Football. Bwfc. Family. Charity. Bolton. Tanzania. Norwich. Not necessarily in that order.
Lucas Hall @lucashall23
51 Followers 208 Following Sports, guns, trucks and my wife @brookehall85 who loves them too
Andy Morrison @morrisona1964
232 Followers 432 Following Carlisle Utd, Horse Racing, Cricket, Cycling, Family, Dogs, Wildlife, Life. In no particular order. Retired. Ex Railway Signaller. #MDANT
Jo @crazyjosk8
312 Followers 487 Following I love My Boy Bez 🐎❤️Love fun & fair play, love my family & theres a lot of them lol. Live on the beautiful Isle of Anglesey 'Lucky Me'
Tor @ms_tor
694 Followers 2K Following Financial regulation nerd by day. FFC fan weekends & evenings. Seemingly random tweets are likely matchday-related. Hates seagulls. She/her. Views own etc.
Lemon Drizzle Snake @OatmealTriliums
102 Followers 485 Following
Jo Hurd @Joanne_Hurd
143 Followers 635 Following
Andy Turner @andydjturner
63 Followers 868 Following My wife and kids are my world, with Arsenal keeping the pressure on! Tax guy, cyclist and professional faffer.Brendan Wignall @BrendanWignall
11 Followers 393 Following LFC. Not tweeting in an official capacity (see @ellesmerecoll for that). Retweets do not denote approval. Cats.
LeuvenRich @LeuvenRich
357 Followers 615 Following British/Belgian dual national living in Leuven, Belgium, my wife and sons, #disco, and studying for an #MBA keep me busy.
sixthformpoet @sixthformpoet
184K Followers 2K Following Please buy my book, I owe people money. enquiries: [email protected]
Moose Allain Ꙭ @MooseAllain
121K Followers 2K Following He/him. Illustrator, cartoonist, husband, father, son, brother, uncle, nephew, cousin, second cousin, grandson, friend, acquaintance, enemy. @[email protected]
Neil @_Enanem_
13K Followers 473 Following Good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good, good double, double good.
GlennyRodge @GlennyRodge
24K Followers 1K Following Screenwriter, comedian, actor, socialist and model. These are words. As are custard, trumpet, wardrobe, trousers and dandelion.
Danny Wallace @dannywallace
175K Followers 1K Following Writer & Presenter United/3Arts "The Important Broadcast" podcast // Radio X
Tim Burgess @Tim_Burgess
277K Followers 805 Following Charlatan, solo artist, DJ, producer, Merch Market guy, coffee drinker, author and an Aria Award winning radio presenter.
Michael Spicer @MrMichaelSpicer
437K Followers 2K Following If I've DM'd you or blocked you I'm sorry that wasn't me. I was hacked. Listen to my show 'No Room' on BBC Radio 4. I'm on tour. I didn't pay for my checkmark.
Caitlin Moran @caitlinmoran
740K Followers 3K Following On tour this June, talking about What About Men? Tickets: https://t.co/r8gQ0nmexD
Richard K Herring @Herring1967
250K Followers 1K Following I am logging out of Twitter (call it by its name). You can find me here https://t.co/o99lzhO1Xj
Quite Interesting @qikipedia
1.1M Followers 899 Following A Quite Interesting Twitter feed from the team behind the BBC TV show QI. https://t.co/1JWvBwO1PN
Sue Perkins 💙 @sueperkins
1.1M Followers 403 Following Mutton dressed as mutton. NETFLIX SERIES #perfectlylegal streaming worldwide now. PODCAST: https://t.co/wYRb9dO28G
Tokyo Sexwhale @tokyosexwhale
19K Followers 907 Following IIllustrator | Commissions: [email protected]
Arena Flowers @ArenaFlowers
33K Followers 4K Following A story in flowers, from the UK’s most ethical flower company.
paul bassett davies @thewritertype
25K Followers 2K Following Read my novel DEAD WRITERS IN REHAB : https://t.co/MPYiVYghqt
Nick Harvey @mrnickharvey
51K Followers 751 Following I write music for TV so you don’t have to. Baskerville’s dad. Paul’s son. Ember’s accompanist.
@TheShakespeareMindse... @DaveCohencomedy
6K Followers 581 Following Improve your life the bard way not the hard way.
Andy Dawson @profanityswan
51K Followers 2K Following Participant in @AthleticoMince @TFTimeMachine and @unseriousdarts. My life is well within its usual frame.
David Shrigley @davidshrigley
90K Followers 118 Following 197cm tall. Artist. Likes pens, rulers, etc.
Joe West @joejwest
13K Followers 437 Following Writer. Joke tweeter. https://t.co/WVkWZsupkn https://t.co/kh9WCaUaBM
We Want Plates 🍽 @WeWantPlates
127K Followers 1 Following The global crusade against serving food on bits of wood and roof slates, chips in mugs and jam-jar drinks. Buy the book: https://t.co/6hLuaCJKUU
ceej @ceejoyner
38K Followers 259 Following
Summer Ray @SummerRay
31K Followers 1K Following voiceover/writer/illustrator/absolute joke. https://t.co/nwwRcZusqj
John Brennan @UpturnedBathtub
10K Followers 1K Following
mike ginn @shutupmikeginn
186K Followers 1K Following writer/producer/poster DM for a photo of my most recent meal
Enough Of That Now @AndyGilder
6K Followers 2K Following This account is not subscribed to Twitter Blue and has been verified by your mum
Tits McGee @Scientits
29K Followers 786 Following Your tweets may be monitored for quality and training purposes. Bluesky: @scientits.bsky.social Instagram: Scientabs
Susie Dent @susie_dent
999K Followers 808 Following That woman in Dictionary Corner. @susiedent.bsky.social
Unfinished Scripts @UnfinishedS
18K Followers 0 Following I have trouble getting past the first page. All of these are written by @gavinspeiller
Tim Minchin @timminchin
1.3M Followers 430 Following Songwriter singer pianist actor writer comedian producer speaker poet wanker reader runner worrier. Blue tick is an Elon freebie. 🗞https://t.co/iR2xxpJjJu
TONY Law @mrTonyLaw
24K Followers 1K Following https://t.co/y4SJwBysT4 Edinburgh award nominee, 6 time chortle, amused moose,
Hal Cruttenden @Halcruttenden
45K Followers 992 Following Stand up comedian, actor and writer, whose new tour starts in September 2025. I’m hcruttenden on Instagram and Hal Cruttenden on Facebook
John @casioroee
1K Followers 243 Following This account is in no way affiliated or associated with @casioroee
VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish
3.5M Followers 1 Following New book: A Very British Midlife Crisis, out now! For everything VBP, visit: https://t.co/51E7az46a4 Written by @RobTemple101
PEDRO @pedronewmano
15 Followers 316 Following
Sarah Lowe @shlowe84
15 Followers 168 Following
Rosie And Archie @rosieandarchie
31 Followers 32 Following Copyright protected.Rosie and Archie started as one off drawings from a father to his little girl.Now trying to get story's published for every child to enjoy.
Sweary Mary @missprofanity
13K Followers 637 Following Welcome aboard the profanity train. If you're easily offended, please feel free to fuck off at the next stop.
Ed Townend @eotownend
161 Followers 595 Following this is my bio, there are many like it, but this one is mine.
Scott Jordan Harris @ScottFilmCritic
11K Followers 873 Following Author of Rosebud Sleds and Horses' Heads: 50 of Film's Most Evocative Objects. Telegraph blogger. On BBC Radio 4. Roger Ebert's UK correspondent.
rodgernash @rodgernash
2K Followers 826 Following I wanted to be a rent boy, but nobody would let me.
Qunt Magazine @Qunt_Magazine
3K Followers 34 Following Delivering the culture straight into your stupid brains
Lorraine Pascale @lorrainepascale
285K Followers 423 Following Researching how to deepen emotional connection in relationships And walking the runways of the world.
Dave Kirkwood @Dave_Kirkwood
4K Followers 90 Following About the place. Solport Studio. Swimming Through Leaves.
Bec Hill @bechillcomedian
45K Followers 4K Following The one with the flipcharts. Comedian, TV presenter, author, co-host of @aproblemsquared, and all-round cool dude. She/They. Non-followers muted
David Icke @davidicke
826K Followers 285 Following Ground-breaking Author & Public Speaker. Brand New Book ‘The Road Map’ Now - LINK BELOW. Watch Films and Series - https://t.co/yPK7NrR17Z
sweaty five dollars @iscoff
14K Followers 535 Following I am an Online Man full of DIGITAL SUGGESTIONS. getting dumber all the tjme
Ben @Higglebees
3K Followers 18 Following Home of the #pinbadgeclub subscription box, art, pins, plushies and more! [email protected] ˙ᵕ˙
Danny Dyer @MrDDyer
1.0M Followers 623 Following The World according to Danny Dyer. 'Life lessons from the East End' https://t.co/iLuiUjvJH2 This account is managed by Danny and his representatives.
Lisa Edwards @Lise181
44 Followers 288 Following Lover of music, chili con carne & admirer of wittiness. Wine drinker, yet disappointingly a lightweight at it. Owner of a pair of wellies.
Luke Vandore-Mackay @LukeMackayCooks
5K Followers 2K Following Murdo, Sula, Skye’s dad. Founded @bromptonfoodmkt & @highgrangedevon. Usually cooking on 🔥 ‘Mackay is an unusual animal' Fay Maschler. Mr @happyprojectldn
Daily Mail Comments @BestoftheMail
62K Followers 922 Following Highlighting the bizarre and terrifying comments found in the Mail comment section. Parody.
Chase Mitchell @ChaseMit
82K Followers 3K Following I write for TV and pick up my dog’s shit with a little bag.
DJs Complaining @DJsComplaining
55K Followers 0 Following





















