Tori Fletcher @hellotorifletch
Honestly, if it were “raining men” Hallelujah wouldn’t be the word that came to mind | Part Antagonist, Part Protagonist | Usually Making Fun of my Husband Manhattan, NY Joined November 2018-
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Followers10K
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Following11K
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Likes61K
I saw someone say she’s riff raff for lesbians and I can’t stop thinking about it
I saw someone say she’s riff raff for lesbians and I can’t stop thinking about it
The key to Taylor’s success is that she absolutely lives to get revenge.
It's kind of incredible to me how many people will look at a hugely popular book or movie or musician and instead of saying "huh, not really for me, I guess I just don't get it" they jump straight to "ugh I guess I am just More Intelligent Than Everybody Else"
My husband: “What could Taylor Swift possibly sing about that relates to your life?” Taylor: “I cry a lot, but I am so productive, it’s an art.” Me:
Update: Taylor wrote TWO entirely new albums. I stand corrected.
Update: Taylor wrote TWO entirely new albums. I stand corrected.
the funniest thing about new taylor swift albums is how I never actively learn the new lyrics they all just sort of absorb into my brain and 2 days later I can recite them a capella without even thinking
Nothing makes me feel quite as old as Survivor contestants saying they’ve been watching the show since birth.
Have you tried not sleeping about it?
Do you mean to tell me that Taylor Swift was simultaneously on a world tour, in a new relationship, at every Chiefs game, re-recorded Reputation AND found time to write an entirely new album meanwhile I can’t even unload the dishwasher & start the laundry all in the same day?
It's a big day for dead murderers.
prior authorizations from insurance companies should be illegal. These decisions should be between a doctor and patient. And maybe the people we vote for should make this a thing that happens.
eating your lunch in your car at work is the adult version of the high school bathroom stall.
I think it would be ok if we stopped talking about OJ now.
Me: *** At the DMV *** DMV: “It looks like we are missing your great grandparents original marriage certificate and your full transcript from all four years of high school…”
I’ve recently decided that men who trade in their middle aged wives for younger women aren’t looking for youth, they are looking for compliance.
Rudy Huxtable is 45 years old today, in case anyone would like to feel elderly.
I always used to wonder why middle-aged women were so angry all the time. Now I'm a middle-aged woman and I'm like oh this is why
There is truly no bigger flex than being complimented by a drunk 23 year old woman in a dive bar bathroom.
Pink hair for my midlife crisis meltdown.
I hope Princess Kate has a full recovery — and can't help but just reflect on how poorly served she's been by the Palace's PR team. They let speculation & rumors run rampant for weeks....and then threw a cancer patient w/ young kids under the bus for a photo manipulation screwup!
charles entertainment.. @jmurffff
19K Followers 1K Following
Hannah Grieco @writesloud
26K Followers 7K Following writer, editor, prof. non-zionist Jew. your twitter mom. i love you, okay? 🌈 she/her
Audrey Burges @Audrey_Burges
8K Followers 5K Following Author, A HOUSE LIKE AN ACCORDION (2024) & THE MINUSCULE MANSION OF MYRA MALONE (2023); scribbler of humor, flash, & pretty flowers; thinks you're awesome
Max Gross ☻ @maxgotjokes
18K Followers 2K Following Headlines @Reductress, features @TheOnion. Words @Slate @Autostraddle and more. The nation’s foremost scholar on “And Just Like That.” He/him
limp brittzkit @Brittymigs
19K Followers 2K Following she/her. just a little snail girl trying to get by. @meatcats @reductress @cracked mgmt: [email protected]
Solidarity with Colum.. @OrangeFreddyG
9K Followers 4K Following Never gonna have a blue check, always gonna be real. Standup Comic and Leftist. 45 million views on Social Media. History Pod⬇️
Allie Larkin @AllieLarkin
11K Followers 9K Following Author of STAY, WHY CAN'T I BE YOU, SWIMMING FOR SUNLIGHT, and THE PEOPLE WE KEEP (@GalleryBooks 2021) she/her IG: https://t.co/lWY2nkrgoo…
Matthew Levy @MattLevy51
14K Followers 14K Following Stand up comic. Sketch maker. Newsletter writer. Married to @annaphilomena. Crouton appreciator. Writes profiles. Check Medium link below and DM if interested.
Iris✨ @Jest_Iris
18K Followers 2K Following out of pocket bc my pants don't have any NYC Comedian Writer Gamer Jewish af IG: jest.iris | words in @Reductress & @HardDriveMag featured in @adweek
Arielle Dundas @ArielleDundas
14K Followers 4K Following My niche is that I’m funny and I have interesting opinions. She/her. Stardew valley streamer. ADHD. typos are part of my brand.
Jennifer Begakis @jenbegakis
11K Followers 3K Following Begakis is fun to say. historian of capitalism finance & Disney. Ph.D. Candidate @Cornell | @UCBerkeley alumni. the opinions & jokes expressed are my own NFTs.
Sarah Dutcher @itssarahdutcher
5K Followers 1K Following certified california junior ranger (she/her). stupid sense of humor but interesting takes. Frodo Baggins stan account. tip jar open IG @itssarahdutcher
Double J Cox 🦓 @jocelynjanecox
6K Followers 4K Following Essays, Humor, CNF ✍: @press_roi @SlackjawHumor @The_Belladonnas @havehadhavehad @chillsubs @penn_review @roanokereview @FiveMinuteLit @Slate @Nytimes, MFA
chase @_chase_____
12K Followers 1K Following girl writer | associate editor @reductress | writing in @newyorkerhumor @mcsweeneys | https://t.co/ywCjXok4HX | she/her
Destiny Allegedly @DestinyHarHar
4K Followers 2K Following 28 she/her. Publicly unhinged for eternity ♉️☀️♌️🌙♊️⬆️
Abby Alten Schwartz @abbys480
5K Followers 3K Following Healthcare writer. Freelance journalist. Essayist. Bylines @washingtonpost @nytimes @WIRED @HuffPost & more. #binders Memoir rep’d by @trinitygr
Brittany Terwilliger @Brttnyblm
7K Followers 4K Following Author of THE INSATIABLES from @ChiReviewPress, Managing Editor at @pitheadchapel, Tin House alum, from the rural Midwest, she/her, No DMs please
Eva13 @Eva13395378
26 Followers 2K Following
TinaBarton @BmTPBU3UJ5y1v
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Pedane @Pedane11797
30 Followers 2K Following
keanu Reeves @Reeve47331
26 Followers 427 Following My goal is to relate peacefully with my supporters on this platform while upholding 100% respect for each and everyone's support of my works❤️
Dawda Kujabi @kujabidawda622
124 Followers 1K Following May Allah SWT make it easy for all the Muslims ☪️
Michael morrone @Michaelmor10136
210 Followers 682 Following
ALi SELAH HASAN @lysalhlawy
72 Followers 487 Following
matty 🤍 (in my Tou.. @matalynnt
655 Followers 522 Following romantic, but in an eighteenth century art movement kind of way.
Rick Richards @RickRichards10
353 Followers 2K Following
Jennifer Frankum @jennysniffer
771 Followers 2K Following Co-winner of the 2019 William Wilfred Campbell Poetry Contest. Two poetry books in print. Pushcart nom. “The Position of My Heart” available April 2024.
Reserved Rodent @Reserved_Rodent
196 Followers 4K Following
The Card @JaggedAuthor
2K Followers 2K Following Creator of a depressing comic strip. Liver of a depressing life. Writer of depressing bios.
Sweepstakes winners @SWinners985
21 Followers 257 Following
Jenny Mac @jennifermac22
2K Followers 2K Following Equally delightful in real life. #SeniorSwiftie #folklore #Kindness #Equality #Cats #GenX
Melissa @MizMama19
311 Followers 399 Following Sask Roughrider & Detroit Red Wing fan. Pop Culture & Live Music Junkie. Love hot days and cold beer. Genuinely Curious.
CarolBlanchardParks @DallasCarol
5K Followers 6K Following Proud Liberal, Politics & Current Events, Love Art, Learning, Laughing, Speaking Italian, All Animals, Gardening, Sunny days, a Psychotherapist & an Artist.
Action Jackson @mackeysasser
6K Followers 7K Following he/him BlackLivesMatter her body? her fucking choice republicans are not "election deniers". they're fascists. our kids are worth more than nra donations.
Susie Aybar @saybar12
1K Followers 1K Following @TinyMolecules, @nationalflashfd, @Heroin_Chic_Mag, @oneartpoetry1 @thetwinbill
Elon Musk @elonmusk36289
20 Followers 1K Following 🐦 CEO/MNG 🚀 I SpaceX CEO & СТО 🚘 | Tesla CEO & Creator 👽 | Осcupy MARS 🪐 I Multiplanetary Life 🔮 I Hyperloop Founder 👇 I Build A7-Fig IG Business
McBollea @BolleaMc85565
21 Followers 2K Following
mapsandkeys💛 @mapsandkeys
983 Followers 2K Following Black. Femme Queer. Textbook Scorpio. she/her/hers. Graduated high school in 1998, you do the math. #KHive.
ireadivote @ireadivote
1K Followers 3K Following In spite of X I'm back. Threads is fine but not this. Thank you for being what you are here. I am still in awe of the collective brainpower. #VoteBlue
Felix @Felix1374027
282 Followers 5K Following To be prepared against surprise is to be trained. To be prepared for surprise is to be educated. 🎎🎐 Facts do not fall in the face of discomfort 🌗
stone cold kumquat @kumquattomy
22 Followers 110 Following caught in an unexpected cycle of do-goodery - send help
Mahnoor Siddique, MPH @pardonmycarbs
90 Followers 252 Following 🍎 MPH Nutrition @tulane Helping you reach your health goals 🎯 A little bit of life, a lot more nutrition ✨ 🎓 Fulbright Scholar
Betoufa @betoufa58747
62 Followers 2K Following
Run to Explore👣™.. @cherylsp_
3K Followers 3K Following 💙SHCA LTH 🕵🏼♀️FP Insp 🧭NNAS Silver 🏃Run 🥾Hike 🚵♀️Bike 🏋🏼♀️lift 🌿Moors 🌳Trails ⛰️Hills 📍Yorks/Lancs 🏵Unmistakably Yorkshire 🪽winging it
DAWKINS DAILY-ROCKETS.. @Dawkins19Donna
178 Followers 448 Following
Einstein1893 @mycopara1904
896 Followers 1K Following Ret. Police Detective/SWAT medic /Narcotics at AG office/Med-Surg Nurse, left handed guitar player born raised Brooklyn NY USMC NAVY NO DM NO PORN
Neighth @Neighth178547
47 Followers 2K Following
Ty Whalin @LinkWorxSeo
2K Followers 5K Following U.S.N., UMUC Foreign Language, CFCC A.S., Rasmussen A.S.
Md Salman @MdSalman1884238
28 Followers 303 Following
TomsTreasureTrove @doesitr59114973
754 Followers 2K Following SBO, Online store, eBay seller 1A, 2A Back The Blue, family full of Vets, T2T, Republican, Conservative believe in women’s choice. Dementia Joe has Gotta Go
Jeff Briggs @regulater9
2K Followers 2K Following Consigliere, golfer, freedom advocate, proud Navy Jr, Ski U Mah alum, helLA escapist, regulator of bad behavior, Roger Maris fan. Team Sanity. CAVU, baby 🇺🇸
Megan McCuistion @MeganMcCuistion
454 Followers 259 Following Mom and wife with a city gov career • Fluent in toddler
El Conquistador @JDPerrine2213
132 Followers 212 Following Nurse practitioner, former Special Forces medic, Airborne Ranger, OH-58 pilot 🏴☠️🏁🇺🇸 Fan of @ScuderiaFerrari and @BuffaloBills. Pro-nouns: Deez/Dem
Tina Moricz @MrsMoricz
2K Followers 4K Following Wife, Jedi Teacher, Book Lover and Tech Lover, Food Allergy Sufferer, Parent to Two Crazy Puppies *Member of #bookblazers
Sophie Vershbow @svershbow
51K Followers 9K Following Writer: @nymag @esquire @nytimes, etc. Head of Influencer Mkt: @eventbrite. Formerly in publishing. Mostly tweeting dogs & books. She/her. Opinions my own.
rachel syme @rachsyme
142K Followers 9K Following woman about town. staff writer @newyorker. also: writing a book for @aaknopf + a coffee table book for @penguinrandom. away from here, mostly.
charles entertainment.. @jmurffff
19K Followers 1K Following
Hannah Grieco @writesloud
26K Followers 7K Following writer, editor, prof. non-zionist Jew. your twitter mom. i love you, okay? 🌈 she/her
Audrey Burges @Audrey_Burges
8K Followers 5K Following Author, A HOUSE LIKE AN ACCORDION (2024) & THE MINUSCULE MANSION OF MYRA MALONE (2023); scribbler of humor, flash, & pretty flowers; thinks you're awesome
Max Gross ☻ @maxgotjokes
18K Followers 2K Following Headlines @Reductress, features @TheOnion. Words @Slate @Autostraddle and more. The nation’s foremost scholar on “And Just Like That.” He/him
limp brittzkit @Brittymigs
19K Followers 2K Following she/her. just a little snail girl trying to get by. @meatcats @reductress @cracked mgmt: [email protected]
Solidarity with Colum.. @OrangeFreddyG
9K Followers 4K Following Never gonna have a blue check, always gonna be real. Standup Comic and Leftist. 45 million views on Social Media. History Pod⬇️
Allie Larkin @AllieLarkin
11K Followers 9K Following Author of STAY, WHY CAN'T I BE YOU, SWIMMING FOR SUNLIGHT, and THE PEOPLE WE KEEP (@GalleryBooks 2021) she/her IG: https://t.co/lWY2nkrgoo…
Matthew Levy @MattLevy51
14K Followers 14K Following Stand up comic. Sketch maker. Newsletter writer. Married to @annaphilomena. Crouton appreciator. Writes profiles. Check Medium link below and DM if interested.
Iris✨ @Jest_Iris
18K Followers 2K Following out of pocket bc my pants don't have any NYC Comedian Writer Gamer Jewish af IG: jest.iris | words in @Reductress & @HardDriveMag featured in @adweek
Lilly Dancyger @lillydancyger
26K Followers 3K Following author of First Love and Negative Space NOT ACTIVE HERE ANYMORE. FIND ME AT: https://t.co/4aAHIkPLmm https://t.co/BNZcJ5fVxe
Arielle Dundas @ArielleDundas
14K Followers 4K Following My niche is that I’m funny and I have interesting opinions. She/her. Stardew valley streamer. ADHD. typos are part of my brand.
Jennifer Begakis @jenbegakis
11K Followers 3K Following Begakis is fun to say. historian of capitalism finance & Disney. Ph.D. Candidate @Cornell | @UCBerkeley alumni. the opinions & jokes expressed are my own NFTs.
Sarah Dutcher @itssarahdutcher
5K Followers 1K Following certified california junior ranger (she/her). stupid sense of humor but interesting takes. Frodo Baggins stan account. tip jar open IG @itssarahdutcher
Double J Cox 🦓 @jocelynjanecox
6K Followers 4K Following Essays, Humor, CNF ✍: @press_roi @SlackjawHumor @The_Belladonnas @havehadhavehad @chillsubs @penn_review @roanokereview @FiveMinuteLit @Slate @Nytimes, MFA
chase @_chase_____
12K Followers 1K Following girl writer | associate editor @reductress | writing in @newyorkerhumor @mcsweeneys | https://t.co/ywCjXok4HX | she/her
Destiny Allegedly @DestinyHarHar
4K Followers 2K Following 28 she/her. Publicly unhinged for eternity ♉️☀️♌️🌙♊️⬆️
Abby Alten Schwartz @abbys480
5K Followers 3K Following Healthcare writer. Freelance journalist. Essayist. Bylines @washingtonpost @nytimes @WIRED @HuffPost & more. #binders Memoir rep’d by @trinitygr
andré @andredecorating
59 Followers 282 Following amante de transporte público, músico casual, de fato autista (ele)
Sophia A @sophia__says
170 Followers 180 Following Christian | Baker | Person in need of sunshine, flowers, and lots of grace.
Rebecca Lynn @_rebecca_la
71 Followers 64 Following Jesus / Youth Group / Retail / Probably Autistic. Twitter is where I post the things Facebook and Instagram might not care about.
Eliza Black 🔥 @AuthorElizaB
3K Followers 319 Following Spicy small town romance and dark romance author. Proofreading @greenproofreads. Level 31. #writingcommunity #romance #nsfw 🔞
Nicole Fallon @nicolefallonNY
943 Followers 1K Following no niche, lots of nuance. 🧠 👩💻LCSW / Macro SW ⚖️ / T1D Mom / Awkward Human… ✍🏻 views are my own & are subject to change.
molly 💐 (taylor’.. @_mollypop_17
863 Followers 2K Following Just trying to share God's love with others. 😊 OC Alumnus | dude I’m just here to play spades
John-Uh Harris ☀️ @johnnarae
6K Followers 2K Following fighting for goodness and truth in the Church on @bbtbpod • story submissions must go through [email protected] “be curious, not judgmental”
Anna @agentbrowniac
225 Followers 485 Following sci-fi fan. coffee enthusiast. postdoctoral research associate in housing. mum to 3 loud children. geriatric swiftie. vestibular migraine/pppd recovery. she/her
Jen @jenberg81
327 Followers 209 Following Mom, social worker, 420/yoga lady who’s done giving any f*cks for stupid nonsense. #TogetherWeCanStayTogether. Survivor.
madeline odent @oldenoughtosay
45K Followers 2K Following chaos feed. heritage, museums, old buildings, social justice. 🏴🇺🇸🏳️🌈. sea witch, professional gargoyle, teller of tales. (she/her)
Matt Rindge @mattrindge
2K Followers 2K Following Professor of Bible & Film @GonzagaU Author https://t.co/hgy6J0Y2Vc https://t.co/84wldCBelh Novelist (seeking rep) Short horror stories Actor - Dreamin’ Wild
Veronica 🏇🏇🏇 @VeronicaRossM
661 Followers 836 Following a quiet screenwriter 🌺 she/her 🎞🎥 filming my first short film
Courtney Lauck @courtneyalauck
57 Followers 72 Following Writer, Sommelier, Lover of Esoterica. 33. Lesbian. Joined a while ago but just now utilizing my account. WGA Supporter.
deanna mcdonald @deannagmcdonald
6K Followers 756 Following views are my own unless they are retweets. those are somebody else's.
The Dagsobah System @melissadags
2K Followers 2K Following Director of the film Mother of All Shows, creator of film/tv/theatre, actor, host, co-founder of https://t.co/bjbkZhUWRU. Tweets/thoughts are my own. She/Her
syd’s potato chip o.. @TheDailyScowl
271 Followers 2K Following • overachieving chronic procrastinator • writer • (she/her) • 🇨🇺 • IG: @/apileofunpublishedwriting
Sue❤🇨🇦 @Emsrsue
71K Followers 23K Following Proud mom and professional suitcase packer. Exploring the world one adventure at a time.
Maureen Wink @mau_nj
177 Followers 1K Following east coaster in another life, California resident. lover of wine and dogs and technology and books and curling (she/her)
Tina Moricz @MrsMoricz
2K Followers 4K Following Wife, Jedi Teacher, Book Lover and Tech Lover, Food Allergy Sufferer, Parent to Two Crazy Puppies *Member of #bookblazers
Shirily @Girl_B
174 Followers 1K Following I can revise to “I have two hamsters” which might make it sound less like an illness and more like a party.
Tim Yocum @Tim_Yocum
3K Followers 3K Following #Photographer | #Farmer | #GoGators | #KennyPride | #Parrothead “It takes no more time to see the good side of life than the bad” – @JimmyBuffett
Krissi Diers @duchesskrissi
733 Followers 2K Following IA to NYC to Land of 10,000 Lakes | Love marketing Broadway tours | Cheering on the Cubs, Bears & UNI | Telling my corgi he’s the cutest | Folding in the cheese
Patrick Whittle @pxwhittle
8K Followers 4K Following @AP reporter covering environment, oceans and fisheries. Before: @Newsday, @HeraldTribune & @NHRegister. @Marist alum. Proud @APNewsGuild member.
Etta Martin @ettasmartin
362 Followers 1K Following Northerner, tried to be a Londoner, ended up in Edinburgh.
Megan McCuistion @MeganMcCuistion
454 Followers 259 Following Mom and wife with a city gov career • Fluent in toddler
Whitney 🍓 ݁ ˖๋.. @wbourgou
135 Followers 85 Following
Exhausted Millenial @hvnknowswetried
28 Followers 325 Following Lurking amongst the dregs of Elon’s new twitter. No tweets from me anymore.
scarr_reads 😻 @scarr_reads
201 Followers 792 Following they/them coffee cats books films, Judy Cuevas superfan ✡️ unruly builder of nothing https://t.co/OcprNe3XxP
Dr. Hilarie Ashton @HilarieAshton
2K Followers 5K Following @CUNYGradCenter PhD: Ronettes, Chiffons, Shangri-Las, gender shenanigans. @CourtWatchNYC. Tattoos; boxing. Bylines: NYT, NPR, Elec Lit, LARB &c. She/her. #BLM
Gabrielle @gabrielleren_
76 Followers 146 Following should have burned this place down when I had the chance
Dan Walden @dwaldenwrites
8K Followers 1K Following Philologist, critic, choir geek, opera queen. Bylines @commonwealmag @Gawker @Plough, and elsewhere. Go Blue 〽️ ☧ ☭ 🏳️🌈 hē/ille/ὁ/स:
Alexis Gelber @AlexisGelber
3K Followers 3K Following Adjunct Professor @NYU_Journalism. Former EIC, Straus News Manhattan: @OurTownNYC, @WestSideSpirit, @Chelsea_News_NY, @OTDowntown.
Amy L. Myers @thewidow21
1K Followers 1K Following poker girl, pittsburgh native, former penn state athlete & '91 grad, sports junkie, animal lover #drinkCocaCola #SunshineStateIsHome
Kathy Flores @flore1742
4 Followers 12 FollowingCharity theft half marathon girlie won't see your posts decrying her behavior, but your rule-following, type-A, oldest daughter friends will and they will absolutely hype you up for being right and correct
my students finding my little anonymous message link on here & sending me messages like this? my heart, they’re my heart.
It's 88 degrees in Central Pennsylvania in April and my kids are splashing in their wading pool but hey I'm sure the current plan of doing essentially nothing about climate change will be lots of fun and the rest of the summer will be fab!!!!!
I saw someone say she’s riff raff for lesbians and I can’t stop thinking about it
i’m so fascinated by this hideous dance move jojo siwa keeps doing that i had to make a montage of it
I see you made yourself comfortable.
Allergy meds are so funny, they’re like here’s an antihistamine, you can take it like this or for an extra fee we will add a tiny bit of meth
Walter is very unhappy about the fact that I’m not letting him outside right now.
Moms in TV ads are almost always wearing this exact outfit and yet I’ve never seen a human woman wear this outfit in real life.
millennials went SO HARD when we were like “but first coffee.” may be cringe but it’s timeless and true, 10/10, no notes
Yayyyyyyyy! 1st assignment for Big magazine. 😎
"i would have died for your sins, instead i just died inside." TAYLOR ALISON SWIFT writing this after being ghosted by MATTY HEALY is so embarassing and it's why i will never stop listening because i unfortunately understand.
Not surprised about Boomers, many of whom who were already yelling at us in the 90s for protesting when they’d spent the 60s as radicals - but to see my fellow Gen Xers, who protested the WTO and the Iraq War, say our biggest problem is woke students on campus? Man, it sucks
We are supposed to have the boys' photos taken this afternoon and my 3yo decided to play the Monster Eating Baby's Face game with the 11mo and the 11mo now has a hickey on his cheek and I could not make this up if I tried
Public restroom mirrors be like, "did you think you looked cute while out and about? Well would you care to be Humbled?"
The smile of someone who just signed a deal that is going to change their life. More soon. 😎
The key to Taylor’s success is that she absolutely lives to get revenge.
oh shit do we think the manuscript is about john mayer
It's kind of incredible to me how many people will look at a hugely popular book or movie or musician and instead of saying "huh, not really for me, I guess I just don't get it" they jump straight to "ugh I guess I am just More Intelligent Than Everybody Else"
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