Millennial Falcon @1stIssues
26 year old hippy goth nerd, here to make song references, bad puns, and release some of the gremlins running around in my head🤙 Joined October 2019-
Tweets286
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Followers44
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Following283
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Likes910
Millennial Falcon retweeted
10 is trying to negotiate a later bedtime and just told me he thinks we treat him unfairly because we make him “sleep too much” and I just wish someone would treat *me* that unfairly.
*Hanging out with a guy* Me: Do you like Fall Out Boy? Him: I don't know what that is My emo heart just broke #SugarWeveGoneDown
I love when some random chick starts to go off about someone mistreating her in a public bathroom or something and all the women in a 5 mile radius are like "Girrrrlllllll what he do"
Millennial Falcon retweeted
I think the world is ready for a Hogwarts TV series about a random Hufflepuff student who solves the occasional murder but mostly hangs out in the common room cozily knitting and eating pastries knicked from the kitchen whilst rain lashes the tower windows.
Trying to teach the kids I nanny the balance of "Do no harm, but take no shit" is a minefield ("Shrewd as serpents, and harmless as doves," anyone?)
Me: "Maybe (bully) will learn that doing being nice is more satisfying." 8yr old I nanny: "Violence is satisfying." Me: 😳 8yr old: "Its satisfying to ME anyway"
And let me guess, a bitch still ain't one 💁🏼♀️
And let me guess, a bitch still ain't one 💁🏼♀️
Does anyone wanna be my messaging buddy for this longass road trip?
Alright Miss Congeniality💃🔫🕵🏻♀️
Millennial Falcon retweeted
Me: Twitter is a fishes cycle. Them: You mean “vicious cycle?” Me: Not with all these damn catfish.
https://t.co/e6vOjILc91
AGAIN FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK! Seriously tho, I still hear people make "just don't be depressed" comments far too much
Millennial Falcon retweeted
Don’t make important decisions when you’re sleepy, grumpy, horny or hungry When you are any of the other dwarves you’re fine
cindy @keith63916445
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FᎪᎢ ᏩᎪNᎠᎪ... @sofarrsogud
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