erin chack @ErinChack
my hair is long now. writing: @newyorkerhumor, @mcsweeneys, @monsterchildren and more. always looking for new bylines. penguinrandomhouse.com/books/538853/t… LA Joined January 2013-
Tweets10K
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Followers22K
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Following651
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Likes39K
we cheers. “to new beginnings,” you say. “to nude beginnings,” i say, smiling. “what?” you ask. “it sounded like you said—” but im already fully naked and running out your front door
I'm unemployed at heart, and no job will ever change that.
AMNESIA COP: do you know why i pulled you over?
“They’ll say we’re disturbing the peace, but there is no peace. What really bothers them is that we are disturbing the war.” Howard Zinn 1971
the first time i ever had a panic attack i was smoking weed talk about blunt force trauma
My emotions™️ 7am: Today I’ll be more positive 10am: I hate my job, the sun and myself Lunch: ok I think I overreacted 5pm: another stupid day is over 8pm: if I get enough sleep I’ll be fine 12am: [crying] I hope aliens destroy earth
[time traveling to 1914] me: wow i can't believe i'm witnessing world war I soldier: why are you calling it that me: haha i mean just the one war. a single war. no other wars coming.
goodnight forever
[slipping DJ $20] my good sir would you turn it down a skooch
like this tweet if you love smoking marijuanna on april 20th. i am not a cop.
guess who just got fired. the big man at merriam webster didnt like me sneaking in my own ideas for words. not very pompsh of them. not very pompsh at hocklorp
when i call you babe i mean like the pig
the worms will NOT care about how many wrinkles u have when they see ur delicious corpse in the dirt they will be sooo excited to host a feast with all their friends. u will be the most special guest at the worm dinner party and it’ll all be ok♥️
[me showing my caveman around] ME: it's called a dog. it's like a wolf but friendly. BOOG: [brandishing a club] Boog smash? ME: no Boog we don't smash dogs
I’ve shenanned before… and I’ll shenanigan
tax day!!! it's an absolute privilege to pay tens of thousands of dollars in taxes so that the united states can afford bombs while i can barely get medical care and will never afford a home
when i remember to bring my tote bags to the grocery store
museums are so boring, let me ride the dinosaur skeleton
The weekend is not enough. I need the world to END.
Josh Gondelman @joshgondelman
200K Followers 4K Following Year round iced coffee drinker. Stand-up special "People Pleaser" out now. Previously: Last Week Tonight, Mrs. Maisel, Head Writer/EP Desus & Mero.
Sophie Vershbow @svershbow
51K Followers 9K Following Writer: @nymag @esquire @nytimes, etc. Head of Influencer Mkt: @eventbrite. Formerly in publishing. Mostly tweeting dogs & books. She/her. Opinions my own.
Louis Peitzman @LouisPeitzman
80K Followers 4K Following Mary Testa once said I was great. Bylines: NY Times, Vulture, Time, BuzzFeed. [email protected]
Katie Notopoulos @katienotopoulos
88K Followers 2K Following Correspondent @BusinessInsider. Extremely kind and amazing person, just like, so super nice and caring. Open DMs.
AB @AlannaBennett
52K Followers 5K Following Screenwriter, author. XO KITTY | ROSWELL | 2ND BEST HOSPITAL IN THE GALAXY | MOVIES | BOOKS. Debut novel THE EDUCATION OF KIA GREER coming via Knopf.
Maris Kreizman @mariskreizman
81K Followers 5K Following I run The Maris Review! author of I Want To Burn This Place Down, 2025 or so from @eccobooks
♥mark magark♥ @markedly
26K Followers 366 Following See the world through the eyes of an idiot. | he/him
danielle weisberg for.. @danielleweisber
32K Followers 969 Following award-nominated tv writer, nap slut, the best goddamn dancer in the American Ballet Academy | she/her | [email protected]
Cullen Crawford @HelloCullen
45K Followers 2K Following husband to nine father to a beautiful Christian marine son to a wife father (all that matters) marine to a beautiful son comedy writer but TO WHAT END?!
andi zeisler @andizeisler
82K Followers 7K Following Writer, editor, @BitchMedia cofounder, speaker, author, WE WERE FEMINISTS ONCE. I look like your cousin's friend or your friend's cousin. I love your dog.
sweatpants cher🔸 @House_Feminist
32K Followers 633 Following • unverified account • orca sympathizer • she/her • 🔴 alt @thot_feminist
Isaac Fitzgerald @IsaacFitzgerald
43K Followers 1K Following New York Times bestselling author of Dirtbag, Massachusetts | How to Be a Pirate | Knives and Ink | Pen and Ink. Next up? American Dionysus for @AAKnopf. 🍎
jo @whatsJo
48K Followers 968 Following b-side. I eat popsicles for breakfast. Trial ft error. 🤖rights. crusha bit, lil bit✨
Rads @_radsy
35K Followers 942 Following Everything in moderation, except for snacks. https://t.co/5nYXnwFkTs
audrey farnsworth @audipenny
43K Followers 852 Following writer. @audipenny on IG / important newsletter @ https://t.co/bZaZufPQ3K / comics at @scaretownusa
FRO VO @fro_vo
42K Followers 1K Following 🦋 @frovo.bsky.social - - TOP TWEETS: https://t.co/NZPHrTUDjC -- Recent Tweets: https://t.co/4WK3dR41F1 -- STORE: https://t.co/YaxNssq5DC
theresacross @theresacross_
1K Followers 658 Following currently orbiting with one heavenly body around another ✨credentialed multimedia spaceflight photojournalist | 🎥📸✍️
Tenoughth @tenoughth4985
24 Followers 2K Following
Erin @8f1mFWeBqlp3875
39 Followers 1K Following I just like to read the world news if you are looking for people to invest in cryptocurrencies. Then please go away!
Rooshen @Rooshen795303
41 Followers 2K Following
The Success Pod @the_success_pod
100 Followers 65 Following Daily lessons from the world's most successful people and thought leaders. Join the growing tribe of 1,550+ winners and subscribe to my YouTube channel now.
Nance Hellmrich @getnance
308 Followers 157 Following Nance Hellmrich is a freelance writer and editor with a passion for active travel
Sammy De La O @sammydelao
2K Followers 5K Following 🌊Vision’s Mission 🗣️ Speaker Booker for Global Leaders, Inventors, & Founders 📕F.E.A.R.L.E.S.S. Author, 🎬Director & Exec.Producer 🌏 I’m 🇲🇽🇺🇸🇮🇹🇵🇱
Tina @tinamariaw2010
781 Followers 4K Following
Kara Goodman @KaraGoodman27
38 Followers 48 Following
Lost Panda 🐼 ◼�.. @Retrawiz
16K Followers 16K Following This panda is currently busy processing an existential crisis... 🐼😷⚽️
Ndifreke🎨👩🏾�.. @ndis_pocket
146 Followers 70 Following Your energy speaks for you. Art || fashion ||🥀 IG: https://t.co/U5ORQLWlEQ
Bernard Carlisle @berncarl
6 Followers 683 Following
flowerwalah @The_Gur_
0 Followers 2K Following Flower Walah #desiflorist City Scents & Fleur de Lis in Chicago Zero followers preferred
Onebeer @LuvPlayingCards
2K Followers 4K Following
Kirsti Conk @KirstiConk
239 Followers 757 Following Store in a cool, dry place. Stir well before serving. Secret SEND Teacher. #LGBT+ #ADHD #Education
Providenza Agata @theotherserena
17 Followers 258 Following
gnuIce @IceGnu69880
32 Followers 2K Following
Kate @katrionaemily
1K Followers 4K Following Assistant Producer - @JaneGarvey1 and @fifiglover on @timesradio 📻 Email: [email protected] 💌 she/her 🏳️🌈
Dmytro ЗП - Karitek.. @paulrains62
226 Followers 565 Following Ukraine. Bass guitar. Cold rolling machines. Driver of V6 rear drive natural aspirated. Всі Зе та Z йдуть туди, де й вовки срать бояться.
Mark Sinnathamby @markfaction
695 Followers 3K Following Senior Engineer (Cloud & Platform team) at Gallagher | Programmer | Amateur astronomer | Vintage computers | Retro video games | STEM advocate
Jonathan Davenport @TheRealDavenpoe
2K Followers 266 Following Narrative Designer, Story Artist, hubbo, dad
Time (pronunciation: .. @lame101000
215 Followers 510 Following Sharing personal opinions only. I’ve got a sense of humor. Satire included. Independent views politically, but I do appreciate bipartisan approaches.
JaAG @JaAG
1K Followers 2K Following Veteran, retired, and creator of music ensembles, coffee lover, Woodwind Forum admin, and avid saxophonist, I love making music. Did I mention I like coffee?
Tif @neohorizontoday
29 Followers 368 Following Growth is my #1 value in life and at work. 🧑🏻🚒Firefighter turn 🎨UX designer. Practical mindfulness | Personal growth | Productivity
Kayla @weepingwilloww9
626 Followers 3K Following happiness can be found even in the darkest of times if one only remembers to turn on the light -albus Dumbledore 🕯️ 🥀🌈 ♓ 26
Menno Diemel @MennoDiemel
0 Followers 75 Following Vader, (schoon)zoon, echtgenoot, broer, zwager en ook steeds meer mezelf.
Chird @thephilchad
102 Followers 502 Following It's a flaming clown show on top of a mass grave babyyyyyyyy | he/him
ᒪᎥǤᕼ丅 ᑭᗩ.. @Mike__A___
862 Followers 5K Following Game Developer AND Top 5 Host Subscribe to my Youtube
Spry Af @ValSanti66
325 Followers 510 Following Writer, tutor, teacher and preacher to the choir. Just posted my debut novel Little Flowers to Booksirens before going live on Amazon! 12 years in the making!
m@thew @TweetPotato314
44K Followers 598 Following retired: @tweetpotato314 ︎new: https://t.co/eGYheQADS5 personal: @antelopish
Andrea Marie 😼 @AndreaNeedsCats
217 Followers 608 Following Cat enthusiast😺 #RESIST 🌊 #BLM Fuck Ted Cruz #LGBTQALLY 🏳️🌈#justiceforbreonnataylor always sleepy 😴 she/her
Bird Eckler @Birdeckler
2K Followers 3K Following Morsels of joy, mixed with sprinkles of outrage. Results may vary.
Christopher Bellamah @Christo21614681
115 Followers 213 Following
Patrick Marris @patrickmarris
39 Followers 560 Following
Georgia Tynan @gtynan3m
6 Followers 38 Following
Beach Emu @EmuBeach
109 Followers 421 Following
alice @hileyalice
460 Followers 1K Following she/her, 26 | @thewritingsquad grad | lover of cats, listener of pop, killer of plants
Flo @Schabernacken
17 Followers 353 Following
Dillon Egyes @dillonegyes
310 Followers 1K Following Professional @sagaftra actress, stand-in, body double, arts & crafts crew *high pitched screaming* aaaaAAAAAAAAARRRRRRTTTTTT! Instagram - @dillonegyes
NKT @NKT301
49 Followers 377 Following
Josh Gondelman @joshgondelman
200K Followers 4K Following Year round iced coffee drinker. Stand-up special "People Pleaser" out now. Previously: Last Week Tonight, Mrs. Maisel, Head Writer/EP Desus & Mero.
Louis Peitzman @LouisPeitzman
80K Followers 4K Following Mary Testa once said I was great. Bylines: NY Times, Vulture, Time, BuzzFeed. [email protected]
Katie Notopoulos @katienotopoulos
88K Followers 2K Following Correspondent @BusinessInsider. Extremely kind and amazing person, just like, so super nice and caring. Open DMs.
AB @AlannaBennett
52K Followers 5K Following Screenwriter, author. XO KITTY | ROSWELL | 2ND BEST HOSPITAL IN THE GALAXY | MOVIES | BOOKS. Debut novel THE EDUCATION OF KIA GREER coming via Knopf.
Maris Kreizman @mariskreizman
81K Followers 5K Following I run The Maris Review! author of I Want To Burn This Place Down, 2025 or so from @eccobooks
♥mark magark♥ @markedly
26K Followers 366 Following See the world through the eyes of an idiot. | he/him
danielle weisberg for.. @danielleweisber
32K Followers 969 Following award-nominated tv writer, nap slut, the best goddamn dancer in the American Ballet Academy | she/her | [email protected]
Cullen Crawford @HelloCullen
45K Followers 2K Following husband to nine father to a beautiful Christian marine son to a wife father (all that matters) marine to a beautiful son comedy writer but TO WHAT END?!
sweatpants cher🔸 @House_Feminist
32K Followers 633 Following • unverified account • orca sympathizer • she/her • 🔴 alt @thot_feminist
Isaac Fitzgerald @IsaacFitzgerald
43K Followers 1K Following New York Times bestselling author of Dirtbag, Massachusetts | How to Be a Pirate | Knives and Ink | Pen and Ink. Next up? American Dionysus for @AAKnopf. 🍎
jo @whatsJo
48K Followers 968 Following b-side. I eat popsicles for breakfast. Trial ft error. 🤖rights. crusha bit, lil bit✨
audrey farnsworth @audipenny
43K Followers 852 Following writer. @audipenny on IG / important newsletter @ https://t.co/bZaZufPQ3K / comics at @scaretownusa
Ariel Dumas @ArielDumas
70K Followers 8K Following IG: @ arieldumaspubicaccount - Head Writer and Supervising Producer for @colbertlateshow
FRO VO @fro_vo
42K Followers 1K Following 🦋 @frovo.bsky.social - - TOP TWEETS: https://t.co/NZPHrTUDjC -- Recent Tweets: https://t.co/4WK3dR41F1 -- STORE: https://t.co/YaxNssq5DC
dick snickers @smithsara79
42K Followers 830 Following My name isn’t really sara; I just don't want my students googling me & finding out I say fuck. (any pronouns, just don’t be an asshole)
delia @delia_cai
37K Followers 3K Following writer @vanityfair (but they wanna lay me and dozens of colleagues off, but @condeunion is fighting for us 💪) / author of CENTRAL PLACES / deez links 4 life
m@thew @TweetPotato314
44K Followers 598 Following retired: @tweetpotato314 ︎new: https://t.co/eGYheQADS5 personal: @antelopish
Leo Albert Kovalik Jr @KoValik317
963 Followers 822 Following Just a Man and his Tamagotchi trying to make it in this world. Rocket Ship Builder, Pizza Expert, Loves all things DC sports and not a parent.
A M W @amymwr77
16 Followers 433 Following
Luke Burns @LukeVBurns
2K Followers 1K Following Gonna be posting way less on here! Check out my site for contact info, etc. Writing funny stuff/weird stuff. New Yorker, McSweeney's. https://t.co/yNKx4MWxzD // he/him
james folta @JamesFolta
5K Followers 3K Following funny writer, funny editor @pointsincase, blogs @lithub, @wgaaudio, hangin’ tuff, he/him
Adam Cerious @Browtweaten
55K Followers 990 Following high speed, aggressive, non-action. also jokes. venmo: adamcerious
zach silberberg @zachsilberberg
53K Followers 4K Following tv in new york. no views my own. my birthday is this year
Shyla Watson @shylawhittney
4K Followers 755 Following Former blue check. celeb and book tings / previously @buzzfeed @themessenger @popsugar @phenomenalmedia / big fan of romance novels, award shows, and naps
abby russell @ybbaaabby
44K Followers 3K Following I'm down to clown 'til I'm dead in the ground. #PuzzleInfluencer #Gas | Currently Marketing @jackboxgames | Formerly @GiantBomb @G4TV @MagnetTheater | #Gas
Zack Bornstein @ZackBornstein
155K Followers 4K Following Emmy-losing Writer/Director/Comedian (#Shrinking, @nbcSNL, #StrangePlanet, @Netflix, @Hulu, @Dreamworks, @JimmyKimmelLive, @NewYorker)
amelia elizalde @ameliaelizalde
35K Followers 950 Following writer. formerly @comedycentral @clickhole
APStylebook @APStylebook
356K Followers 26K Following A full suite of products to help you stay in style, whether on your desktop, laptop, smartphone or tablet
liz love dyl @lamelousy
2K Followers 385 Following
Gila Pfeffer (as in �.. @Gilapfeffer
4K Followers 2K Following NEARLY DEPARTED, a memoir about outsmarting my genetic destiny with chutzpah & humor coming in 2024 from @experimentbooks rep’d by @arcliterary. ✍️ McSw, NYT +
Will Sennett @Senn_Spud
115K Followers 1K Following the warrior in the garden @pod197424 / @CloserLookPod
Lizzy Weiss @Lizzy_Weiss
19K Followers 1K Following Writer (Switched at Birth & Blue Crush) Also: mom, wife, feminist, Boxer owner, sign language student, native Angeleno, lover of lockets, toast & jumpsuits.
Sarah S. Grossman @sarah_grossman
3K Followers 510 Following author of A FIRE SO WILD 📕 solidarity @hcpunion. former reporter @HuffPost
Sasha Stewart @ArtfulStew
4K Followers 3K Following One girl. Three kidneys. All the jokes. WGAE councilmember. Writer: TBA dramedy, Amend (Netflix) @DaughtersofDC, The Nightly Show, @tnyshouts @mcsweeneys
no @unfollowwmeeplz
407 Followers 6 Following
FREE PALESTINE @zainabshah
5K Followers 4K Following comin in hot | words @nytimes @bonappetit @saveurmag +more | vp, audience strategy @journalismproj, 🖤@THECITYNY | https://t.co/ZJSY94wxin
Chris Hudspeth @CEHudspeth
6K Followers 493 Following Big fan of the 3rd highest grossing romantic comedy of all-time, Hitch. Staff Writer @Netflix Tudum. [email protected]
Pablo Valdivia @PabloValdivia
3K Followers 860 Following Editor, Latino Initiatives @NPR | @NPROye | Writer
Nina Luckshmi Mohan @NinaLMohan
5K Followers 848 Following Writer/Producer @BuzzFeed | 2020 @capeusa New Writers Fellow | 2022-2023 WB Writers Workshop she/her
Hayley Smith @whereishayley
5K Followers 2K Following Environment reporter @latimes. Covering wildfires, drought and climate change in California
charlie @chunkbardey
101K Followers 911 Following here for a good time and a long time. ultimately a comedian. is this helping??? i have a podcast called @ExplorationLive
Jaime Primak @JaimePrimak
34K Followers 7K Following Feature writer | #beastmovie 🦁streaming now! #cawfeetawk | Producer | Author - The Southern Education of a Jersey Girl | Mom | blue check gone girl 😜
Adam Abada @gnarcotics
667 Followers 148 Following Mostly compelled to tweet when people at the bar ask me if I skate.
Gyan Yankovich @GyanYankovich
8K Followers 2K Following Lifestyle Editor @smh @theage 📔 Author of Just Friends @ultimopress 🖊 Agent: Rach @wolfliterary 📖 Buy my book at the link below!
Monster Children @monsterchildren
8K Followers 1K Following Enter the Monster Children 2022 Photo Comp: https://t.co/hglfC9zRIv
Farrah Penn @FarrahPenn
5K Followers 346 Following easily overwhelmed 🌝 elder emo 🖤 aries introvert 💫 (she/her) 📖 CANCELLED (Penguin, 2024) Updates only! Find me on IG: @farrahpenn
Ali Drucker @ali_drucker
5K Followers 933 Following writer || you can buy my book about college + sex now || alexandra dot drucker at gmail dot com
Timothy McSweeney @mcsweeneys
261K Followers 1K Following The official twitter feed of McSweeney's Quarterly Concern, McSweeney's Internet Tendency, & McSweeney's Books. Publisher of @illustoria and @believermag.
prance @bocxtop
277K Followers 1K Following former backup jv quarterback current ?? [email protected]
Tacos Villa Corona @TVCAtwater
683 Followers 4 Following Tacos Villa Corona in the Atwater neighborhood of Los Angeles, CA. Open everyday from 6am-3pm or until food runs out.
Watching Anyone But You and the idea of making a bunch of people travel to Australia for a wedding is so fucked up that I can barely pay attention to the rest of what’s happening
This is what Mr. Krabs would have done at Jan. 6
30-40 hotdog vendors stormed Coachella after a fence toppled over
Student protesters were right about segregation in the early '60s, right about Vietnam in the late '60s, right about apartheid in the '80s, right about Iraq in 2003, and right about wealth inequality in 2011. Seems generally bad to side against student movements.
I can’t stop thinking about Challengers. My whole life is consumed. Just called an Uber (like in Challengers) working on my laptop (Zendaya works on a laptop in Challengers) kissing a man (wish I were doing this in front of Zendaya) etc.
Excited to announce I’ve been paid $5,000,000 for my new comedy special, “They Won’t Let You Do Comedy Anymore” for a big streamer. It’s shot at an opera house that sits 5,000 cheering fans. My opening bit will be about me being silenced. The rest will be how much I hate my wife
look at him wiggle on that fork I just love him so much
In a new Weekend Essay, John Paul Brammer considers rattlesnake hunting, masculinity, and growing up gay in Oklahoma. nyer.cm/1fof3RG
It’s the one year anniversary of the worst thing that’s ever happened to me
ME: *takes communion wafer* thank you father PRIEST: did you just put a little pepperoni on that
What do you think calling for a ceasefire & divestment from weapons manufacturers is??
This is one of my favorite tumblr posts ever
There have now been Palestine solidarity & anti-war student actions on at least 120 U.S. college campuses in the past week and a half
i understand that my body can't digest corn or whatever. that's fine. my issue is that i fucking chewed it. how the hell is it coming out back in the shape of corn. what are they not telling us
my literal favorite bitch. suppository night goblin heathen worm queen of wet earth. dunce of dunces and blight of all birds. spirit sister of the turgid rat, eye of the hidden, long forgotten matriarch of the oldest failures of god. final diamond at the end of time. the Kiwi
Are there any men out there who have a favorite bird that is not an eagle? Every single man I have ever asked said "eagle".
You think October 7 just fell out of a coconut tree? It exists in the context of all in which it lives and what came before it.
Accusing Israel of genocide for fighting a war it did not start is a modern day blood libel.
Julia Louis-Dreyfus seemed to be not PC and hilarious just fine.
Jerry Seinfeld says TV comedy is being hurt by "the extreme left and P.C. crap, and people worrying so much about offending other people." “It used to be, you would go home at the end of the day, most people would go, ‘Oh, “Cheers” is on. Oh, “MASH” is on. Oh, “Mary Tyler Moore”…
you tell em, buddy! proud of you for speaking your mind. how was kindergarten today
Put any of this shit on a burger and we gon have a problem
yea i love colin jost. colin jost to say hello
doing dishes and had the thought “the sink helps you with water”. such a hauntingly dimwitted sentence to produce that im actually a bit frightened now. there’s no way the brain that produced that thought is capable of making something of my life. time will tell
new yorker cartoon 2024: (woman on bed holding iPhone) "and for my next trick, going to bed without doom scrolling" new yorker cartoon 1934: (man at a party is crawling around on the ground, his wife is holds a martini and explains) "he thinks he's bug"
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