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Tweets11K
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Followers19K
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Following1K
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Likes34K
never let anyone tell you a peaceful occupation won't make a difference
never let anyone tell you a peaceful occupation won't make a difference
idk feels like overkill against a student population whose strongest weapon is singing a cappella
lmao just saw someone call challengers a romantic thriller, my friends its a rom com for adults, i know thats hard to spot since we hardly ever get them, but thats what it is
daddy, i love him
DUNE PART TWO: MATCH POINT ft. Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross
DUNE PART TWO: MATCH POINT ft. Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross https://t.co/xzrTEryaAw
meechee, chani, tashi, zendaya just loves to play a gal with a goofy name
I did stand-up last night as "1990s Jerry Seinfeld Doing Bits About His 17-Year-Old Girlfriend"
josh o’connor you have been promoted, you are now one of my elite employees
josh o’connor you have been promoted, you are now one of my elite employees
art and patrick are both babygirl, tashi is slay but not mother
Why is the Bible so popular it doesn't even have an enemies to lovers
Napoleon is master of Europe; only the British fleet stands before him; oceans are now battlefields.
Napoleon is master of Europe; only the British fleet stands before him; oceans are now battlefields.
jojo siwa is having fun and getting press shes killing it
your carrie bradshaw slander is pathetic and immaterial
thank you to everyone who has ever posted a bad photo of a guy i was into, youve helped me so much
danielle weisberg for.. @danielleweisber
32K Followers 969 Following award-nominated tv writer, nap slut, the best goddamn dancer in the American Ballet Academy | she/her | [email protected]Emily Murnane @emily_murnane
31K Followers 1K Following writer & director & producer & editor | often crying on public transitlimp brittzkit @Brittymigs
19K Followers 2K Following she/her. just a little snail girl trying to get by. @meatcats @reductress @cracked mgmt: [email protected]seynique — detroit .. @seynique
11K Followers 1K Following comedian. writer. podcaster. | she/her co-host of @everybodywspod & @wediefirstpod seyniquesmythecomedy @ https://t.co/NqCyCotNYisleepiest girl in the.. @v_dcknz
9K Followers 3K Following headlinezzzz @theonion @reductress • Hyperfocus: A Neurodivergent Comedy Show @caveatnyc next show May 12 😇lana schwartz @_lanabelle
7K Followers 2K Following writer bitch/freelancer/@newyorker, @theonion, @realpunknews + more/the book BUILD YOUR OWN ROMANTIC COMEDY/i think that my horse is regular sized (she/her)Iris✨ @Jest_Iris
18K Followers 2K Following out of pocket bc my pants don't have any NYC Comedian Writer Gamer Jewish af IG: jest.iris | words in @Reductress & @HardDriveMag featured in @adweekWhacktose Intolerant @MillyTamarez
12K Followers 2K Following Comedian, writer on @datinggameabc, host of @betches_sup pod, @waitwait contributor, creator of: @flexxmag & @dafcomedyfest https://t.co/h0v9b9xzI3Kristen Mulrooney @missmulrooney
14K Followers 2K Following Editor @The_Belladonnas. Writing in The New Yorker, McSweeneys, Gilmore Girls: The Official Cookbook kristenmmm on InstaZach Schiffman @schlife
9K Followers 2K Following I’m 5’5 but everyone tells me I seem 5’8 / social @curbed @grubstreet @nymagArielle Dundas @ArielleDundas
14K Followers 4K Following My niche is that I’m funny and I have interesting opinions. She/her. Stardew valley streamer. ADHD. typos are part of my brand.Skyler Higley @skyler_higley
26K Followers 995 Following standup/staff writer @midnight. formerly CONAN, @theonion.meredith @dietz_meredith
18K Followers 2K Following too tired to pee, too full of piss to sleep. staff writer @lifehacker. headline contributor @TheOnion @reductress.Marcia Belsky @MarciaBelsky
24K Followers 2K Following I wrote 100 Tampons and more 🚀new album out now:James III @ruleof3inc
10K Followers 3K Following film/tv writer @blackmenpodcast, @clubastronomy, #latefees @ruleof3comics. actor seen on 1 season of several netflix shows.Allison Reese🛸 @alienreese
13K Followers 1K Following she’s gay. @BROSTHEMOVIE | Lydia Parker on @tooningout | 22 JFL new face| ‘22 @CBS Showcase|Kamala Harris Impression|#BLM #TransRightsAreHumanRightsEric Feurer @EricFeurer
4K Followers 844 Following Characters Welcome Guy | Teacher @ucbtny │ Writer @mcsweeneys @PointsinCase @SlackjawHumor │ poems │ characters │ puppets │ MORE STUFF - https://t.co/D9nKMfmahYGeorgia Shenk @GeorgiaShenk
17K Followers 2K Following Writer + Antisocialite ✿ @reductress ✿ @TheSecondCity trained ✿ say [email protected]Zach Dunn @zachbdunn
10K Followers 886 Following writer for What We Do In The Shadows + English Teacher + FalloutChristopher Setzer @CSetzer19677
80 Followers 714 FollowingFunny Tweets @FunnyTweetzz4u
375 Followers 5K Following Look no further for funny tweets. #Humor #Funny #JokesDominic @OQw8wDdRA5H61
53 Followers 1K Following 風雨を経験しなければ、虹を見ることはできない。磨かれなければ、ダイヤモンドになることはできない。堅持して、奮闘して、夢はついに実現します!頑張って!@Austin-bruno420 @AronTjay1988
17 Followers 851 Following A verified ammo vendor hmu for any strap yo need 💯 been selling guns for 9years scared money ain't no money Don't hmu if yo capping ❌ Got all ammo on deck📲Funny Snarky Humor @FUNNYsnarkyJOKE
9K Followers 2K Following I like 2 make light of things 2 brighten up a dark world. #funny #humor #satire #snarky #memes #humour #hilariousTiny Dinos Podcast�.. @tinydinospod
166 Followers 2K Following A @Hyperobject_Ind comedy podcast by @connorratliff & @ruleof3inc about 2 best friends who are scientists who have made a secret thing. 1st episode May 7Robert Mark Morgan @MorganSetDesign
781 Followers 2K Following Teaching Professor @WUSTL, Production Designer https://t.co/HvNpTQWEhK, #Creativity instructor, Views my ownCarolina Carmella @CarmellaCr76003
2K Followers 7K Following New account Artist Comic books Fanatic, interests include fan art,character design and cover art. Willing to talk about working on the design of AV characters.Cameron Ernst @cam_ernst
44 Followers 2K Following I retweet what I find funny. And I find a lot of things funny.Islam Mohamed @islammohamed77
27 Followers 390 Followingsync think @syncthink123
47 Followers 362 FollowingJoel is drafting and .. @booksafterbed
803 Followers 2K Following Poet, punk, reformed mandarin. #Amquerying 1 x NA Fantasy & 1 x Romantasy #Amwriting YA Fantasy & NA Fantasy & GrimdarkCman710 @Cman710
1K Followers 2K Following Screenwriter l 32 l Horror Fanatic l He/Him l Neurodivergent/Autistic Current Projects: The Student Body and Original Works #Wicked coming November 27thThe King of Burbank @akingofburbank
899 Followers 852 Following Delusional bisexual Hollywood worker bee. he/him. Personal tea @kingofburbank2Sean Collins-Smith @SeanTwoNames
8K Followers 1K Following Story Editor - CHICAGO P.D. // Staff Writer - Michael Schur's FIELD OF DREAMS // Reps: Verve & 3 Arts. Recovering Journalist. Springsteen Addict. Tennis Noob.bridget @bmna03
102 Followers 2K FollowingTS Korea @korea21094
14 Followers 52 Followingnews @news32082826137
26 Followers 223 FollowingPigBoy @pigbusiness12
338 Followers 3K Following Advocate for Human Rights. Despise injustice. Despise exploitation. The MAGA movement is humanity at its darkest and lowest. Hopeful for the future.Shahid Chaudri @sachaudri1957
256 Followers 416 Following I am 66, from Nairobi, Kenya. Living in uk since 1971. I write short stories and poetry. Retired after working 48 years of my precious life. Separated in 2007.Shittu Abdulgafar @ShittuAbdu54705
42 Followers 181 FollowingCoffee House Press @Coffee_House_
64K Followers 2K Following Coffee House Press is an independent, nonprofit book publisher based in Minneapolis. Sign up for the newsletter: https://t.co/VWs70eUzpc…Mark Internet @MarkInternet
647 Followers 243 Following Everything's a hassle. Former writer-editor and illustrator for I Watch Stuff and TV-VCR; bylines at Paper; so now what? Hire me for whatever.Figy pudding @dummyfigg
763 Followers 737 Following the bravest most special-est guy. any/all/idc nsfw on occasion☭ Daydream of Hell .. @zoesnotaposter
766 Followers 3K Following mostly a girl. she/her, they/them, or it/its. probably have at least one favourite movie you haven't heard of. more marxism & leninism, less marxism-leninismAbanajarju @abanajarju65663
71 Followers 1K FollowingSingle Boy Seeks Girl.. @aWolfAlexander
15 Followers 279 Following Hey! Are you my soulmate? I wrote a book for you. Its on the blog. Check below to see if we match all 20 personality traits! Then read the book and reply. -Alex重庆同城小学妹.. @DayleGene95243
60 Followers 441 Following 同城真心小学妹.Q.3681701671可甜可咸.可69、活好不粘人.只要你真心.妹妹必尽心·无定金.无门槛.非诚勿扰·要定金.门槛费的都是骗子Mark Silverman @MarkSil22710591
1K Followers 293 Following I am a voice actor and I narrate a famous Disney ride. I also love monster movies and a good Cobb Salad.Ruben David @ruben_davi40113
16 Followers 314 FollowingDevin Wallace @TheDevinWallace
597 Followers 664 Following words in @mcsweeneys, @BwayBeatNews, @endofbench, and the bathroom stalls of brooklyn's worst bars. we need: more houses. fewer cars. same amount of snakes.Kris Shocka @shockadelica__
685 Followers 3K FollowingElon Musk TeslaPay @Elonmuskteslaht
248 Followers 4K Following CEO - Spacex 🚀 Tesla =🚘 Founder - The Boring Company Co-Founder - Neuralink, OpenAlQuinelle "Coach Q" Ho.. @QuinelleHolder
13K Followers 8K Following ✝ Believer | Husband | Father | #MCA ⬇️DebauchedSaint @SaintDebauched
48 Followers 443 Following Dragon Consumer, Author - "Book of John", B12 Deficient / RIP @Degeneratesaint1 2011-2018 https://t.co/beIUkUUmLhTheRealBrooks @genx777
149 Followers 842 Following “When the game is over, the king and the pawn go back into the same box.”danielle weisberg for.. @danielleweisber
32K Followers 969 Following award-nominated tv writer, nap slut, the best goddamn dancer in the American Ballet Academy | she/her | [email protected]Emily Murnane @emily_murnane
31K Followers 1K Following writer & director & producer & editor | often crying on public transitlimp brittzkit @Brittymigs
19K Followers 2K Following she/her. just a little snail girl trying to get by. @meatcats @reductress @cracked mgmt: [email protected]sleepiest girl in the.. @v_dcknz
9K Followers 3K Following headlinezzzz @theonion @reductress • Hyperfocus: A Neurodivergent Comedy Show @caveatnyc next show May 12 😇lana schwartz @_lanabelle
7K Followers 2K Following writer bitch/freelancer/@newyorker, @theonion, @realpunknews + more/the book BUILD YOUR OWN ROMANTIC COMEDY/i think that my horse is regular sized (she/her)Whacktose Intolerant @MillyTamarez
12K Followers 2K Following Comedian, writer on @datinggameabc, host of @betches_sup pod, @waitwait contributor, creator of: @flexxmag & @dafcomedyfest https://t.co/h0v9b9xzI3Zach Schiffman @schlife
9K Followers 2K Following I’m 5’5 but everyone tells me I seem 5’8 / social @curbed @grubstreet @nymagSkyler Higley @skyler_higley
26K Followers 995 Following standup/staff writer @midnight. formerly CONAN, @theonion.meredith @dietz_meredith
18K Followers 2K Following too tired to pee, too full of piss to sleep. staff writer @lifehacker. headline contributor @TheOnion @reductress.Marcia Belsky @MarciaBelsky
24K Followers 2K Following I wrote 100 Tampons and more 🚀new album out now:James III @ruleof3inc
10K Followers 3K Following film/tv writer @blackmenpodcast, @clubastronomy, #latefees @ruleof3comics. actor seen on 1 season of several netflix shows.Allison Reese🛸 @alienreese
13K Followers 1K Following she’s gay. @BROSTHEMOVIE | Lydia Parker on @tooningout | 22 JFL new face| ‘22 @CBS Showcase|Kamala Harris Impression|#BLM #TransRightsAreHumanRightsEric Feurer @EricFeurer
4K Followers 844 Following Characters Welcome Guy | Teacher @ucbtny │ Writer @mcsweeneys @PointsinCase @SlackjawHumor │ poems │ characters │ puppets │ MORE STUFF - https://t.co/D9nKMfmahYGeorgia Shenk @GeorgiaShenk
17K Followers 2K Following Writer + Antisocialite ✿ @reductress ✿ @TheSecondCity trained ✿ say [email protected]Zach Dunn @zachbdunn
10K Followers 886 Following writer for What We Do In The Shadows + English Teacher + Fallout𝘁𝗶𝗺 𝗯𝗮.. @TimBarnes451
10K Followers 3K Following TV writer: @nickelodeon, @fallontonight - Creator of #MauriceOnMars (https://t.co/1cQVqJpIBU) - Host of @YouAreTheGenre - Co-host of: @YubNubPodLillian Stone @originalspinstr
8K Followers 4K Following culture writer // author: EVERYBODY’S FAVORITE, out now from @deystreet 💋 @wgaeast shrew 👊Kimberly 🧜🏻�.. @KimberlyDinaro
8K Followers 2K Following Stand-up mermaid & Goddess of unemployed bartenders. Bylines: @someecards, @Betches_Sup, @betchesluvthis, @reductressElyse Hollander @ElyseHollander
2K Followers 591 Following Screenwriter | Born and raised in LA | Perpetual bedroom eyes | Madonna called me a charlatan and a fool. (WGA / CAA)George Wallace @MrGeorgeWallace
865K Followers 4K Following The Official George Wallace Twitter. Trying to serve it up with hot sauce for you. God bless.🔥 🏠 with a Y �.. @wyntermitchell
21K Followers 7K Following cultural commentator 🗣️writer ✍🏾 content strategist 👩🏾💻podcastress 🎙 @wynter on ig - 📧 [email protected]zoe kazan @zoeinthecities
94K Followers 2K Following SHE SAID, THE PLOT AGAINST AMERICA, RUBY SPARKS, OLIVE KITTERIDGE, THE BIG SICK, THE BALLAD OF BUSTER SCRUGGS, WILDLIFE, etc.Joel Kim Booster @ihatejoelkim
149K Followers 1K Following editor in chief @nytimes. my wife is missing.april korto quioh �.. @aprilkortoquioh
4K Followers 884 Following writer/producer of survival of the thickest on @netflix, the other black girl on @hulu, films + tweets about popstars | 🇱🇷 | she/herAnnie? Rauwerda? @anniierau
46K Followers 4K Following i spend more time on @depthsofwiki! i like wikipedia, trivia, stew, etc @[email protected]Heidi N. Moore @moorehn
111K Followers 10K Following Slowwwly backing away from this place I liked. Ex-WSJ, Marketplace, Guardian. moorehn on Bsky. I followed u for pics of your pet. She/her. Hi.internet baby @kirkpate
29K Followers 1K Following Emily Kirkpatrick words for $ i write a newsletter called i heart mess about the best of the worst celebrity fashionRohita Kadambi @RohitaKadambi
17K Followers 1K Following Bylines: @betches_sup @mcsweeneys @newyorker Finalist: @WBDAccess Comedic Voices. WGA Strong. Booking requests: [email protected]New New York Times @NYT_first_said
208K Followers 11 Following Tweets words when they appear in the NYT the 1st time. @maxbittker https://t.co/nfa3cgBxY2 https://t.co/vYafhkVcRLPjörk🐷 @NicoleConlan
10K Followers 1K Following writer for @TheDailyShow, personal assistant to my dogAmericana at Brand Me.. @americanamemes
83K Followers 7 Following Memes about America’s favorite outdoor experience! Not affiliated with The Americana or Caruso.Zach Harper @talkhoops
134K Followers 2K Following Welcome to #Cinephobe! Subscribe to The Bounce (profile link)! ✍️ @TheAthleticNBA 🗣 @CountTheDings, @siriusxmnba, @maddogradio, IG: talkhoops | Get bucketsJennifer Wright @JenAshleyWright
138K Followers 1K Following History Author, TV Writer. Latest: Madame Restell: Old New York's Most Fabulous, Fearless, and Infamous Abortionist. Married to @Kibblesmith. Mom to toddler.Daniel Kibblesmith @kibblesmith
98K Followers 6K Following Writer; Television, Comic Books, Book Books. Married to Jennifer Wright. Dad.Zeb Wells @zebwells
8K Followers 296 FollowingMatt Goldich @MattGoldich
22K Followers 2K Following I write jokes for @latenightseth. Stand-up special NO QUESTIONS ASKED out now! https://t.co/ZzVOeIGJieDavid Sims @davidlsims
65K Followers 1K Following we are in a cage (Staff Writer @TheAtlantic | Host @blankcheckpod)Timothy Simons @timothycsimons
82K Followers 923 Following Actor. Doesn't like cocaine but likes songs about cocaine. 🍿 = first time seeing it ✈️ = watched it on a planeAndy Bobrow @abobrow
16K Followers 1K Following The greatest living comedy writer of our time. Maybe even the world.David Stassen @davidstassen
19K Followers 834 Following Maximum Truth coming June 23. History of the World on Hulu. Only the on-ball defender should be able to draw a charge.ian karmel @IanKarmel
77K Followers 3K Following Big time major standup comic. Tour dates @ the link below.priyanka mattoo @naanking
17K Followers 701 Following • Bird Milk & Mosquito Bones, @aaknopf, 6.18 • Writing @nytimes @newyorker @vulture • Reps: @wmebooks 📚, grandview mgmt 📺Jessica DeFino @jessicadefino_
25K Followers 1K Following Writes The Review of Beauty newsletter / Ask Ugly columnist @ The Guardian / "The woman the beauty industry fears" - Sunday HeraldBilly Domineau @billydomineau
383 Followers 352 Following 9/11 Seinfeld writer. Formerly SNL, Family Guy. From the ashes I rise back to this terrible website.Sofía Manfredi @sofiajmanfredi
1K Followers 872 Following writer @lastweektonight @patriotact @ClickHole and scallop tv. rarely hereMike Scully @scullymike
114K Followers 3K Following Duncanville, Simpsons, Parks & Rec, Everybody Loves Raymond, Carmichael Show & lots of canceled stuff. Go @lakings!Isabel Steckel @IsabelSteckel
14K Followers 720 Following comedian lol [email protected], [email protected]John T. Reynolds @DaddyReyn
917 Followers 235 Following the T is an upside down middle finger pointed at the grave. Emmy winning comedy writer. WGA, SAG, UCB.gabrielle korn @Gabrielle_Korn
15K Followers 2K Following Author; Yours for the Taking out now from @stmartinspress! Up next: The Shutouts, 12/3/24. Agent [email protected]Roy Wood Jr- Ex Jedi @roywoodjr
438K Followers 6K Following I tell the truth like white draws. FORMER: @TheDailyShow CURRENT: Social Recluse. FAMU grad reppin 205. Took me 5 yrs to get a 4yr degree, don't take me seriousGarrett Williams, BFA @badboygargar
20K Followers 1K Following Singer, Activist, UFO Experiencer Rep: FrameworkSpencer Griffin @spencerlgriffin
1K Followers 2K Following Head of TV Development at Just for Laughs. Formerly Exec/EP at Stoopid Buddy, Adam Ruins Everything, Big Breakfast, CollegeHumor, etc. https://t.co/uXcaBzpLvIBegging some of you to imagine how you'd feel about this exact sequence of events if the president was the other guy.
Twenty seven years ago this week, I started at “Late Night with Conan O’Brien” and gradually began creating the World’s Messiest Desk.
You should be able to hire a bird or lizard to cover for you at work
Also have found Tiffany’s heart bracelet from first high school boyfriend
Song of the summer!! open.spotify.com/track/5qfiRVKI…
Luca Guadagnino knows how to shoot a man, goddamn.
directed by luca guadagnino
So I loved loved LOVED “Challengers” - didn’t know what to expect, and walked out of the theater totally buzzing. It’s smart and sophisticated while still poppy and propulsive, basically “Design For Living” as a kick-ass sports movie. Seriously IT’S SO GOOD
Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross deserve to have their asses eaten for the challengers score
Mr. Netanyahu, antisemitism is a vile and disgusting form of bigotry that has done unspeakable harm to millions. Do not insult the intelligence of the American people by attempting to distract us from the immoral and illegal war policies of your extremist and racist government.
I have a new piece in @NewYorker @NewYorkerhumor about hacking and web-surfing in '90s movies >> newyorker.com/humor/shouts-m… <<
can you guys support journalism and read reviews from film critics on websites that pay them to do so for their job and shut the hell up whining about how we conduct ourselves for free on fucking letterboxd