Captain Thongbeard @thongbeard
I'm just a parody of myself favstar.fm/users/thongbea… Lake Titicaca Joined May 2009-
Tweets7K
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Followers1K
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Following612
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Likes10K
Captain Thongbeard retweeted
"What the fuck is he saying ?" - The first person to ever hear a Pear Jam song.
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@TamiDaBushPilot @circlejokes You had me at misplaced comma
Captain Thongbeard retweeted
The next person who says I'm using chopsticks incorrectly can cut this umbilical cord themselves
@nytimes Take the story further... like to editorial fucking tripe? I see what you did there.
@nielslesniewski @chucktodd You misspelled “awkwardly gropes children.”
@MeghanMcCain @akarmutt Dramatic pause... 👎🏻
@LadyThriller69 @LauraLoomer Talcum X
@catmiggs @realDonaldTrump Way to politicize tragedy with your partisanship. Your outrage is misguided by those that do your thinking for you.
@MickGreenhough Plus, the average western Christian is less devoted to the cause than the average Muslim, making Islam a preferable instrument of control for the masses, moving forward.
Captain Thongbeard retweeted
Props to the Netflix IT guy who invented the "Skip Intro" feature which allowed me to watch 27 episodes of The Office in 8 hours 58 minutes instead of 9 hours
@GrantTanaka @sarahdelri0 Not sure bison was the best animal choice for the simile, but yes.
@MuslimIQ There are no suspects currently, you fucking idiotic partisan.
@arjunsethi81 Oops you got ahead of yourself there, trigger finger.
@adamcbest Way to make tragedy political, you stupid fucking bipartisan.
@selectedwisdom So you want to see air strikes in Austin? Fucking non sequitur.
Captain Thongbeard retweeted
uber driver: *arrives at destination* me: soo.. i had a really fun time with you tonight
Captain Thongbeard retweeted
ICYMI: People who claim to want equality lose their shit when not treated preferentially.
Captain Thongbeard retweeted
Whoever put a 'b' in 'subtle' was next level.
Captain Thongbeard retweeted
If alcoholics get whiskey dick, do junkies get poppycock?
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