matt koff @mattkoff
standup comedian. writer for @TheDailyShow. i like peace and quiet. album: https://t.co/TfxG290wEt / RIP: @TrumpComedyNerd mattkoff.substack.com New York City Joined March 2008-
Tweets12K
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Followers13K
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Following1K
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Likes16K
OJ was a murderer but at least he gave us this scene
This is tonight! Use code PENCILS for discount tickets: eventbrite.com/e/pencils-down… @felipetmedinaa @DinaGusovsky @natashavaynblat @mattkoff @caveatnyc #JordanJensen
Tonight! Trying out new jokes at @caveatnyc with fellow TV writers @dopequeenpheebs @dinahashem_ @CruzKayne @salgentile & @mattkoff. Use code PENCILS for discount tix: eventbrite.com/e/pencils-down…
A great lineup of TV writers trying out new jokes 3/11 at @caveatnyc. @dopequeenpheebs! (Everything’s Trash) @dinahashem_! (Amazon Prime) Michael Cruz Kayne! (Colbert) Sal Gentile! (Seth Meyers) Hosted by me and Matt Koff caveat.nyc/events/pencils… Discount code: PENCILS
Working out a new solo show Thursday downstairs at @sohoplayhouse in Manhattan Special guest, The Daily Show’s @mattkoff !!
2/20 at @caveatnyc - PENCILS DOWN! Writers from your favorite TV shows try out new stand-up jokes. @LRonIsley (Daily Show) @salgentile (Seth Meyers) @pr_tim_ (Colbert) AND MORE! Hosted by me & @mattkoff (Daily Show) Use code PENCILS for discount tix: caveat.nyc/events/pencils…
It’s finally here! My stand-up special NO QUESTIONS ASKED will be out February 13. If you only watch one vanity project from a 44-year-old father of two this year, this is the one! Please share far and wide! And make sure to subscribe to my YouTube. youtube.com/mattgoldich?su…
Back at it February 20 at @caveatnyc with @mattkoff @LRonIsley @salgentile @pr_tim_ and more! TICKETS: caveat.nyc/events/pencils…
Kick back, relax, and get a good laugh in by watching our live stream from the @ComedyCellarUSA this Saturday at 10pm ET. Sign up with your favorite comedians promo code to get your first month for just $5! Featuring: @mattwasfunny @dovdavidoff @EJthecomic @mattkoff…
so excited for tonight! @roywoodjr @sophierzucker @JeffRightNoww @MattGoldich @caveatnyc
so excited for tonight! @roywoodjr @sophierzucker @JeffRightNoww @MattGoldich @caveatnyc
Back at @caveatnyc Tuesday 12/12 with a killer lineup of comics and friends trying new jokes! eventbrite.com/e/pencils-down…
how do i explain this to chris rock
how do i explain this to chris rock
(knocks) “My name is Matt and I’m an adult Lego master”
“I’m Too Drunk To Talk To You” My debut special SMOLDERING is now available on YouTube! Directed by @MikeSkoy! Featuring @1800PATBYRNE @Corndogobrien @MrChrisDonahue @AlecSpiegelman and more! Recorded at @BellHouseNY ! A full special of jokes and songs, please watch/share!
WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU CONGRATULATIONS
WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU CONGRATULATIONS
It’s #BackToTheFutureDay and TDS Arts Critic @mattkoff is asking the question on everyone’s mind
my friend @DanAmira wrote a funny New Yorker piece just for you newyorker.com/magazine/2023/…
Josh Gondelman @joshgondelman
200K Followers 4K Following Year round iced coffee drinker. Stand-up special "People Pleaser" out now. Previously: Last Week Tonight, Mrs. Maisel, Head Writer/EP Desus & Mero.
Noah Garfinkel @NoahGarfinkel
47K Followers 1K Following Writer -- Single Parents, President Show, New Girl, Kroll Show, Workaholics. On Bluesky with the same handle.
gianmarco @GianmarcoSoresi
64K Followers 7K Following “you miss 100% of the shots you take” -my high school basketball coach
Mike Scollins @mikescollins
34K Followers 1K Following From Marshfield MA. Writer for Late Night with Seth Meyers. Love horror movies. Usually have to pee. He/Him
Dan McCoy @dankmccoy
21K Followers 1K Following Creator @theflophousepod, a show about bad movies. Former (10+ years) writer at The Daily Show. Art on IG at danmccoydraws. Find me https://t.co/IMFq7Ja8tW
Sean O’Connor @seanoconnz
45K Followers 3K Following Comedian. Writer. Mets fan. SOLAR OPPOSITES (Hulu), CLOSE ENOUGH, Norm MacDonald Live and other shows.
Sara Schaefer @saraschaefer1
108K Followers 3K Following Comedian & Writer. Living the auntiecore life. The book I wrote is called GRAND. Come see my new solo show: GOING UP
Maris Kreizman @mariskreizman
81K Followers 5K Following I run The Maris Review! author of I Want To Burn This Place Down, 2025 or so from @eccobooks
Megan Gailey @megangailey
44K Followers 3K Following
lauren ashley bishop @sbellelauren
53K Followers 2K Following comedy writer. comedy performer. mother of all dogs. AR native. my brain is @deeppawghts on IG tiktok: @sbellelauren
Samantha Ruddy @samlymatters
49K Followers 2K Following Comedian from the Tonight Show & the Late Show. Dozens of followers on TikTok.
Alison Leiby @AlisonLeiby
26K Followers 2K Following you probably know me from my abortion. co-host of @ruinedpodcast
DC Pierson @DCpierson
57K Followers 6K Following Wrote the novels THE BOY WHO COULDN'T SLEEP AND NEVER HAD TO and CRAP KINGDOM. Was in DERRICK. https://t.co/RSs3cRMrDr [email protected] he/him
Jill Twiss @jilltwiss
24K Followers 1K Following Writing for @AmberMRuffin, @LastWeekTonight. Author of Marlon Bundo & The Someone New. https://t.co/adAZeQdoC5
Jena Friedman @JenaFriedman
65K Followers 694 Following Stand Up, Borat 2 writer, Daily Show alum, Late Show alum, creator of Soft Focus on Adult Swim and Indefensible on AMC Plus. Don’t quote me 🤡
Matt Goldich @MattGoldich
22K Followers 2K Following I write jokes for @latenightseth. Stand-up special NO QUESTIONS ASKED out now! https://t.co/ZzVOeIGJie
Dan Wilbur @DanWilbur
12K Followers 2K Following My 3rd grade teacher told me I had a "great way of ruining things for people." Now I do comedy. My debut album is available now: https://t.co/aA3kYgFcBR
Ted Travelstead @trumpetcake
50K Followers 5K Following I'm not everyone's cup of teeth. https://t.co/97Pa1xYSHh
Abbi Crutchfield @curlycomedy
48K Followers 5K Following Hulu, Comedy Central, truTV, NBC, CBS • I joke a lot. • Mastadon: https://t.co/UymYo2qVSc • Bluesky: https://t.co/sRjqLg32ly
Noblewoman @x43UVJTPpnqb8
49 Followers 982 Following 風雨を経験しなければ、虹を見ることはできない。磨かれなければ、ダイヤモンドになることはできない。堅持して、奮闘して、夢はついに実現します！頑張って！
Del Griffith @DellGrifith1
1K Followers 451 Following American Light & Fixture, Shower Curtain Rings. HUGE @StJohnsBball fan, proud @VillanovaU parent, Stand up comedy, love @orangetheory frustrated @yankees fan
Anthony Hutchins @AnthonyHut96787
6 Followers 38 Following
NYC ALL DAY 24/7 🍎 @nycallday247
48K Followers 9K Following We cover the Big Apple 24-7. We're here to celebrate all of the great restaurants, businesses, cultural events, stories and people that make NYC so unique.
Adam Feldman @feldman
3K Followers 3K Following
xtlv05fb16qemwi6 @crjh08spyg6q
4 Followers 363 Following You are now invited to join a (cryptocurrency) discussion group created by an international team of financial analysts. ws link:https://t.co/4nzbso9six
Tomasa ✻ MultiChain.. @tomasa__corwin
55 Followers 358 Following
Paid Protest @PaidProtest
1K Followers 3K Following Monthly DSA fundraiser comedy show. Brought to you by @ptaktestkitchen @andersleehere and @kathbarbadoro
clay boehm @clay_boehm
78 Followers 177 Following
Jess Salomon @jessjesssalomon
184 Followers 423 Following “Starting from zero, got nothing to lose” (had to make a new account) Comedian, big talker, the first “Jess” is silent
Nolan Prosacco 🕵�.. @nolan__prosacco
34 Followers 180 Following
Jenelle V @JenelleComedy
696 Followers 1K Following Artist, Aesthete, Autodidact, Alliterator, AmericanConLaw Aficionado-AndNowStandUpComedian —🌻🇺🇦🌻 #StopPutin #NeverAgain
Warren Powlowski @RyannRoble9561
52 Followers 219 Following
Eric Kleefeld @EricKleefeld
17K Followers 2K Following Senior Writer, Rapid Response at @mmfa. Neoliberal social democrat, political punned-it. (Tweets are my own.)
RoscoeAskey @AskeyRosco48913
132 Followers 2K Following
ℤ𝕆𝕆𝔹𝕌�.. @KadiriTesleem
837 Followers 2K Following I'm not a morning person, I'm a breakfast enthusiast. Dms for Ads and promotion.
Farra Bunny🐰 @floathingaround
350 Followers 427 Following Change your name to 🐰, speak in 3rd person because why the hell not🤣
Nestor ✺ Crypto-gam.. @nestor__durgan
78 Followers 139 Following
CAVEAT @caveatnyc
6K Followers 1K Following Caveat is a cabaret comedy theater located deep under Clinton Street. We champion nerdy, funny art – and sell cheap drinks. 21A Clinton Street.
I do not tweet @WittyYoghurt
0 Followers 34 Following
osama albannai | أس.. @osmbannai
195 Followers 194 Following
FERMIN 🧨 @iFerminQuigley
100 Followers 382 Following
Arnulfo ✻ PhD Dropo.. @ARNULFO_BEDNAR
109 Followers 233 Following
Doug Benson @DougBenson
722K Followers 710 Following Free podcasts: @DougLovesMovies & @WIDEWORLD0DOUGS GDWH on Patreon for only $4.20/month. https://t.co/h5TSWUbCfz https://t.co/mFxyG8qFq1 for tour dates
Barry Rattenbury @BigBagOfDaft
91 Followers 1K Following Boxing, football, cricket, snooker, sports. Films, music, great food, beer & wine.
Dr John @HonestDrJohn
2K Followers 4K Following Retired public health doctor. Peaks of what I laughingly call my ‘career’: interviewed by Anna Ford on R4 Today (1997), quoted in the New Yorker (2020).
Kash Yusaf @KashSeff
230 Followers 710 Following Just so we're clear: my views are my own and can change over time. Retweets are not always endorsements. I mean, this is Twitter after all.
Mr. Joshua’s Simond.. @JoshuaSimonSays
4K Followers 5K Following is this thing on…? Triple Threat (jewish/gay/bald). I love Trashy Horror/Trashy Humor. he/him/who?
Wes @LockW7724
286 Followers 2K Following
Dominick @Dominick_TMG
798 Followers 445 Following Owner of The Montgomery Group with clients nationwide. Co-Founder of AudienceRent. Host of The No Sleep Startup Podcast. Hyper-Learner.
rachael burke @thatsso_rachael
5K Followers 2K Following 🌻jolly af🌻 Past: @drewbarrymoretv, @BringTheFunny cast, 2 Emmy wins @FallonTonight. 🇮🇪 she/her #BLM tweets don’t reflect my employer.
sila puhl @c_lapuhl
8K Followers 639 Following goofy guy with comforting aura. Huggable. lovable. refreshed 🙌
Nicole Wright Frey @hurryupdamnit
19 Followers 119 Following
Hazle ✱ DeFi Invest.. @ChristineK61208
26 Followers 216 Following NYSE * Designing a crypto-based game * Crypto Exchange Trader, Blockchain UX designer, FX & Commodity Trader
jimmyholcomb @jimmyholcomb
131 Followers 410 Following
buster.zk 🚀 @buster_bernhard
74 Followers 197 Following
Matt O'Brien @MattOBrien2
3K Followers 633 Following Waiting for @MattOBrien to die so I can snag his username.
Kurt Hofmann @kurtjhofmann
104 Followers 213 Following
cynthiagregory @cynthiagregory
30 Followers 1K Following
Charlene Clements @chuck58lene
0 Followers 4K Following
Lula ✶ Exchange Sec.. @LULA_KOHLER91
29 Followers 148 Following Creating trustworthy smart contracts ✦ @coinbase ✦ #Marketing #Growthhacking #Writing ✦ Not Financial Advice ✦ DM for Collabs
meg @haloinrevrse
2K Followers 4K Following
Eric Schmalenberger @ES_Blunderland
1K Followers 4K Following Psychedelic sex clown and international idiot. Creative Director of Blunderland. Grandmother to an ever growing herd of circus babies, club kids, and sluts.
Josh Gondelman @joshgondelman
200K Followers 4K Following Year round iced coffee drinker. Stand-up special "People Pleaser" out now. Previously: Last Week Tonight, Mrs. Maisel, Head Writer/EP Desus & Mero.
Noah Garfinkel @NoahGarfinkel
47K Followers 1K Following Writer -- Single Parents, President Show, New Girl, Kroll Show, Workaholics. On Bluesky with the same handle.
gianmarco @GianmarcoSoresi
64K Followers 7K Following “you miss 100% of the shots you take” -my high school basketball coach
Mike Scollins @mikescollins
34K Followers 1K Following From Marshfield MA. Writer for Late Night with Seth Meyers. Love horror movies. Usually have to pee. He/Him
Dan McCoy @dankmccoy
21K Followers 1K Following Creator @theflophousepod, a show about bad movies. Former (10+ years) writer at The Daily Show. Art on IG at danmccoydraws. Find me https://t.co/IMFq7Ja8tW
Sean O’Connor @seanoconnz
45K Followers 3K Following Comedian. Writer. Mets fan. SOLAR OPPOSITES (Hulu), CLOSE ENOUGH, Norm MacDonald Live and other shows.
Sara Schaefer @saraschaefer1
108K Followers 3K Following Comedian & Writer. Living the auntiecore life. The book I wrote is called GRAND. Come see my new solo show: GOING UP
Maris Kreizman @mariskreizman
81K Followers 5K Following I run The Maris Review! author of I Want To Burn This Place Down, 2025 or so from @eccobooks
Megan Gailey @megangailey
44K Followers 3K Following
lauren ashley bishop @sbellelauren
53K Followers 2K Following comedy writer. comedy performer. mother of all dogs. AR native. my brain is @deeppawghts on IG tiktok: @sbellelauren
Samantha Ruddy @samlymatters
49K Followers 2K Following Comedian from the Tonight Show & the Late Show. Dozens of followers on TikTok.
Alison Leiby @AlisonLeiby
26K Followers 2K Following you probably know me from my abortion. co-host of @ruinedpodcast
DC Pierson @DCpierson
57K Followers 6K Following Wrote the novels THE BOY WHO COULDN'T SLEEP AND NEVER HAD TO and CRAP KINGDOM. Was in DERRICK. https://t.co/RSs3cRMrDr [email protected] he/him
Jill Twiss @jilltwiss
24K Followers 1K Following Writing for @AmberMRuffin, @LastWeekTonight. Author of Marlon Bundo & The Someone New. https://t.co/adAZeQdoC5
Jena Friedman @JenaFriedman
65K Followers 694 Following Stand Up, Borat 2 writer, Daily Show alum, Late Show alum, creator of Soft Focus on Adult Swim and Indefensible on AMC Plus. Don’t quote me 🤡
Matt Goldich @MattGoldich
22K Followers 2K Following I write jokes for @latenightseth. Stand-up special NO QUESTIONS ASKED out now! https://t.co/ZzVOeIGJie
Dan Wilbur @DanWilbur
12K Followers 2K Following My 3rd grade teacher told me I had a "great way of ruining things for people." Now I do comedy. My debut album is available now: https://t.co/aA3kYgFcBR
Ted Travelstead @trumpetcake
50K Followers 5K Following I'm not everyone's cup of teeth. https://t.co/97Pa1xYSHh
Abbi Crutchfield @curlycomedy
48K Followers 5K Following Hulu, Comedy Central, truTV, NBC, CBS • I joke a lot. • Mastadon: https://t.co/UymYo2qVSc • Bluesky: https://t.co/sRjqLg32ly
Del Griffith @DellGrifith1
1K Followers 451 Following American Light & Fixture, Shower Curtain Rings. HUGE @StJohnsBball fan, proud @VillanovaU parent, Stand up comedy, love @orangetheory frustrated @yankees fan
Matt O'Brien @MattOBrien2
3K Followers 633 Following Waiting for @MattOBrien to die so I can snag his username.
Doug Benson @DougBenson
722K Followers 710 Following Free podcasts: @DougLovesMovies & @WIDEWORLD0DOUGS GDWH on Patreon for only $4.20/month. https://t.co/h5TSWUbCfz https://t.co/mFxyG8qFq1 for tour dates
New York Comedy Festi.. @nycomedyfest
6K Followers 574 Following We'll see you November 3-12! #makeNYlaugh
Death Wish Coffee Co. @DeathWishCoffee
111K Followers 4K Following
sila puhl @c_lapuhl
8K Followers 639 Following goofy guy with comforting aura. Huggable. lovable. refreshed 🙌
rachael burke @thatsso_rachael
5K Followers 2K Following 🌻jolly af🌻 Past: @drewbarrymoretv, @BringTheFunny cast, 2 Emmy wins @FallonTonight. 🇮🇪 she/her #BLM tweets don’t reflect my employer.
Jane Marie @SeeJaneMarie
24K Followers 2K Following Host of The Dream, EP of Michelle Obama: The Light Podcast.// Author of SELLING THE DREAM. STAR (lol) of Dear Jane Marie. Call for advice 323.248.1488
Jonathan Groff @NotThatGroff
3K Followers 1K Following TV Writer/Producer: Happy Endings, Black-ish, LNWCO’B, 5X Jeopardy! champ. Star of Hamilton and Glee. Inexplicably confused with the other Jonathan Groff.
Noah Jones - FWRD MGM.. @noahjones
1K Followers 745 Following TV Lit manager, IP scout, cat-wrangler and malcontent. he/him. Not taking on new clients at the moment. @noahjones on Hive Social @noahjones.bsky.social
Mia Wilson @miawilsoncomedy
257 Followers 165 Following Comic/writer. My entire identity is Illinois.
Today Years Old @todayyearsoldig
1.0M Followers 119 Following Your source for the latest trends, discoveries, and most shocking truths & little-known facts about the world. 🚀 DM us your findings!
Maggie Serota @maggieserota
31K Followers 4K Following journo/writer/copywriter repped by @CRSRipley formerly: @spin @tumblr bylines: a whole bunch of places. [email protected]
stringcheese zucker @sophierzucker
7K Followers 1K Following comedian! @nymag comic to watch. writer for @thedailyshow & other stuff.
Louise Crawford @Bksocial
1K Followers 1K Following Publicity maven. Cultural enthusiast. Podcast obsessive. Lover of creativity. Passionate about books. Wordsmith. @bksocial on Instagram.
Lex Vaughn @AlexaVaughn
3K Followers 3K Following Founder & Editor of @TheNeedling, Seattle's Only Real Fake News. Pulitzer Prize-winning real real news reporter. @4culture 2024 Arc Artist Fellow
You Don’t Nomi ✨ @KassSmiley
1K Followers 3K Following Standup sometimes🎤 Movie fan always🍿Trapped in an Arctic Wasteland
Sarah D @sarahdcomedy
436 Followers 537 Following 🇺🇸🎤 Standup comedian and Podcast Queen 👑 👵🏻Doyenne of Expat Paris TikTok 💻 ✨New Standup Show✨The Only American in Paris✨Likely on IG 🤳
Ted Tremper @tedtremper
1K Followers 563 Following Amateur Woodworker. Co-Creator of SHRINK on Peacock. Formerly of The Daily Show, Borat 2, and showrunner of This Week at the Comedy Cellar on Comedy Central.
Lizz "Insufferable We.. @lizzwinstead
127K Followers 4K Following Comic, CoCreator: The Daily Show. Podcast: Feminist Buzzkills Live, drops Fridays. She/Her #AbortionAF Booking:[email protected] Views my own.
Reed Kavner @reedkavner
2K Followers 940 Following I had a popular show on Quibi but then it shut down so you'll just have to take my word for it.
Elizabeth Zephyrine M.. @Elizazeph
379 Followers 383 Following Actress. Writer. Director. Stunt Dog. 🐩 @TheDailyShow, @NewYorker, @FullFrontalSamB
Pjörk🐷 @NicoleConlan
10K Followers 1K Following writer for @TheDailyShow, personal assistant to my dog
Dumb Industries @DumbIndustries
1K Followers 615 Following The Mads Are Back | The Dave Hill Goodtime Hour | The Mary Jo Pehl Show | Jackey Neyman Jones: The Hands of Paint
demi adejuyigbe @electrolemon
214K Followers 292 Following director and comedian and musician and writer (the good place, new warriors, late late show, amber ruffin show, strange planet, neon, + more)
Stephanie O. @StandUpStephO
28 Followers 207 Following Comedian. Traveler. Dog-lover. People tolerator.
Kara Goucher @karagoucher
150K Followers 352 Following ❤️family, friendships, animals and 🏃🏻♀️Be the change. 2 x OLY, World🥈Athlete-Advisor @oiselle, @brooksrunning, @NBCsports analyst, @nytimesbooks bestseller.
Scott Hercman @Scoherc
197 Followers 388 Following
Runner's World @runnersworld
1.6M Followers 11K Following Training tips, news, and motivation from the editors of Runner's World. Sign up for our newsletter: https://t.co/pR2YVFWaOj
Danny Gallagher @thisisdannyg
2K Followers 2K Following Writer for @mst3k Halloween show, @dmagazine, @yardbarker and @MockyShow; watch us riff on Twitch Tuesdays at 8 pm central at https://t.co/it6NYvwtVG
Dan Calverley @dancalverley
978 Followers 1K Following Researcher on climate & energy. Co-founder, producer, word-wrangler @clim8uncensored. PhD env. eng. 5 yrs cycling the world, studying forms of the good life.
Joe “Legacy Blue”.. @Stapes
44K Followers 1K Following Comedian. Poker guy. Upward failer. Hooker w/ a ❤️ of gold. Stand-up Bookings: [email protected] Commercials: Adam Lieblein, Eris Talent (424) 389-0008
Kate Manegold @katemanegold
498 Followers 1K Following Social @Hulu. Formerly @TheDailyShow, @PrimeVideo. Sleepy girl ✨
Katie Hannigan @katiehannigan
15K Followers 2K Following comedian experiencing a mood swing. cohost of https://t.co/GiMmUpPPj7.
City Winery @CityWineryNYC
16K Followers 2K Following Manhattan's Only Working Winery • Premier Intimate Music Venue • Restaurant • Private Event Space
Sharron Paul @Sharronica
4K Followers 3K Following Television Writer/Actress/Comedian/Wedding Officiant. Comedy producer for @truTVjokers, Season 9. Host of @CheapDateComedy show. I play concert-level triangle.
Christine Ko @Christine_Ko
14K Followers 329 Following Emma @daveonfxx | Nina @onlymurdershulu | Angela #Tigertail | Lily #TheHandmaidsTale | 葛曉潔
Julia Young @okjulia
19K Followers 906 Following universally beloved writer, producer and comedian previously- writer and co-executive producer on @SHODesusAndMero
90 Day Fidance @ianimal69
35K Followers 2K Following CIGS // SKA // CATS // i go where eagles dare / My debut special WILD HAPPY & FREE, Bein Ian with Jordan podcast & patreon + tour dates ⬇️⬇️⬇️
Meredith Haggerty @meredithaggerty
18K Followers 6K Following Formerly known as @manymanywords. Hate capitalism; love amenities. https://t.co/gJFyp8BJMh. Senior editor, Culture @voxdotcom. Past: @racked, @thegoods. She/her.
with conan o'brien back in the news gotta share one of my favorite bits of his: the 'walker texas ranger' lever
All the Conan O'Brien love reminds me of the time NBC merged with Universal Studios (who owned the rights to Walker Texas Ranger), so Conan installed a Walker Texas Ranger lever to play clips anytime he wanted
shut the ever living fuck up
Reese Witherspoon shares her thoughts on AI. “It’s here to stay, so just get used to it. And I think AI is not coming for your job; people who know how to use AI are coming for your job. So learn about it. It should be a tool upon which we lay our own creativity, our own…
I take back everything I’ve said
This is how Jupiter protects Earth. It acts as a gatekeeper for our planet, preventing most asteroids from entering the inner orbits of the solar system.
@mattkoff Lots of great scenes in that movie. Very nice murderer.
This is tonight! Use code PENCILS for discount tickets: eventbrite.com/e/pencils-down… @felipetmedinaa @DinaGusovsky @natashavaynblat @mattkoff @caveatnyc #JordanJensen
what your favorite bagel says about you
"you didn't feel nuthin'" - New Jersey earthquakes
Late at night is my me-time. I like to lie in bed and think about 15 years ago when some girl called me a short f*ck.
While you are all filling out brackets, I am filling out muscle. While you are watching the games, I am watching the gains. When they cut down the nets, I cut down the carbs. You have your one shining moment, I am swole for a lifetime.
A great lineup of TV writers trying out new jokes 3/11 at @caveatnyc. @dopequeenpheebs! (Everything’s Trash) @dinahashem_! (Amazon Prime) Michael Cruz Kayne! (Colbert) Sal Gentile! (Seth Meyers) Hosted by me and Matt Koff caveat.nyc/events/pencils… Discount code: PENCILS
Hydration tip! Add some flavor to your water so drinking it doesn’t seem like a chore ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Working out a new solo show Thursday downstairs at @sohoplayhouse in Manhattan Special guest, The Daily Show’s @mattkoff !!
It’s finally here! My stand-up special NO QUESTIONS ASKED will be out February 13. If you only watch one vanity project from a 44-year-old father of two this year, this is the one! Please share far and wide! And make sure to subscribe to my YouTube. youtube.com/mattgoldich?su…
A heart wrenching decision but my very sick and pained cat dying of kidney disease is packing his things for the rainbow bridge tomorrow. He loved everyone on Twitter who liked his Caturday posts. This is the hardest.
Baby’s first out of town sellout!
Elmo says don’t do genocide
I know how hard it is some days to sweep the clouds away and get to sunnier days. Our friend Elmo is right: We have to be there for each other, offer our help to a neighbor in need, and above all else, ask for help when we need it. Even though it's hard, you're never alone.
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