Andy Ryan @ItsAndyRyan
Recent nonsense: https://t.co/yUY55mGY6g twitter.com/ItsAndyRyan/ti… Narnia business Joined July 2012-
Tweets134K
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Followers36K
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Following787
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Likes173K
I wonder why we need 'a' before most fractions - "a third of the population voted Yes", "a fifth of the pie" - but not before half (or sometimes) quarter: "Half of the population disagreed".
Keep seeing Facebook memes from older people talking about how they'd be out all day playing when they were younger, not like the kids of today. Posted by the same generations that got rid of all the swings, roundabouts, zip wires etc in my town's parks.
Bought my daughter a cheap 'Miss Piggy' purse but sadly it was very pork wallety.
It was a wake-up call for me a couple of years ago when a woman mutual of several years said to me "Have you not noticed that you only ever reply to me to disagree?". And I hadn't noticed, but she was completely right.
It was a wake-up call for me a couple of years ago when a woman mutual of several years said to me "Have you not noticed that you only ever reply to me to disagree?". And I hadn't noticed, but she was completely right.
I'm trying to work out why this is so much more annoying that all the different actors who've played Winston Churchill or other historical figures - many of whom bare no better resemblance. Are The Beatles more iconic looking, is it cos they're more recent (with two still alive)?
There's was an upgrade this week to Photoshop Beta's generative AI. You can upload pics to use as a guide for generated images. Anyone know if it can produce images like this, that form a new image if you squint? (have fun picking out all the weirdness in this pic)
Watched Predator again last night and it takes maybe 35 minutes (a third of the film!) for the Predator even to start 'appearing' as an unseen presence. Before then it's all the jungle mission. I think only From Dusk Til Dawn waits so long for the main plot to even start.
Me: The animal rights people were waving placards outside a lab Her: Protesting? Me: No, they seemed pretty against it
Streaming channels should make it easier to see what specifically they've got on offer. Like, if I get the Disney channel, have they got the first Terminator film, or the second season of Will Trent? It's very hard to find out.
1970s cinema was peak "By the way, one of these characters has a massive dong". The Godfather, The Godfather II [a different character!], M*A*S*H, Young Frankenstein.
A good rule of thumb: If you see a screenshot of a really dumb tweet from a divisive figure, it's probably fake, especially if it doesn't turn up when you search.
Watching a film with my daughter Her: I don't understand who this guy is Me: That's because the film began 20 seconds ago
Every farm activity sounds like an indie band from 2008
trying to prove a point…vote honestly without googling first please….is amsterdam a city or a country, and are you american or not american?
Saw a duck on a roof so took a couple of pics. Then my horrified 12yo daughter said "Go go go - there's an elderly couple in there staring at you taking pics of their house!" Half an hour later she's still dying of embarrassment.
The letter “d” in Dunstable is load-bearing. Take it away & see what happens
Collected an Indian takeaway last night and the guy told me that on the phone I sound just like Rishi Sunak. I've still not recovered. Incidentally, don't know if this is prescient or an omen, but autocorrect kept changing that to Rishi Sunk.
Moose Allain Ꙭ @MooseAllain
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GlennyRodge @GlennyRodge
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Olaf Falafel @OFalafel
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joe heenan @joeheenan
67K Followers 3K Following Award losing stand up comedian. Co host of Stu & Joe's Big Dumb Film Show. Subscribe here https://t.co/Ts0zTiHNI9
Craig Deeley 🇪🇺.. @craiguito
21K Followers 7K Following I do stand-up and tweet silly things. My podcast Trish of the Day out now, link below.
Flups @TheRealFlups
19K Followers 380 Following I am 67.3% certain I once saw Jeremy Paxman eating a sandwich at Warwick Castle.
Ian Power @IHPower
17K Followers 448 Following If any of my tweets annoy you, please remember I'm just trying to have a laugh. If none of my tweets have annoyed you, be patient, they will.
FRO VO @fro_vo
42K Followers 1K Following 🦋 @frovo.bsky.social - - TOP TWEETS: https://t.co/NZPHrTUDjC -- Recent Tweets: https://t.co/4WK3dR41F1 -- STORE: https://t.co/YaxNssq5DC
mutable joe @mutablejoe
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Pundamentalism @Pundamentalism
102K Followers 1K Following Puns don't kill people. Writer. DM for work enquiries.
Nick Pettigrew @Nick_Pettigrew
33K Followers 1K Following The paperback edition of ‘Anti Social’ is out now. Buy it, why don’t you?
fredesque @FredTaming
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61K Followers 912 Following I write music for TV so you don’t have to. Baskerville’s dad. Paul’s son. Ember’s accompanist.
Paul Eggleston @pauleggleston
10K Followers 984 Following I still haven't found my 'I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For' CD. Oh wait, there it is, under my 'Whoomp! (There It Is)' CD... (Puns, Am Dram, Cats)
Gilbert Baker Film Fe.. @GilbertBakerFF
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Jeremy Legg @jdleggcan
649 Followers 814 Following Self-employment. ME/CFS; law grad; trilingual; Christian; would-be writer. Supporting local music scene/festivals. Car maintenance. Fishing.
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rich @Chocolate_Lurv
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55-Year Astros Fan �.. @LauraInHouston
116 Followers 1K Following Married w/ 2 grown sons and a wonderful daughter-in-law. Love my job @ VA rehabbing vets after stroke, hip and knee replacement, amputation, etc. #Ready2Reign
Abigail Johnston, Esq.. @AMJohnston1315
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Leen McBeans ꪜ @LeenMcBeans
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Graaayham @graaayham
40 Followers 310 Following Idiot, Joker, Overthinker. Wine Drinker. I ride and run so I don’t punch people. Mental Health champion
Benoit @Bennytheballs
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Greg Kauffman @gregk78
537 Followers 3K Following anthropologist. hiv ed & mental health advocate. horror gay. writer. david lynch groupie. music fanatic. person. funny. old soul. #horrorcommunity
Moose Allain Ꙭ @MooseAllain
139K Followers 3K Following He/him. Illustrator, cartoonist, husband, father, son, brother, uncle, nephew, cousin, second cousin, grandson, friend, acquaintance, enemy. @[email protected]
GlennyRodge @GlennyRodge
27K Followers 1K Following Screenwriter, comedian, actor, socialist and model. These are words. As are custard, trumpet, wardrobe, trousers and dandelion.
Olaf Falafel @OFalafel
78K Followers 1K Following Funniest Joke Edinburgh Fringe 2019-2022. Comedian, kids book author, illustrator, Art person. #LTFC Bum-faced snail badges here: https://t.co/Z2wz0N3D2h
joe heenan @joeheenan
67K Followers 3K Following Award losing stand up comedian. Co host of Stu & Joe's Big Dumb Film Show. Subscribe here https://t.co/Ts0zTiHNI9
Craig Deeley 🇪🇺.. @craiguito
21K Followers 7K Following I do stand-up and tweet silly things. My podcast Trish of the Day out now, link below.
Flups @TheRealFlups
19K Followers 380 Following I am 67.3% certain I once saw Jeremy Paxman eating a sandwich at Warwick Castle.
Ian Power @IHPower
17K Followers 448 Following If any of my tweets annoy you, please remember I'm just trying to have a laugh. If none of my tweets have annoyed you, be patient, they will.
FRO VO @fro_vo
42K Followers 1K Following 🦋 @frovo.bsky.social - - TOP TWEETS: https://t.co/NZPHrTUDjC -- Recent Tweets: https://t.co/4WK3dR41F1 -- STORE: https://t.co/YaxNssq5DC
mutable joe @mutablejoe
48K Followers 1K Following former blue tick | [email protected] | represented by @jounwin | buy me a coffee https://t.co/ohy98SjCxh
Pundamentalism @Pundamentalism
102K Followers 1K Following Puns don't kill people. Writer. DM for work enquiries.
Nick Pettigrew @Nick_Pettigrew
33K Followers 1K Following The paperback edition of ‘Anti Social’ is out now. Buy it, why don’t you?
fredesque @FredTaming
27K Followers 892 Following black & trans lives matter | stop asian hate | 🏳️🌈 🏳️⚧️ friendly | he/him | fka taming fr*d s*vage |
Nick Harvey @mrnickharvey
61K Followers 912 Following I write music for TV so you don’t have to. Baskerville’s dad. Paul’s son. Ember’s accompanist.
Paul Eggleston @pauleggleston
10K Followers 984 Following I still haven't found my 'I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For' CD. Oh wait, there it is, under my 'Whoomp! (There It Is)' CD... (Puns, Am Dram, Cats)
Alex Kealy @alexkealy
10K Followers 5K Following Stand-up comic + writer. Host of @gigpigspodcast with @ivograham Linktree (insta, site, tix,podcast, mailing list): https://t.co/y7WlYi4kDd
Dean Ayass @DeanAyass
1K Followers 935 Following British wrestling commentator & manager since 1993, @becausewcw podcaster, The Twisted Genius and #itfc fan.
kenzi @kenzianidiot
62K Followers 4K Following follow me for my dads weekly agendas! im also medium funny and have a very cute dog. | marketing at @dropout | she/her
Rick Burin @rickbur1n
810 Followers 648 Following I write stuff. @Guardian @theipaper @SightSoundmag @empiremagazine. Press @royalalberthall. Fan of Lillian Gish. “Well, you gotta live, no matter what happens.”
Hunter📈🌈 @StatisticUrban
15K Followers 4K Following Data scientist │ MS in CS, stats, biochemistry │ Current Econ MS student │ 🇺🇸🇩🇪🇬🇧 Policy-centered tweets about tech, bio, urbanism, economics, & politics
Brandon Bradford @BrandonLBradfor
28K Followers 9K Following Poli Consultant, GhostWriter, good Ramen savant, Military Brat, Activist, Columnist, Renewable Energy Exec. https://t.co/6vfQo7QnfJ
Caelan Conrad @CaelanConrad
37K Followers 652 Following Subscribe to Youtube: https://t.co/zA8OwVpgNc🔸Podcast: @_RespectTheDead 🔸Video Essayist, Writer & VFX Artist 🔸I do it for Dale (RIP) 🔸 (they)
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349 Followers 361 Following Features editor at @InvestmentWeek, All views are my own, DMs open to tips, probably the last journo to join Twitter, lover of ugly sneakers
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14K Followers 5K Following Leeds man & audio/comedy producer: @leadmojo JFSP Sinha @SoundHeapInc @anystupidqs etc. More jokes than opinions. I don't go on about my awards. Pic: @redfacts.
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Alf @whoelsebutalf
16K Followers 15K Following Devon Comedian Chris Leworthy from #BGT. Oh no, I've just won the UK Humblebrag championships again. #TraitorsUK #TheTraitorsUK #MaskedSingerUK #UKPunDay
@victoriaredfern.bsky.. @drtoriaredfern
634 Followers 1K Following 'You're one of us now.' - Doug Anthony All-Stars. Made in Scotland from girders. Singular 'they' was first recorded in 1375. #MDANT http://victoriaredfern.bsky.
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Rob Manuel 🍳 @robmanuel
44K Followers 882 Following I do @b3ta / @fesshole / @anon_opin - email: robmanuel @ gmail dot com - Buy The New Fesstament: https://t.co/VVRUZVMkuT
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1.6M Followers 1K Following self-proclaimed free thinker https://t.co/r8TGRYgBAG
Paul Rooney #MDANT @TimalloyPaul
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Stevie Vegas (Steve t.. @SteveJuggler
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17K Followers 2K Following Be funny, be kind, but ffs stop saying literally. My best hits: https://t.co/aXLLBNuMx3 🐎 💜
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Please report this account for using disabled slurs. This bully is making life a little less safe for people like me.
If you’re a mong on a train, wearing a mask, trying to frighten people into believing there is some deadly virus that will kill or maim people indiscriminately. I’m going to take a photo of you, call you a mong, post it and expose you. I’m not putting up with mongs anymore
what a cunt this tweeter is. maybe, just maybe, he's protecting himself? maybe just maybe, it's nothing to do with a deadly virus and he simply doesn't want to pick up your cuntagious cunt virus?
If you’re a mong on a train, wearing a mask, trying to frighten people into believing there is some deadly virus that will kill or maim people indiscriminately. I’m going to take a photo of you, call you a mong, post it and expose you. I’m not putting up with mongs anymore
@chrislittlewoo8 A personal message for you, Chris:
@lanc5la55 @chrislittlewoo8 He’s literally the one driving the division.
@chrislittlewoo8 Some people are immuno-compromised and doing this for themselves, no-one else, no agenda. They may have a loved one with cancer at home, and an infection could stop them from visiting or hinder a chemo session. You never know other peoples' stories.
@HorrorUnpacked @johndrewmarkley gallows humour is for the people on the gallows, not the spectators. wtf.
@HorrorUnpacked @johndrewmarkley it's pretty easy to draw if you have a sense of self. your suffering? totally okay. your friend's? depends on the friendship. a stranger? not unless you are fight up close to the suffering and need it as a coping mechanism (and in that case, keep it amongst yourselves)
@johndrewmarkley I'm not particularly fond of the displaced manufacturing workers in the Midwest who all voted for trump in 2016. I wouldn't say I despise them. But I think it would be in poor taste to ridicule them for opiate addiction and such.
@JiffjoffI Dude this is so stupid. You are not "punching up" when you attack trans folks, people of color, disabled folks. They do not have "sacral status." This is so patently false that is almost funny.
@JiffjoffI Except they haven’t been given this status you mention. You’re literally imagining it 🤣 unless you’re referring to equity? Which marginalized groups still don’t have.
@JiffjoffI blacks and trans have not been 'given sacral status's". all that's happened is that people have become more aware of people who want to harm them and challenges they face that the rest of the population doesn't.
@JiffjoffI "Haha, did you know that the best way to ridicule power is not to ridicule those who have power, but to make fun of the people they have power over! I'm a genius."
@johndrewmarkley “Which groups do you think are beneath you?” is a wild tweet.
@johndrewmarkley I try to avoid picking on someone if it really seems like they're having some kind of mental crisis I do not always succeed
@jailedamanda People have to purposely be misspelling “losing” right?
@LazlosGhost @jailedamanda I mean he should have. It’s not hubris to be excited about a great actor in a great role and what they can do in the future. Death happens and it’s not hubris to not foresee a great actor passing away before his time.
@Trev0rSwole Can you not find the block button? Is it like trying to find your dick without the big light on?
Climate change
What’s going on here then. £8 for a tiny bottle of olive oil ?
@ItsAndyRyan @Dorianlynskey Some of these people make a living claiming to be a political prophet and insider
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