JodingersCat-astrophe @JMoneySlimer
If you think I post a lot of crap, you should see what I delete: Ghost account for @JodingersCat mobile.twitter.com/search?q=from%… Litter Box Joined May 2017-
Tweets9K
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Followers2K
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Following2K
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Likes9K
JodingersCat-astrophe retweeted
Teardrop tattoos but for bags of Doritos I’ve killed
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JodingersCat-astrophe retweeted
perusing the shampoo aisle, ranking the bottles from "most like a dildo" to "least like a dildo"
JodingersCat-astrophe retweeted
I’m like a sexy hamburger helper cause I like to mix it up.
JodingersCat-astrophe retweeted
*me as a podcast host* Please follow my guests, I'm not certain they continue to exist when they aren't being perceived
JodingersCat-astrophe retweeted
Drank a boatload of caffeine on an empty stomach, so naturally I'm somewhere between a raging bull and a chihuahua.
JodingersCat-astrophe retweeted
I’d put you at the top of my MySpace friends list, baby.
JodingersCat-astrophe retweeted
You ask for a Swedish massage and then get mad when I roll meatballs on your back
JodingersCat-astrophe retweeted
“Where seldom is heard a discouraging word” so, the opposite of Twitter, then
JodingersCat-astrophe retweeted
I once bought a $40 souvenir book from an art exhibit about anti-capitalism 📚
JodingersCat-astrophe retweeted
People are worse than ever right now. This has to be rock bottom right?
JodingersCat-astrophe retweeted
Homeowners: we want some crown moulding in the dining room, and a bunch of holes in the outside of the house Carpenter Bees: [nodding] sounds good
JodingersCat-astrophe retweeted
me: oh cool this concert is only $25 ticketmaster: bitch you thought
JodingersCat-astrophe retweeted
In my day we walked uphill to school both ways in flip flops from Old Navy and toe rings.
JodingersCat-astrophe retweeted
Buying muffins at Costco like July doesn’t exist
JodingersCat-astrophe retweeted
Interviewer: Can you give me a recent example of when you faced a difficult task that you worked through? Me: Recent? I: Yes, within the last six months. Me: *knowing the most recent one is I had to saw off a toilet seat to put the new on one* Sigh.
JodingersCat-astrophe retweeted
Just so we're all clear, the plural of Roomba is Roombae Receptionist quietly into phone: Security? Yeah. He's back
JodingersCat-astrophe retweeted
my husband secretly hates that i’m the funny one
JodingersCat-astrophe retweeted
Me: *places a hold on a book in the Libby app* Libby app: There’s a 36 week wait on this book. Me: *starts another book while I wait* *two hours later* Libby app: Your hold is ready.
JodingersCat-astrophe retweeted
Adulting means being able to play with your food.
JodingersCat-astrophe retweeted
One of my neighbours has been learning to play the bagpipes, so yeah, anyways that’s been fun
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Teardrop tattoos but for bags of Doritos I’ve killed
perusing the shampoo aisle, ranking the bottles from "most like a dildo" to "least like a dildo"
I’m like a sexy hamburger helper cause I like to mix it up.
*me as a podcast host* Please follow my guests, I'm not certain they continue to exist when they aren't being perceived
Drank a boatload of caffeine on an empty stomach, so naturally I'm somewhere between a raging bull and a chihuahua.
I’d put you at the top of my MySpace friends list, baby.
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People are worse than ever right now. This has to be rock bottom right?
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me: oh cool this concert is only $25 ticketmaster: bitch you thought
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Adulting means being able to play with your food.
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