Marilynn @Marilynn
I'm unique... just like everyone else. Colorado Joined July 2007-
Tweets2K
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Followers103
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Following155
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Likes2K
"Fucks SAKE, THIS BASTARD CHAIR"
STOP SACRIFICING GOATS I NEVER SAID I WANTED GOATS
Fridge ice dispenser- when you want some ice in your cup but also some on the floor
Animal shelters will be like "Labrador mix" when it is clear a Husky fucked a chihuahua
Detroit style pizza means it was dropped in the parking lot
I just bought two dolphins on the dark web
Which button in the Uber app is for turning down the driver’s cologne?
There are people out there running marathons and I’m just on the couch trying to drag the remote and m&m’s over to me with a pillow.
I’ve made some bad decisions in my life, but never any so bad as locking wild monkeys in my car like Tom Green did
Why did they get rid of the rides in front of grocery stores? Kids still need these.
Calling in tomorrow in advance because I just had Mongolian Beef at the hospital cafeteria.
My uncle died after a long battle with Covid and a much, much shorter battle with a pack of wild coyotes.
There’s a test hole you can climb through at Mesa Verde to make sure you don’t get stuck in the real hole
We should still think it’s weird that some birds can talk, but it’s like everyone has just accepted it
I’ll make a PB&J with a butcher knife before I’ll hand wash a butter knife.
I ate what I thought was a potato chip off the floor but it was one of those helicopter leaf things
Has everyone forgotten about getting your film developed and then you discover that in every picture, everyone’s eyes are glowing red like T2?
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Fridge ice dispenser- when you want some ice in your cup but also some on the floor
Animal shelters will be like "Labrador mix" when it is clear a Husky fucked a chihuahua
Detroit style pizza means it was dropped in the parking lot
I just bought two dolphins on the dark web
Which button in the Uber app is for turning down the driver’s cologne?
There are people out there running marathons and I’m just on the couch trying to drag the remote and m&m’s over to me with a pillow.
Calling in tomorrow in advance because I just had Mongolian Beef at the hospital cafeteria.
My uncle died after a long battle with Covid and a much, much shorter battle with a pack of wild coyotes.
I ate what I thought was a potato chip off the floor but it was one of those helicopter leaf things
coroner: it's natural, just air escaping the body my wife: could we remove the kazoo
I didn’t want to have to involve the Muppets, but I had no choice.
In the autumn there are two types of creatures who collect acorns: squirrels and toddlers
The video that NASA does not want you to see!
When the tables have turned.. 😂
My 6yo loudly announced that her "botch" was itchy, and when we inquired as to what a botch was, she said, "Between your butt and your crotch...your BOTCH"