Stap the Mattness @Stap_Jr
GOOD. GREAT. GRAND. WONDERFUL. EVERYBODY ON THE BUS https://t.co/glzMoTuoeZ Ontario, Canada Joined January 2011-
Tweets51K
-
Followers5K
-
Following2K
-
Likes74K
Stap the Mattness retweeted
Self checkout screen asked me to review the store. Well, you didn’t have the two things I came in for and I cut myself on a shelf so I think I’ll skip it today.
3
8
49
1K
0
Stap the Mattness retweeted
i’m finding this year after year thing pretty tedious & have decided i no longer have time for it
Stap the Mattness retweeted
The invitation said "until: ?" I've been at this bbq for 6 years.
Stap the Mattness retweeted
My family has started a 2000 piece puzzle. I’m gonna need you guys to stop by and find all the gray pieces with blue on them.
Headset on. Talking into my headset. Coworker standing beside me awkwardly- “hey are you on a call?”
Stap the Mattness retweeted
A simpler time, when only some of hell would break loose.
Bubly is interesting, they’ve got flavours like peach and orange, but the ingredients are carbonated water and “natural flavours”. Okay, so like peaches and oranges?
Stap the Mattness retweeted
sewing a quilt made out of nicotine patches
Stap the Mattness retweeted
Well, I’ve settled on a wall calendar. So that’s handled.
When basketball players flex both biceps after getting the ball in the net, like how heavy is that basketball? Must be pretty heavy.
Stap the Mattness retweeted
eating ice cream every time i want a smoke i’m swelling i’m swell things are going swell
Stap the Mattness retweeted
Building a snowman so I can punch it in the face
Stap the Mattness retweeted
trying to turn feeling like I got hit by a truck into something positive
Stap the Mattness retweeted
Babe you keep knocking the drinks over with your puffy coat
Stap the Mattness retweeted
Holy shit, you guys, I got to use my car’s extended warranty.
Stap the Mattness retweeted
why the fuck does my furnace smell like Cocoa Puffs
Stap the Mattness retweeted
Mom’s spaghetti, winter’s about to get heavy (putting on my snowsuit) you get me
Stap the Mattness retweeted
My God, the weather outside IS frightful. It's all coming true.
Married couple out jogging together like their new year’s resolution is to get a divorce.
Stap the Mattness retweeted
My vibe? Being on a fifth round of trying to scrub burnt food off a cookie sheet and slowly starting to give up on life and everything it has to offer.
Böb Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke
39K Followers 10K Following Chicago Member FDIC Views are my own because you're not brave enough I write this for fun https://t.co/heH4IlIEWZ I know who DB Cooper is.
Annie Hatfield @AnneHatfieldVO
48K Followers 6K Following Tall, pale, relentlessly cheerful. https://t.co/vhLLPJmuO2
Salty MacTavish 🇺�.. @SaltyMacTavish
13K Followers 9K Following We hardly talk about clams anymore and frankly I’m steamed about it https://t.co/MEeOiowPL2
Trey @treydayway
41K Followers 6K Following *Something profound* - @treydayway https://t.co/c64nfwFO1X
The B. @anerdonfire2
37K Followers 13K Following My thoughts were full of other things when I wandered off the path. Dante Alighieri, Inferno
Midge @mxmclain
35K Followers 2K Following Relentless architect of my own hell, curator of seasonal profanities, cultural symbol
Benny 'Bluesky' Rolli.. @citizenkawala
21K Followers 8K Following Australian Jim Morrison | Real person | Dave's mate | 1053 https://t.co/PN73YRdrct
Not Today Eric @NotTodayEric
27K Followers 9K Following Gen X Superhero. Old people jokes for my old people followers. 90’s Kid Alumni. #cheeseburgers
Tony P. @Tbone7219
43K Followers 19K Following
Boyd's Backyard™ @TheBoydP
102K Followers 20K Following I’d rather be working on my yard. #envydastrength I retweet regular people. My tweets are here: https://t.co/zOIJ18SHBV
Marcmywords @Marcmywords2
55K Followers 50K Following Tweeting Live From The Capital Of The Who Dat Nation. https://t.co/92vEozoAvo
Jack Boot @IamJackBoot
13K Followers 1K Following The New Yorker, Vanity Fair, The Atlantic, Harper's, Rolling Stone. I've read some of these magazines.
❤️🔥PamsMyth.. @mrsauntiepam
4K Followers 2K Following The answer is granny panties and a tank top, stop asking. If you want to - find me at that blue place I guess, it's going to get quiet here ⬅️
Dan Regan @DanRegan_Comedy
25K Followers 7K Following Comedian//Comedy Writer Sometimes I write funny stuff so keep checking. https://t.co/QwGtdvzVph
Grant Tanaka: Honky @GrantTanaka
37K Followers 5K Following Anatomically correct. For the most part.
Treva Ashing @tre_ashi
66 Followers 5K Following
Eva Amaker @amak_eva
88 Followers 5K Following
Donnie Plateros @plater_donn
60 Followers 5K Following
Hanna Cushenberry @CushenberrHa
29 Followers 5K Following
Sue❤🇨🇦 @Emsrsue
71K Followers 23K Following Proud mom and professional suitcase packer. Exploring the world one adventure at a time.
Immanuel @Immanuel1273
504 Followers 5K Following
Here's Johnny D🌞 @venture675
713 Followers 5K Following Customer service with a smile!!! I wonder what movie franchise serial killer they have you fawning over today?
Jamie Simmons @JamieSim68
23 Followers 374 Following
Learnalittlebitmore @Tom44926730
24K Followers 19K Following As a survivor of many laps around the sun I write about it. #amwriting #writer
Nance Arndt @nancearndt88
12 Followers 22 Following
Courtney @chessercourtney
48 Followers 450 Following
Cynfully Sweet @CynfullySweetXO
47K Followers 5K Following whiskey girl, tech professional, adventure seeker, AI impersonator. if you don't have something nice to say, fuck off. if you think you like me, you shouldn't.
Brooks Walsh @BrooksWalsh
7K Followers 2K Following Emergency physician, devoted student of emergency electrocardiography and echocardiography. Plus all the other stuff. @brookswalsh.bsky.social
Hello! My Name Is: Hu.. @AKlein1981
1K Followers 4K Following Wubba Lubba Dub Dub. Nobody exists on purpose. Nobody belongs anywhere. Everybody's gonna die. Come watch TV.
Hoecake Scarfer @Hoecake_Scarfer
274 Followers 614 Following Retired Navy Senior Chief, strongly anti-tribalism, think and speak for yourself.
Canadia @canadaslady2
9K Followers 2K Following
Hot Nonsense Pod @hotnonsense3
272 Followers 557 Following We love comedy.. From stand-up to sitcoms and all bits in between.. 3 gals, 1 pod.. It’s mainly Hot Nonsense because our A/C sucks.. Instagram @hotnonsense3
Travis @celebagent1909
681 Followers 911 Following Reality TV Casting Producer, Celebrity Talent Manager, Traveler, sports lover (GO VOLS) grill master, sweet tea drinker and a southern gentleman.
Herb The HR Guy @HerbFromHR
239 Followers 160 Following Don’t let the glasses and suit fool you, I’m a sex machine. Debbie Gibson is my true love
Cathy Musser @cathleen_musser
4K Followers 5K Following Happy in Alaska. Born again 1999. DMS don't tempt me with your schemes.
KathrynBrunelle @KBrunelle79638
69 Followers 2K Following
Whatnot @MarkSmi97449200
94 Followers 476 Following
In X Sucks @DeadManSkipping
858 Followers 1K Following I hate this place. This is a parody of a parody account presented within a satirical farce.
Steve Lattimer LB @SteveLattimer
303 Followers 465 Following football, family in that order RETWEETER
Ninja Dad @ninjadadofone
1K Followers 580 Following Dad. Bourbon Drinker. Guitar Player. Professional Procrastinator.
Mich @watchwordone
19 Followers 211 Following
سمسمس @user093340
62 Followers 70 Following
lebouef @lebouef
98 Followers 2K Following
Eric D @EmailEricD
770 Followers 3K Following Welcome to my bio. Opinions are mine, okay? For business inquiries, please email my mom.
LowBudgetMuthafucka @LowBudgetMofo
3K Followers 659 Following Eight miles high. I'm probably not gonna follow you back.
The Angel 🖤 @Angel_150913
12K Followers 5K Following ᛚ᛫ᚹ᛫ᛖ 🔆🚜🍻 ——————————— Farmer’s Daughter. Girl Mama. Viqueen. Advocate for others with different abilities.
Rick @Rick46172949
3K Followers 5K Following My name is Rick in Mississippi for the time being. A Republican Trump 2024
Melly Mel @laffinloofen
317 Followers 2K Following Woman / No Lady / Salty Purveyor of Unsolicited Opinions
Karen .B Dominguez @KarenBDomi3239
426 Followers 5K Following If $5,000 weekly is not too small, kindly join the platform on telegram and start earning by clicking on this link below 👇👉 https://t.co/p4eckzHV7i
𝓈𝒽𝒶𝓃𝒶 @butterflysong_9
3K Followers 3K Following wild things & music & marigolds & a girl in love with the moon ~ @shanaonthepiano is me
🇳 🇦 🇪 🇪 �.. @naeemanjum345
927 Followers 4K Following 🐂, Article Writer, blogger, freelance News report, #traveler #Dreamer #stand with humanity #Stand with Plastine
SophieLeon @snowpied
1K Followers 2K Following Concerned citizen. Grateful Canadian. All genders are valid. #IStandWithTrudeau. #TeamPete #WomenAgainstPoilievre
Böb Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke
39K Followers 10K Following Chicago Member FDIC Views are my own because you're not brave enough I write this for fun https://t.co/heH4IlIEWZ I know who DB Cooper is.
Annie Hatfield @AnneHatfieldVO
48K Followers 6K Following Tall, pale, relentlessly cheerful. https://t.co/vhLLPJmuO2
Salty MacTavish 🇺�.. @SaltyMacTavish
13K Followers 9K Following We hardly talk about clams anymore and frankly I’m steamed about it https://t.co/MEeOiowPL2
Trey @treydayway
41K Followers 6K Following *Something profound* - @treydayway https://t.co/c64nfwFO1X
The B. @anerdonfire2
37K Followers 13K Following My thoughts were full of other things when I wandered off the path. Dante Alighieri, Inferno
Midge @mxmclain
35K Followers 2K Following Relentless architect of my own hell, curator of seasonal profanities, cultural symbol
Benny 'Bluesky' Rolli.. @citizenkawala
21K Followers 8K Following Australian Jim Morrison | Real person | Dave's mate | 1053 https://t.co/PN73YRdrct
Not Today Eric @NotTodayEric
27K Followers 9K Following Gen X Superhero. Old people jokes for my old people followers. 90’s Kid Alumni. #cheeseburgers
Tony P. @Tbone7219
43K Followers 19K Following
Boyd's Backyard™ @TheBoydP
102K Followers 20K Following I’d rather be working on my yard. #envydastrength I retweet regular people. My tweets are here: https://t.co/zOIJ18SHBV
Marcmywords @Marcmywords2
55K Followers 50K Following Tweeting Live From The Capital Of The Who Dat Nation. https://t.co/92vEozoAvo
Jack Boot @IamJackBoot
13K Followers 1K Following The New Yorker, Vanity Fair, The Atlantic, Harper's, Rolling Stone. I've read some of these magazines.
❤️🔥PamsMyth.. @mrsauntiepam
4K Followers 2K Following The answer is granny panties and a tank top, stop asking. If you want to - find me at that blue place I guess, it's going to get quiet here ⬅️
Dan Regan @DanRegan_Comedy
25K Followers 7K Following Comedian//Comedy Writer Sometimes I write funny stuff so keep checking. https://t.co/QwGtdvzVph
Grant Tanaka: Honky @GrantTanaka
37K Followers 5K Following Anatomically correct. For the most part.
LowBudgetMuthafucka @LowBudgetMofo
3K Followers 659 Following Eight miles high. I'm probably not gonna follow you back.
Lauren Sargent @Zestfurlife
305 Followers 297 Following Dildo product tester, Loser Magnet, Chick Magnet, Dude Magnet, Magnet Magnet, Malt Beverage Connosiour
Adam @YSylon
8K Followers 2K Following Humor | Music | Misc | latest: https://t.co/BmbpshxRP9 | More & better ⬇️
MLB Pipeline @MLBPipeline
311K Followers 5K Following Official Twitter account of MLB Pipeline, home of Major League Baseball Draft and prospect coverage. Instagram: MLBPipeline
Gross Ray @theheywhoha
2K Followers 832 Following Bankrupt 1930s glove tycoon. She/Her https://t.co/DIXA6HFjda
Rebel Soul @ThisRebelSoul
15K Followers 5K Following I’m a little bit of everything. https://t.co/DtyfWOzmt1
Katie D @KatieDeal99
16K Followers 2K Following Bios are hard. On Instagram as katiedeal99 https://t.co/iMruSPyTav
🪡 FRANgelick @fundersum
10K Followers 3K Following Pretty good at fantasy that's why I like reality TV➖➖ Laughs➰Music➰Poetry➰Clouds➰Smut➰BLM 🔶 Be kind. Do not follow me, I'm boring.
post nasal droll @alldrolledup
7K Followers 5K Following outbound personality • return flight hair • #blm
rogue scone @fckboyseatpizza
3K Followers 3K Following BLACK TRANS LIVES MATTER | troll of UK 🥔 preparations | haunted & evil | currently unable to even | bi | she/her | cute asshole | 🦞🔥🍍🌵🌁🕉🐻✨
🅲🅷🅴🆁🅸�.. @SpaklingGracias
18K Followers 6K Following Happily Married ❤ Mother Of One Handsome Baby Boy😘❤ Friend To Everyone❤️
Sam Skoronski @SamSkoronski
1K Followers 188 Following Cartoonist published in @NewStatesman. Aspiring sellout. Recent tweets: https://t.co/PTDZ9rbooA
Mad Hatter Mommy!!! @MadHatterMommy
23K Followers 4K Following sometimes funny, full of cheese, chocolate and unpopular opinions; don’t DM please https://t.co/IdtiajUsnd
Healing for Hot Messe.. @TheMandiEm
5K Followers 3K Following Secular Chaos Witch ✨ Author of Witchcraft Therapy, Happy Witch, & Feral Self Care (Oct 2023) https://t.co/J5pqMAtMKU & https://t.co/oejro3Od33
Sammy🖕🏼🍉 @SammyKeener
263 Followers 628 Following “No one likes us, we don’t care” ../GoBirds🦅\.. Making moves & movies 🎬🎞️ Teamster 728
Stephanie @StephNalep
592 Followers 2K Following ᴍᴀʏʙᴇ sʜᴇ’s ʙᴏʀɴ ᴡɪᴛʜ ɪᴛ. ᴍᴀʏʙᴇ sʜᴇ sᴏʟᴅ ʜᴇʀ sᴏᴜʟ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇᴠɪʟ
ᗩᒪᐯᗩ @skogsalva
884 Followers 699 Following
Honeypot 🍯 @standswithpaw
922 Followers 1K Following somebody has to fight the injured, that's my niche.
Detroit_D @Detroit_D
1K Followers 273 Following "Some days life is a grand adventure. Other days it’s an uncomfortable necessity before sleep." #gogreen #lovedetroit
Contact Gold @ContactGoldCorp
1K Followers 65 Following Contact Gold is a gold exploration company focused on advancing our Green Springs and Pony Creek projects in Nevada. $C: TSX-V $CGOLF: OTCQB
Unders GOAT🐐 @Unders_GOAT
28K Followers 514 Following Sports bettor specializing in predicting unders and overvalued teams.🔮I consistently beat the totals while providing betting insights | Free Plays Weekly ⬇️
emily mac 🧀 @emrachelz
6K Followers 4K Following 5’ diehard Cheesehead. Bucks in 6. Dancer & ballet teacher. Loves jams ⭕️, drawing & cooking. Italian; can’t talk without using my hands. ODAAT. ✨
𝙴𝚗𝚗𝚞𝚒 .. @blueeyesgreene
12K Followers 3K Following let's get out of here ☁️: https://t.co/FXCn4TBLu7 more tweets @ link ⤵️
Jen @JGirltotheNorth
8K Followers 1K Following
Faux Ma @Faux_Ma
9K Followers 3K Following Mom of four (Husband is one). Seen on @Huffpost, @Buzzfeed, & @theChive.
ANAÏS NINJA @michikoconuts
8K Followers 2K Following MORE PERSNICKETY THAN EVER https://t.co/9tHvo7JT1X
Chaddington @Invisichad
3K Followers 3K Following Cute things artist 😀 Got a Patreon with @Trisarahjtops! A little snail trying to get by in a big world. I always try to alt-text. Venmo: (@)Chad-White-125
Carmella Cannoli @piccolobutt
12K Followers 4K Following I like long walks through the liquor store & chickpeas. Pleasantly oblivious. https://t.co/UPLdA35eHN
Kate’s Fate @katvonwitt
9K Followers 2K Following I bake a lot of banana bread. Mutuals @katvonwitty
𝔏𝔲𝔠𝔯𝔢�.. @LovesSubliminal
1K Followers 590 Following I hear the roar of a big machine. Photographer. Fragrance connoisseur. Chocoholic.Self checkout screen asked me to review the store. Well, you didn’t have the two things I came in for and I cut myself on a shelf so I think I’ll skip it today.
waking up to an alarm at 5pm and not knowing what day it is or which planet you’re on
i’m finding this year after year thing pretty tedious & have decided i no longer have time for it
I’m an elder Millennial. That’s my emotional support piece of clothing I bought from Forever 21 in 2007 that doesn’t fit me anymore.
My family has started a 2000 piece puzzle. I’m gonna need you guys to stop by and find all the gray pieces with blue on them.
I cannot believe it’s been a year since I had to say goodbye to my best friend, my soul baby. I love you always, Danka.
A simpler time, when only some of hell would break loose.
sewing a quilt made out of nicotine patches
Well, I’ve settled on a wall calendar. So that’s handled.
eating ice cream every time i want a smoke i’m swelling i’m swell things are going swell
Building a snowman so I can punch it in the face
trying to turn feeling like I got hit by a truck into something positive
Babe you keep knocking the drinks over with your puffy coat
Holy shit, you guys, I got to use my car’s extended warranty.
why the fuck does my furnace smell like Cocoa Puffs
Mom’s spaghetti, winter’s about to get heavy (putting on my snowsuit) you get me
My God, the weather outside IS frightful. It's all coming true.
My vibe? Being on a fifth round of trying to scrub burnt food off a cookie sheet and slowly starting to give up on life and everything it has to offer.
I bought new winter boots not realizing what I would need was new rain boots
doctor: any other concerns today me: I look ridiculous in this gown
Trends for United States
260 B posts
55,5 B posts
21,4 B posts
82,7 B posts
11,6 B posts
1.701 posts
1.247 posts
125 B posts
3.234 posts
36,9 B posts
122 B posts
54 B posts
6.879 posts
277 B posts
416 B posts
854 B posts
83,1 B posts
94,2 B posts
You might like
JayMind
@JayMindX
5K Followers
S.D. Hintz
@sdhintz
5K Followers
Frankzulla
@frankzulla
8K Followers
Bad Mikey
@BadMikeyBad
15K Followers
ʍǟȶȶ ȶɦɛɛ cru..
@mattonaroof
4K Followers
Matty Boom Batty
@vlowgoes
11K Followers
WryBry
@WryBry
4K Followers
Tommy Knоckers
@TomE83_
9K Followers
Silent Oz
@RefinedBogan
7K Followers
John Lyon
@JohnLyonTweets
18K Followers
Buddawiggi 🚩
@MarkBuckawicki
11K Followers
Uncle Bob 🍩
@UncleBob56
14K Followers
🦬 Dollar Store Tom..
@UnIxphysco
13K Followers
fightgeek
@fightgeek
11K Followers
Avogadro’s House of..
@schumoo
12K Followers