Minister of Loneliness @SensualRoger
Just an absolute train wreck of a human being. Garbage twitter. Twitter.com/search?q=from%… The dump Joined June 2023-
Tweets4K
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Followers616
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Following245
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Likes4K
Blinked and missed the while it lasts again
My mouth wasn’t meant for average things.
Horsefucker: What are you doing on the braai, ekse? Wetness Owner: Pre-cooked, pre-marinated…
Wife "There's three angry bears at the door for you." Me *spitting out perfectly temperatured porridge* "Tell them I'm not here."
Starting to forget what I thought I knew about you.
I’m a sucker for Faustian bargains.
A vasectomy makes you automatically sexier.
I was just told that I look too sweet and innocent to be intimidating, and now I don’t know who I am anymore
Please be nicer to your hilarious and unconventionally handsome boyfriend before I change into my performance fleece and take him to Denny's.
[surgical consultation] Yes that's right, from the neck up I want to be a garden rake
We met at an anger therapy group for people who lose their shit whenever they're reminded that Grey's Anatomy is still on tv.
When you look up “the nicest person who ever lived” in the dictionary there’s a picture of me
my love is a dirt track on bald tires and you bet your ass it's starting to rain
Butterfly-effecting my way into beating your ass
Everyone has an ex who looked like a giant roach when they were sleeping.
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My mouth wasn’t meant for average things.
Wife "There's three angry bears at the door for you." Me *spitting out perfectly temperatured porridge* "Tell them I'm not here."
Starting to forget what I thought I knew about you.
A vasectomy makes you automatically sexier.
I was just told that I look too sweet and innocent to be intimidating, and now I don’t know who I am anymore
Please be nicer to your hilarious and unconventionally handsome boyfriend before I change into my performance fleece and take him to Denny's.
[surgical consultation] Yes that's right, from the neck up I want to be a garden rake
We met at an anger therapy group for people who lose their shit whenever they're reminded that Grey's Anatomy is still on tv.
When you look up “the nicest person who ever lived” in the dictionary there’s a picture of me
my love is a dirt track on bald tires and you bet your ass it's starting to rain
Everyone has an ex who looked like a giant roach when they were sleeping.
I have been in a three month-long entanglement with a 1,000 piece kaleidoscope jigsaw puzzle.
I say in another universe a lot for someone who really just wants what’s in this one
Stuff your bra with meatballs. No one's gonna stop you.
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