I’ve learned a lot in my #FitnessJourney so far.
Yesterday, I learned there is a big difference between size 34 jeans with an elastic waistband and size 34 jeans without one.
I really appreciate our local police department giving a dozen hyperactive Cub Scouts a tour of the station.
It was letting them sit in the squad car after saying “this button is for the siren” that made me question their judgement.
That married couple thing where your spouse sends you a funny video and you think “this is funny, I should send it to my spouse” because you immediately forgot they were the one who sent it to you
“You’re like the grinches heart… small son”
“At least you finally did something good with your life”
“Dip that in your cheerios”
“Call me Taylor cause I’m just that Swift”
- my 8 y/o’s MarioKart trash talk
Not gonna lie. Through 5 years and tens of thousands of toys donated… never had anyone call me “greedy” before.
Not sure if this is just trolling or they truly think I’m a jagoff. But I promise my intentions are not to slight hardworking immigrant children
Up to $50 little bit less than halfway there to clearing out Target of this awesome gift for #LittleWheelsBigHearts!
For those who don’t know, this is a charitable initiative started online that helps collect toy vehicles for underprivileged kids at the holidays!
Up to $50 little bit less than halfway there to clearing out Target of this awesome gift for #LittleWheelsBigHearts!
For those who don’t know, this is a charitable initiative started online that helps collect toy vehicles for underprivileged kids at the holidays!
56K Followers 1K Followingintrovert. Husband. Dad of 3.
bourbon fund: Venmo- Shane83
My links!
https://t.co/X1R5q5AVST
seen in @Buzzfeed @Menshumor @HuffPostParents @cheezbur
23K Followers 4K FollowingFather of girls, Husband of wife, Coach of kids. Protagonist for the People in court, yet to win an argument at home. *ᵗʷᵉᵉᵗˢ ᵃʳᵉ ⁿᵒᵗ ˡᵉᵍᵃˡ ᵒᵖⁱⁿⁱᵒⁿˢ*
18K Followers 2K FollowingWorking mom of two boys, happily married, trying to bring a little joy to the nonsense of parenting 💕 https://t.co/ujkBfo5Yxt 💕 #BLM
27K Followers 3K Followinghttps://t.co/lKTwNPcAGY @momsoverhere on IG. Mommin’ the best I can with low standards. Featured in @HuffPost, @Buzzfeed, @Today_Parents and more.
10K Followers 3K FollowingNot just a Mom. Still figuring out the rest. #artist #scoliosis #spinalfusionsurgery #Neurodivergent af #Geek #LGBTQ+ #tattoos
4K Followers 1K FollowingTwitter is just like real life. I talk about my kids and our life only to find out I’m just talking to myself. 100% mom, wife, mess. #IVF #ASD
28K Followers 8K FollowingHopeful idiot | your big suburban | Log Lady | X's hottest mom™️ | tired founder. Not funny or young enough to write tweets for Clorox. avi @popartcartoonz
20 Followers 678 FollowingFound different beauties from all US states 😽
Ready for private meetings
See nude photos before a date! Watching this https://t.co/R7pGOBBgSQ
2K Followers 1K FollowingWeekly Thursday contest, 10AM - 10 PM EDT. Magical AF. New Themes Every Week. Open to all size accounts. Contest artwork by @RiotGrlErin.
14 Followers 25 FollowingMouthy af. Slightly morbid. Very luckily married to this stud: @Beagz. Mom of 2. 1 adopted, 1 biological. 1 neurotypical, 1 neurodiverse. Both rad.
98 Followers 409 FollowingEternal optimist, bit of a romantic, stuck in the eighties, arrogant and a teeny-tiny bit of a superiority complex... Ah well, u get the drift
324 Followers 1K FollowingChildren’s indie PB author in the publishing process of my debut picture book “My Mum Loves Music”. Early years professional and childcare business owner.
56K Followers 1K Followingintrovert. Husband. Dad of 3.
bourbon fund: Venmo- Shane83
My links!
https://t.co/X1R5q5AVST
seen in @Buzzfeed @Menshumor @HuffPostParents @cheezbur
23K Followers 4K FollowingFather of girls, Husband of wife, Coach of kids. Protagonist for the People in court, yet to win an argument at home. *ᵗʷᵉᵉᵗˢ ᵃʳᵉ ⁿᵒᵗ ˡᵉᵍᵃˡ ᵒᵖⁱⁿⁱᵒⁿˢ*
18K Followers 2K FollowingWorking mom of two boys, happily married, trying to bring a little joy to the nonsense of parenting 💕 https://t.co/ujkBfo5Yxt 💕 #BLM
27K Followers 3K Followinghttps://t.co/lKTwNPcAGY @momsoverhere on IG. Mommin’ the best I can with low standards. Featured in @HuffPost, @Buzzfeed, @Today_Parents and more.
10K Followers 3K FollowingNot just a Mom. Still figuring out the rest. #artist #scoliosis #spinalfusionsurgery #Neurodivergent af #Geek #LGBTQ+ #tattoos
4K Followers 1K FollowingTwitter is just like real life. I talk about my kids and our life only to find out I’m just talking to myself. 100% mom, wife, mess. #IVF #ASD
28K Followers 8K FollowingHopeful idiot | your big suburban | Log Lady | X's hottest mom™️ | tired founder. Not funny or young enough to write tweets for Clorox. avi @popartcartoonz
14 Followers 25 FollowingMouthy af. Slightly morbid. Very luckily married to this stud: @Beagz. Mom of 2. 1 adopted, 1 biological. 1 neurotypical, 1 neurodiverse. Both rad.
663 Followers 1K FollowingAfter 5 yrs of IF & 5 falied IUI's we had success with IVF1, I am mommy to beautiful twin girls born 11/17/12. FET sept 14, success, 1 more sweet girl!
5.2M Followers 468 FollowingTV Dad, Bodybuilder, Conan, Terminator, and former Governor of California. I killed the Predator. I told you I'd be back. I’m here to pump you up.
2K Followers 1K FollowingWeekly Thursday contest, 10AM - 10 PM EDT. Magical AF. New Themes Every Week. Open to all size accounts. Contest artwork by @RiotGrlErin.
8K Followers 8K FollowingRecovering attorney. Recently diagnosed as a writer & qualified to give unsolicited opinions on a variety of lifestyle topics.
16K Followers 1K FollowingMostly rehashed material at this point — we’re like the Rick Reilly of fake news. *In no way affiliated with the wonderful folks at the real KDKA.*
1K Followers 1K FollowingFactory mama who is witchy & gypsy in all ways Solitary/shadow. Metal enthusiast. Gearhead. Tattooed. Pierced. Pothead. Taken by my 6'4 monster. #ZombieCrew
42K Followers 4K FollowingMom. Pickle connoisseur… Certified meat-eater…I have a potty mouth...Leafs fan.I like my coffee black because it’s a lot like me…bitter, dark and hot (flashes)
1K Followers 2K FollowingJust a girl that loves Oregon State University and all that it encompasses. #FTd. Lifelong Cubs fan. Atlas and Astrid own my ❤.
73K Followers 6K Following"I Thought It Was Just Me" podcast on https://t.co/o1LBLOFvyA🎧Tinder Live🤳🏻Author: You Will Find Your People, How To Be Alone📚Musician @itwasromance
2K Followers 1K FollowingDad of 3 under 10 whos at most a 6 with an 11 scale wife just keepin it comical & muddlin thru. Fueled by 🥃 & ☕. Featured on @TheDad, @todayshow, @huffpost
2K Followers 2K FollowingOfficial driver of the Victor Garber Bandwagon since December 1997 and the ships he didn't actually build. Lover of N. Irish shipbuilders. Phillies/Eagles, etc.
6K Followers 896 FollowingDad. Real silly. Davidoff Cool Water activist. Posts seen on @Buzzfeed, @HuffPost, @TODAY_Parents & more. I.G. 👉 https://t.co/f1BzpG3AnQ . My tweets in 🔗 below.
2K Followers 713 FollowingProfessional Mom to 7 kids. Sharing mom life and more so you can laugh with me or laugh at me 😜 Content Creator at ScaryMommy