TonyL @creativeTypeDad
Father of two, Hungry and Bored. #parenting #father #husband #family #humor Los Angeles Joined March 2014-
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*at doctor’s office Doctor: What’s the problem? Me: My lower back hurts. I can’t sit or stand without pain. Doctor:[looking at tablet, writing fast] Do you know what caused it? Were you picking up something heavy or exercising? Me: I woke up and got out of bed.
*visiting wife’s aunt, who just turned 80 13YO:[talking about celebs and trends, happening mostly on TikTok] Aunt: You sure know a lot. Do you read People magazine?
*phone call 18YO: Anything interesting happening? Me: I found out what Jay-Z called his wife before they were married. 18YO: What? Me: Feyonce’.
But they were delicious gravel. 👍
Wife: Can you stop by Costco on the way home to pick up a few things? Me: Sure *later Me: I got a camping tent, inflatable paddleboard, and a tailgate stove that attaches to the back of a truck! Wife: But you don’t like tent camping, paddleboarding and we don’t own a truck.
Me: What do you want to do for your birthday? 13YO: Maybe we can go somewhere, you know, like really nice and fancy to eat. Me: Like where? 13YO: Cheesecake Factory.
13YO: Our new English teacher started today and he let us ask a bunch of questions. He’s really old. Me: How old is he? 13YO: 39.
*at Barcelona airport 13YO:[to me] I can’t believe you didn’t let me eat at Taco Bell here. 18YO:[to me] I can’t believe you made us go to KFC here.
*exiting a church in Barcelona 18YO: It’s amazing here. Wife: Yes, it is. 13YO: I finally figured out why teleportation will never be legal. Family:😳😳😳 Me: Why? 13YO: People can trespass anywhere.
*in Barcelona for spring break Me: Where do you want to eat? There’s some pretty amazing food around here. 13YO:[pointing] Cool! There’s a Taco Bell right there.
Me:[back from store] Wife: You were gone for a long time. Did you run into somebody or go somewhere else? Me: No. They rearranged the Trader Joe’s again.
13YO: [doing history homework] Me: Do you know where George Washington bought his infamous hatchet? 13YO: Where? Me: At a chopping mall.
Happy St Patty’s day.🍀 The day we buy Lucky Charms, my son removes all the marshmallows to eat and leaves us with the cereal part. 🤦♂️ #StPatricksDay
Simon Holland @simoncholland
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Earlier today LEGO lightsabers were confirmed! #fortnite
Here's all the #Fortnite Original NBA team logos:
@gunsnrosesgirl3 Cheetah accelerating to over 100 km/h (62.0 mph).😳
@gunsnrosesgirl3 No. As an wildlife photographer, I am documenting interspecific relations from a distance. Any attempts at intervention would become auditory distractions. The immature cat is curious rather than preying.
@gunsnrosesgirl3 Nature has to be natural. Animal fend off predators each day. The babies learn from their mother.
@gunsnrosesgirl3 The fact is, wild life photographers NEVER intervene. They quietly do their job and move on.
@OliLondonTV This isn’t a protest, this is domestic terrorism.
@OliLondonTV How far will America fall under Joe Biden sorry I mean his handlers Obama
@OliLondonTV @YorkshireLady3 But folks in red hats chanting "USA!" are the problem.
@OliLondonTV I went here 10 years ago. It was bad then. Can only imagine it now. We’re so screwed if these kids are our future leaders. Like really badly.
@OliLondonTV Same Vibe. Send your kids to “Trade Schools”, please.
@OliLondonTV When they tell you who they are, believe them.
@OliLondonTV This is pro-Hamas. How is this being allowed?
#Breaking After miraculously surviving a recent stabbing attack by an Islamist at a Sydney church, Assyrian Bishop Mar Mari Emmanuel receives a standing ovation from the congregation as he resumes preaching.