Jennifer Battista @jenbattnyc
Stay-at-home mom who's never at home. Freelance writer & editor. Jersey girl. Pop culture addict. Crusader for justice. NJ/NY Joined December 2011-
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When you spell ‘restaurant,’ ‘definitely,’ and ‘accommodate’ correctly in the same sentence.
My son just said that SZA looks like Darkwing Duck. 😂 #GRAMMYs
My husband told me I’m more interesting than nothing. Thanks?
Great time at The Cure concert last night! #TheCure #MSG #ShowsOfALostWorld2023
Most recent quote from my 9yo old: “I hate Crystal Waters!”
Amazing piece of investigative journalism right here…
Amazing piece of investigative journalism right here…
Just overheard my son complaining about me: “She’s going to force us to go to Starbucks and bookstores.”
Why does my cat immediately need to lick herself on the spot I’ve just touched her? I’m not that dirty!
My husband is claiming they measure “inches” in American football. This has to be a joke, right? Someone tell me this isn’t a real thing.
If you don’t think that motherhood is totally gangster, then you must not know about the underground gift bag recycling operation we are a part of. I haven’t bought a gift bag since 2008.
The rampant misuse of the word “aesthetic” by young people makes me slightly deranged.
My son, upon seeing his homework assignment: Aww, man. It’s cursive! Why can’t I just write in English?
Making a password as a teen: dolphinsarecool Making a password as an adult: Dolphinsarecool!2
Download an app, register as a user, load your credit card info, and scroll through seven pages of questions to avoid saying, “1 large pepperoni pizza please” into a phone.
BREAKING: Donald Trump's personal library was destroyed in the FBI raid of Mar-a-Lago. Both books are sadly beyond repair, and he hadn't even finished coloring one in yet.
Partying with a group of women over 30 is a dangerous mix. There’s always one woman planning on you all staying out until 2AM and one woman planning on you all going to yoga at 7AM.
My 4yr old has started asking about lyrics, "what's an anaconna and what doesn't it want?" And I was not prepared for these questions
My kid: Don’t compare me to other kids, it doesn’t make me want to be better Also my kid: Eva’s parents got her $300 sneakers, 5 iPhones, and a Swarovski-encrusted water bottle, you suck
Lady Lawya @Parkerlawyer
66K Followers 9K Following divorce lawyer | mom to a bazillion kids | https://t.co/0FDtG6xK4t | please send all dms to @funderlaw | https://t.co/t7dCbYmwgujeff williams @WilliamsJe46242
211 Followers 730 Following𝕊𝕦𝕫 @blondewave_
4K Followers 4K Following 𝕗𝕣𝕖𝕖𝕝𝕒𝕟𝕔𝕖 𝕨𝕣𝕚𝕥𝕖𝕣, 𝕞𝕦𝕤𝕚𝕔 & 𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕥𝕒𝕚𝕟𝕞𝕖𝕟𝕥 // ℂ𝕦𝕣𝕖 𝕠𝕓𝕤𝕖𝕤𝕤𝕚𝕧𝕖Charles Gelinas @Vote4Gelinas
170 Followers 2K Following Dad, attorney, Westfield BOE, adjunct law professor. Every student matters. Posts here reflect my own personal opinions.HOMEFRONT HUGS FOUNDA.. @HomefrontHugs
13K Followers 12K Following 23 years of serving troops,vets &families #YouMatter #SOT #SuicidePrevention #ThankAVet #NeverForget #FreedomEndures #WhereNoHeroIsForgotten and #GoBlueJohn Cena @JohnCena
14.3M Followers 776K Following A forum of thoughts and perspectives designed to ignite conversations and actions leading to growth, and occasional self promotion. #NeverGiveUp #RiseAboveHateMuddyUm @UmMuddy
1K Followers 1K Following The fastest growing humor publication on Medium. Bootleg humor. Since 1720. #writingcommunity #humor #mediumwilliam spigonardo @bspigonardo
19 Followers 98 FollowingMay @ Vommat @getVommat
237 Followers 793 Following Hi 👋 Vommats are ecofriendly disposable sheets that protect surfaces in your home from vom for a quick and easy cleanup! Crowdfunding to order more, see link ⬇Danelle Smith @DSmith_Wellness
1K Followers 1K Following Wife | Mom | Virtual Assistant who is here to help Coaches and small business owners with their busy work so they have time to focus on the tasks they enjoy.Dr John Gerry @DrJohnGerry1
70 Followers 2K FollowingVanessa Battista @VanessaBattist4
307 Followers 306 Following Palliative Care @DanaFarber Nursing Education @JHUNursing @ELNEC Business with Humanity in Mind @JHUCarey. Passionate about people, health, dignity, & justice.Debra Ferrie @debraferrie
2K Followers 3K Following Holistic beauty & wellness advocate/ blogger sharing info, tips, articles & natural/organic products for mind, body & spirit wellness. NYLiz Ranaudo @LizzieRan1
41 Followers 173 Following Living life with my husband and busy with three teenagers!! 💕The Botanica Boutique @BotanicaBoutiqu
32 Followers 155 Following Self-care isn’t selfish - it’s essential. High-quality CBD and cannabis products with personalized service.Haley DelPlato @HashtagHales
437 Followers 2K Following @colgateuniv '14 • Peel & Heal Studio • artsy entrepreneur • word nerd • #mentalhealth advocate • #spoonie • Dino nugget kinda adult.BumpVitamins.com @BumpVitamins
139 Followers 651 Following Making it easy for Women & Moms to be Healthier! 🌿 • Made-to-Order Vitamin Plans • Filled by a Licensed Pharmacy • 👩⚕️Michelle @MichelleS1234
131 Followers 209 Following loves yoga, cooking, traveling and wine. always up for fun with friends. never boring.Venus Morris Griffin @Venus_M_Griffin
1K Followers 2K Following • Mother of 7 • Award-Winning Real Estate Agent • Motivational SpeakerAmber Liset Ramos @Amber_Liset
17 Followers 95 Following 『🙏🏽💙❤️』 | 『👨👩👧👧』 | 『🐾』 • 𝙲𝚞𝚛𝚛𝚎𝚗𝚝 goal 🌳🏡 🌲 • • 𝑽𝒆𝒓𝒚 𝒔𝒐𝒐𝒏 ✨🌌✨• | TikTok & 👻- Amber.Liset | $AmberLiset | 🎮 - LunaHinata6Dangogo @Henry96940819
54 Followers 531 FollowingI’ll Still Be Me! @illstillbe_me
2K Followers 237 Following A little 📖 with a BIG message. Come along for the ride as JAX & FUFU find out what its like to be brave enough to ask the BIG ”What if?” questions.Sweet Momissa @sweetmomissa
44K Followers 10K Following Like the song only saltier. Started as a blogger now I’m here.tamkristennis @tamkristennis
14 Followers 36 FollowingMaria Zuppardi @MariaZuppardi
2K Followers 1K Following Reading is my happy place🥰 📖20K besties on #bookstagram ⬇️Prosecco and Ponies @toni_goldsetin
3K Followers 2K Following not a robot. maybe a photographer. definitely a pet smoocher. My favourite hobby is explaining to my mom why my butthole is on OF.Talisman 🌊🇺🇸.. @Talisman829
2K Followers 3K Following Find balance through strength, warmth, confidence, and humor. Gardener, pet lover, foodie, USAF veteran, Seattle-12S, F1 fan. BLM GoHawks 🚫 No DMsM @md3560
5 Followers 312 FollowingStacie Haight Connert.. @StacieinAtlanta
154K Followers 39K Following Tastemaker. Beauty & Lifestyle TV Host. Creator. #OprahDaily Influencer Social Media Marketer #FohrVerified Top 1% #Influencer #Atlanta Mom of 3 Lost 170# #ATLLizzy @mymilestones_
19 Followers 130 Following I’m just a mom who is looking to share her learning experiences...HonestParent @HonestParent1
327 Followers 1K Following Honest commentary on the shit show/joy that is parenting.😴 BlackLivesMatter.benetipz @benetipz
1K Followers 2K Following Tips for #moms and #dads to make the most of their employer-sponsored #benefits and keep their families well, too.Chantal Wilson @chantalfwilson
249 Followers 956 Following Librarian. Love to read. Currently somewhat addicted to British mystery TV.Pizza Around Delco @DelcoAround
11 Followers 24 Following Eating/reviewing pizza in & around Delaware County. Always open to suggestions! Send me to the next best place!!!Dave Smith @DaveSmi13146661
262 Followers 2K FollowingNJ7 Citizens for Chan.. @NJ7C4C
2K Followers 3K Following GET YOUR COVID VACCINES! - *Educating voters and making a difference in NJ's 7th Congressional District* #NJ07 #BlackLivesMatter 🏳️🌈Tarot is a trick taki.. @TarockTrull
340 Followers 3K Following Tarot & tarock game player. he/him 🏳️🌈 The perception that tarot cards are only used in divination is harmful to cultural diversity.Kim Bongiorno @LetMeStart
15K Followers 5K Following Writer | In Parents, RealSimple, People, WaPo, ScaryMommy, CareDotcom (etc) + 12 anthologies | thekimbongiorno on 🧵| https://t.co/EyRUrB2eRn | She/HerLife of Mom @lifeofmomuncut
1K Followers 2K Following Wife | Mom | Storyteller | Human Creator @lucyriles | For a RT use #lifeofmom https://t.co/HQ8RWswQ6N https://t.co/aT5aydZGF5 | Author 🔗https://t.co/yp2IGaBFQGOusman @Ousman58909747
323 Followers 4K FollowingRebeca Four @TheRealRebeca4
14 Followers 75 Following Infant Feeding Specialist #ibclc Cuban-born Jersey girl. Here to burn down the patriarchy! #blacklivesmatter #translivesmatterMommin' It Up • Fre.. @Mommin_it_up
6K Followers 3K Following I’m a barely sane Mom of 6, who ran away from "normal" to reset life and live it wholeheartedly on my own terms.Excellent Education f.. @nje3
702 Followers 4K Following E3 is a nonprofit improving K-12 education, advocating educational options & working to close gaps in educational achievement in New Jersey and all Blue States.The BrandBox Agency @brandboxagency
4K Followers 5K Following Full-service creative branding and content marketing agencyNoelle Federico, MCPC @applyhappiness
3K Followers 4K Following Consultant | Leadership Trainer| Executive Coach | Speaker | Transformation Strategist | AuthorACLU @ACLU
1.8M Followers 5K Following The ACLU is a nonprofit, nonpartisan, legal and advocacy 501(c)(4) organization. Visit our site for more about us and our affiliated org, the ACLU Foundation.shauna @goldengateblond
340K Followers 2K Following I didn’t pay for this shit. goldengateblond on all the platforms.Marcy G @BunAndLeggings
51K Followers 2K Following parenthood is like a box of chocolates... it's expensiveThe Dad @thedad
142K Followers 590 Following Welcome to the club. 🔥 https://t.co/E3irT7D7mM 🏆 https://t.co/EFPhC0SEeE 🎮 @thedadgamingLady Lawya @Parkerlawyer
66K Followers 9K Following divorce lawyer | mom to a bazillion kids | https://t.co/0FDtG6xK4t | please send all dms to @funderlaw | https://t.co/t7dCbYmwguGovernor Phil Murphy @GovMurphy
465K Followers 286 Following 56th Governor of the Garden State and husband to @FirstLadyNJ. Rebuilding the American Dream in New Jersey. Text me: (732) 605-5455chase @_chase_____
12K Followers 1K Following girl writer | associate editor @reductress | writing in @newyorkerhumor @mcsweeneys | https://t.co/ywCjXok4HX | she/herRyan Aguirre @aguirreryan
8K Followers 979 Following PR + Awards. 650 native, @nyusteinhardt alum, opinions very much my own 🇺🇸🇵🇭🏳️🌈 #AMDGMeech CEO of PinePals @MediumSizeMeech
54K Followers 547 Following Handsome writer. Chris Pine lover. Humble Xeeter. Subscribe to my Newsletter 𝙉𝙤𝙬 𝙏𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙄 𝙈𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣 𝙄𝙩! he/him [email protected]Blackandwhitebanter @bnwbanter
7K Followers 907 Following Rarely serious. 𝘼𝙡𝙬𝙖𝙮𝙨 𝙉𝙚𝙬𝙘𝙖𝙨𝙩𝙡𝙚 𝙐𝙣𝙞𝙩𝙚𝙙⚫️⚪️ 𝘍𝘈𝘊𝘌𝘉𝘖𝘖𝘒, 𝘛𝘐𝘒𝘛𝘖𝘒, 𝘐𝘕𝘚𝘛𝘈𝘎𝘙𝘈𝘔 𝘈𝘕𝘋 𝘠𝘖𝘜𝘛𝘜𝘉𝘌Mallory | onmalsshelf @onmalsshelf
16 Followers 186 Following A girl who escapes corporate America by reading a lot of booksDan Barry @DanBarryNYT
21K Followers 1K Following This truth is hard: Longtime writer for The New York Times. Books include "This Land: America, Lost and Found." https://t.co/vHpqtFjnDiCelebrity Jeopardy! @CelebJeopardy
3K Followers 5 Following #CelebrityJeopardy! Wednesdays at 8/7c on ABC! Stream on Hulu!cats being weird litt.. @weirdlilguys
2.1M Followers 25 Following wlg fan club 🐈 dm for submissions + credit! • IG: @ catsbeingweirdlittleguys • partnerships: [email protected] • MERCH 👇👇caleb hearon @calebsaysthings
257K Followers 1K Following beloved gay comedian with perfect opinions and a heart of gold. many, many accolades.Lake Superior @LakeSuperior
230K Followers 321 Following I am the greatest lake of all time. G.L.O.A.T. (she/her) #BigBeautifulWaterKate Kelly @Kate_Kelly_Esq
31K Followers 4K Following Constitutional equality enthusiast. 📜 Lesbian with exceptional taste. 🌮Abortion pills forever. 💊💊 Host @ordequality 🎧 Board @AlicePaulInstit 🤓Tweets mine.Emily Krump @EmilyKrump
339 Followers 382 Following book editor, foodie, nap connoisseur, font of random knowledgeUkraine / Украї�.. @Ukraine
2.3M Followers 28 Following Yes, this is the official X account of Ukraine. Офіційний акаунт твоєї Неньки.Brett Goldstein @brettgoldstein
300K Followers 2K Following Actor. Writer. Comic. Swimmer. Ted Lasso. Shrinking. Soulmates. SuperBob. Adult Life Skills. Drifters. Anything to avoid a dinner party. IG: mrbrettgoldsteinAmy Schneider @Jeopardamy
138K Followers 85 Following Jeopardy ToC Champion 2022, writer, public speaker “She’s an icon, she’s a legend, and she IS the moment.” -Padma Press: [email protected] Rep: CAANew York Times Wordpl.. @NYTimesWordplay
14K Followers 172 Following Games you’ll feel good about. Visit @NYTGames for tips on how to solve The Crossword.Tom Malinowski @Malinowski
53K Followers 926 Following Diplomat, father, former Congressman proudly representing New Jersey's 7th district.Olivia A. Cole @RantingOwl
32K Followers 2K Following Author. she/they Preorder ARIEL CRASHES A TRAIN: https://t.co/1khq4Y43F4The Humble Warrior @HumbleWarrior10
5K Followers 454 Following These posts contain affiliate links. The Humble Warrior receives a commission when items are purchased through these links. Thanks for shopping with me!Turn the Page Tours @turnthepagebts
783 Followers 518 Following Book & Blog tour company dedicated to connecting readers and authors through books. TOUR BOOKINGS: OPEN FOR 2023!Sloane Crosley @askanyone
97K Followers 263 Following Author of I Was Told There'd Be Cake, How Did You Get This Number, Look Alive Out There, The Clasp, Cult Classic and Grief Is for People.The Hollywood Reporte.. @THR
3.5M Followers 6K Following The Hollywood Reporter is the premier destination & most widely trusted resource for entertainment news, reviews, videos & more.ECNJ Vaccine Bot @ECNJ_VaccineBot
3K Followers 0 Following I'm a bot that tracks the Essex County COVID-19 Vaccine site & tweets when appointments are available. Not run by the county, just @coolguynoah6.New New York Times @NYT_first_said
208K Followers 11 Following Tweets words when they appear in the NYT the 1st time. @maxbittker https://t.co/nfa3cgBxY2 https://t.co/vYafhkVcRLSweet Momissa @sweetmomissa
44K Followers 10K Following Like the song only saltier. Started as a blogger now I’m here.cvs_vaccine_finder @cvs_vax_finder
485 Followers 0 Following find CVS vaccine availability in New Jersey. Turn on tweet notifications to get notified of new appointments by tapping the bell. Appointments ⬇:tamkristennis @tamkristennis
14 Followers 36 FollowingMaria Zuppardi @MariaZuppardi
2K Followers 1K Following Reading is my happy place🥰 📖20K besties on #bookstagram ⬇️NJ Vaccine @nj_vaccine
70K Followers 25 Following Follow me for available COVID19 vaccine appointments in New Jersey. Check my website for additional resources, links, contact. *not government affiliated*BCNJ COVID Vaccine Bo.. @BCNJ_VaccineBot
19K Followers 2 Following I'm a bot that tracks the Bergen County COVID-19 Vaccine site & tweets when appointments are available. Not run by Bergen County, just by @coolguynoah6brett stoelker @brettstoelker
77K Followers 78 Following Actor. Singer. FPS Gamer. Food Enthusiast. Mixologist. | Rock Isn't Dead. | Formerly: C19VaxxUpdatesnoah marcus @coolguynoah6
334 Followers 146 Following (he/him) i do all of this for tom nook,,, and for what?Jon Stewart @jonstewart
1.7M Followers 2 FollowingUCNJ COVID Vaccine Bo.. @UCNJ_VaccineBot
19K Followers 3 Following I'm a bot that tracks the Union County COVID-19 Vaccine site & tweets when appointments are available. Not run by Union County, just @coolguynoah6.Jill Biden @FLOTUS
4.4M Followers 5 Following First Lady of the United States Jill Biden. Community college educator. Military mother. Grandmother. Wife of @POTUS.Vice President Kamala.. @VP
14.5M Followers 6 Following Vice President of the United States. Wife to the first @SecondGentleman. Momala. Auntie. Fighting for the people. Text me: 310-861-2977President Biden @POTUS
34.8M Followers 5 Following 46th President of the United States, husband to @FLOTUS, proud dad & pop. Tweets may be archived: https://t.co/HDhBZBkKpU Text me: (302) 404-0880Frederick Joseph @FredTJoseph
113K Followers 3K Following 2X NYT Bestselling Author | Poet | 📚 Patriarchy Blues, Wakanda Forever: The Courage to Dream, Better Than We Found It, The Black Friend | IG: FredTJosephIbram X. Kendi @ibramxk
408K Followers 2K Following Historian • Director @AntiracismCtr • Founder @The_Emancipator • National Book Award Winner • 10x NYT Best Selling Author • MacArthur Fellow. 🐍Talisman 🌊🇺🇸.. @Talisman829
2K Followers 3K Following Find balance through strength, warmth, confidence, and humor. Gardener, pet lover, foodie, USAF veteran, Seattle-12S, F1 fan. BLM GoHawks 🚫 No DMsCYon @livelistrepeat
640 Followers 823 FollowingDr. Jill Biden @DrBiden
3.6M Followers 26 Following Lifelong educator. Military mother. Grandmother. Sister. Wife to @JoeBiden.Vanessa Battista @VanessaBattist4
307 Followers 306 Following Palliative Care @DanaFarber Nursing Education @JHUNursing @ELNEC Business with Humanity in Mind @JHUCarey. Passionate about people, health, dignity, & justice.M @md3560
5 Followers 312 FollowingVan Jones @VanJones68
943K Followers 10K Following DAD // @CNN // 3X NYT bestseller // @magiclabsmedia🎙 podcast #UncommonGround https://t.co/EGmJeknGszBerkeley Heights, NJ @BHnjGov
306 Followers 133 Following This is the official municipal government Twitter account of the Township of Berkeley Heights, Union County, New Jersey.It's 8 years today since Prince died. So a reminder again of this, because sometimes sadness can still bring laughter.
True story: So someone emailed my work email to ask me why all the students on Abbott Elementary are Black and I said because it's set in Philly and they asked where the white students were and I said Philly is 75% BIPOC and majority Black and the public schools are 86% POC and…
I’m ready for old school gifs to make a comeback. Bring back the gif of that white ginger kid looking surprised I say. Or that Black woman walking through the door. All Schitts Creek gifs are back on the table.
Me coming up with the perfect Spanish restaurant/strip club: "Tapass" Yes, now please invest.
To the person who dumped their Christmas tree on the side of the road in mid April, thank you for making me feel better about taking only a week to make that phone call.
Leave it well alone for the family theatre kids who need to practice their “Don’t Cry for Me Argentina.”
IN CASE OF FIRE: 1) If someone is on fire, punch them in the face. 2) Cop a feel off the person behind you, as these might be your last minutes on Earth. 3) Squeeze the junk of the person in front of you. It'll slow them down, allowing you to move ahead of them. 4) Exit.
“Why did you have kids if you are just going to complain about them?” My brain couldn’t have comprehended how much crying there would be. One of them, or me, is always crying. There’s no way to know this because you only get the insider knowledge once it’s too late.
Had never seen Emma Stone with her husband before and they look like Wario and Waluigi for Emily Blunt and Jim Office
@BudrykZack “jim office” instead of john krasinski is taking me 😂😂😂😂😂😂
I guess now would be a good time to let you know that I also recently adapted The Great Gatsby as a musical. I think there's room for all three! Here's our cast announcement.
This scene has always bothered me because there is so way that book is the bell jar. The bell jar is a very short novel. They literally made a book sleeve for another book.
My eldest child just RIVERDANCED into the kitchen, kicked his sister up the bum and riverdanced back out again without saying a word or breaking the beat.
Kristen Wiig is one of my all-time favorite SNL cast members, she just got the 5 timers jacket with Ryan Gosling, Martin Short, Will Forte, Jon Hamm, Matt Damon, Paul Rudd, and Fred Armisen. 🤯
not a film but i think this is one of the most romantic things you can say to a person
In your opinion, what is the most unabashedly romantic line in a film?
A woman, unable to get an abortion due to deadly anti-abortion laws had to carry to term a baby that was found to have no kidneys at 24 weeks. I’ll say that part again, no kidneys and was forced to carry the baby for an additional 13 weeks until she gave birth. Deborah…
How about everyone today just tweet about things they actually know something about. I’ll go first: scrambled eggs don’t need milk added to them.
Name the best portrayal of a psychopath in a film. I’ll start: