Grace @sendmamacoffee
just a caffeine fueled, ADHD, working mama winging it 100% of the time Washington, DC Joined March 2022-
Tweets80
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Followers13
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Following80
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Likes187
My favorite thing about my commute to DC every day is how easy it is to tell who has gotten a ticket from the traffic cam at the k st under pass before and who has not.
Actually I told him it was like Dory from Finding Nemo imitiatng a whale….
Should I run Twitter ?
Me, at 18: I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANNA DO Me, at 40: I can do whatever 800mg of ibuprofen will allow me to do
The bottom line regarding Tua is LIFE is bigger than football. Teams should always put the person before the player. Health before competitive advantage. Putting Tua out there isn’t just a player safety issue. It’s a quality of life issue.
This was NOT a back injury at all and it was blatant lying. There should be an investigation into the Dolphins medical staff as well Tua should not have played tonight
@PritikaRyan My five year old took my sour gummy worms and told me she’d allow me to have the last bite 🙄
5yo: mama do you want to hear me make lots of different sounds? Me (mentally): I would literally rather be set on fire
ADHD is thinking about all the things you have to do, getting stressed about all the things, worrying about the consequences of not doing the things, but still feeling stuck and unable to do any of the things.
On vacation with 4 kids under 9 years old = googling “how expensive is it to install a noise canceling isolation chamber”
@Alzack13 That bird will haunt your dreams for the rest of you life
If you had told me 6 years ago I’d have a single family home, be enrolling my child into soccer & swim lessons (let alone HAVE a child), have a pool membership, & drive a mom car I’d have laughed & told you that suburbia life wasn’t for me. But here we are, & I freaking love it
There’s something special about a kitty choosing to love on you ♥️
I’m completely caught up on Crime Countdown and @AMorbidPodcast for the first time since I started listening from the beginning a year ago and now I don’t know what to do without @AlainaToTheMax and @ashkell83 talking to me during every commute to and from work
Boy cats are the snuggliest and act like the biggest babies tell me im wrong
If you're looking for a convenient place to store your children's slime, can I recommend the trash?
Alyssa Pierson @alyssapierson
22 Followers 180 Following
*Tap, tap, tap* is th... @tap_tap_tap1
2K Followers 2K Following I’m just here to laugh and enjoy a little of my precious downtime. I won’t dm you! I’m just trying to make you laugh! he/him/his
Mark Harry @MarkHar46954317
9 Followers 308 Following
Ebrima njie @Ebriman36677539
31 Followers 2K Following
🌜🤷♂️ �... @raoulvilla
5K Followers 2K Following Husband, father of 4. Parody, not a real moon. As seen on MySpace, Facebook and in the weekly church bulletin https://t.co/FygTBNNF3G
nice things I say to ... @meantomyself
26K Followers 7K Following She may not look like much but she can catch a man. So southern Duke's Mayo quoted me. Not funny or young enough to write tweets for Clorox. avi @popartcartoonz
Two Dads 1 Sippy Cup @2dads1sippycup
124 Followers 149 Following two dads on a mission to join the permanent stay at home dadhood.
SpacedMom @copymama
23K Followers 3K Following Writer of freelance copy. Cultivator of small humans. Documenter of absurdity. / Header by the talented @mommy_cusses
My Life As Dad @milifeasdad
6K Followers 788 Following Dad. Real silly. Davidoff Cool Water activist. Posts seen on @Buzzfeed, @HuffPost, @TODAY_Parents & more. I.G. 👉 https://t.co/f1BzpG3AnQ . My tweets in 🔗 below.
Ian VanKirk @ivankirk
84 Followers 840 Following
Fairfax County Fire/R... @ffxfirerescue
63K Followers 229 Following The official Fairfax County Fire and Rescue Department Twitter account. Call 911 for emergencies, 703-691-2131, TTY 711, for non-emergencies.
Miami Dolphins @MiamiDolphins
1.3M Followers 1K Following 🐬 » #PhinsUp | 🗣️ » @LosDolphins | 🇧🇷 » @Dolphins_BR | 🇬🇧 » @Dolphins_UK | 🤝 » @FinsOffTheField | 📣 » @dolphinscheer | 🚲 » @TackleCancer
*Tap, tap, tap* is th... @tap_tap_tap1
2K Followers 2K Following I’m just here to laugh and enjoy a little of my precious downtime. I won’t dm you! I’m just trying to make you laugh! he/him/his
Fuck You I Quit @fuckyouiquit
446K Followers 764 Following The labor market is a mess. Here to show you why. Highlighting workers conflict with poor management, corporate greed, bad business, and the economy.
Neil Patrick Harris @ActuallyNPH
20.7M Followers 159 Following Husband, father, random sayer of stuff.
🌜🤷♂️ �... @raoulvilla
5K Followers 2K Following Husband, father of 4. Parody, not a real moon. As seen on MySpace, Facebook and in the weekly church bulletin https://t.co/FygTBNNF3G
Mediocre Mom @MediocreMamaa
4K Followers 379 Following Always hangry. never fashionable. sometimes funny. My linktree: https://t.co/aSUIRbRWcz Featured on @huffpost @TODAY_parents @boredpanda @scarymommy
One Awkward Mom @oneawkwardmom
16K Followers 828 Following mom of three || perpetually late || relatively unsociable
MOMther @PezzleStick
2K Followers 2K Following I have a theory about Jack Lord's hair. I break search links. https://t.co/EXnO4GD9LJ she/her/mom. Mom. MoOo
Not the Nanny @not_thenanny
8K Followers 652 Following Mother and Wife | Joker and Beer-Drinker | Runner and Cheetos-Eater | Snarky and Loving | Slightly Sweary | Come for the laughs, stay for the support
nice things I say to ... @meantomyself
26K Followers 7K Following She may not look like much but she can catch a man. So southern Duke's Mayo quoted me. Not funny or young enough to write tweets for Clorox. avi @popartcartoonz
kidversations @kidversations_
5K Followers 423 Following Conversations with Kids https://t.co/eOgLeX9U7M
Kurt Pierson @KurtRealEstate
1 Followers 0 Following
Helleanor Rigby @Mom_Overboard
52K Followers 3K Following 🥪 take these broken wings and learn to fly 🏔
Andie Grace Eckhart @andie_eckhart
5 Followers 1 Following
Bailey Sarian @BaileySarian
403K Followers 239 Following • I do a thing called Murder Mystery & Makeup and Dark History over on YouTube •
Morbid Podcast @AMorbidPodcast
116K Followers 627 Following A #podcast covering all things spooky. Hosted by autopsy tech Alaina and hairstylist Ash. We bring a wide range of experience to the table 🤘⚰
ADHDean @ADHDeanASL
20K Followers 4K Following BLACK LIVES MATTER. Husband, dad, friend. Ally. ASL Interpreter. Doofus. Midvale School for the Gifted alum. Mastodon: [email protected]
Two Dads 1 Sippy Cup @2dads1sippycup
124 Followers 149 Following two dads on a mission to join the permanent stay at home dadhood.
smartass_moms @smartass_moms
8K Followers 3K Following ||MOM🌙|| MARRIED💍|| EMPATH🌿|| COMEDY🍕|| Sarcasm is my love language. New Englander 🐿️
My Life As Dad @milifeasdad
6K Followers 788 Following Dad. Real silly. Davidoff Cool Water activist. Posts seen on @Buzzfeed, @HuffPost, @TODAY_Parents & more. I.G. 👉 https://t.co/f1BzpG3AnQ . My tweets in 🔗 below.
The Real Rodney Lacro... @RealRodLacroix
45K Followers 8K Following Disappointing people since 1968. | EVERYTHING: https://t.co/JN2RmmLu5i | Latest Tweets: https://t.co/F2vUtf3nx6
Mal @TheRealPalMal
8K Followers 3K Following Same handle on Blue. My tweets only: https://t.co/kbzCt7nik0
Science Mom 🔬 @EmSlyce
7K Followers 2K Following Discovering that toddlers and logic don't mix. Seen on @Huffpost @buzzfeed @TODAY_Parents @cheezburger and many more. My tweets are here ⬇️
mom mom mom mom mom @notmythirdrodeo
25K Followers 3K Following https://t.co/lKTwNPcAGY @momsoverhere on IG. Mommin’ the best I can with low standards. Featured in @HuffPost, @Buzzfeed, @Today_Parents and more.
Richard Dean @dad_on_my_feet
20K Followers 4K Following If Mr. Rogers had crippling anxiety. IG: https://t.co/6QNIPEV7wl
Kevin The Dad @kevinthedad
13K Followers 847 Following Husband. Dad. Co-creator of 2 cool kids. I write fun stories about the shenanigans I experience as a parent!
Mommeh Dearest @mommeh_dearest
8K Followers 1K Following There is no Mommy, only Zuul.✨Be excellent to each other✨Peep my tweets in the link below 👇🏻🖕🏻 Fuck the Patriarchy
Goldfish and Chicken ... @gfishandnuggets
9K Followers 978 Following Mom of 2 kiddos. Realtor. Writer and Tweeter for fun. Seen in HuffPost and Scary Mommy. https://t.co/XIt1l0BX3O
Mette Angerhofer @MetteAngerhofer
7K Followers 2K Following Slightly frazzled mother of three. Writer. Not a domestic goddess. Find me on Instagram: https://t.co/WkCmZXMf6U
kids_kubed 🇨🇦 @Kids_kubed
5K Followers 516 Following Mom of three. High school teacher. A pulse at the end of the day is success! https://t.co/2yRaTZUxxr
Go Ask Your Dad @_goaskyourdad_
5K Followers 363 Following Wife, but not the trophy kind. Mom and designated babysitter to 4. SAHM, ER nurse. Follow me on IG too!
redyellowgreendance �... @RYGdance
4K Followers 867 Following Mom to two hilariously quotable boys. Link to my tweets: https://t.co/fEivqY0S59
Mommy Owl @Mommy__Owl
24K Followers 3K Following Ex-netflix. Former Victorian Literature Professor. @UCBerkeley Alum.
@sherisayssit @sherisayssit
13K Followers 1K Following Musician mama of 3 treading water and taking names Formerly @Lmemeit IG and TikTok: @itssherifield https://t.co/PEkz5e55qc
Mommy Needs a Life @momneedsalife3
11K Followers 432 Following Mom of 3. Finder of things. Drinker of gin.
Julie Burton @ksujulie
8K Followers 3K Following Mom. Writer. Bacon-hater —please don’t drop me as a friend.
Rachel Sobel @whinecheezits
6K Followers 2K Following Mama. Do-over wife. Writer. Author. Truth teller. Repped by @ecniumata at @folioliterary [email protected] https://t.co/ynqBZAL78k
Laura Marie @lmegordon
23K Followers 2K Following I'm a mom, an aspiring novelist, and a political activist.You might like
