kids_kubed 🇨🇦 @Kids_kubed

Mom of three. High school teacher. A pulse at the end of the day is success! https://t.co/2yRaTZUxxr allmylinks.com/kidskubed Joined April 2018

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kids_kubed 🇨🇦 @Kids_kubed

5 days ago

10: I like Lily and Jo but Jo doesn’t like Lily so I want to have a sleepover with Lily and Jo but Jo said she won’t come if Lily comes but Jo said she’d come if Vi comes but Lily and Vi don’t like each other so.. Hubs: Where’s your mom? 10: so Jo wants to.. Hubs: BABE!

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kids_kubed 🇨🇦 @Kids_kubed

2 weeks ago

Me: If you could be any animal what would you be? 6: A unicorn! They’re so pretty! Me: Adorable sweety, but they’re not rea... 6: and I’d have a horn so I could stab anyone who makes me mad Me:

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kids_kubed 🇨🇦 @Kids_kubed

3 weeks ago

I never learned how to ride a bike so I finally bought one of those adult tricycles so I can go on bike rides with my kids My 13yo told me I should just go ahead and buy a motorized wheelchair and move into a retirement home while I’m at it

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kids_kubed 🇨🇦 @Kids_kubed

4 weeks ago

My 4yo just realized he could raise both his eyebrows at the same time He now does it every time he makes eye contact with me and it looks like we are in cahoots orchestrating the most diabolical plan ever

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kids_kubed 🇨🇦 @Kids_kubed

a month ago

Boeing has really taken the saying “When one door closes, another window opens” quite literally

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kids_kubed 🇨🇦 @Kids_kubed

a month ago

I wish to attain to a fitness level where my gut doesn’t turn on the dishwasher when I lean over it

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kids_kubed 🇨🇦 @Kids_kubed

2 months ago

Some people are complaining about losing one hour of sleep this Sunday Parents have been losing 8 hours of sleep every day since their baby crowned

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kids_kubed 🇨🇦 @Kids_kubed

2 months ago

Hey parents, Hang in there. Soon you’ll be sending your kid off to high school and when you wave goodbye, he’ll turn around and say “stop acting like you know me, its embarrassing” So worth it

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kids_kubed 🇨🇦 @Kids_kubed

2 months ago

Mom hack: Be the only one to eat a lot of garlic that the kids can’t take your smell so they ask their dad to do the whole bedtime routine with them instead of you Boom! Instant Mom Alone Time

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kids_kubed 🇨🇦 @Kids_kubed

2 months ago

Me: Why did you throw that pencil at your brother?! You could have poked his eye out! 13: But I didn’t Me: Not now but it could have hit him 13: But it didn’t Me: That’s not the point! He could have gotten hurt 13: But he didn’t Me: (pulls out wine cork with teeth)

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kids_kubed 🇨🇦 @Kids_kubed

2 months ago

Admin: We are looking into acquiring 3D printers for the school Teachers: Um, can you first fix the 2D printers we have?

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kids_kubed 🇨🇦 @Kids_kubed

2 months ago

13: What’s for dinner? Me: Pasta. You’ll muck it up 13: Pls don’t Me: On god it’s so good 13: Stop Me: Why you so salty bruh? 13: Ok it’s getting annoying Me: Whomp whomp

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kids_kubed 🇨🇦 @Kids_kubed

2 months ago

A student of mine who’s now in university texted me to tell me he “smashed” his exam I, in turn, asked him if “smashed” was a good or bad thing and he proceeded to educate me. So FYI: “Smashed” is a a good thing “Bombed” is a bad thing The student has become the teacher

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kids_kubed 🇨🇦 @Kids_kubed

3 months ago

I could listen all day to a happy dog smacking and chewing on its favourite treat But if my husband so much as breathes too loud…

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kids_kubed 🇨🇦 @Kids_kubed

3 months ago

My husband and I finally had a day off together so we dropped the kids off to school and went to have breakfast (30 min later) School: Your kid puked

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kids_kubed 🇨🇦 @Kids_kubed

3 months ago

Me: I really need to start exercising Hubs: I forbid you to exercise Me: What did you just... Hubs: If history has shown me anything it’s that me telling you NOT to do something makes you want do it even more Me: Hubs: I’m helping

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kids_kubed 🇨🇦 @Kids_kubed

3 months ago

Me: Do you want McD or KFC for dinner? Hubs: Can’t you make dinner instead? Just come up with something Me: Divorce

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kids_kubed 🇨🇦 @Kids_kubed

3 months ago

Those of you who back into Costco parking lots - what are you even doing here? If you don’t need full access to your trunk, need to put the back seats down and use your master Tetris skills after shopping at Costco, then you’re doing it wrong

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kids_kubed 🇨🇦 @Kids_kubed

3 months ago

Trying to work on my portion control, I didn’t finish my meal at the restaurant and asked to take the rest to go On my way home I realized I forgot to take my box with me. Ruined my whole evening. Moral of the story: Stuff your face and leave no fry behind

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kids_kubed 🇨🇦 @Kids_kubed

3 months ago

Does anyone else wonder while they are driving and see a black garbage bag on the side of the road “I wonder if there’s a body in there?” or do I need to take a break from true crime documentaries?

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introvert. Husband. Dad of 3.

bourbon fund: Venmo- Shane83

My links!
https://t.co/X1R5q5AVST

seen in @Buzzfeed @Menshumor @HuffPostParents @cheezbur

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Sarah @Tiogar

3 months ago

@Kids_kubed @LSUjuju @TrueCrimeTina @CrimeCon

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Tina @TrueCrimeTina

3 months ago

@Kids_kubed @Tiogar Yes. Yes I do.

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Sarah @Tiogar

3 months ago

@TrueCrimeTina @Kids_kubed Every. Time.

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Nacho Mama 🐈 🎄 @Convokid22

3 months ago

@Kids_kubed I always think that and wonder if anyone has checked it. But I’m not checking it.

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Hawk24 @Hawk2455

3 months ago

@Kids_kubed 🤣🤣🤣

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Hawk24 @Hawk2455

5 months ago

@Kids_kubed 😮😮😮

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Edwin Adams @grayhead01

5 months ago

@Kids_kubed Kudos to you, ma'am.

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Monster Truck Abigail @themommylode

5 months ago

@Kids_kubed Do we have the same kid?

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Edwin Adams @grayhead01

6 months ago

@Kids_kubed One of the best tweets yet!

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Hawk24 @Hawk2455

7 months ago

@Kids_kubed 🤣🤣🤣

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Hawk24 @Hawk2455

8 months ago

@Kids_kubed 🤣🤣🤣

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Chickenpursechick @lilchickenboss

7 months ago

@Kids_kubed Glad I am not the only one this happens to

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Wayward Kara @jensenismyfave

8 months ago

@Kids_kubed Definitely don’t speak or make eye contact!

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Dark cold empty lost @nothereforme

8 months ago

@Kids_kubed Hahaha, sounds exactly like my teen.

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Amy Gore @tilda52000

8 months ago

@Kids_kubed I could eat nothing but grass, air, and a tums for a month and i could gain 5 pounds. My husband signed up for a gym membership and lost 15 pounds. Never actually went, just signed up.