moderately amusing gay wolf @ModeratelyMused
chronically unserious, emotionally impervious CA Joined August 2013-
Tweets56K
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Followers11K
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Following3K
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Likes159K
Having a cat is insane because I can literally touch her and she just lets me
Having a cat is insane because I can literally touch her and she just lets me https://t.co/2wyKuhFSJb
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moderately amusing gay wolf retweeted
men desperately need purpose
You can trust people to be themselves based on their incentives and what they’ve rationalized.
The neighbor I can’t stand (he has low T) told me ‘he saw a man’s shadow in my bedroom’. Taking a sharpie to my window with this message: “why the fuck are you reading this”
moderately amusing gay wolf retweeted
@ModeratelyMused me & wolf are throwing a sober party who’s in
I wonder if lucky charms would fix me
Belief in my fellow man
moderately amusing gay wolf retweeted
I’m taking a shot every time I see a Honda or a Toyota
moderately amusing gay wolf retweeted
Starving Man: I'm dying Me [holding a fish]: OK. Step 1. Bait your hook.
moderately amusing gay wolf retweeted
after this third bong rip I’m finally starting to understand Radiohead
moderately amusing gay wolf retweeted
@BenjaminCrew1 me and the baddie i fumbled because i was monitoring the situation
Don’t shake hands with the lonely kids cause I hear that shits contagious
Me: I DECLARE BANKRUPTCY librarian: okay so I’m gonna need you to make your declarations somewhere else
moderately amusing gay wolf retweeted
When it comes to mistakes, I have you beaten in both quantity and quality.
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