Petra @svenaopako13
ljuta balkanka u Engleskoj :) London, England Joined October 2020-
Tweets1K
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Followers18
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Following138
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Likes8K
My rule of thumb is if I order my food standing up, I’m not leaving a tip
“but it’s so beautiful outside!” ah but you see. it is also so beautiful inside
I've noticed that anyone driving slower than me is a dumb-ass and anyone driving faster than me is a maniac
I hope this email finds you- Waldo: *slams laptop shut* holy fuck that was close
Interviewer: where do you see yourself in 5 years. Me: still calling it Twitter.
Eldest daughter rage has to be one of the most justifiable forms of anger.
My mom really needed that chicken thawed.
Introverts shut down when they're going through shit. They want no sympathy. No advice. No "fixing". All they want is silence & solitude. They know how to pull themselves out. Just leave them alone for a while.
the traumatized urge to over explain things so that im not misunderstood
I'm not a science denier, but there's no way balloon animals evolved that way.
Oh to be a Panda sitting in a pool and paddling his lil paws without a care in the world.
is it female rage or am i just my father’s daughter
My life is definitely turning out to be an extremely low budget film.
It's strange that watching paint dry is considered boring but going to an art gallery is considered interesting. That's just watching paint that's already dry.
New mom: any advice? Mom 1: sleep when the baby sleeps Mom 2: eat when the baby eats Me (who has no children): check your email when the baby checks their email
I'm sorry I asked if your child on a leash was a rescue.
Not smiling until Friday, nothing is funny this week
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171K Followers 1K Following My wife bought low sodium bacon and now I know what it means when someone says they love you but aren’t IN LOVE with you.
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Newbuild Hate @HateNewbuild
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Interesting Things @interesting_aIl
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Everything Out Of Con.. @EverythingOOC
1.0M Followers 2K Following EOOC 💀 DM about credit 🔈no gimmick just random funny stuff & sharing my thoughts *.✧_ Use code EVERYTHINGOOC in fortnite item store
Joe @joenahnah
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Criminal Posts @crim_tweets_
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Georgia Toffolo @ToffTalks
316K Followers 2K Following 🐾 Founder of https://t.co/50paAs6IvD delicious, nutritious dog food they were born to eat 👅 📺 Broadcaster 📚Sunday Times bestseller
Dadman Walking @dadmann_walking
56K Followers 1K Following introvert. Husband. Dad of 3. bourbon fund: Venmo- Shane83 My links! https://t.co/X1R5q5AVST seen in @Buzzfeed @Menshumor @HuffPostParents @cheezbur
VeryBritishProblems @SoVeryBritish
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The Prince and Prince.. @KensingtonRoyal
3.0M Followers 496 Following The official account of The Prince and Princess of Wales, based at Kensington Palace.
Have I Got News For Y.. @haveigotnews
1.1M Followers 138 Following This account is run by Hat Trick, who make HIGNFY. The BBC have asked us to point out it's nothing to do with them; the twitter feed that is, not the TV show.
The sunny side of Fra.. @AmschelKavka
146K Followers 9 Following Pep talk by Franz Kafka. "The last glass of milk has not yet been drunk." Franz Kafka, 1921.
What did we witness @WhatWeWitnessed
235K Followers 3 Following Any business or general enquiries contact: [email protected] Parody account - @SwissPeakCBD ‘WhatWeWitnessed’ for 40% off
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The Annasthesiologist @fuzzymittens
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Dr. Fiona Mattatall �.. @FionaMattatall
21K Followers 5K Following She/Her | 🇨🇦🇮🇪Ob/Gyn 🩺| Univ. of Calgary| gin🍸, music, history, film, med ed, women’s health, trans health 🏳️⚧️ inclusive care 🌈 Tweets are my own
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Terrible Maps @TerribleMaps
1.8M Followers 1K Following The home of terrible maps with a pinch of humour [email protected]My rule of thumb is if I order my food standing up, I’m not leaving a tip
I wasn’t built from millions of years of stardust to “reply to an email”
my husband and I were running from a demon who was trying to kill us (in a video game) and I was about to die bc I couldn’t find a hiding spot but then my husband gave me his hiding spot and the demon killed him instead of me and I was like omg babe noo and then I looted his body
them: you’re so lucky to not have kids me: that’s not luck it is on purpose
Dear old people, Being in bed by 9:00pm is amazing. Sorry for making fun of you.
“but it’s so beautiful outside!” ah but you see. it is also so beautiful inside
I've noticed that anyone driving slower than me is a dumb-ass and anyone driving faster than me is a maniac
I hope this email finds you- Waldo: *slams laptop shut* holy fuck that was close
Interviewer: where do you see yourself in 5 years. Me: still calling it Twitter.
Sometimes a "hey" can be the start to 3 years of trauma so l just don't reply
- jednog rođaka su mi zatvorili jer je pjevao “ustani bane”. - imam rodbinu u hercegovini i australiji - jbg jedan pradjed partizan ali nitko nije savršen
Obzirom da ne znam kakva nas vremena čekaju kad DP penetrira u vladu, želim ovim putem istaknuti neke svoje domovinske vrline: - išla sam u katoličku srednju obišla sam više crkvi u Hrvatskoj nego prosječni svećenik - udana, rodila. Sina, nego kako.
Od domovinskih vrlina ističem: -rodila 2 djece -uredno plaćam sve šta država traži -pričam lijepo o RH van njenih granica -znam napamet sve kitice himne -doma jedemo jela tradicionalne hrvatske kuhinje Bude li potrebe spremna sam razmislit i o tome da se upisem u crkveni zbor.
Obzirom da ne znam kakva nas vremena čekaju kad DP penetrira u vladu, želim ovim putem istaknuti neke svoje domovinske vrline: - išla sam u katoličku srednju obišla sam više crkvi u Hrvatskoj nego prosječni svećenik - udana, rodila. Sina, nego kako.
Pilates sounds so cute, dainty, and girly until you realize it’s lowkey really just military war training. Wtfff
Penavin temeljni uvjet za koaliciju je da se prestanu koristiti trosložne i višesložne riječi
Eldest daughter rage has to be one of the most justifiable forms of anger.
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