Varla @GelasticGoGo
The roof flew off & I got sucked into space. Not interested in your gods, goo slinger, or GOP bullshit. x.com/search?f=realt… in a state of confusion Joined January 2015-
Tweets34K
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Followers5K
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Following2K
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Likes36K
Varla retweeted
Sorry about the nosebleed, I was trying to give you an eskimo kiss.
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Varla retweeted
Oh ya, that's really interesting... I used to go to highschool with a chick named Sue Perbowl.
Varla retweeted
Whenever I walk past this I clap my hands, thanks @beck
Varla retweeted
I went out to dinner last night and left my phone at home like some kind of early stage dementia person. Wait...
Varla retweeted
You never forget who stepped up and who stepped away. I was stunned by both.
Varla retweeted
No, I didn't say I love you, I said Olive juice. I needed it for my drink, dummy. Olive juice.
@DaveK_Says I would do anything to be reincarnated into a life half as stressful as this bitch 😉
Update: she doesn't even care her gas is killing people. Zero fucks.
I wish I could retweet this dog fart that just kept me from falling asleep. If only to spread it out a little. Holy fuck.
When I'm still up & the languages on my tl start to diversify, it's time to go to bed.
Varla retweeted
Anjelica Huston got married to the inventor of autocorrect and now her legal name is Ageless Ice Houseboat.
Varla retweeted
Hubs, "If you could have anything in the world right now what would it be?" *thinks hard* Me, "17 Cheddar Bay biscuits from Red Lobster."
Varla retweeted
My party trick is choking on a cracker and coughing clouds of crumbs all around me.
Varla retweeted
Hate when people threaten me with, "I'll be right back."
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