Beer Me @c_hayes7
smart ass, love all Michigan sports teams - even the ones that suck. Joined February 2010-
Tweets747
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Followers406
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Following1K
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Likes952
Beer Me retweeted
All these new parents wanting time to slow down, and I’m over here trying to get a fake ID for my 4YO so she can go buy Mommy’s wine.
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Beer Me retweeted
What's the medical term for "I hate getting ready for work" because I have that.
Beer Me retweeted
[6 month dentist visit] Dentist: How often do you floss? Me: Every 6 months
RT:20% Promo code 456XVX5U!Check a.co/9pijUz5 #RC CAR#Remote Control Car#amazon#deal#shopping giveaway.amazon.com/p/2f83ac4ed228… #giveaway
RT:20% Promo code 456XVX5U!Check a.co/gfEueEB #RC CAR#Remote Control Car#amazon#deal#shopping giveaway.amazon.com/p/8801bbb5d52c… #giveaway
I entered a giveaway for a chance to win "HollyHOME 1500 Soft Hypoallergenic Brushed Mic..." by HollyHOME. giveaway.amazon.com/p/6d937e740c56… #giveaway
I entered a giveaway for a chance to win "Iserlohn 50ft Expandable Garden Hose with 8 Pat..." by Iserlohn. giveaway.amazon.com/p/5162c50dd30f… #giveaway
Beer Me retweeted
If you don't wear them down until they are a shell of a person, are you even married?
Beer Me retweeted
The difference between love for this country & hate, can be found in the difference between Pat Tillman(Hero🇺🇸) & Colin Kaepernick(Coward).
Beer Me retweeted
The best subtweets are those that are aimed at no one, but have the potential to offend anyone when combined with coincidence and guilt.
Beer Me retweeted
My 2-year-old just cheered as I poured myself a glass of wine, so apparently my entire family enjoys me more when I'm drinking.
Beer Me retweeted
Tom Cruise still does his own stunts at 55 and I just pulled a muscle reaching for the toilet paper...
Beer Me retweeted
I'm too poor to afford Whole Foods. I can only afford Partial Foods.
Beer Me retweeted
Caught my 2-year-old drinking out of the dog's water bowl. So there's that.
Beer Me retweeted
I tried to return my kids because I can't afford them, but the hospital called the cops.
Beer Me retweeted
Hell hath no fury like the menopausal woman trying to quit smoking and grow her bangs out at the same time...
Beer Me retweeted
Protip: Women do not consider puffer fish to be a cute pet name or compliment.
Beer Me retweeted
I too, am a natural disaster.
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