audrey @saint_audrey
retired goth, perfect woman instagram.com/audreym.b Brooklyn, NY Joined July 2019-
Tweets1K
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Followers9K
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Following714
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Likes28K
used sunscreen as setting spray for the first time in so long… suddenly I have hope
walking the streets of Manhattan, enjoying the beautiful architecture
I think if a car ran over just my foot reallyyy fast I’d be fine. what do you guys think?
I want an app that syncs my Venmo, period tracker, and Letterboxd. I want college acquaintances I’ll never see again to be able to comment “slay mama” on a post about me venmoing my roommate to rent Kung Fu Panda 3 and watching it during my luteal phase
Myself and @IraqWarLiker are hosting a comedy show on May 1st with an artistic flair. We got tired of “funny jokes” and are craving a veritable smorgasbord of intellectual humor. Finally, standup isn’t for stupid idiots anymore Featuring @nathanharenice @saint_audrey @layumps
this is what happens every damn time I ask a millennial for advice…
my boy roommates found a portrait of Elvis in the street, brought it home, put it in the floor against the wall. I asked if they wanted to hang it up (?) and they seemed genuinely surprised at the question and said they thought it looked great where it was
my friend just offered me a taco from his fanny pack. he said he brought homemade tacos to this cafe because he wanted to use the new fanny pack for something
I’ve got to learn the lesson that Maps cannot accurately predict how slow my little southern ass is going to walk somewhere
I used to be like ohh I’m so unlucky in love, my dating life is so bad, blah blah blah. girl you were just 19 years old
it is not fair that Hermione Granger got a time turner because she was too busy in her third year. she got time travel for eighth grade. I should get to do that NOW for my twenties COME ON. I’d be able to go to a networking coffee and a fun coffee at the same time 🙃 ok whatever
my roommates are arguing because one of them gave the fourth kung fu panda 3 stars on letterboxd and one of them gave it 2.5
I can’t believe the detail that Drake Bell’s abuser was openly PEN PALS with JOHN WAYNE GACY isn’t getting more attention
Caitlin Clark wanted to go to UCONN but they didn’t recruit her? Then she won against them? You guys didn’t tell me sports had lore!! now I’m interested!!!
kristofer thomas @kristoferthomas
91K Followers 591 Following comic, tv/screenwriter, idiot. mgmt: brillstein #WritersGuildOnStrike #WGAStrong
zach silberberg @zachsilberberg
54K Followers 4K Following tv in new york. no views my own. my birthday is this year
Haley OC @MILFWEEED
66K Followers 856 Following i like doing comedy, acting, writing and educating about/ingesting weed
niles @NILES100
39K Followers 2K Following movie star • @daveonfxx writer • watch my 2 comedy specials for free in that link below
cass city @HeavenlyGrandpa
27K Followers 869 Following i’m cassidy kulhanek i’m a comedian and my dad is very proud of me!
mar @itsmariannnna
20K Followers 512 Following part-time ceramicist, part-time funny person, full-time hottie! everything linked below 🫶🏼
rishi @rishipuff
24K Followers 2K Following artist and cyberbully. i write https://t.co/ZkJhrx6Siq and post on https://t.co/xwCDbf9vsL and https://t.co/QOyFQo4X4Z
Max Gross ☻ @maxgotjokes
18K Followers 2K Following Headlines @Reductress, features @TheOnion. Words @Slate @Autostraddle and more. The nation’s foremost scholar on “And Just Like That.” He/him
seynique — detroit .. @seynique
11K Followers 1K Following comedian. writer. podcaster. | she/her co-host of @everybodywspod & @wediefirstpod seyniquesmythecomedy @ https://t.co/NqCyCotNYi
charles entertainment.. @jmurffff
19K Followers 1K Following
limp brittzkit @Brittymigs
19K Followers 2K Following she/her. just a little snail girl trying to get by. @meatcats @reductress @cracked mgmt: [email protected]
Iris✨ @Jest_Iris
18K Followers 2K Following out of pocket bc my pants don't have any NYC Comedian Writer Gamer Jewish af IG: jest.iris | words in @Reductress & @HardDriveMag featured in @adweek
glennis ❤️🔥 @theglennisshow
11K Followers 1K Following @theglennisshow wherever there are glennis shows | extremely relatable & pretty traumatized comedian
CHR ✡️🇵🇸�.. @chargooond
2K Followers 5K Following I have no makeup on, but things are getting better (she/they)
Mirabelle @PzlfXh3Oj9gZRi8
85 Followers 1K Following 風雨を経験しなければ、虹を見ることはできない。磨かれなければ、ダイヤモンドになることはできない。堅持して、奮闘して、夢はついに実現します！頑張って！
James Mwaura @realjamesmwaura
610 Followers 427 Following lightskint standup comic. person woman man camera tv
matt @IraqWarLiker
662 Followers 586 Following i’m sorry about the username, i made this account in 2002. A major player down at the sewing store
Tom Drinking Coffee @TomDrinksCoffee
310 Followers 266 Following tweeting anytime I do something coffee related. inspired by @coffee_dad
Kayla Chow Show @KaylaChowShow
47K Followers 15K Following 💙 Survived my mid-mid-life crisis. //SUPER MARRIED//BOY MOM//CATS//TACOS//SUNSCREEN//BEER//MURDERINO//LACTOSE INTOLERANT// 💙VENMO @ Kayla-Chow-Show
Nick Hornedo @NickHornedo
2K Followers 1K Following Digital @ColumbiaSIPA | Comedian | ✏️ @McSweeneys @PointsInCase | will make you watch Scream (1996)
Baseball is Fun and G.. @BaseballisCamp
61 Followers 547 Following celebrating bat flips, anticlimactic "brawls," and all that makes baseball fun and good!
Scott Archer @slomosconow
3 Followers 478 Following
dr. whatever forever @Carly_Raedegger
297 Followers 5K Following Dr. thanks but no thanks (she/they)
auntie cistamine @laurenancona
30K Followers 18K Following neurodivergent public servant • learning to help • 338ppm • she • no DMs
MaidenFan6669 @MaidenFan6669
161 Followers 3K Following Listening to American Football while reading about American football.
J Loveshanks @JLoveshanks
262 Followers 687 Following Made an fpl twitter account to talk football and fpl. Didn’t put fpl in my name. Talk to lots of folk on fpl twitter - rarely about fpl though #FPLLeftClubhouse
Cutymeow 🩷🪼🪸.. @cutymeow23
27 Followers 63 Following
Paul Anthony Hoti @PotentialTutor
775 Followers 3K Following Writer, Director, Producer, Catholic "And He replied to him, 'Amen, I say to you, today you will be with Me in Paradise.'”
peeps @maybekellybitch
135 Followers 2K Following east coast. into plants, nature, art, gardening, animals, live music, GD. not into bios. she/her.
izzy @iluvbonnieraitt
31 Followers 151 Following
Ryan @Ryan45442861
13 Followers 49 Following
Steve M Russo @EhimaDerick7
36 Followers 919 Following Live life and love it tomorrow is not guarantee☺️🌹🆗
Rolli @rolliwrites
58K Followers 9K Following Author. Cartoonist. Coffeeholic (25 cups/day). Work in @nytimes @WSJ @Playboy @SatEvePost. Newsletter: https://t.co/rA5gYJVh3R. Buy me a ☕: https://t.co/p8MvV8VuZF
Leah Williams @leahgwilliams
1K Followers 2K Following the only living girl in hoboken • video & social media manager @tvinsider @tvguidemagazine • comedy producer // she/her
Catherine @CatherineKLind
594 Followers 557 Following opinions are my own, and buckle up, ‘cause I’ve got a lot of ‘em
Brandon Follick @follickacid
2K Followers 787 Following comedian & writer @reductress @theonion @newyorkerhumor @mcsweeneys @latestagelive he/him
Fred Perez @FredPerez870572
2 Followers 38 Following
Johnny Elmers @JohnnyElme70507
0 Followers 37 Following
Peter Carter @PeterCarte239
1 Followers 33 Following
Ricardo Charlson @RicardoCha99955
0 Followers 30 Following
Don Coleman @DonColeman95226
0 Followers 25 Following
Edgar King @EKing22715
0 Followers 34 Following
Bobby Gilbert @GilbertBob61370
6 Followers 48 Following
David Baldwin @DavidB75794
6 Followers 29 Following
Steve Gilbert @SGilbert23181
0 Followers 25 Following
Jon Rodriguez @JonRodrigu30703
3 Followers 23 Following
Jerry Carey @carey_jerr19108
0 Followers 29 Following
Micheal Fleming @FlemingMic99607
0 Followers 24 Following
Cory Barrington @Barrington9897
1 Followers 31 Following
Richard Chapman @RichardC48841
7 Followers 30 Following
Owen Eddington @eddington56181
1 Followers 40 Following
kristofer thomas @kristoferthomas
91K Followers 591 Following comic, tv/screenwriter, idiot. mgmt: brillstein #WritersGuildOnStrike #WGAStrong
zach silberberg @zachsilberberg
54K Followers 4K Following tv in new york. no views my own. my birthday is this year
Haley OC @MILFWEEED
66K Followers 856 Following i like doing comedy, acting, writing and educating about/ingesting weed
niles @NILES100
39K Followers 2K Following movie star • @daveonfxx writer • watch my 2 comedy specials for free in that link below
cass city @HeavenlyGrandpa
27K Followers 869 Following i’m cassidy kulhanek i’m a comedian and my dad is very proud of me!
Dylan Adler @DylanAdler6
40K Followers 2K Following If Yzma was Asian. Writer on @latelateshow @Dylanadler_ on insta He/Him
mar @itsmariannnna
20K Followers 512 Following part-time ceramicist, part-time funny person, full-time hottie! everything linked below 🫶🏼
rishi @rishipuff
24K Followers 2K Following artist and cyberbully. i write https://t.co/ZkJhrx6Siq and post on https://t.co/xwCDbf9vsL and https://t.co/QOyFQo4X4Z
Max Gross ☻ @maxgotjokes
18K Followers 2K Following Headlines @Reductress, features @TheOnion. Words @Slate @Autostraddle and more. The nation’s foremost scholar on “And Just Like That.” He/him
seynique — detroit .. @seynique
11K Followers 1K Following comedian. writer. podcaster. | she/her co-host of @everybodywspod & @wediefirstpod seyniquesmythecomedy @ https://t.co/NqCyCotNYi
charles entertainment.. @jmurffff
19K Followers 1K Following
limp brittzkit @Brittymigs
19K Followers 2K Following she/her. just a little snail girl trying to get by. @meatcats @reductress @cracked mgmt: [email protected]
Iris✨ @Jest_Iris
18K Followers 2K Following out of pocket bc my pants don't have any NYC Comedian Writer Gamer Jewish af IG: jest.iris | words in @Reductress & @HardDriveMag featured in @adweek
glennis ❤️🔥 @theglennisshow
11K Followers 1K Following @theglennisshow wherever there are glennis shows | extremely relatable & pretty traumatized comedian
CHR ✡️🇵🇸�.. @chargooond
2K Followers 5K Following I have no makeup on, but things are getting better (she/they)
James Mwaura @realjamesmwaura
610 Followers 427 Following lightskint standup comic. person woman man camera tv
matt @IraqWarLiker
662 Followers 586 Following i’m sorry about the username, i made this account in 2002. A major player down at the sewing store
Tom Drinking Coffee @TomDrinksCoffee
310 Followers 266 Following tweeting anytime I do something coffee related. inspired by @coffee_dad
Baseball is Fun and G.. @BaseballisCamp
61 Followers 547 Following celebrating bat flips, anticlimactic "brawls," and all that makes baseball fun and good!
Jay Agbon, Responsibl.. @jayagbonwashere
178 Followers 102 Following Jay Agbon. Comedian. Writer. University of Wakanda Alumni (2013). Generally Decent Human. 🇳🇬🇺🇸 … Responsible Child out 12/22/2023!
Rolli @rolliwrites
58K Followers 9K Following Author. Cartoonist. Coffeeholic (25 cups/day). Work in @nytimes @WSJ @Playboy @SatEvePost. Newsletter: https://t.co/rA5gYJVh3R. Buy me a ☕: https://t.co/p8MvV8VuZF
Leah Williams @leahgwilliams
1K Followers 2K Following the only living girl in hoboken • video & social media manager @tvinsider @tvguidemagazine • comedy producer // she/her
Catherine @CatherineKLind
594 Followers 557 Following opinions are my own, and buckle up, ‘cause I’ve got a lot of ‘em
Brandon Follick @follickacid
2K Followers 787 Following comedian & writer @reductress @theonion @newyorkerhumor @mcsweeneys @latestagelive he/him
Josh Gondelman @joshgondelman
200K Followers 4K Following Year round iced coffee drinker. Stand-up special "People Pleaser" out now. Previously: Last Week Tonight, Mrs. Maisel, Head Writer/EP Desus & Mero.
Union Hall @UnionHallNY
9K Followers 4K Following Union Hall is a 5,000-square-foot bar, restaurant, and live music and comedy venue in Park Slope, Brooklyn.
Evan Lazarus @elazie_
324 Followers 347 Following this is a great place for you to find out I am serverly dyselxic (he/they)
Live Forever @LiveForeverYo
121 Followers 103 Following Immortal comedy show run by @feldfrog and @camerobradford. Now at Union Hall! Rude tweets by Benny
Dorian DeBose @VerboseDebose
818 Followers 867 Following Teachin’ bitches how to swim | Riz Khalifa | Daddio
Tommy Bayer @tommybayertime
19K Followers 870 Following doin stand up for now @wecoolpodcast email me for stuff [email protected]
Ella YurWOman @EllaJoyWrites
175 Followers 201 Following | terms of service violation | she/her | @somemorenews, @t4tcomedy, etc |
ceren @turk1shprincess
4K Followers 833 Following (selin) resident lesbian heartthrob of new york city . esmé’s lil bitch boy . mortal enemy of all psychiatrists . loves an old ass cat… nyu msw ‘24
Michael Kandel @K_A_N_D_E_L
8K Followers 1K Following Intimacy Coordinator, Tracker (CBS). Formerly: Intimacy Coordinator, Bob ❤️ Abishola (CBS). @hotelartthief
Django Gold @django
19K Followers 1K Following comedic entity // formerly for Colbert, the Onion // watch BAG OF TRICKS, link below
halle @hcp721
351 Followers 246 Following
Shame Spiral Podcast @podshamespiral
3K Followers 278 Following therapist-turned-comedian @elykreimendahl & guests on what makes them SPIRAL. like listening in on a therapy session, but funny ❤️
Tom Cecil @scopgieb
2K Followers 723 Following I’m just a guy who loves a bargain and hanging out. Mentally trapped here
gaz @gazpachomachine
98K Followers 1K Following Sometimes I review food in the shower | All Reviews: https://t.co/sbof3C7kmr | [email protected] | Text or call me 404-548-8034
Gabe Mollica @GabeMollica
2K Followers 3K Following “Solo: a show about friendship” Off-Broadway. Listen to Ep. 810 of This American Life. ➡️➡️➡️➡️➡️Tix ⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️
california sober @calisoberfilm
171 Followers 62 Following a stoner buddy comedy for the girlies by @showmetheyamz @burratababe
Peter Clark-Deutsch @PeterClarkJokes
389 Followers 323 Following Comedy Person, Head Writer for @JumpKickFunding Other words in @HardDriveMag @REALpunknews @PointsinCase @WeeklyHumorist
GAY SHAME COMEDY SHOW.. @GayShameComedy
357 Followers 86 Following monthly queer comedy show by @elykreimendahl & @sheriadidthat! next up 4/16 😻 7:30pm 💅🏻 @unionhallny 🌈
Chandler Dean @chandlerjdean
4K Followers 997 Following Comedian & Speechwriter / @WestWingWriters / Satire @newyorker @mcsweeneys @reductress / Performer @ucbtny @CaveatNYC / Prev: @harddrivemag, Lovett or Leave It
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1K Followers 984 Following lactose intolerant photographer + product manager. she/her. instagram: chrisrosecas 💌: [email protected]
Faculty Statement on Imminent Police Action at Columbia University The American Association of University Professors, Columbia University Chapter For immediate release: April 30, 2024, 8:00pm At this hour, the NYPD is massing on barricaded streets outside the gates of Columbia…
Universities, like Columbia, must ask themselves, “under what conditions would they permit the police to kill one of its students or one of its faculty members. Is Columbia willing to have police kill one of its students today? That is the gamble they’re taking.
Now is as good time as any to remind folks that NYPD *overtime* this fiscal year is on track to reach nearly $1 billion. I wonder how much they’ll bill NYers for brutalizing students tonight…
NYPD overtime spending for this fiscal year, which runs through June 30, is projected to clock in at $961 million, City Hall officials said in a briefing a bit ago. Officials are citing this to increased subway patrols and protest duty.
if you don’t allow legal observers you are absolutely planning on doing something you shouldn’t. period.
According to Columbia by-laws, police are not supposed to be allowed on campus without the consent of the faculty. President Shafik does *not* have our approval for this raid; she has not even asked our approval. This promises to be a horrifying dereliction of faculty governance
Please, everyone, remember this: the presence of police on Columbia's campus comes because of the request of the administration, in defiance of faculty governance. This is the authoritarian university in action.
According to Columbia by-laws, police are not supposed to be allowed on campus without the consent of the faculty. President Shafik does *not* have our approval for this raid; she has not even asked our approval. This promises to be a horrifying dereliction of faculty governance
The way WKCR journalists are handling copaganda (insisting on confirmation and verification before repeating tropes and rumors) versus the way CNN is not only uncritically repeating police statements but marveling at their tactics is truly something to behold.
A very surefire way to ensure that students and young people will never vote for your party again is by unleashing a paramilitary force against their friends.
Joe Biden campaign officially dies tonight. With a naked and brutal display of fascism in the nation's largest city, mobilized against unarmed students on their own campus. This is what he said he would prevent Trump from doing. This is why we said there was no difference.
nypd is going to *at best* assault a bunch of college students to defend the right of a foreign country to slaughter civilians without being scrutinized. how can anyone stomach this? will people finally wake up en masse?
What’s happening at Columbia will go down as a pivotal moment in U.S. student protest history. Yet Columbia, home to the Pulitzers and the Knight First Amendment, isn’t letting journalists, faculty, researchers in.
In a country where children go hungry, people die unhoused and libraries are only open part time, this is where our resources go
Police were quite literally throwing tables and pushing students down the stairs until one passed out. Inviting the NYPD onto campus at @Columbia University has both destroyed more property and endangered more people than the original occupation of the building.
this is on the watch of a democratic mayor, governor, and president. And they expect to convince voters that we need to reelect them in order to stave off authoritarianism? ...How?
The NYPD threatened all press who leave the Pulitzer building will be arrested, including the DEAN. This joke of a school is repressing press in the exact building the Pulitzer prize for journalism is given out. If it wasn't so horrific the irony would be laughable
we are supposed to believe that the young people working to end mass slaughter are the threat and that the riot squads sent in to brutalize them are the peacekeepers
WKCR points out that columbia is claiming that NYPD was needed bc the protestors who took over hind hall are outside agitators, not students, but IF that’s true, it’s due to their own security failure, since campus has been closed to anyone without a student ID for 2 weeks
"This generation of youth have spent their entire lives in fear of having guns pointed at them in schools; what a disgrace for America that is now their own schools that are pointing the guns at them." --Josh Paul, former Director, US Department of State (resigned in protest)
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