Just Norm @funnyguy
I'm a fake expert comedian on life. I write jokes and do stand-up and improv comedy. For entertainment purposes only. In My Head Joined December 2007-
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Mark Normand's Surprising Comedy Tips youtu.be/kwJasmlQxV4?si…
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Friend: You want to go camping? Me: No!... Friend: why? Me: I'd rather eat crappy chicken wings in a comedy club.
I get more laughs in person then here. It used to be the other way in the past.
Whatever happened to Truthful Tuesdays? Truth is I don't miss them.
Boxing Ref: “Okay gentlemen, I want a clean fight. No hitting below the belt.”.... Me, wearing my belt as a headband.
When my Dad had a bad day he would hit the liquor store on his way to the bar. He told the guy, "I'm here to make the beer taste less lonely."
Health food in the 1980s was like, "This yogurt has only 30 grams of sugar!" It was a simpler, more diabetic time.
I lost a sock in the dryer in 1989. Last week, it came back with a degree in dryer mechanics and a thesis on lint.
Just Norm retweeted
The Tortured Poets Department. An anthology of new works that reflect events, opinions and sentiments from a fleeting and fatalistic moment in time - one that was both sensational and sorrowful in equal measure. This period of the author’s life is now over, the chapter closed and…
Society tells you, "You can't teach an old dog new tricks." That's because society is too busy teaching young dogs how to be good consumers.
Curiosity killed the cat, but it was really the vet bills that finished the job.
Just Norm retweeted
IYKYK
Carlin nailed it in 2005! youtube.com/shorts/HnP1mEF… via @YouTube
Most of the comedy podcasts right now are just a giant circle jerk.
Jay Mohr telling a street joke as Norm Macdonald in heaven. Call it a go... youtube.com/shorts/gJa-Byf…
Just Norm retweeted
Hey friends, your only “forever home” is your grave.
Scott Linnen @ScottLinnen
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Shane @shanethevein
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Mikey from Canarsie. .. @mikeym00n
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B.C. Drury @BDGarp
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Verifried Drunk™®�.. @VerifiedDrunk
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Tony P. @Tbone7219
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Craving @calluptome
15K Followers 5K Following wifey @JaymianaJones & I have seen it all used to travel now wants to hide ❤️horror films https://t.co/j1tRiOtekK
Tracie Breaux @traciebreaux
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Böb Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke
39K Followers 10K Following Chicago Member FDIC Views are my own because you're not brave enough I write this for fun https://t.co/heH4IlIEWZ I know who DB Cooper is.
Dana Carvey @danacarvey
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Dr. Mansour Mansour @DrMansourMansou
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MerrileeYap @MerrileeYa44146
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Alan W. Silberberg �.. @IdeaGov
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Rose Mary @HarryLeo590274
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mariana Z @mariana057
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Onelove1120 @Lovermamma20
2K Followers 3K Following Truth is truth. You can disagree with my point I would give O fks. You can choose lies over truth, and get blocked, and or muted.
Julie Sullivan @CureLongCovid
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Grace Miller @XBai12312767
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Cristal JL Wolf🐺�.. @CristalLoeffler
3K Followers 4K Following Ambivert🌺 artist🎨 animal❤️er Pro Choice♀️ LGBTQ+🌈 proud mom😍 & wife💍💘 bluecrew 🌊 resister 💙 BLM🖤 Fan of delicious flavor🍍snark & shenanigans🥸 🚫DMs🖕
Denise Daniels-Hall @DeniseDanielsH5
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Señor Don ˈPerədē @scaredketchup
13K Followers 9K Following if you want to see the full length versions of all my videos and support me at the same time, watch and share the YouTube links. It’s how I make the cheddar
Louise 、Anna @lovegymLouise
176 Followers 816 Following Amateur model, Muay Thai practitioner, a working woman, trying to make life better
Cindyxo #arab #milf #.. @ArabicSugarxoXo
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DonutHawk @StruggleDisplay
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Anshuman Mukund Shank.. @ansh_roger007
1K Followers 5K Following Healthcare Mgr,Saviour of million lives, Scion of (Ex Multi Billionaire) Family of Maheshwar Ji Dave(Thamna, Hata(MP).Royal Family. Guj/MP. Royal 🧛♂️Vampire
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Matty @bestestname
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il padrino @john_faidutti
317K Followers 268K Following #legalize #resistance #liberal #guitars #concert #Italia #cowboynation #whitesox #vegan #blackhawks #saluki #Udine #animalrights #deadhead do what’s right
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Awayfromdivine @sweatheartmoony
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Brielle Kerby @brielle_kerby
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ROZZO GREGORY @RozzoGrego94237
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Mikhail @Mikhail09567289
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👑Snarky Princess�.. @iamn0ty0urstar
12K Followers 11K Following Classy, sassy, and a bit smart ass-y.
Linda @turtledumplin
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Sara @Sara91470144872
35 Followers 851 Following On a journey to expand my circle|Seeking kindred spirits and new adventures|Lover of good conversations and shared laughter|Let's explore this world together!
Kyla Wayne @Kylawayne1978
8 Followers 248 Following Living life with my family and one adventure at a time
Caro who loves Christ.. @CaroChristmas
1K Followers 3K Following Minding my Da with Dementia Love rugby 🏉 Love music, gigs & festivals🕺love good food. kKds abroad 🐶 RIP ALFIE. Let’s save🇺🇦 & Gaza MA in IR
Ted Smith 🇪🇺 @TedUrchin
25K Followers 15K Following Author of Blotto - https://t.co/3ei7qSYR25 - painter and artist. Labour Party member but forced to vote LibDem because of the iniquity of FPTP voting system.
KaronShropshire @KShropshir69533
118 Followers 2K Following
Before the Storm Book.. @BeforeStormBook
17K Followers 17K Following Before The Storm by Patrick McCarthy #books #sciencefiction #fantasy #fantasybooks #writingcommunity #amwriting #amquerying #middlegradefantasy
Linda Santos @Anni30555
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Harold Phifer @hephifer
6K Followers 6K Following Worked n U S, Iraq, & Afghan. Survived Haters, Bullying, Backstabbers, & The Taliban. Got d T-shirt & d Stories: Readers R Leaders. I WILL Follow Back!
shauna @goldengateblond
340K Followers 2K Following I didn’t pay for this shit. goldengateblond on all the platforms.
Scott Linnen @ScottLinnen
17K Followers 2K Following Hamburger Helper. Because a severed hand told me to.
Shane @shanethevein
18K Followers 3K Following I don't care about politics, especially yours. Padres fan.
Mikey from Canarsie. .. @mikeym00n
9K Followers 7K Following Humor,musician,mental health,kayaking, biking, Retired, owned by cats, jack-of-all-trades. ✡️🌈Kindness matters!
B.C. Drury @BDGarp
15K Followers 4K Following BD. Author of Dreams of Perfection (2000). Online Film Critics Society alum, Rotten Tomatoes
Verifried Drunk™®�.. @VerifiedDrunk
28K Followers 2K Following The later the tweet, the drunker I am. it/that/drunk
💙 His Trials and T.. @CamusOverEasy
20K Followers 16K Following I like Albert Camus and eggs over easy. What's the point of dying if nobody knows you're dead? I can't walk a mile in your shoes if you're wearing them. 凡人
Ivsy @Ivsy01
40K Followers 9K Following drinking slurpees in front of 7-eleven with @The_Getawaygirl My thoughts in a box. my tweets 🤦♀️ https://t.co/0g8VMFzt2k
Tony P. @Tbone7219
43K Followers 19K Following
Ginny Hogan @ginnyhogan_
165K Followers 6K Following thank you for bearing with me, links to everything below
Craving @calluptome
15K Followers 5K Following wifey @JaymianaJones & I have seen it all used to travel now wants to hide ❤️horror films https://t.co/j1tRiOtekK
Tracie Breaux @traciebreaux
31K Followers 4K Following Book writer. Dog petter. Mental Health/Child Abuse Awareness Advocate. https://t.co/r0jtKGqvbl
donni saphire @donni
60K Followers 2K Following Skeptical of most squirrels. Friendly comedian. More jokes on @[email protected]. Producer on The Love Below at Beermiscuous in Lincoln Park. Hat avoider.
Rodney Lacroix @RodLacroix
43K Followers 6K Following Disappointing people since 1968. | EVERYTHING: https://t.co/JN2RmmKWfK | Latest Tweets: https://t.co/BuhDfbbFkq | Top Tweets: https://t.co/3B9KMSYvlv
Rex Huppke @RexHuppke
96K Followers 1K Following (VERY SERIOUS) @USATODAY humor(ish) columnist. Hypocrisy enthusiast. WOKE MOB, CO-FOUNDER. ENEMY OF THE PEOPLE (2017 to present).
Cat From Nowhere @kv8
17K Followers 10K Following omnipresent in absentia, perchance frittering my time away on twitter. ok fine, X. .•| sui juris |•.
Böb Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke
39K Followers 10K Following Chicago Member FDIC Views are my own because you're not brave enough I write this for fun https://t.co/heH4IlIEWZ I know who DB Cooper is.
Dana Carvey @danacarvey
332K Followers 48K Following TheWeirdPlace : https://t.co/KTkix3ndeg - SuperFly : https://t.co/gB8k3znYe9 - FlyOnTheWall : https://t.co/gB8k3znYe9
CrankyPappy @CrankyPappy
191K Followers 174K Following We huddle together & tweet for courage in the dark • Those who know do not tweet. Those who tweet do not know. • Tweet less, feel better.
Dr. Mansour Mansour @DrMansourMansou
4K Followers 2K Following 🇪🇬🇩🇪 ☮️✌️💟 ☪️ ☯️, RT≠ Endorsement, for a more just world. egalitarian, for those who did not get their rights yet, against Antisemitism ☪️💓✡️for 🇵🇸
The Nostalgic @TheNostalgicCo
43K Followers 6K Following We all have stories where the contents are way better than the cover. type1diabetes celiac advocate for a cure. insulinshouldbefree
Chris Hayes @chrislhayes
2.3M Followers 2K Following Dad to Ryan, David and Anya. Proud husband of @kateashaw1 Host: @allinwithchris on MSNBC, weeknights 8pm. #WITHPod Host Bronx boy; Cubs fan gram: chrislhayes
Elizabeth de la Vega @Delavegalaw
157K Followers 4K Following 21yr Fed Pros (Org Crime, Chief SJ Branch), Past Stanford Law Pro Bono Dir/Lecturer & US Dist Ct. Clerk. Pub.
Norman Ornstein @NormOrnstein
238K Followers 4K Following Emeritus scholar at the American Enterprise Institute, contributing editor for the Atlantic, cohost with Dr. Kavita Patel of the podcast Words Matter.
Kerryn Feehan @FeehanKerryn
11K Followers 74 Following
Rick Wilson @TheRickWilson
1.6M Followers 8K Following Lincoln Project. Award-winning ad-maker. Writer. Instrument-rated pilot. NYT #1 best-seller. Pod: The Enemies List. Writing: https://t.co/e04n749N5H
H.E. MIC @MIC_btc
3K Followers 4K Following Chaos is limited to a given observer's ability to understand.
The Layoff Tracker �.. @WhatLayoff
10K Followers 4 Following Wondering WhatLayoff just occurred? Follow for real-time, verified updates on layoffs worldwide.
Kyle Griffin @kylegriffin1
1.4M Followers 761 Following Executive Producer @TheWeekendMSNBC. Opinions mine. Do not congratulate. THREADS @griffinkyle
Real Life Mommy @reallifemommy3
33K Followers 3K Following Twitter is cheaper than therapy. Tweets are mine 👀@huffpost @TODAY_Parents @buzzfeed @babycenter @chicagotribune @boredpanda @thepoke @thechive ...
mariana Z @mariana057
110K Followers 38K Following I’m not a comedian, but I joke a lot. I steal the good jokes. Bad jokes are mine. https://t.co/vuTppu9Ipm Resist. NO DMS. https://t.co/NYnPEaUuzV🌊🌊
BNO News @BNONews
479K Followers 11 Following Breaking news and developing stories from the U.S. and around the world. For insights, follow @BNODesk. Hit the subscribe button to support our work.
The Thinking Atheist @ThinkingAtheist
113K Followers 567 Following The Thinking Atheist isn't a person. It's an idea, an encouragement for all of us to reject faith and embrace reason. Hosted by @SethAndrewsTTA
800 Pound Gorilla Med.. @800pgm
2K Followers 1K Following Improving the human experience through shared laughter 🦍
Victoria @victoriaslog
20K Followers 312 Following Balance is key to everything. Life is made of the little moments. Peace through strength 💙💛
Joshua Turek @JoshuaTurek
7K Followers 680 Following writer, comedian, viral video maker, poet and host of Turek Books Podcast
Friendly Atheist @friendlyatheism
969 Followers 532 Following welcome! free thought. freedom from religion. if you're offended easily I suggest you leave. :) have a great day!
Hemant Mehta @hemantmehta
108K Followers 253 Following Jeopardy! champ everywhere but Canada. Writer. YouTuber. Podcaster. [email protected]. https://t.co/a8U9iKt0LP
Spencer Althouse @SpencerAlthouse
40K Followers 926 Following Deputy Editorial Director @BuzzFeed. I write about TV and movies. Oscars enthusiast. [email protected]
Tulsi Gabbard 🌺 (P.. @TulsiGabbardrep
89K Followers 1K Following Patriot🇺🇸. MAGA. Surfer. Dog lover. (parody)
Media Liarz @MediaLiarz
1K Followers 419 Following Here to call out the corrupt media, their fucking lies, and their sheep. Deprogramming you along the way.
Liz Cheney @Liz_Cheney
678K Followers 968 Following Proud rodeo mom, soccer mom, baseball mom, hockey mom, constitutional conservative.
Nikki Glaser @NikkiGlaser
502K Followers 2K Following comedian with my own reality series “Welcome Home Nikki Glaser?” that starts May 1st on E! I also do a podcast, tour, and host fboy island.
Matty @bestestname
13K Followers 6K Following Twitter is easy. You just have to be funny all the time or no one will love you.
horse dentist @equine__dentist
30K Followers 882 Following horse god formerly known as balthazar the exalted
No Dem Left Behind @NoDemLeftBehind
59K Followers 3K Following We are building a grassroots movement dedicated to revitalizing rural America. Join us https://t.co/BWpQBDNHnz…
Taylor Williamson (YO.. @TaylorComedy
57K Followers 2K Following 🥈 on AGT. First ever Jewish comedian. 🚨 NEW COMEDY SPECIAL OUT NOW! 😄 ⬇️ TOUR! WA • KY • SAN DIEGO • ATL and more!
Burnt Orange Nation @BON_SBNation
51K Followers 899 Following Tweets from the writers at Burnt Orange Nation, @sbnation's blog covering all University of #Texas athletics. Controversial takes usually from @willcurrys
The Guy @theguydf
13K Followers 849 Following Producer of @doinitpodcast. Host of @failinguppod. Previously hosted @DecentlyFunny. Mostly funny, sometimes stupid, slightly political, rarely profound.
Taylor Swift @taylorswift13
95.3M Followers 0 Following All’s fair in love and poetry... New album THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT. Out now 🤍
LuigiBOmalley2 @LuigiOmalley2
1K Followers 335 Following If you can’t be with the one you love,love the one you’re with …..Husband Dad Proud Grandpa Bro #NYYankees #NYGiants #PreWarJazz NoMaga FkNRA LGBT🏳️🌈Welcome
Sinful Sidney @sinfulsidjailed
255 Followers 831 Following This is my jailed account. My primary account is @sinfulsidney. Also at: [email protected].
Biden-Harris HQ @BidenHQ
339K Followers 4 Following Just the facts, Jack. We’re on the other website, too: https://t.co/9Z2jW1VQ7a
Republicans against T.. @RpsAgainstTrump
637K Followers 5K Following Pro-democracy conservatives Republicans fighting Trump & Trumpism. Please support our work: https://t.co/FkmisNic4X
Linda @turtledumplin
66K Followers 6K Following Peecan Sandies Cult // Little hippie, little hood https://t.co/KkBGIMKsxa other account 👉🏼 @indigo_raven_
Nateland Entertainmen.. @nateland_ent
10K Followers 19 Following Your comedy destination from Nate Bargatze and friends . Listen or watch (Youtube) new episodes every Wednesday
Dusty Slay @dustyslay
17K Followers 735 Following New full one hour special “Workin’ Man” streaming now on Netflix. Click the link below for tickets:
Not Today Eric @NotTodayEric
27K Followers 9K Following Gen X Superhero. Old people jokes for my old people followers. 90’s Kid Alumni. #cheeseburgers
Raptor Apocalypse @RaptorApocalyp1
403 Followers 582 Following Get out of Blue cities. Three before thirty. Christian morals. Stay healthy. Win.
Dr. Deprogram @RebootedAmerica
10K Followers 2K Following Pattern Recognitionist. Narrative Control Dissector. Historical Detective. Critical Thinker. Adult Human Female. No DMs… too many crazies out there.
Myrna Tellingheusen @PearlsFromMyrna
147K Followers 90 Following NOW ON MASTODON @[email protected] Retired executive secretary for Mr. Stanley Bogenshoots, Senior Vice President at Hughes Aircraft.
S̲uper H̲uman A̲ut.. @_indica_sky
45K Followers 2K Following
Suugah Boogah @N_Doemostmuted
8K Followers 4K Following Laugh, joke and talk my shit...You can argue with yourself......#RaiderNation #Lakeshow #Dodgers
Eve Edison @lastpowerranger
13K Followers 14K Following Woman constantly on the precipice of getting banned from Twitter for some reason. The nicest enemy of the State on this platform. #Freedom
I hope one or more dogs treat Kristi Noem with the exact same amount of compassion and respect for life that she graciously showed the dog she murdered.
Anyone who says that they're the only one who can solve a problem is usually part of the problem if not the actual cause of it.
There's nothing this Supreme Court hates more than pesky, annoying facts. They prefer to rule on hypotheticals.
I had a mood ring in the 5th grade so nobody would fuck with me.
George Conway: Trump trial first witness’s testimony is 'damning' and could land ex-president in jail alternet.org/george-conway-…
My account keeps unfollowing people without my knowledge. Let me know if I owe you a follow.❤️
I try to eat healthy. I never sprinkle salt on ice-cream. I only eat decaffeinated coffee and my pizza is 100% fat free.
Greg Abbott sent is gone squad to go brutalize student because of their free speech. The governors, arrested journalist and student. welcome to fascism in Texas. zionism.
In Greg Abbott’s Texas, our first amendment rights are under attack. DPS is beating and arresting students and journalists at the University of Texas. This must stop.
🇺🇸 USA: The anti-Israel demonstrators in Texas are discovering that Texas is not New York. Texas Governor Greg Abbott (Republican) dispatched a force of the National Guard to disperse the anti-Israel 'demons-trators'.
Texas Governor Greg Abbott not only violated his own law but also trampled on the First Amendment rights.
Hey the voter turnout for young people in Texas when Beto ran against Greg Abbott was abysmal. Now they have lost their right to reproductive health care and their right to protest. Elections have consequences.
Uh oh guys, the protesters at the University of Texas are getting out of hand so the military deployed Captain Greg Abbott of the 101st Chairborne Division
BREAKING NEWS: GREG ABBOTT WHEELIE, WHEELIE ANGRY AT ME RIGHT NOW
A little Vince Young’s Steakhouse action for portal DL target Damonic Williams tonight in Austin.
Dinner with @CoachSark 🙏🏽
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