April💥 @thisisapril00
Call me https://t.co/TNsjfistAi Southeast US🇺🇸 Joined September 2011-
Tweets58K
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Followers23K
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Following10K
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Likes159K
My daughter’s birthday is tomorrow. If you were to pack a “survival kit” for a 30 year old, mother of three, what would you put in it?
If someone is hurting, reach out to them. Sometimes all that they need is to know that someone is listening. That someone cares.
Sometimes you just need to slap their ass, pull their panties down, bend them over, and fuck their horrible day out of them…
It’s ok if the neighbors wake up smelling smoke. I’m just burning my house down, not theirs.
Sorry is for screw-ups and criminals and I am neither.
It takes only 21 seconds for mammals to pee.
Opened up a new roll of toilet tissue, and what do you know: classified documents inside.
There’s a fine line between optimistic & delusional
Quick question for the hookers on here, are y’all all still mad at me?
You can start a fire in your kitchen sink or you can fall in love. The risks are about the same
ChiChi Greenblatt @ChiChiGreenblat
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Unwavering certainty is a mental illness. Of this, I am sure.
I would drop a gym selfie but the lighting in this McDonald’s is awful.
I’m Rockin’ Chicagofest ‘78 today. I was actually down there, I think it was ‘79, though. I remember asking my mom why they made buildings that look like corn cobs.
#NewProfilePic time to put up the Christmas pfp
Did they personally set out to destroy you… …or did they try to love you, grew to understand that they were inadequate & handled that harsh truth like a child…
Today it was revealed that Former President Carter asked Joe Biden to give his eulogy. Here are some things to remember Carter by while he's still with us: - At 95-years-old he continued to build homes with Habitat for Humanity as seen below. - In the 1960’s he supported civil…
@thisisapril00 Always a little more than the tip. Wink. Wink.
@thisisapril00 Yes. And buy then dinner. And lots of drinks.