Karen @amusedbyu
Wash your fucking hands Vancouver B.C. Joined September 2011-
Tweets25K
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Followers10K
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Following6K
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Likes25K
Karen retweeted
My neighbor told me he heard me “having sex” this morning. I was putting on my shoes.
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Karen retweeted
My poor German shepherds. Lol. Love em.
Karen retweeted
Sorry I'm late, but I was showing my husband the proper way to squeeze the toothpaste tube.
Karen retweeted
the opposite of a debbie downer is bethamphetamine
Karen retweeted
23 years, 8 months, and 6 days of marriage comes to an end, not with a bang… …but with a Zoom call
Karen retweeted
Why I gotta write something else if the card already says “happy birthday”
Karen retweeted
Tell your wife I won’t fuck you either
Karen retweeted
I’m not good at math but I do know plus signs mean pregnancy
Karen retweeted
My son asked me where milk comes from so I explained how we suck it out of a pregnant cow’s dick and he was like “no I meant like is it from a store or does it get delivered”
Karen retweeted
Once I learn two-way radio protocol it's over for you bitches, over.
Karen retweeted
Don't leave crumbs in the butter you skank.
Karen retweeted
My standards aren’t very high. If you spell masturbate correctly I’ll follow back
Karen retweeted
My favorite outdoors activity is getting my packages at the door and bringing them in
Karen retweeted
My newest tinder profile is just me sitting on a Peleton eating pork rinds
Karen retweeted
Forget the elephant in the room. Let’s talk about the camel in your pants.
Karen retweeted
I didn’t Survive Andy Dick and Pauly Shore to be Taken Out by a Goddam Virus.
Böb Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke
39K Followers 10K Following Chicago Member FDIC Views are my own because you're not brave enough I write this for fun https://t.co/heH4IlIEWZ I know who DB Cooper is.
Trey @treydayway
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Boyd's Backyard™ @TheBoydP
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tazz @noneofyours99
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Annie Hatfield @AnneHatfieldVO
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61K Followers 4K Following murder and cake. https://t.co/O1Sm1XVNmo
Not Today Eric @NotTodayEric
27K Followers 9K Following Gen X Superhero. Old people jokes for my old people followers. 90’s Kid Alumni. #cheeseburgers
The B. @anerdonfire2
37K Followers 14K Following My thoughts were full of other things when I wandered off the path. Dante Alighieri, Inferno
Betty Botticelli @Faungirl123
58K Followers 5K Following lost in the woods, probably gonna die. I take pictures of stuff and things. Other account @BettyBully12
Amanda B @amandajpanda
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Alfie @DownFrontArtist
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Stefan Urquelle @OfficeofSteve
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ForuMMail @ForumMail88
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Funny Snarky Humor @FUNNYsnarkyJOKE
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Lee @LeeCThompson
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Vincent Radio @adrixnt
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chaos @chaosmayhem2015
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LSU Fan Up North @br93765960
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Tony @HereNowTony
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Pitbull_heaven_🇺�.. @Pitbull_heaven_
912 Followers 3K Following 🇺🇸🇺🇸“A #Pitbull is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.” – ...🥰🥰
Alex Mitchell @AlexMit19985386
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damaged goods 2 @AminVirji
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Whitedarthhelmethoriz.. @Whitedarthelmet
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Richard-Richard @RZbilski
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Robert 🇺🇸 @Rotter778
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🏈💛❤ChiefsChic.. @tacobella_89
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Oldaugie @oldaugie
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scruffy07 @scruffy07
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The_Higher_Choice @TheChoice42
435 Followers 3K Following Black Owned Small Local Business Cannabis Creations🧪🌿 Seed➡️Plant➡️Product Custom Orders Available! Dm Us. https://t.co/TmQCWe4XoU
c i n @SexyAsCin
12K Followers 10K Following I’m verified. My blue check was free. I got the discounted, invisible version.
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Knowledge King @KnowledgeKingz
364 Followers 3K Following #Excellence and a #Champion as being a #PMP only #700000 in the World. #KingLouisXVI and #BenjaminFranklin #Lineage
A Fink @AnnFink55
641 Followers 2K Following 💙Animal Love/Care Giver, 💙Minnesota Proud,Yoga teacher, 💙#BLM, 💙 #NeverTrumper 💙 🌊🌊🌊🌊🌊💙💙💙💙
tebse @IbrahemMossa7
282 Followers 3K Following
chase clark @kydeerslayer
382 Followers 2K Following Country man from Kentucky what else needs said.
Böb Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke
39K Followers 10K Following Chicago Member FDIC Views are my own because you're not brave enough I write this for fun https://t.co/heH4IlIEWZ I know who DB Cooper is.
Trey @treydayway
41K Followers 6K Following *Something profound* - @treydayway https://t.co/c64nfwFO1X
Boyd's Backyard™ @TheBoydP
102K Followers 20K Following I’d rather be working on my yard. #envydastrength I retweet regular people. My tweets are here: https://t.co/zOIJ18SHBV
tazz @noneofyours99
85K Followers 46K Following Army Veteran, atheist, here to share some laughs, it's the universal language I ❤️Animals #supportmentalhealth squirrel mama ,wildlife rescue 🔥Memphis🔥
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Marcmywords @Marcmywords2
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C’est La Vie @Robert_Beau
57K Followers 50K Following Real Deal ~ Part Time Penis Model ~ Full Time Asshole
Annie Hatfield @AnneHatfieldVO
48K Followers 6K Following Tall, pale, relentlessly cheerful. https://t.co/vhLLPJmuO2
Stabbatha Christy @LoveNLunchmeat
61K Followers 4K Following murder and cake. https://t.co/O1Sm1XVNmo
Not Today Eric @NotTodayEric
27K Followers 9K Following Gen X Superhero. Old people jokes for my old people followers. 90’s Kid Alumni. #cheeseburgers
The B. @anerdonfire2
37K Followers 14K Following My thoughts were full of other things when I wandered off the path. Dante Alighieri, Inferno
Betty Botticelli @Faungirl123
58K Followers 5K Following lost in the woods, probably gonna die. I take pictures of stuff and things. Other account @BettyBully12
Amanda B @amandajpanda
14K Followers 2K Following Pepsi, Please. Garlic Girl. Beverage Goblin. Cheeseburgers. 🍔
Alfie @DownFrontArtist
54K Followers 48K Following There is no show without business. https://t.co/X2EN341vnk
Stefan Urquelle @OfficeofSteve
25K Followers 10K Following you've been smooching with everybody Blocked by https://t.co/SziO9kNFRO https://t.co/DaU98OFAMv
THE Happy Ninja @HapiNinja
2K Followers 404 Following do you really care? married. girl dad. . Jimmy Fallon follows me. will definitely disappoint you. I am just here to pass time on the toilet
Arena Lacrosse League @ArenaLacrosse
3K Followers 208 Following Arena Lacrosse League #ALL is a Senior men’s box lacrosse development league. Affiliate of the @NLL 🥍 #BoxLacrosse #Boxla 🥍 @JrArenaLax #JrALL
Ali Zayn @zayntarot
1K Followers 4K Following Tarot card reader, here to give free readings🙂 Send me a request on my YouTube channel.
The Sweaty Gardener �.. @SweatyGardener
10K Followers 8K Following I'll say this one last time. CONTROL YOUR GARDENS. https://t.co/5gqCFeiIFq
Barry Connerty @BarryConnerty
448 Followers 2K Following Father, Friend, Realtor...oh and BBQ slayer.
Sam @mastrap84
7K Followers 2K Following Blocked by Home Depot. Brain full of bees. 1989 Harding Elementary Kindergarten Spelling Bee champ. Tripped had 4 kids. Whore for RTs. Husband of @rozannabanana
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Mike @lolMikePeterson
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mike larock ,I follow.. @mikelarock1
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Katie Smith @idontsitonkids
18 Followers 47 Following Professional child wrangler. Maker of tiny humans. Keeper of man-beast.
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212 Followers 333 Following Procrastinator of all things, drinker of most alcohol, day/swing trader.
A Man Called James✌ @James_TheMan
2K Followers 642 Following Legend(In My Own Mind)..Sports Lovin' Hedonist..Big Daddy Twisted Steel & Sex Appeal..Ruggedly Adorable..Cool Calm & Cocky..Bringing Sexy Back 2 Sarcasm ✌️
Princess Daddy 👑 @_octo_pie_
6K Followers 5K Following Happy, human-loving Feminist, doing anti-colonial/anti-capitalism/anti-racist work & queer/disabled advocacy through art, music, literature, & sexual liberation
john @smitjohn1234
192 Followers 709 Following thank you 🙏 lord for everything you have done for me, always do good all the time.Reba fans.
John Legend @johnlegend
13.3M Followers 2K Following Chrissy's husband. Father of Luna, Miles, Esti & Wren. LEGEND out now: https://t.co/iWzfovleNR. Drink like me: https://t.co/wWs6OZ11ck. Love your skin: https://t.co/1wSIPLNdut
❤️Hush Jared🤙 @HushJared
11K Followers 3K Following Conversational in sarcasm. Bill Nye, I’m coming for your ass! See the same tweets and a Great Value Tik Tok at https://t.co/qTJ7keqLhW He/Him BLM
ShANk @BigShankkz
6K Followers 3K Following Scorpio lives here.Big flirt. Not for everyone and I’m good with that 😏 #goleafsgo #supportmentalhealth #bpd
Tsunambee 🐝™ @Tsunambee
16K Followers 4K Following I love Animals 🐱♥️Fitness 🏋🏻♀️🎾 Health 🍏🦄 Beauty 💄Organic stuff 🌺 Travel ✈️ Music 🎶& Fashion 👗#Hashtag Winner. Social Media Critic 🤣 ⚠️May sting 🐝
Sittin here @DrinkinABeer
4K Followers 3K Following Old dude. VT and Steelers Football, UNC and Knicks Basketball, Pirates Baseball. Golfer. Not a RINO. Love removal machine.
Big Dave @Big_Dave_74
833 Followers 3K Following New account. Just looking to blow off steam and have some fun. Married. Don’t DM me dumb shit.
Jerri B. @jerrilue
108 Followers 507 Following I consider positive thinking to be my biggest accomplishment.👍🏼😃
Penney @wearethe_sound
2K Followers 1K Following It’s like I always say: when life gives you lemons, you sell your grandma’s jewellery and you go clubbing.
Above Cloud Level ☁.. @AboveCloudLevel
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eli @thisdayisyours
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Crispy @WhoTFisTina
726 Followers 666 Following Usually dirty. Brutally honest. Twisted in all the right ways. Entwined with @CaptnHook3.
Sonya Blade @cherry_redsky
789 Followers 1K Following I moved into the country so I could eat a lot of peaches and retweet you all in peace
Really cool Opotamus @BankOfSkol
858 Followers 2K Following Appearances on four game shows. Has held a baby hippo. Has never seen Dirty Dancing. DM to purchase my socks. Lover of Alfredo’s 🍕 Cafe.
🥃⚾️ Mudge ⚾�.. @TipsyTauntaun
3K Followers 3K Following Baseball fiend, home body, scotch & bourbon guy, movie collector, drive-in enthusiast, cynic & random babbler on topics of no significance or juxtapositioning.
T’s Cigar Lounge @tpuleo68
470 Followers 2K Following Better buckle up, I tend to take sharp turns. What do you mean this thing doesn't have seat belts?
Kyle #restorethevideo.. @JDesquireDr
1K Followers 2K Following Cat dad. Not a real doctor. Not just a piece of tweet meat #hugsnotthugs
Tina the Displaced Te.. @TinaLovesTexas
6K Followers 1K Following I said, “Heyyy, heyyy, hey! What’s goin on?!” . IG: @tinalovestexas https://t.co/fcYZbk71qB
fat titty empath @necktitties79
31K Followers 4K Following basic white girl into carbs and astrology rated 9.8/10 cameltoe 🏆https://t.co/LxOnHKIrQt
Daddy 💅🏽 @kissmyass79
16K Followers 6K Following fat. titty. empath. https://t.co/38A1ixEuee follow @necktitties79
Cyanide & Shamrocks @x_Graveheart_x
12K Followers 2K Following Gutterchef. Thunderdome. Report these tweets: https://t.co/NHFyeHWeDaNo no, that’s not a gap in my resume, those were my Inspirational Tweeter years.
I should be home naked in bed at this hr but instead
Sorry I'm late, but I was showing my husband the proper way to squeeze the toothpaste tube.
@amusedbyu That was my view last night. Tonight is a bit different. Little more professional
23 years, 8 months, and 6 days of marriage comes to an end, not with a bang… …but with a Zoom call
@amusedbyu Around here it’s called free agency
Happy 4th of July. My Christmas shopping is done and the tree goes up tomorrow.
Twitter, where you can flip the world off as a joke and some chick gets her panties in a knot. Love it
A year and a half ago I was in talks with a good friend to buy one of his bikes off him. Before completing the purchase or even coming to a decision, Devin took his own life. After some time had passed I reached out to his parents to ask them if I could still buy the bike
I would have watched the Oscars, but I was too busy pounding nails through my testicles.
I might be mentally unstable but at least I don't wear crocs.
Why I gotta write something else if the card already says “happy birthday”
I’m not good at math but I do know plus signs mean pregnancy
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