Ana Moss @anashedidnt

I drink your milkshake. Wait! It doesn't have any dairy in it....right? Shit. SHIT. I explosively expel your milkshake. Sorry. You have a lovely home. x.com/i/moments/1252… New York City Joined November 2019

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Ana Moss @anashedidnt

2 years ago

Shows like "Grey's Anatomy" and "House" are fantastical propaganda glossing over the reality of shitty, incompetent, careless, bureaucratic medical professionals

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Ana Moss @anashedidnt

3 years ago

I just made up a very silly joke: Why didn’t the dad believe the conspiracy theory? Because it couldn’t be father from the truth!

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Ana Moss @anashedidnt

3 years ago

We pencil in brows into prominence. Lips are puckered and colored. Eyes are lined and accentuated. But our poor noses are the only face appendage we have no use for and try desperately to contour out of existence. Nostrils and a visible bridge? Babe, so embarrassing.

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Ana Moss @anashedidnt

3 years ago

Step 1: mock “first world problem” Step 2: trash toxic positivity Step 3: laugh as you watch the world burn 😈

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Ana Moss @anashedidnt

3 years ago

I want a reality show that follows meteorologists around and mocks them when they get caught in the rain without an umbrella.

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Ana Moss @anashedidnt

3 years ago

Roof water tank or an alien landing? I mean…they’re everywhere. Pretty sus.

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Ana Moss @anashedidnt

3 years ago

Baseball games are a living history museum taking us back to a time when this was interesting.

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Ana Moss @anashedidnt

3 years ago

Eating a stadium burger so bad that the baseball game seems good by comparison.

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Ana Moss @anashedidnt

3 years ago

The cage

Jon Cooper 🇺🇸 @joncoopertweets

3 years ago

The cage

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Ana Moss @anashedidnt

3 years ago

My friend and her husband are spending the day apart and each is taking some “me time”: She’s buying groceries for the week, meal prepping, and buying his clothes for an upcoming trip. He’s at a magic tournament.

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Ana Moss @anashedidnt

3 years ago

Just received this text from a friend imagining a conversation with her younger self. perfect little encapsulation of dating as a heterosexual woman.

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Bryan Cannoy @notbryancannoy

3 years ago

little medical bracelets but they tell the nurse they’re not allowed to do a tiktok about you

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Ana Moss @anashedidnt

3 years ago

My puppy was completely nonplussed by fireworks right outside the building. Loud, successive explosions until 2 am was just business as usual. So proud until I realized it says less about my dog than the neighborhood to which I’ve conditioned him.

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Ana Moss @anashedidnt

3 years ago

‘Safe, Legal, and rare’ 😬 I didn’t know Planned Parenthood was making them to order...

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Ana Moss @anashedidnt

3 years ago

Why just Hawaiian shirts? Every state other than Alabama should have one! Texan would be made out of Kevlar, Minnesota’s shirt would be a sweater…

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Ana Moss @anashedidnt

3 years ago

And they try to say there’s no such thing as “cancel culture”

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Ana Moss @anashedidnt

3 years ago

It was on him when we met. And all through our courtship. Even on our wedding day. I begged, pleaded, but I never saw him without it. Only years later, on his death bed, did he finally agree to let me take off his ironic, jaunty little newsboy cap.