TinyTittays @tinytittays
I like to shout 'LUMOS!' when I turn on a light. Yeah, well you wouldn't get it, fuckin muggle.. favstar.fm/users/tinytitt… The fetal position Joined March 2011-
Tweets10K
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Followers6K
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Following2K
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Likes20K
That face you make when you sneeze while on your period.
Stirring risotto is like giving a hand job. I'm bored and my fucking arm hurts.
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Your chick has that "I've pushed a shit down the shower drain with my toe" kind of vibe. We all see it.
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Please play Space Jam at my funeral.
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If you see a dude wearing only an American flag speedo & doing karate on the side of the road, don't honk, I'm in the fucking zone.
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You haven't replied in 3 minutes. Why do you hate me? -Women
@ChiveFather hahaha this is my favourite response to a tweet ever.
TinyTittays retweeted
Nancy Grace gives birth to a healthy baby can of Axe Body Spray.
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please don't open up a new can of whoop ass when there is already an opened one in the refrigerator
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I just want to be in shape enough to hand a toddler a baseball bat and get the hell out of the way before I get hit with it.
My sexual boundaries are as absent as my father. ;)
I just watched a porn, and this old man, and i mean fucking OLD.. had a butterfly tramp stamp.. I was so distracted, I almost didn't cum.
My boyfriend's beard sometimes smells like deli meat?
@DirtyFokker thank you! Sorry I haven't been on here in some time. xoxo
Sext: I've wanted to call somebody 'daddy' my whole life. ;)
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