the pan-midwesterner @panmidwest
rev kev | just trying to get the approval of strangers | @ajokeexplainer | top tweets: https://t.co/Mz4BN2kP6g twitter.com/search?q=from:… bay area, ca Joined April 2016-
Tweets16K
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Followers13K
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Following495
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Likes65K
[about to get rejected when i ask a girl on a second date] “um actually i only listen to songs that are (scooter’s version)”
*guy inventing ipa* two hops this time
The whole internet loves the Pop-Tart Mascot, a lovely mascot toasted then eaten after a college football bowl game! *5 seconds later* We regret to inform you the Pop-Tart Mascot is racist
Disgusted by what’s happened at Harvard, Penn, and MIT. It’s getting to the point where I’m almost embarrassed to admit I graduated from all three of those schools.
if they really wanted us to remember the name of the team they would have called the show ‘afc richmond’ -my wife
I could never live off the grid. Crunchwrap Supremes are found exclusively on the grid.
If owned an Italian restaurant, in October I would change the menu to say "fettucine afraido" and "garlic dread" and "boocatini". I would go out of business, but it would be worth it.
Posting “wow super problematic” under everybody’s Halloween costume and then responding “I will not do the labor of educating you” when they ask for an explanation.
I cannot believe Bob Barker lived as close to 100 as possible without going over.
Imagine if when Sam and Frodo were almost at Mordor Frodo looked at Sam wearily and said “do you think we’re supposed to bring wine or anything?”
whoever is giving ethan hunt missions is severely overestimating their difficulty
Barbie and Oppenheimer. Well all I can say is the “Bar” better “bie” “Oppen” so I can say “hei” to a few “mer” ice cold beers!
*clears throat uncomfortably long* threads.net/@panmidwest
If you’d told me that between Barbie and Oppenheimer, one would start online discourse about on-screen age gaps and the other would lead to international controversy rooted in 1940s Asian geopolitics, never in a million years would have I guessed which one would yield which.
jon drake @DrakeGatsby
112K Followers 2K Following they must have amnesia, they forgot that im him. 1/2 of @blastzonepod. senior brand strategist for @trymetafy
FRO VO @fro_vo
42K Followers 1K Following 🦋 @frovo.bsky.social - - TOP TWEETS: https://t.co/NZPHrTUDjC -- Recent Tweets: https://t.co/4WK3dR41F1 -- STORE: https://t.co/YaxNssq5DC
Todd 'Papi' Carlos @TheToddWilliams
26K Followers 781 Following Engineer I'm also on BlueSky. Same name.
♥mark magark♥ @markedly
26K Followers 366 Following See the world through the eyes of an idiot. | he/him
octopus/caveman @octopuscaveman
32K Followers 3K Following cool ranch icarus, painter of LoveBots, king of diarrhea jokes
Andrew Nadeau @TheAndrewNadeau
89K Followers 1K Following Comedian, Writer, Founder of Persona Essential Social Media Management, writer of @GrimAndGraham
Adrenalin @adrenalindenver
26K Followers 818 Following Local pop punk band in Denver. DM for booking info! Guitar/vocals: @Woody_B_ Bass: @dave_cactus Drums: Ripcord Lead Guitar: Duncan
sweatpants cher🔸 @House_Feminist
32K Followers 633 Following • unverified account • orca sympathizer • she/her • 🔴 alt @thot_feminist
Viktor Winetrout @Cpin42
26K Followers 652 Following Creator of @Sorrowscopes & @WeirdCelebTwets https://t.co/fJ5BJjLtIb
jo @whatsJo
48K Followers 968 Following b-side. I eat popsicles for breakfast. Trial ft error. 🤖rights. crusha bit, lil bit✨
Caitlin @caithuls
17K Followers 2K Following Art, code, comedy. I live in South Carolina and in my head
Ꮍᴀᴇʟ @elle91
24K Followers 340 Following Writer, animal foster person, 69 inches tall. If you let me write for your thing, I'll kiss you right on the head. Venmo/yael91, IG/the.yael
dan mentos @DanMentos
88K Followers 652 Following
Roxi Horror 💀🌸 @roxiqt
65K Followers 1K Following Extremely online internet gremlin & comedy content creator 🥄💜 @roxiqt on Bluesky & TikTok 🦝 https://t.co/JbrOVGHJgp ✨
Pretty @Mabel8264846725
32 Followers 1K Following I am a lively and cheerful girl who would like to meet a good friend.
Horlamedey Olayiwola @HorlamedeyMe
257 Followers 702 Following
Mx. Stevie S. @Stevorrie
708 Followers 611 Following I'm jus some random fangurlboi. bi.🌈 #Egalitarian. #Scorpio. I🫶🏼CiCi&Larry❣️😺😸 Associate@HomeDepot. preferpronouns:they/them.🧑 in an open relationship.♥️
Deanne Brink @DeanneBrink
1K Followers 862 Following 24/7 Newsy, Former anchor now on the tech side, Horse and dog mom, Fitness enthusiast, Fashion addict! Ms. Earth 2022
your worst night mayo.. @FrescoKit
626 Followers 536 Following Proud to be named one of the "People to Look Out For" in my city, according to pedestrians.
silent_spook @silent_spook
27 Followers 211 Following
Nazar Ali @NazarAli1043986
47 Followers 310 Following
taurrhis @taurrhis
0 Followers 29 Following
Jean Grosjean @JeanGrosjean2
2 Followers 121 Following
Jeremy London 🐋 @SirJeremyLondon
19K Followers 6K Following Director of Best Comedy short at CANNES FILM FEST, TS QUINT in MALLRATS and GRIFFIN on PO5, Proud father and Papa to grandbaby Kingston ❤️ AVID DISC GOLFER!!!!!
Susan Sandals @susan_sandals
2K Followers 3K Following This is my alternate account for when I say the wrong thing on my main account. I mean no harm ever, but "These are the times that try men's souls" Thomas Paine
Jabberstroker @Better_red_
244 Followers 798 Following Retweets are simply context to the decline of an empire.
Jeremiah Benge @jeremiahbenge
125 Followers 317 Following
Sex Panther* @raincoatworms
5K Followers 5K Following Proficient in online darts. *not an actual sex panther
lujahs @mslujahs
708 Followers 219 Following 🔥 grand trine cunty hunty + Recovering SVU fan. Until EO gets the respect it deserves, Law & Order can suck my Dick Wolf. (Sorry for Berceuse.)
Chiarielloupholsterin.. @ChiarielloUPH
1K Followers 2K Following Owner of Chiariello Upholstering located in Livingston NJ. Specializing in all home furniture decor in essex/morris county and north NJ.
Martino Incognito �.. @StellarDadBod
4K Followers 179 Following Aspiring Entrepreneur & Web Developer // Tweeting like I'm somebody
Allegedly Sentient �.. @Sentient_maybe
100 Followers 185 Following I think I think, therefore I maybe am. overthinking things is my hobby
Luke Venechuk @lukevenechuk
98 Followers 110 Following I’m not here to post my THOUGHTS. I’m not here to share IDEAS. I’m here to post PICTURES OF MUSHROOMS and BE AN IDIOT
Al @gravy_seal_cmdr
50 Followers 52 Following
Katwilli @AmyWill62863570
878 Followers 2K Following
Spaceman Spliff @probe_uranus_
612 Followers 946 Following Carbon-based terrestrial consciousness. Corndog enthusiast. Intrepid explorer.
universalcomplaintfor.. @complaintville
86 Followers 412 Following
Yo_boy_tay @Domo45032493
211 Followers 2K Following
M @roligtkonto
91 Followers 140 Following
Ariel Ruiz @afrankruiz
0 Followers 89 Following
BufferFish 🗽🇺�.. @fishbuffer1
781 Followers 1K Following Blue dot, border south Texas #VoteBlueToSaveDemocracy #Green #AbortionIsHealthcare #BogusSCOTUS #BooksNotBans #ProudAlly🌈 MAGA=FASCISM no DMs 🌊💙
Crazy Hydraulic Crush.. @CrazyHydraulic
1K Followers 5K Following Crazy Hydraulic Crusher In this channel, everything is crushed by the hydraulic press. Enjoy watching the stuff get crushed.
Cap'n Ganjapenure @sebastian_parks
223 Followers 4K Following Cap' Jeremiah ~ 27 yr old constantly living life on the line of an obnoxious optimist and a hopeless pessimist. Follow me for a crazy ride.
inspector ratchet @_hood_mona_lisa
19K Followers 7K Following Public menace. Bog Witch. Level 58 Trainwreck. Costco Gold Star Member.
Kevin @coggy
3 Followers 60 Following
💙Lachesis🔞Girl .. @LachesisPsysucc
4K Followers 3K Following Psychic succubus fox girl who fucks girls. 🏳️⚧️ CDT wife: @INXLiNGs💙🧡 Character: @drfrogphd Avi:@pianta_ she/her 29 y/o 🎨 below pinned
Pessimus Prime respaw.. @_pessimusprime
770 Followers 381 Following They tried to cancel me. They failed. No one will stop me tweeting about Barry Chuckle. YOU HEAR ME ELON?
Josiah Williams @WosiahW07180374
182 Followers 171 Following
kenzi @kenzianidiot
62K Followers 4K Following follow me for my dads weekly agendas! im also medium funny and have a very cute dog. | marketing at @dropout | she/her
Eve🇩🇴 @evek29
505 Followers 258 Following
jon drake @DrakeGatsby
112K Followers 2K Following they must have amnesia, they forgot that im him. 1/2 of @blastzonepod. senior brand strategist for @trymetafy
FRO VO @fro_vo
42K Followers 1K Following 🦋 @frovo.bsky.social - - TOP TWEETS: https://t.co/NZPHrTUDjC -- Recent Tweets: https://t.co/4WK3dR41F1 -- STORE: https://t.co/YaxNssq5DC
Todd 'Papi' Carlos @TheToddWilliams
26K Followers 781 Following Engineer I'm also on BlueSky. Same name.
♥mark magark♥ @markedly
26K Followers 366 Following See the world through the eyes of an idiot. | he/him
octopus/caveman @octopuscaveman
32K Followers 3K Following cool ranch icarus, painter of LoveBots, king of diarrhea jokes
Andrew Nadeau @TheAndrewNadeau
89K Followers 1K Following Comedian, Writer, Founder of Persona Essential Social Media Management, writer of @GrimAndGraham
mike ginn @shutupmikeginn
209K Followers 1K Following
Adrenalin @adrenalindenver
26K Followers 818 Following Local pop punk band in Denver. DM for booking info! Guitar/vocals: @Woody_B_ Bass: @dave_cactus Drums: Ripcord Lead Guitar: Duncan
sweatpants cher🔸 @House_Feminist
32K Followers 633 Following • unverified account • orca sympathizer • she/her • 🔴 alt @thot_feminist
Viktor Winetrout @Cpin42
26K Followers 652 Following Creator of @Sorrowscopes & @WeirdCelebTwets https://t.co/fJ5BJjLtIb
jo @whatsJo
48K Followers 968 Following b-side. I eat popsicles for breakfast. Trial ft error. 🤖rights. crusha bit, lil bit✨
Caitlin @caithuls
17K Followers 2K Following Art, code, comedy. I live in South Carolina and in my head
Ꮍᴀᴇʟ @elle91
24K Followers 340 Following Writer, animal foster person, 69 inches tall. If you let me write for your thing, I'll kiss you right on the head. Venmo/yael91, IG/the.yael
peach 🍑🇵🇸 @peachontwitta
9K Followers 2K Following getting people drunk for a living since ‘08. please don’t fall in love with me.
John Cena @JohnCena
14.3M Followers 777K Following A forum of thoughts and perspectives designed to ignite conversations and actions leading to growth, and occasional self promotion. #NeverGiveUp #RiseAboveHate
Lucy Huber @clhubes
80K Followers 2K Following editor @mcsweeneys Mother of: 👦🏼👶🏼🐈⬛🐈🐠🐌 Writer? Hungry. Tired.
Brynnester @BrynneHirst_Art
467 Followers 204 Following Artist. Writer. Joke Maker. Football Fan. #LUFC Contributor to @sorrowscopes
Midwest vs. Everybody @midwestern_ope
466K Followers 0 Following Representing and defending THE #1 region || insta: midwestvseverybody
leah🌷 @LeahBSassy
37K Followers 2K Following teacher, musician, Bavinckian • thankful God made laughter • M.Div/M.M.
caleb hearon @calebsaysthings
257K Followers 1K Following beloved gay comedian with perfect opinions and a heart of gold. many, many accolades.
karanbir singh 🫶 @karanbirtinna
29K Followers 4K Following The next person to make a stereotype Indian joke is getting beaten to death by my snake charming flute!
blake Harrell @blakeharrell20
107 Followers 188 Following
Bone Chocolates @BoneChocolates
6K Followers 2K Following Making my little jokes to distract myself from the terror of the walls closing in.
yoyoha @yoyoha
67K Followers 1K Following i'm just a boy, standing in front of the internet, asking it to love him.
Leah Tiscione @LeahTiscione
8K Followers 307 Following illustrator | graphic artist | boy mom IG@SecretCrayon
Yola @iamyola
21K Followers 201 Following Musically Genre Fluid 🇬🇧 🇬🇭 🇧🇧 6 X GRAMMY NOMINATED Artist/Songwriter/Actor
Cameron Bradford @camerobradford
25K Followers 979 Following Take my hand, we'll weather this storm together.
Rob DenBleyker @RobDenBleyker
242K Followers 957 Following Co-creator of Cyanide & Happiness and @Explosm. I eat breakfast sometimes. All my opinions are wrong.
pat++ @patsatweetin
14K Followers 969 Following Bulbasaur is the best starter. Spoony bard. Enemy of the letter 'W'
linc @lincnotfound
17K Followers 399 Following just a dude with a photoshop subscription and adderall addiction
Lyddie loves puns @luvleelyd
3K Followers 2K Following Bad jokes, worse puns. Crone in training. Human Squishmallow avi by the incomparable @CovertAgentP
One of the Seven Dwar.. @1ofthe7dwarves
2K Followers 980 Following Was once on @BuzzFeed. Not one of my tweets, but I’ve been on their site browsing fun lists. Avi by @jodingerscat, header by @The_AlbinoShrek
kenny do it? no i can.. @kennyfckndavis
2K Followers 1K Following I lost the twitter instruction booklet so I hope I’m doing this right
🦋Lænį Røšę �.. @parilani
6K Followers 1K Following lowercase human. been referred to as "ethereal. a non sequitur, if you will." --will answer astro questions for tips--
That Pesky Willow @AubriePesky
29K Followers 761 Following Smart slut in a capitalist patriarchy ❤️ https://t.co/D5PHwsR8bx
C.H.U.D.ney Spears @chudneyspears
4K Followers 2K Following Championing the minor irritations in a time of major grievances. She/her
cat @WinningByARose
32K Followers 1K Following I am aries af. she/her. hot dice nerd. don’t ask me what I’m doing tonight it’s probably dnd 💖
nick 🦈 @bigsharkguy
4K Followers 559 Following this is an professional account. pls treat it as such
Adam @adamgreattweet
63K Followers 3K Following Resident physician as seen on Buzzfeed and TV, RTd by Barack Obama. He/Him
nash flynn @itsnashflynn
25K Followers 889 Following comedian, death historian, ceo of autism. i have questionable opinions and a book coming out next year
rudy betrayed @rudy_betrayed
38K Followers 1K Following if you follow me you agree with all of my opinions
Terrible Planet Comic.. @TerriblePlanet
4K Followers 326 Following Created by @VikingJonesy & @CrockettForReal
✨V✨ @coolauntV
13K Followers 1K Following writer, comedian, actress, astronaut • please laugh i have anxiety • original content
evianescence @callmeEvian
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Quilliam @nyquills
16K Followers 620 Following a hedgehog from Mars. jokes in link. @undrcoverninjax is the 143 to my 637
cor ❥ @okiecorri
14K Followers 938 Following (♡ μ_μ) • burden to the internet • mutuals @okiecutie • i should be writing
Abby D. Phillip @abbydphillip
671K Followers 4K Following Mom, rule breaker, anchor of CNN Newsnight with Abby Phillip. Speaking requests: UTA speakers
Neither confounding the Persons, nor dividing the Essence
Disgusted by what’s happened at Harvard, Penn, and MIT. It’s getting to the point where I’m almost embarrassed to admit I graduated from all three of those schools.
I could never live off the grid. Crunchwrap Supremes are found exclusively on the grid.
If owned an Italian restaurant, in October I would change the menu to say "fettucine afraido" and "garlic dread" and "boocatini". I would go out of business, but it would be worth it.
Posting “wow super problematic” under everybody’s Halloween costume and then responding “I will not do the labor of educating you” when they ask for an explanation.
I cannot believe Bob Barker lived as close to 100 as possible without going over.
Imagine if when Sam and Frodo were almost at Mordor Frodo looked at Sam wearily and said “do you think we’re supposed to bring wine or anything?”
very rare to see this level of tailoring nowadays, even on the wealthy
Did this dude just tell me that I look Jewish
Barbie and Oppenheimer. Well all I can say is the “Bar” better “bie” “Oppen” so I can say “hei” to a few “mer” ice cold beers!
If you’d told me that between Barbie and Oppenheimer, one would start online discourse about on-screen age gaps and the other would lead to international controversy rooted in 1940s Asian geopolitics, never in a million years would have I guessed which one would yield which.
Thank you for all the congratulations. Sometimes I forget how far I’ve come.
From homeless high school drop out to summa cum laude 💫
an olympic diver that can't swim and has a personal lifeguard to save him after every dive
@panmidwest on a very sincere level that all time classic tweet of yours was so helpful in this time ❤️❤️❤️
RIP to a legend. Sweet Big Dog Rocky Boi saved my life. he went out on his own terms. the GOAT.
[buying a dog] hi yes i want to be absolutely devastated in like 11 years or so
@panmidwest She's put in a really good shift, you'd have to say.
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