Uncle Drunky 🥃 @uncledrunky
I make jokes on the Internet. Neurodivergent. Chaotic good. I have broken multiple beds. Your mother will love me. I'll never subscribe to your OF. twitter.com/search?q=from:… Ohio and sometimes Texas Joined February 2009-
Tweets51K
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Followers7K
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Following6K
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Likes106K
Uncle Drunky 🥃 retweeted
despite having no evidence i am still convinced that everyone in my life secretly hates me
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I cannot WAIT to be done with April of 2024 but only if May is slightly better.
Uncle Drunky 🥃 retweeted
the best time to scroll twitter is on the highway going 85 mph
Uncle Drunky 🥃 retweeted
i am not responsible for the faces i make while eating greek yogurt
Its really weird that seeing the top, bottom, or side of a boob is okay but somehow the part thats pointy and a different color is off limits... but only for women.
I keep getting ads for erectile dysfunction, but the last thing I need is more boners
Uncle Drunky 🥃 retweeted
When I got married my friends asked if she was taking my name and I had to tell them it would be really stupid if we were both named Stephen
Going to invent a type of clothing where old people can't see me. I'll call it grammoflage
The brand of BBQ sauce you like tells me everything I need to know about you.
My wife wants to put together the grocery list but doesn't really cook anything so she just adds what she thinks I need. I guess I'll be going back to the grocery store later this week.
LOL Kristi Noem about to have her political career killed like the puppy she murdered. Good riddance.
Fuck nudes. I just want someone to text with when I'm pooping
Uncle Drunky 🥃 retweeted
meanwhile, vines:
meanwhile, vines: https://t.co/8PyUew47a5
Uncle Drunky 🥃 retweeted
I’m receiving threats of a good time
When you go into the chinese restaurant and the menu boards are faded, you KNOW it's about to be a delicious meal
Me: Can I touch your belly? Her: I'm not pregnant! Me: So? I like bellies
Not Today Eric @NotTodayEric
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Matty @bestestname
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Suugah Boogah @N_Doemostmuted
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Kylo Ken @starwarsstanboy
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cranky AF @secondhandpenis
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Danielle Langlois @DanielleLangWa
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Give hope charity org.. @oneorphanage2
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Network Sportsball An.. @fakesportsceleb
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Jaded Hearts 💋 @RouxJanis
2K Followers 3K Following ♐💋☮️ 🇿🇦Single mom. Believer in love & all its magic 💖 Coffee drinker. Life is hard. It's harder if you’re stupid! #letsgrowtogether 🚫NO PORN🚫
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Laura @lauraaaarrr
2K Followers 4K Following ❣️♥️♦️ It’s adventure time. Writer. Raging Bull ♉️ Views are my own. RT =/= endorsements. BLACK LIVES MATTER. F**K THE PATRIARCHY.
James S. Cullen @dibobfortal
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Chief Big Brown Cock @mipelas69
2K Followers 5K Following I walk around with my dick in my hand, a fat sweet in my mouth, a 24-ounce can.
Professional Hoodie T.. @OfficeNinj15532
63 Followers 178 Following No hoodie is safe Introverted wife and boy mom I just share memes and nonsense....oh! and i know things. ⚾🏈🎶🎵 and well written historical erotica 💕
Funny Snarky Humor @FUNNYsnarkyJOKE
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Laura ⋆｡˚ 🌬 @shes_magic_LL
3K Followers 319 Following Positive vibes, good energy & humour 🖤🤍🩷 Karate 🟨🥋 & BJJ beginner The music is in me 🎵
Crazy _Bitcha @CBitcha99835
50 Followers 106 Following
每日大比拼🆗�.. @herlabiu
362 Followers 3K Following 🅰️2500+真实客户消费评价截图丨好评第一嫩模经纪🅰️ 💜严选全国极品少女上新超1200人丨人气靠谱老字号💜 🎁会员免费送电报号丨专注回头客口碑推荐🎁 为防止盗版诈骗丨推特暂不安排丨请移步其他正版APP 🔍电报Discord下载使用攻略👉 @CoserhubTP
Sandra @SandraDml2003
106 Followers 399 Following Spicy_One , search and text on telegram ❤️ plus don’t bother texting if you are broke lol 😆 ,if you can’t do the right thing then do the wrong things right💕
🖤Melanie🖤 @Alaskan_jigsaw
345 Followers 872 Following Alaskan born and raised. horror books have my heart 📚 🔪 horror movies🔪books are my getaway 🩵camping ..photography 📸 80s music. old school wrestling
Lois Beans @LoisBeans
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us_Alex_ @usAlex243842
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Donner JR! @dfstoddardjr415
501 Followers 1K Following Heart bypass surviver. Five by passes is what I had. Didn't realize bypasses went that high. Also cordio vascular survivor.
Empress of the Awkwar.. @AwkwardEmpress
3K Followers 2K Following Following my passion and living my dream. I probably won’t answer a DM. 🇨🇦 https://t.co/hT23jeR7DH
4u8j0wrs2ali @4vv9k4vo7b
2 Followers 128 Following 32歳シングル女性、ゴルフ、旅行が好き、共通の趣味の友人を知りたいhttps://t.co/TR3ETv8afY
Mc Kenzie @McKenzie1444137
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Stacey Teresa @STeresa50996
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Not Today Eric @NotTodayEric
27K Followers 9K Following Gen X Superhero. Old people jokes for my old people followers. 90’s Kid Alumni. #cheeseburgers
PieGuy @ilovepie84
30K Followers 6K Following My wife works two jobs so that I can chase my dream of being in a boy band. https://t.co/JhWCxIXYbK
Lava Dog @Riverrunsred44
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Matty @bestestname
13K Followers 6K Following Twitter is easy. You just have to be funny all the time or no one will love you.
Suugah Boogah @N_Doemostmuted
8K Followers 4K Following Laugh, joke and talk my shit...You can argue with yourself......#RaiderNation #Lakeshow #Dodgers
Benny Boy @Camel_Crushin
10K Followers 6K Following
🇨🇦꧁🆂🅰�.. @SassyCanadian0
22K Followers 5K Following Sarcastic Ray of Sunshine. Will steal your hoodie. Music is life.🎶 Healthcare/frontline worker. #Dallascowboys #Mapleleafsforever #smile 🔥bacon
The Ciscokidder @TheCiscoKidder
36K Followers 12K Following 99% jokes, 100% Stay home dad, atheist, BLM, feminist, pro LGBTQ+ and left af. https://t.co/HpCbHaktUa
Kylo Ken @starwarsstanboy
7K Followers 7K Following Lightsaber smith.Nerd. Gamer. Dobie dad. Cosplay. Artist.Stage 4 cancer/BMT survivor. Allergic to your cat. Kings/Yankees/Broncos #starwars
Forward March @RunOldMan
35K Followers 16K Following Disabled Army Veteran, Bills Mafia, Mental Health Matters, Laughter is the best medicine 🇺🇸🇵🇷 Boricua https://t.co/LpPIFl6lcu…
cranky AF @secondhandpenis
4K Followers 2K Following he/him/ho slayer 🚩 feminist 🚩 CEO: make-a-wish bitch foundation
jenna talia @jennafrmthebloq
12 Followers 135 Following
MY KIND OF WEIRD @mykindofweird_
22K Followers 6K Following Host/writer at ‘My Kind Of Weird’ | Comics/Music Blogger, Vlogger and Shit Podcaster | Over 1K Youtube subs (if that means anything to you) | Watch here 👇 👇
🦋★·.·´Ana`·... @fairy20209
444 Followers 630 Following ✿𝐼 𝓁𝑒𝒶𝓇𝓃𝑒𝒹 𝒻𝓇𝑜𝓂 𝓂𝓎 𝓅𝒶𝓈𝓉 𝓉𝑜 𝒷𝑒 𝓅𝓇𝑒𝓈𝑒𝓃𝓉 𝓌𝒽𝒾𝓁𝑒 𝓅𝓁𝒶𝓃𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓂𝓎 𝒻𝓊𝓉𝓊𝓇𝑒.✿ A+A=💙 $lopez121213
Jaded Hearts 💋 @RouxJanis
2K Followers 3K Following ♐💋☮️ 🇿🇦Single mom. Believer in love & all its magic 💖 Coffee drinker. Life is hard. It's harder if you’re stupid! #letsgrowtogether 🚫NO PORN🚫
Aaron Scott @Aaronscott2273
6K Followers 6K Following Co-Host of Football Neighborhood | Saged Up Network | #Spaces Host | Cooking | Music | Enjoying sunsets | Cubs fan forever| Just be kind
Funny Snarky Humor @FUNNYsnarkyJOKE
9K Followers 2K Following I like 2 make light of things 2 brighten up a dark world. #funny #humor #satire #snarky #memes #humour #hilarious
Professional Hoodie T.. @OfficeNinj15532
63 Followers 178 Following No hoodie is safe Introverted wife and boy mom I just share memes and nonsense....oh! and i know things. ⚾🏈🎶🎵 and well written historical erotica 💕
Laura ⋆｡˚ 🌬 @shes_magic_LL
3K Followers 319 Following Positive vibes, good energy & humour 🖤🤍🩷 Karate 🟨🥋 & BJJ beginner The music is in me 🎵
Empress of the Awkwar.. @AwkwardEmpress
3K Followers 2K Following Following my passion and living my dream. I probably won’t answer a DM. 🇨🇦 https://t.co/hT23jeR7DH
Sandra @SandraZuniga100
24 Followers 148 Following
Fae @Red_Handfish
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Just Mom @MumOf2Beasties
1K Followers 516 Following Muddling through motherhood one day at a time. https://t.co/wQqj7UReAq #Parenting
A Venezuelan Chick @AVenezuelan19
81K Followers 17K Following Living the American life the Venezuelan way / Gym 🐭/ I can swear in 2 languages /Podcast junkie/ True crime fan 🔪/ 💍✨/ NO DMs
Collateral Damaged @Cr0okidHal0ws
3K Followers 2K Following Green eyes, red hair & attitude. Freedom isn't free, respect those who afford you the luxury 🇺🇸
simplicity🥀 @gentlewords1202
15K Followers 679 Following a quiet place to write her heart 🖤 dreams that stay
MY CAT's A HO @Saltygirl64
401 Followers 912 Following My cat's yowling & reality trash tv helps my depression, I fear Hurricanes, #BrainAneurysmSurvivor, #KentuckyStrong
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OneToothTe𝕏an @OneToothTeXan
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Jace @jace_lesko
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blondie 🖤🪶 @BlondeG86658
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slutty chell @rockwithchell
1K Followers 1K Following I am learning submission through @BuccaneerGhost. I love 80’s music and embracing my wild side. Come along for the ride. No DM’s.
Scarlet Jae @scarlet_jae22
225 Followers 664 Following I am sunshine mixed with a little hurricane 🤗 Cashapp -$Tink1323. Snapchat- scarletjae22
VITO @VitoComedy
28K Followers 2K Following Writer. Comedian. Half of @TheBPITU. Check out my new comic book at https://t.co/tUejqdsj5I
that nerdy girl @leeleedutchaski
3K Followers 2K Following Dream as if you'll live forever, live as if you'll die today. There's no substitute for experience. Definitely sapiosexual Happy, horny progressive sinner
Jennifer Wright @Lexley816
477 Followers 4K Following One of the most cowardly things ordinary people do is shut their eyes to the facts. -C.S. Lewis
making it @Allmyexvies
66 Followers 127 Following
✨❤️🔥 @ChucksStayOn69
639 Followers 916 Following
Melissa 🐝 @bucsnbrews
1K Followers 2K Following Baseball feeds my soul. Brewers & Pirates have my ❤ My first love was Crash Davis. ⚾️ MKE PIT ⚾️🐝 🌊 Road Trip Taker Rowdy Tellez fan #GirlsWhoScore
✨Nσ Oɳҽ Hҽɾҽ .. @Mrs_L_Olivier
3K Followers 4K Following Full-time Feminist…Part-time Comedy Habitué…Podcast Junkie…Gen X…Wokey Lefty Liberal…Atheist…Pro-Choice +…Specialist RN…Fan of ellipses…TORIES OUT 🤡➡️ #NHS
Infield Fly Girl @infieldflygrl
7K Followers 3K Following |• probably photographed your back •| 3rd Party MLB Commissioner Candidate |• 🎙️@SonRantoShow •| throws right; votes left |•there is no offseason•| Cubs
𝚖͜𝚘͜𝚘͜�.. @ikigai_kel
642 Followers 517 Following ☘#bostonceltics ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 🖤the paranormal. poker. music. stand-up comedy.
Micheal Maybe @MichealElliott
1K Followers 1K Following Ordained Beach Bum with stage 4 pancreatic cancer, living the dream with my wife, our revolutionary 7 yr old daughter + a clingy Dalmatian.
Madame Robinska has t.. @Madame_Robinska
2K Followers 2K Following A writer, a baker, a PC gamer. INFP with an edge.
Lisa (she/her/y’all.. @Lisa_Frame
4K Followers 4K Following #GenX - Southern Stories. Essayist. NC Native. Appalachia born/bred. Love grits, sweet tea, & the Oxford Comma. #BlackLivesMatter #StopAAPIHate Ally🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️
Heartland Moxie ™ @HeartlandMoxie
2K Followers 4K Following Hopeful skeptic & utterly hopeless romantic. Sarcasm is my religion. Also cheese. Strong Democrat. Introvert. She/Her. My brain is probably in the gutter 😉
Kathleen @topknotsnsweats
1K Followers 794 Following Still the girl trying to put smiles on faces one person at a time. 💜💙
⚔️ Atomic Bombshe.. @atomcbombshell
33K Followers 16K Following Lip Bites & Bong Hits. Cult Enthusiast. Sarcastic. Book Nerd 📚 neurodivergent 💘. #booktwt
Chiara 🌞 @NotyNurseChiara
241 Followers 645 Following 🌻 #UTA Nursing Student | Lover of Music, Coffee and Puppies… #Swiftiedespite having no evidence i am still convinced that everyone in my life secretly hates me
In our defense, those babies were attacking and killing livestock.
April, with the teeth.
regular me: fuck this shit fancy me: fucketh this shiteth
the best time to scroll twitter is on the highway going 85 mph
i keep a bottle of ketchup in my ass for emergencies
i am not responsible for the faces i make while eating greek yogurt
Apparently “what’s up bitchachos” is not an acceptable way to enter a work teams meeting
Y’all the trailer that dropped last week has me pumped for the new Deadpool & Wolverine movie. So pumped, in fact, that I decided I wanted to look like Wolverine. And what better way to do that than to make a Wolverine dress. So that’s exactly what I did. Gaze upon me
"Do have all the passwords to the accounts" 👍 youtube.com/shorts/buUXD5-…
Once you are lonely movies and books become your best friends
OHHHH MY GOD WHAT AN UNBELIEVABLE CATCH AND DOUBLE PLAY FROM TAIJUAN WALKER!!! ABSOLUTE WIZARDRY!!!!
@uncledrunky @HaliPhacks Almost any as long as it’s not full of artificial smoke flavor. Preferably tangier rather than sweeter but I’m really not too picky about it.
what if we kissed on the cloud couch
Yes I know that I go from gardening to boobs to food to funny. I’m all over the place.
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