Mediocre Moms Club @ClubMediocreMom
Joined December 2021-
Tweets255
-
Followers472
-
Following848
-
Likes3K
Mediocre Moms Club retweeted
(5:47 AM) My 4 y/o: Where do bugs go when they die? Me: Where do you think they go? My 2 y/o: Sleepy poopy land Me: Sure, let’s go with that.
1
13
35
857
1
Mediocre Moms Club retweeted
Apparently kids not listening to their parents is universal
Mediocre Moms Club retweeted
I’m a bitch, I’m a boss. I’m a bitch, I’m a boss, give me applesauce. -Toddlers
Mediocre Moms Club retweeted
My toddler doesn’t want to be my friend. Will you be my friend?
Mediocre Moms Club retweeted
My toddler is a courteous puker, there’s usually a shriek of terror before the projection which I appreciate because it gives me time to become a human shield before ruining All of his bedding.
Mediocre Moms Club retweeted
Quick question about toddlers, what the fuck?
Mediocre Moms Club retweeted
You think you have parenting figured out and then your 4 y/o asks if babies come from your butt cheeks.
Mediocre Moms Club retweeted
I don’t like the sun -My toddler
Mediocre Moms Club retweeted
I see people going out after 5PM and I'm already 18 yawns in.
Mediocre Moms Club retweeted
“THIS COULD HAVE BEEN A FUCKING EMAIL, TRENT.”
Mediocre Moms Club retweeted
What if babies were born with a full set of teeth?
Mediocre Moms Club retweeted
Antibiotics should come in a vending machine for parents of small children.
Mediocre Moms Club retweeted
Settle down, it’s just hot sauce. Maybe teach your baby how to take an April Fool’s joke.
Mediocre Moms Club retweeted
If you hide 48 eggs and tell your kids there are 50 you can get a little nap in.
Mediocre Moms Club retweeted
You wouldn't believe all of the Easter eggs I just found lying in the grass outside of this preschool.
Mediocre Moms Club retweeted
My mother asked if you guys could watch the language please.
Mediocre Moms Club retweeted
“Uh oh, we lost daddy. He’s gone.” -my 2 year old after my husband went back into our house to grab his hat
Mediocre Moms Club retweeted
Rival dad next door on the other side already mowed his lawn. What a bitch
Mediocre Moms Club retweeted
Must boop kitty 🥹
Mumnipotent Ruler @MumOfTw0
4K Followers 1K Following Mum of 2 under 2 in 2022. Here for the laughs on all things parenting and marriage!
Jessie @mommajessiec
77K Followers 6K Following *awkward silence* Mom to four, wife to one. Like I am to most things, I came here late too.
Twinstant Family | Li.. @twinstantfamily
4K Followers 1K Following Twitter is just like real life. I talk about my kids and our life only to find out I’m just talking to myself. 100% mom, wife, mess. #IVF #ASD
NicholasG @Dad_At_Law
23K Followers 4K Following Father of girls, Husband of wife, Coach of kids. Protagonist for the People in court, yet to win an argument at home. *ᵗʷᵉᵉᵗˢ ᵃʳᵉ ⁿᵒᵗ ˡᵉᵍᵃˡ ᵒᵖⁱⁿⁱᵒⁿˢ*
I Hide From My Kids @IHideFromMyKids
20K Followers 1K Following freelance writer | content creator | someone once told me I was funny, for a mom | featured on BuzzFeed, Today Parents, HuffPost & more | Read my tweets👇
Kevin The Dad @kevinthedad
15K Followers 974 Following Husband. Dad. Co-creator of 2 cool kids. I write fun stories about the shenanigans I experience as a parent!
The Mom, M.Ed. 💃 @TheMomMEd
1K Followers 1K Following Mom. Writer. Chronic Pain Warrior. Animal lover. Baker, at times. I have extremely dry wit, and I’m not sorry about it. ***I do not DM.***
LaughCryCoffee @laughcrycoffee
1K Followers 479 Following Here to commiserate about life with toddlers. Featured on HuffPost and Today. Now on insta!
My Life As Dad @milifeasdad
6K Followers 896 Following Dad. Real silly. Davidoff Cool Water activist. Posts seen on @Buzzfeed, @HuffPost, @TODAY_Parents & more. I.G. 👉 https://t.co/f1BzpG3AnQ . My tweets in 🔗 below.
Be Kind Of Witty @bekindofwitty
4K Followers 1K Following Mom life - Humor | Tweets: https://t.co/bBqGN7N1hI
Dad@Home @Dad_at_Home_
4K Followers 5K Following #GirlDad at home since COVID began. I know more about frozen than anyone else on this cursed earth. Grilled cheese enthusiast and PBJ aficionado.
Stories for my Future.. @StoriesformyFu1
480 Followers 622 Following A collection of things I'll, eventually, tell my future children.
themomessence @themomessence
3K Followers 2K Following Welcome to this moms brain 🧠Occasionally I’m funny. Doing my best to normalize the struggles ❤️
Mammagoose84🇺🇲�.. @mammagoose84
663 Followers 693 Following A Wife, Mamma, Meowther, Daughter, Sister and Friend. Christian but real. Loves discussing tv and movies. No DMs please. Sorry about all the gifs.
Daddy Go Fish @daddygofish
8K Followers 3K Following Warning: alcohol leads to kids leads to lots more alcohol.
Dad Set Against @DadSetAgainst
5K Followers 984 Following Outnumbered, dad tired, dead set on seeing the comedy in it all. Featured on @TheDad @Buzzfeed @BoredPanda @TODAYshow @huffpostparents @theFunnyTweeter
nice things I say to .. @meantomyself
28K Followers 8K Following Hopeful idiot | your big suburban | Log Lady | X's hottest mom™️ | tired founder. Not funny or young enough to write tweets for Clorox. avi @popartcartoonz
🌜🤷♂️ �.. @raoulvilla
5K Followers 3K Following Husband father of 4. Wu Tang name is Tha Nappa. Parody, not a real moon. As seen on https://t.co/9fhkEMkr1v https://t.co/1vrml28KE3 the weekly church bulletin
Unexpected SAHM @UnexpectedSAHM
8K Followers 2K Following overeducated punk rock princess turned volvo-driving soccer mom // now on mastodon: @[email protected]
Katie D @KatieDeal99
16K Followers 2K Following Bios are hard. On Instagram as katiedeal99 https://t.co/iMruSPyTav
Shera Zarrillo @ShZarrill
75 Followers 5K Following
Cuddables.in @cuddablesin
38 Followers 132 Following Join us in embracing a nurturing journey where every cuddables is an expression of care and purity .#Cuddables #BabyCare #Vegan #ToxinFree #NaturalIngredients
Anitra Stapelman @AnitraStap32027
68 Followers 5K Following
Karen @joynerkaren13
178 Followers 3K Following
Stephany Higgenbottom @StephanyHi65654
42 Followers 5K Following
Peggy Baratta @PeggBarat
70 Followers 5K Following
Kerrie Maier @KerrieM59071
36 Followers 5K Following
Sasha Chadek @sas_chad
48 Followers 5K Following
Annika Donlin @DonlinAnn
62 Followers 5K Following
Xanthe Rohowetz @rohowet_xant
27 Followers 3K Following
Kailah Wallenbrock @wallenbroc3123
87 Followers 5K Following
Marcie 🖤 @masunnydaze
1K Followers 883 Following Love my children, the beach, sneakers, and music. I love to joke around and laugh. Don’t take me too seriously, I never do. Taken 🩵💛👟🏝️☀️🌊 ♉️💙❤️
Tattletale Times @TattletaleTimes
390 Followers 981 Following Your go-to source for hilarious satire news on the chaotic world of parenting. https://t.co/pFbpZ6Lfd1
Oliva Honkanen @HonkanenOl56006
95 Followers 5K Following
Gabriella Flagstad @GFlagst
28 Followers 5K Following
Fearne Modert @mode_fea
61 Followers 5K Following
Tonie Amott @amot_toni
10 Followers 3K Following
Anne-marie Greenspan @AnneGreensp
41 Followers 5K Following
Lucia Cluster @LuciaClust8169
48 Followers 5K Following
Lovetta Dornbos @lovet_dorn
77 Followers 5K Following
Melynda Alpizar @AlpiMelynd
88 Followers 5K Following
Edith Houseman @EdithHouse13871
11 Followers 3K Following
Lisette Ohmit @OhLisett
34 Followers 5K Following
Fredda Bandin @BandFredd
36 Followers 5K Following
M.K @mom_m_k
43 Followers 203 Following A mom and a teacher that’s trying to keep it all together 😅🇸🇪🇧🇦
Heather Adams @HeatherAda34924
84 Followers 3K Following
Nichol Hirschman @HirschmanN82394
44 Followers 5K Following
Thoughts On Mom @ThoughtsOnMom1
557 Followers 1K Following Real life mom doing a parody of a mom who knows what she is doing.
Cary Swatsworth @CaSwatswort
55 Followers 5K Following
Valencia @valencia84king
219 Followers 3K Following
Alethia Schlepp @SchleAlet
38 Followers 4K Following
Shanel Reyner @reyner_sha
39 Followers 5K Following
Mary @reeves_mary8
131 Followers 3K Following
Particia Getschman @ParticGetsch
32 Followers 4K Following
Emilie-rose Ealand @eal_ro
35 Followers 5K Following
Na Wimber @wimb_n
57 Followers 5K Following
Nubia Bardo @bard_nub
48 Followers 5K Following
Jennifer @jennifer40urrut
242 Followers 3K Following
SUNPENNY @SUNPENNYSAFE
227 Followers 5K Following Concerned about safety issues for kids in & around the home. Lookin for tips & tricks to help parents keep their kids safe & healthy! #clearthelist #childsafety
DanaDaisy @t4G921cb115Uj4
9 Followers 433 Following I recommend the latest RPG mobile game based on the theme of Eastern martial arts and immortality. 🎮customer service🎮 whatsApp: +86 15268152379 👇👇play👇
JC**11 @JCIN_11
677 Followers 5K Following
Kelly Link @SeamonLink
71 Followers 729 Following
Jessi Desparrois @desparrois76267
53 Followers 5K Following
Mumnipotent Ruler @MumOfTw0
4K Followers 1K Following Mum of 2 under 2 in 2022. Here for the laughs on all things parenting and marriage!
Jessie @mommajessiec
77K Followers 6K Following *awkward silence* Mom to four, wife to one. Like I am to most things, I came here late too.
Real Life Mommy @reallifemommy3
33K Followers 3K Following Twitter is cheaper than therapy. Tweets are mine 👀@huffpost @TODAY_Parents @buzzfeed @babycenter @chicagotribune @boredpanda @thepoke @thechive ...
Twinstant Family | Li.. @twinstantfamily
4K Followers 1K Following Twitter is just like real life. I talk about my kids and our life only to find out I’m just talking to myself. 100% mom, wife, mess. #IVF #ASD
Dadman Walking @dadmann_walking
56K Followers 1K Following introvert. Husband. Dad of 3. bourbon fund: Venmo- Shane83 My links! https://t.co/X1R5q5AVST seen in @Buzzfeed @Menshumor @HuffPostParents @cheezbur
NicholasG @Dad_At_Law
23K Followers 4K Following Father of girls, Husband of wife, Coach of kids. Protagonist for the People in court, yet to win an argument at home. *ᵗʷᵉᵉᵗˢ ᵃʳᵉ ⁿᵒᵗ ˡᵉᵍᵃˡ ᵒᵖⁱⁿⁱᵒⁿˢ*
I Hide From My Kids @IHideFromMyKids
20K Followers 1K Following freelance writer | content creator | someone once told me I was funny, for a mom | featured on BuzzFeed, Today Parents, HuffPost & more | Read my tweets👇
Kevin The Dad @kevinthedad
15K Followers 974 Following Husband. Dad. Co-creator of 2 cool kids. I write fun stories about the shenanigans I experience as a parent!
One Awkward Mom @oneawkwardmom
14K Followers 941 Following wife || mom of three || perpetually late || relatively unsociable || my tweets ➡️ https://t.co/zTOnobXohj
Rodney Lacroix @RodLacroix
43K Followers 6K Following Disappointing people since 1968. | EVERYTHING: https://t.co/JN2RmmKWfK | Latest Tweets: https://t.co/BuhDfbbFkq | Top Tweets: https://t.co/3B9KMSYvlv
meghan @deloisivete
20K Followers 3K Following mother of boys | surrounded by a chaos of my own making | tweets in link below
Mommeh Dearest @mommeh_dearest
9K Followers 1K Following There is no Mommy, only Zuul.✨Be excellent to each other✨Folllow me everywhere https://t.co/ItaeRTMeC2 Peep my tweets in the link below 👇🏻
@itssherifield @itssherifield
13K Followers 1K Following Musician mama of 3 treading water and taking names Formerly @Lmemeit IG and TikTok: @itssherifield https://t.co/PEkz5e5DfK
The Dad @thedad
142K Followers 589 Following Welcome to the club. 🔥 https://t.co/E3irT7D7mM 🏆 https://t.co/EFPhC0SEeE 🎮 @thedadgaming
The Mom, M.Ed. 💃 @TheMomMEd
1K Followers 1K Following Mom. Writer. Chronic Pain Warrior. Animal lover. Baker, at times. I have extremely dry wit, and I’m not sorry about it. ***I do not DM.***
LaughCryCoffee @laughcrycoffee
1K Followers 479 Following Here to commiserate about life with toddlers. Featured on HuffPost and Today. Now on insta!
My Life As Dad @milifeasdad
6K Followers 896 Following Dad. Real silly. Davidoff Cool Water activist. Posts seen on @Buzzfeed, @HuffPost, @TODAY_Parents & more. I.G. 👉 https://t.co/f1BzpG3AnQ . My tweets in 🔗 below.
Be Kind Of Witty @bekindofwitty
4K Followers 1K Following Mom life - Humor | Tweets: https://t.co/bBqGN7N1hI
mom mom mom mom mom @notmythirdrodeo
27K Followers 3K Following https://t.co/lKTwNPcAGY @momsoverhere on IG. Mommin’ the best I can with low standards. Featured in @HuffPost, @Buzzfeed, @Today_Parents and more.
Dad@Home @Dad_at_Home_
4K Followers 5K Following #GirlDad at home since COVID began. I know more about frozen than anyone else on this cursed earth. Grilled cheese enthusiast and PBJ aficionado.
☠️Daddy Bones☠�.. @UpBeatSkeletor
23K Followers 18K Following Got a couple kids, couple ex-wives. In recovery. Sober since 7/18/22. Believe in second chances. #LGBTQ ally #BLM 😈MUFC😈 #sober 🇬🇧 in 🇺🇸 Single AF
Tattletale Times @TattletaleTimes
390 Followers 981 Following Your go-to source for hilarious satire news on the chaotic world of parenting. https://t.co/pFbpZ6Lfd1
Phylicia Kara @phyliciakara
170 Followers 562 Following Mom of✌️surviving parenting 👶👧, an autoimmune disorder 🤕, and cancer🎗️with my bible 📖, peloton 🚴♀️, coffee ☕️, TS 🎶, and a sprinkle of humor 😋
Karly Kingsley @karlykingsley
49K Followers 38K Following Not your Mama’s #MarthaStewart Politics l Writing l Legal Studies l Art | Food l Love
Marcie 🖤 @masunnydaze
1K Followers 883 Following Love my children, the beach, sneakers, and music. I love to joke around and laugh. Don’t take me too seriously, I never do. Taken 🩵💛👟🏝️☀️🌊 ♉️💙❤️
GinaLynn @GSand410
450 Followers 2K Following Wife 💍 Mom 👨👦 Therapist 👩🏻🏫 co-host Pass The Potatoes Podcast 🕵🏻. I like funny stuff. I hate unfunny stuff.
Mom Off Duty @MomOffDuty_CDN
2K Followers 1K Following Just your average mom looking for a daily boost of serotonin. #Autism #StarbucksAddict #Stepmom #TwitterStepmom #Mom #Ally #Canadian
ThoughtfulParents @TheStills
257 Followers 424 Following All the things we want to say to our kids. But can't
PLAY YEARS @play_years
534 Followers 2K Following A Parenting-Space-Science-Life-Play-Memory-Time-History-Imagination-Meaning poetic journey by Kevin K. Shah | Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Samsung | Audible
Elproteinpapi 🧬 �.. @elproteinpapi
99 Followers 38 Following Millennial parent doing nothing/rising kids like the 90s. parenting fueled by caffeine 99.9% of the time
Darla @ddsmidt
38K Followers 13K Following I don't take any of this nonsense too seriously. Here's some links to my tweets: https://t.co/GSnadPOMAS
Amy C @ACCOZZ12
209 Followers 213 Following
Rubenesque D1ck 🏳�.. @_Jizzabelle
24K Followers 2K Following The original Jizzabelle. She/her. DM only if you want to be my baby daddy. RT my pics. Raging liberal. Cheese hater. See my wiener at https://t.co/0nhVOjfXvg
Fillmore Wilbury 🎶 @RussRoth4
2K Followers 2K Following power pop treasure hunter, dot connector, mustachioed dad of 3, favorite misheard lyric: "we're all such silly people" (Marvin Gaye, Let's Get It On)
Eden, aka Mrs. Self-D.. @eden4peace
4K Followers 5K Following Wife, nerd, boy mom, cat whisperer. Atomic batteries to power, turbines to speed. Avi is really me. She/Her #BLM
the Lisa @lalise222
4K Followers 2K Following Sweet badass and warm soul. Conquering the world one awkward step at a time. she/her. ♡ retweeting dog & cat pics like it's my job
Areola Grande @uhhhhhoksure
59K Followers 1K Following Everything I say is a joke except the stuff I mean. Is this where I say I love coffee and I’m sassy?
Mary 🌻Dysart 📚�.. @mary_dysart
3K Followers 5K Following Happily married Grandma. Retired school librarian. Democrat. "Imagination and information collide @ the library."
Liatris Trueshadow �.. @mums_hugs
684 Followers 1K Following Geek. Cat lover. Stuck in a perpetual existential crisis. Chronic retweeter - my opinions are my own but you probably said it better. @[email protected]
Katie Babbles @K8TeeG
906 Followers 1K Following Lover of all things art & design. Weird, well read, and full of opinions. Here for the giggles. Begrudgingly made one of these- https://t.co/7O6y0X0yNe
Mr.Carter @dexteristwisted
3K Followers 1K Following Stand up for what you believe in. Trump Troller ... Always positive.... Huge everthing L.A. sports nerd... extremely dirty minded, but always respectful
Ichabod Train @DanTrain12
2K Followers 5K Following
Emily @emilyandawesome
837 Followers 498 Following old school rap is my fave. i cannot stand left lane lovers. dogs are better than most people. cancer survivor. what ever you do, do not trust the government.
Joanne Budzien @JBudzien
1K Followers 4K Following Science Education Enthusiast and Engineer Enjoying the Journey
DPommi🗽✈️ @littledog122
2K Followers 3K Following Disgruntled Oakland A's fan. Bird watcher and coffee drinker. Dog person. MAGA dolts get blocked pronto. She/her. NO DM’s #WarrenDemocrat
Turgid Verse @gullyvuhr
3K Followers 1K Following I drink scotch, read poetry, and know things | ENTP | Prior military | Virgo in love | Expert in Data | Outlaw in Peru
Christina, mother of .. @Aikiwomannc
6K Followers 2K Following BLM. Inked nerd w/ADHD 🤘 Tool Slipknot Sleep Token Architects - Somehow had tweets in @Newsweek @ThePoke @Cheezburger Avi by @RiotGrlErin 🎃 Always Halloween
boob-oo-ɾɑҍҍíԵ @StrangerTings5
5K Followers 4K Following Frequently frolicking frantically. Just a small town rabbit, livin' in a sarcastic world.
April @moonskye3
1K Followers 451 Following Moved back to Michigan from Minnesota instead of somewhere warm. The family better appreciate this.
Abolish Everything @TinCan_iPhone
111 Followers 296 Following optics robot, art trash, craft hag, horror & scifi lover. she/her. forever mourning the blue to my orange.
Katy Lukehurst RVN �.. @BearoftheWorld
328 Followers 1K Following Vet Nurse, Exotics cert, Clinical Coach, mum, wife, comedy fan, gardener, parent of many creatures 🐕🐈🐇🐇🐢🐢 🐟 🐠 🕷 🦎💜🌈💜 she/her IG: katy.lukehurst
Name can not be left .. @flanneled_dad
2K Followers 536 Following Flanneled Geriatric Millennial. DMB, Buckeyes, & traveling. 🍕devouror. Devout dork, flirt & weirdo.
🐝 Bumble bee 🐝 @TheBumblingBee_
17K Followers 2K Following 🐝 I might be funny on the timeline but I’m boring in DMs. And more often than not, I ignore them. 🤷♀️ Married af
cap’n watsisname @capnwatsisname
11K Followers 2K Following slowly backing away. TOP TWEETS: https://t.co/K8oKqyuL84 click below for recent. I’m the same guy at the other places.
“Nice Guy” Eddie @BedlamAndBones
253 Followers 117 Following Vague self-description. Generic platitude. Deepak Chopra quote. https://t.co/ZOUr6vS97N
CreateMaddness @hothicgippie
501 Followers 1K Following Maybe today I feel like being an empowered woman🌻
Böb Jänke: Hönkÿ @Bob_Janke
39K Followers 10K Following Chicago Member FDIC Views are my own because you're not brave enough I write this for fun https://t.co/heH4IlIEWZ I know who DB Cooper is.
President Warren G. H.. @PopeAwesomeXIII
13K Followers 2K Following Commercially Inviable. ✌️ 29th US President (1921-1923) 🧐 Tip jar! https://t.co/Igf16XkzWv ❤ He/Him 👍 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🏴☠️ ❤️ See pinned for migration info
Stone @StoneAgeRadio13
9K Followers 2K Following Big smartass, small pond. Based on true events and other bullshit I made up. https://t.co/zWj3lHItCn
Royotathon 🚘 @Royotathon
12K Followers 869 Following idiot. one time documentary subject. Métis. he/him https://t.co/wJiiuU7cAz
Daveastated @Daveastated
7K Followers 1K Following Now I am become Dave, the destroyer of words. *Inventor of the flinglong* I only sleep to give my phone a breakYou’re being sold as an action figure. What two accessories do you come with?
His name is the last thing you ate. What is it?
I feel most attractive when I’m shedding my uterine lining.
I’m a freak in the streets and really tired in the sheets.
Name something you might find in a woman’s purse.
Ain’t nobody got time to listen to the microwave celebrating. Keep all that hootin and hollerin to yourself.
Brushing my cats teeth. I think I’m going to frame this and hang it in my bathroom.
What’s something you can say during sex and at Walmart?
2 raccoons trying to open a door
I’m here to promote fun & laughs & bring some traffic to my YouTube. If you wanna check it out, this is a video of my husband finding out our twosome was turning into a threesome 😂 youtu.be/YMiucOOK0ks
Gas pumps be like, “oh you’re in a hurry? Here’s a brief 37 question survey before you can begin fueling”
I sleep with 3. Ceiling fan, floor fan & my husband, he’s a big fan 😂 I’m here to promote fun & laughs & bring some traffic to my YouTube. If you wanna check it out, this is a video of my husband finding out our twosome was turning into a threesome 😂 youtu.be/YMiucOOK0ks
People say “getting stoned” so casually like that wouldn’t really hurt
Trends for United States
53,4 B posts
15,3 B posts
7.546 posts
29,6 B posts
20,4 B posts
34,4 B posts
6.527 posts
20,8 B posts
1.851 posts
206 B posts
26,4 B posts
11,6 B posts
20,3 B posts
5.315 posts
116 B posts
1.016 posts
5.949 posts
2.047 posts
10,4 B posts
You might like
Shit I tell my toddle..
@Toddler_talkin
2K Followers
Licensed to Dad
@LicensedtoDad
500 Followers
Accidental SAHM
@SahmAccidental
1K Followers
Stories for my Future..
@StoriesformyFu1
480 Followers
Tired Mom
@TiredMomma7
2K Followers
The Mom, M.Ed. 💃
@TheMomMEd
1K Followers
Mammagoose84🇺🇲�..
@mammagoose84
663 Followers
Hot Mess Mil Mom
@mil_mess
953 Followers
batshitparent
@batshitparent
445 Followers
Howard County Times
@HoCoTimes
15K Followers
Elproteinpapi 🧬 �..
@elproteinpapi
99 Followers
Just Mom
@MumOf2Beasties
1K Followers