HowManyWordsClemFandango? @Sam_MiniC
Spinner, dyer, glitter magnet. Amateur Fuckologist. mobile.twitter.com/search/from:@S… UK Joined February 2009-
Tweets11K
-
Followers947
-
Following932
-
Likes16K
Hoping quite a few of you are visited by 3 spirits tonight and become less wankery by tomorrow! Merry Christmas!
First ever year where I ate the whisky and mince pie we left out for Santa. I've never felt like more of a fraud!
If the people you love don't ruin Christmas for you, is it even really Christmas?
Karen marching into The Church of Nativity: I'd like to speak to your manger!
Bought some alphabet soup and if you think AC screws your messages up, you should see this shit
whilst we're talking about positive community projects. This is our new cabin being built on the campsite by the Crosscut Coop, an all women building, carpentry and woodworking collective based in Scotland. crosscutcoop.com/manifesto/ #isleofrum #communityempowerment #womanpower
I was fired from Twitter this morning. I was responsible for making you think you'd remember that amazing tweet later, so you didn't have to draft it. But then you forgot it 2 minutes later.
Overheard a university student say “Arctic Monkeys were my dad’s favourite band when I was little.” The passage of time is relentless, unfathomable, cruel, and unforgiving.
I was dishonorably discharged from Old Navy
Dude on tiktok said something about the 'red room, you know what I'm talking about' & I was very confident I did. Except I was thinking about the Redrum murder room from The Shining and I actually still don't know what he was talking about.
There is only one beauty secret that works on feet, and that is to cover them up. I'm wearing seven pairs of socks right now.
Now that Elon has seen my data I just feel like all the mystery has gone out of our relationship, you know?
My girlfriend went out of town so I’m using the time to watch tv shows she doesn’t like at a slightly louder than normal volume. This is the 36-year-old equivalent of throwing an epic party when your parents leave.
Solidarity implies the existence of liquidarity and gasidarity
I made some delicious soup with my grandma today I know traditionally you're supposed to scatter their ashes, but still...
You know it's bad when you see Mrs rabbit isn't driving the fire engine and immediately think, "I bet they have to call out the helicopter". I may watch too much Peppa Pig.
'Entangled particles don't know what state they're in until observed & measured' I have never felt more connected to the universe because same my entangled bitch, very same.
.:RiotGrlErin:. @RiotGrlErin
55K Followers 3K Following • goth daria vibes • fear does not exist in this bio • muppet enthusiast • reba/dolly 2024 • subscribe •Midge @mxmclain
35K Followers 2K Following Relentless architect of my own hell, curator of seasonal profanities, cultural symbolBoyd's Backyard™ @TheBoydP
102K Followers 20K Following I’d rather be working on my yard. #envydastrength I retweet regular people. My tweets are here: https://t.co/zOIJ18SHBVAdam @adamgreattweet
63K Followers 3K Following Resident physician as seen on Buzzfeed and TV, RTd by Barack Obama. He/HimKate again @Kateness8
10K Followers 2K Following I’m doing amazing, sweetie • she/her • as seen on buzzfeed that one time • Reese’s Goblin • wishlist: https://t.co/mY0eO30PnDDaveastated @Daveastated
7K Followers 1K Following Now I am become Dave, the destroyer of words. *Inventor of the flinglong* I only sleep to give my phone a breakGhostface Kryllah @kryzazzy
25K Followers 5K Following 𝕌𝕟𝕒𝕡𝕠𝕝𝕠𝕘𝕖𝕥𝕚𝕔𝕒𝕝𝕝𝕪 𝔻𝕠𝕡𝕖 ℝ𝕒𝕔𝕔𝕠𝕠𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕦𝕣 𝕊𝕒𝕦𝕤𝕒𝕘𝕖 𝔼𝕘𝕘 𝕄𝕔𝕄𝕦𝕗𝕗𝕚𝕟 𝔼𝕟𝕥𝕙𝕦𝕤𝕚𝕒𝕤tBob Golen @BobGolen
33K Followers 23K Following Hey, give me a try. Mainly old jokes (spruced up a bit) and sentimental musings. Big believer in kindness. Leaning left, but not very woke (Boomer, ya know).Vinod Chhaproo @Chhapiness
16K Followers 2K Following Domesticated Husband Father of 2 Ransacking Raccoons.Featured on @netflixfamily @buzzfeed @thedad IG @Chhapiness Shows & Inquiries-https://t.co/F6Q2TKOV1MClaire Behind The Hai.. @urmumsausername
44K Followers 6K Following PayPal➡https://t.co/Kf0eVciHmW tweets➡ https://t.co/EJvcH671EQCynicalTherapist @CynicalTherapi1
15K Followers 8K Following LMFT-LADAC Addictions Expert, Not your therapist, both traumatized and trauma informed. Sometimes a writer https://t.co/Y7o1NsmtJh Bad words ftw. 🏳️🌈President Warren G. H.. @PopeAwesomeXIII
13K Followers 2K Following Commercially Inviable. ✌️ 29th US President (1921-1923) 🧐 Tip jar! https://t.co/Igf16XkzWv ❤ He/Him 👍 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🏴☠️ ❤️ See pinned for migration infoKayla Chow Show @KaylaChowShow
47K Followers 15K Following 💙 Survived my mid-mid-life crisis. //SUPER MARRIED//BOY MOM//CATS//TACOS//SUNSCREEN//BEER//MURDERINO//LACTOSE INTOLERANT// 💙VENMO @ Kayla-Chow-ShowKaterina Mistry @KaterinaMi19378
67 Followers 5K FollowingPing Macpherson @p_macpher
45 Followers 5K FollowingLoni Oswalt @loni_oswa
14 Followers 3K FollowingHazel Palm @PalmHazel75245
48 Followers 5K FollowingMelissa Jee @JeeMelis
53 Followers 5K FollowingJoni Welti @joni_wel
17 Followers 3K FollowingPam Washington @PamWashing63823
74 Followers 3K FollowingTawana Teehee @teeh_tawa
71 Followers 5K Followingicu42069 @itsnotaphaseth0
110 Followers 3K Followingzozo @kSYBVY
285 Followers 1K FollowingChris @chris__sunk
212 Followers 2K Following Day Trader - Cobra affiliate - Discount here: https://t.co/i4EVlQQ8nK...不能为空 @WUk5KLtmKOjUkQh
3 Followers 130 FollowingRealSpace Theatre @realspacethtr
265 Followers 1K Following Theatre company based in the heart of Toronto. Producing original, interactive theatre in REAL spaces. Now offering coached classes! #FringeTO #RealspaceTracy Rowland 🇨�.. @Tracy_Rowland
1K Followers 2K Following Actress, Scientist, Cake decorator and pastry eater! 🌈 Love is Love. Pyrite in a diamond worldRupesh Ambani @RupeshAmbani3
18 Followers 126 FollowingOfficial Plant Daddy @thighslappin
361 Followers 97 Following Go follow @LexoLuthoro for jokes that don't involve cum or buttholes- as much. Happily Married, she/they, 21+ 🔞 Sub to my OF, u know u want to.marctheFINN(ProChoice.. @mssundquist
1K Followers 2K Following Retired liberal old guy No Malarkey! Chevy Bolt ⚡ Non-Thiest #anti-ra #anti-fa #BLM #feminist Slava Ukraini 🇺🇦💙💛🌻please, no beautiful young womenTheLostEnvoy 🐙 @EnvoyLost
744 Followers 714 Following Under the Radar. Very susceptible to flattery. Stupid grins a lot. American Bully dad. ADHD is my superpower. The black crayon is mine𝑭𝒐𝒐𝒃𝒚 @hyperNymby
1K Followers 1K Following Attack feet behind the couch destroy couch flop over give attitude hide when guests come over hopped up on goofballs hunt anything that moves chase imaginaryEL-TAWEL @ELTAWEL20
1 Followers 3K Following i am here to see freshly brewed content that cure my boredom.Bob @1boby101
1K Followers 4K Following Martini's; equality; proud dad of 3 daughters; star wars; mandalorian; Boba fett; sarcastic; Chicago cubs/bulls/bears; creighton bluejaysJohn Carpenter’s Th.. @TheAlexNevil
33K Followers 15K Following Recent: https://t.co/8uaZSAV2lL. Dog's Tweets: https://t.co/56U9akrqGb.Old IU Hoosier GUY @JochenLC
590 Followers 3K FollowingDave Jor @dave_jor
2K Followers 4K Following I pass as normal, but really... I’m pretty fucked up... addict in recovery. DMs open if you need an ear... but nothing more because I’ll fuck that upTomJoad @The_Tom_Joad_
2K Followers 4K Following We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the drugs began to take hold. "I feel a bit lightheaded; maybe you should drive...."Knight of the Living .. @augustearth
665 Followers 1K Following Like disco lemonade #BLM #eattherich #antiworkMoggy @simonconroy
2K Followers 2K Following No milk today. pronouns: tweeter on twitter who tweets tweets, meow hiss. 🏴Join the Cult of Amy... @Froschauer_AF
2K Followers 2K Following I brought cookies. She/her. https://t.co/seYD6a7hY3meghan @deloisivete
20K Followers 3K Following mother of boys | surrounded by a chaos of my own making | tweets in link belowDJ Gloworm🌈™ @ThePanoramas
3K Followers 2K Following ♪♫♪Secret diary of my imaginary band #ThePanoramas 🎥Directed by @theshihtzusay For extra scenes follow me on https://t.co/m1gDX519O6§MŪRFÏT KÅPPÅ (M.. @YSO_CRS
3K Followers 2K Following Reppin' The #6ix8ightJuggalos & The #BCSuperNaturals.. 💀🤡🖤miss678😻🗣🏖�.. @misshteaches4
14K Followers 14K Following 4th grade #teacher, #BLM, Animal lover #gunreform #clearthelist 🌊🌊 #bluewave2020 I follow back!No Context Pics @nocontextpix
2K Followers 2K Followingjane @candid_jane@mas.. @candid_chalkie
737 Followers 793 Following Inventer of the word *plagiarism*. Lean left; riddled with existential angst.revengeguy @revengeguy
204 Followers 784 Following Verified. Revenge advice that works‼️Do you need help? Visit website, I may have already solved this for you. #author #revenge #advice #getevenR D Ronald @RDRonaldauthor
170K Followers 140K Following A transgressive novelist for All and None. Now writing more books while getting older and more miserable. #TransgressiveFiction #TFDIAnimal05 @loneanimal
742 Followers 3K Following Old guy with a urge to explore the new media ways of the world, what have I got to lose?Greg T ☮️ @Rigel037
4K Followers 5K Following Husband, father, Disabled IT professional, musician and car enthusiast. Diagnosed with vascular dementia.Just Kidding Jeez @Sp.. @justkiddingjeez
4K Followers 5K Following It was a joke, ffs #Resist #HowFuckingDareThey NO LISTS OR TAG LISTS PLZ TYSurge musiq @surgemusiq
12 Followers 82 Following For Bookings Email: [email protected] IG: surgemusiqM to the W, 🇺🇸 .. @bigmike_ak
664 Followers 3K Following A big guy up in Alaska, who loves tech, computers, science, TV, Anime, and kick'n it in the Last Frontier. He/Him/DudeRob Lennox @roblennoxmusic
1K Followers 5K Following Gubbi Gubbi Country. Good food and drink and mixtapes Sunshine Coast, Australia Hear my mixtapes at mixcloud https://t.co/CsvpM3BB09Sugar Hiccup @ApollosLute
194 Followers 1K Following Clown. T1D. Booze hound. Amateur woodworker. Shoegazer. MA in Art and Philosophy. Cure fan. Fender fan. Marshall enthusiast. Chicken and dumplings are soup!.:RiotGrlErin:. @RiotGrlErin
55K Followers 3K Following • goth daria vibes • fear does not exist in this bio • muppet enthusiast • reba/dolly 2024 • subscribe •Midge @mxmclain
35K Followers 2K Following Relentless architect of my own hell, curator of seasonal profanities, cultural symbolBoyd's Backyard™ @TheBoydP
102K Followers 20K Following I’d rather be working on my yard. #envydastrength I retweet regular people. My tweets are here: https://t.co/zOIJ18SHBVAdam @adamgreattweet
63K Followers 3K Following Resident physician as seen on Buzzfeed and TV, RTd by Barack Obama. He/HimKate again @Kateness8
10K Followers 2K Following I’m doing amazing, sweetie • she/her • as seen on buzzfeed that one time • Reese’s Goblin • wishlist: https://t.co/mY0eO30PnDDaveastated @Daveastated
7K Followers 1K Following Now I am become Dave, the destroyer of words. *Inventor of the flinglong* I only sleep to give my phone a breakyour other mom @difficultpatty
37K Followers 969 Following Bad at hydrangeas. Ibuprofen enthusiast. We write jokes here. https://t.co/sVPCoTC4PwNurseBrianRN @rn_murse
19K Followers 825 Following Singer-Songscreamer I Gay Homosexual I Pubic Figure | Fourth ThingBob Golen @BobGolen
33K Followers 23K Following Hey, give me a try. Mainly old jokes (spruced up a bit) and sentimental musings. Big believer in kindness. Leaning left, but not very woke (Boomer, ya know).Stabbatha Christy @LoveNLunchmeat
61K Followers 4K Following murder and cake. https://t.co/O1Sm1XVNmoVinod Chhaproo @Chhapiness
16K Followers 2K Following Domesticated Husband Father of 2 Ransacking Raccoons.Featured on @netflixfamily @buzzfeed @thedad IG @Chhapiness Shows & Inquiries-https://t.co/F6Q2TKOV1MClaire Behind The Hai.. @urmumsausername
44K Followers 6K Following PayPal➡https://t.co/Kf0eVciHmW tweets➡ https://t.co/EJvcH671EQPresident Warren G. H.. @PopeAwesomeXIII
13K Followers 2K Following Commercially Inviable. ✌️ 29th US President (1921-1923) 🧐 Tip jar! https://t.co/Igf16XkzWv ❤ He/Him 👍 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🏴☠️ ❤️ See pinned for migration infoIndy @IndecisiveJones
19K Followers 886 Following husband, father, animation aficionado, man trapped in the body of a penguin, pfp by @obscureaaronIsle of Kerrera Devel.. @IKDT16
605 Followers 385 Following Working hard to improve island life for the 68 full time residents and thousands of annual visitors. We love our island home on the west coast of Scotland.Tracy Rowland 🇨�.. @Tracy_Rowland
1K Followers 2K Following Actress, Scientist, Cake decorator and pastry eater! 🌈 Love is Love. Pyrite in a diamond worldPig of the Day 🐷 @Pigofthe
15K Followers 37 Following DM your submissions 💗We don’t own content. Family: @frogofthe @hamsterofthe @goatofthe @rabbitoftheday @cowoftheday1 @Dogofthe_ @DonkeyoftheDay1Cow of the Day🐮 @CowoftheDay1
117K Followers 347 Following DM your submissions 💗We don’t own content published 🐮 family:@frogofthe @hamsterofthe @goatofthe @rabbitoftheday @pigofthe @Dogofthe_ @DonkeyoftheDay1marctheFINN(ProChoice.. @mssundquist
1K Followers 2K Following Retired liberal old guy No Malarkey! Chevy Bolt ⚡ Non-Thiest #anti-ra #anti-fa #BLM #feminist Slava Ukraini 🇺🇦💙💛🌻please, no beautiful young womenTheLostEnvoy 🐙 @EnvoyLost
744 Followers 714 Following Under the Radar. Very susceptible to flattery. Stupid grins a lot. American Bully dad. ADHD is my superpower. The black crayon is mine𝑭𝒐𝒐𝒃𝒚 @hyperNymby
1K Followers 1K Following Attack feet behind the couch destroy couch flop over give attitude hide when guests come over hopped up on goofballs hunt anything that moves chase imaginaryBob @1boby101
1K Followers 4K Following Martini's; equality; proud dad of 3 daughters; star wars; mandalorian; Boba fett; sarcastic; Chicago cubs/bulls/bears; creighton bluejaysJohn Carpenter’s Th.. @TheAlexNevil
33K Followers 15K Following Recent: https://t.co/8uaZSAV2lL. Dog's Tweets: https://t.co/56U9akrqGb.TomJoad @The_Tom_Joad_
2K Followers 4K Following We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the drugs began to take hold. "I feel a bit lightheaded; maybe you should drive...."Knight of the Living .. @augustearth
665 Followers 1K Following Like disco lemonade #BLM #eattherich #antiworkMoggy @simonconroy
2K Followers 2K Following No milk today. pronouns: tweeter on twitter who tweets tweets, meow hiss. 🏴Join the Cult of Amy... @Froschauer_AF
2K Followers 2K Following I brought cookies. She/her. https://t.co/seYD6a7hY3miss678😻🗣🏖�.. @misshteaches4
14K Followers 14K Following 4th grade #teacher, #BLM, Animal lover #gunreform #clearthelist 🌊🌊 #bluewave2020 I follow back!§MŪRFÏT KÅPPÅ (M.. @YSO_CRS
3K Followers 2K Following Reppin' The #6ix8ightJuggalos & The #BCSuperNaturals.. 💀🤡🖤DJ Gloworm🌈™ @ThePanoramas
3K Followers 2K Following ♪♫♪Secret diary of my imaginary band #ThePanoramas 🎥Directed by @theshihtzusay For extra scenes follow me on https://t.co/m1gDX519O6No Context Pics @nocontextpix
2K Followers 2K Followingjane @candid_jane@mas.. @candid_chalkie
737 Followers 793 Following Inventer of the word *plagiarism*. Lean left; riddled with existential angst.revengeguy @revengeguy
204 Followers 784 Following Verified. Revenge advice that works‼️Do you need help? Visit website, I may have already solved this for you. #author #revenge #advice #getevenR D Ronald @RDRonaldauthor
170K Followers 140K Following A transgressive novelist for All and None. Now writing more books while getting older and more miserable. #TransgressiveFiction #TFDIAnimal05 @loneanimal
742 Followers 3K Following Old guy with a urge to explore the new media ways of the world, what have I got to lose?Belowguard @belowguard
2K Followers 2K Following Taken. Deep Thinker. Big Heart. 💌 (Banner: Vows on the Move on Unsplashed)Greg T ☮️ @Rigel037
4K Followers 5K Following Husband, father, Disabled IT professional, musician and car enthusiast. Diagnosed with vascular dementia.Just Kidding Jeez @Sp.. @justkiddingjeez
4K Followers 5K Following It was a joke, ffs #Resist #HowFuckingDareThey NO LISTS OR TAG LISTS PLZ TYM to the W, 🇺🇸 .. @bigmike_ak
664 Followers 3K Following A big guy up in Alaska, who loves tech, computers, science, TV, Anime, and kick'n it in the Last Frontier. He/Him/DudeThe Truth Shall Make .. @MakeYeFretPod
2K Followers 151 Following The Truth Shall Make Ye Fret is a podcast in which we read, recap and discuss every book from the #Discworld series. Hosts: @joannahagan and @francibambiSugar Hiccup @ApollosLute
194 Followers 1K Following Clown. T1D. Booze hound. Amateur woodworker. Shoegazer. MA in Art and Philosophy. Cure fan. Fender fan. Marshall enthusiast. Chicken and dumplings are soup!John ... seriously? ... @pimp_my_yugo
1K Followers 2K Following ... too old, too white, too Catholic ... pimpmyyugo on Bluesky ...Jam @NIN75_
10K Followers 4K Following Tool, Nine Inch Nails, A Perfect Circle, Joy Division, New Order, The Cure, Ministry , Depeche Mode, Killing Joke, KMFDM, Laibach.... #weird 🔞stephen canning 🏳�.. @NormalSteve
3K Followers 3K Following Simple, Glittersexual, He/Him Clergy man wife to @jellydiditGreg Sopko @GregSopko
3K Followers 2K Following Mostly harmless, known for random bursts of sarcasm. Rabid fan of Cleveland teams.Tom O’Bedlam @puckboy87
518 Followers 2K Following Men are like steel. When they lose their temper, they lose their worth. In search of Grail (shaped beacon). I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass...OhThatGregPorter @oh_porter
1K Followers 2K Following Former DJ, love House Music. Lived in Detroit, Los Angeles and Baltimore.Al Garland @AlGarland3
3K Followers 4K Following Grateful Dead lover, the ⛱️ Beach 🏖️ ,conservative, ex New Yorker, Yankees fan. I want the best for everyone. Horses 🐴 🐎. I can get off a 🚲🚳 bikeNoleftbrain @noleftbrain1
2K Followers 3K Following 🚫⬅️🧠 Orphan. Blueman Group Reject. Former Goat herder. No Lists @[email protected]Miss Marjorie Regrets.. @coffinsneeze
3K Followers 3K Following mother / anarchist / sentient shitpost since 1982 / black lives matter / #mmiwg / respect my trans homies or catch these hands, homiesArmando Iannucci @Aiannucci
696K Followers 1K Following Words and Smiles. Also, Patron of Child Poverty Action Group, @CPAGUK.bob mortimer @RealBobMortimer
1.2M Followers 203 Following in our home, in our special drawer, we keep all the items we adore. in a sterilzed cabinet they are kept, and the surrounding environs are regularly sweptBob McIntosh @scotfot
8K Followers 665 Following Tweeting natural world of Penicuik, geology, geo collections, Also on https://t.co/27VRDuaHpA — and https://t.co/59XjYjOKpYTheFastShow @TheFastShow1
171K Followers 6K Following Fan account. showing clips from #TheFastShow. content not owned & will remove on request, where appropriate. Instagram; @TheFastShow1hawksie @JustmeMandi
11K Followers 10K Following Lover of ice cream, cheese, animals, music, raunchy jokes, true crime & stupid mindless t.v.. Pro Napper.. LET'S TWEET!! 💙Sharky @Mr_Landshark
13K Followers 12K Following Provide random insight to strangers, giver of sincere compliments, educator, raconteur.My New Year’s resolution? Out with the TurboTax and in with the TurboSnax
I flex on Santa by leaving out all the ingredients for him to make his own damn cookies
I’m giving you all a Sony Betamax for Christmas, but only if you’re verified Elon probably
Kinda bullshit that Bigfoot isn’t an Avenger
Who called it toilet paper and not hole roll?
“THAT’S BULLSHIT!” -dung beetle probably
I know this much is true, I’d definitely wear a pair of Spandau ballet tights
@Sam_MiniC I haven't figured out anything. I just pretend and hope no one notices.
@Sam_MiniC Don't want him to think I'm stingey with my measures.
@Sam_MiniC It's ok. I left the bottle out so he can help himself.
Hoping quite a few of you are visited by 3 spirits tonight and become less wankery by tomorrow! Merry Christmas!
First ever year where I ate the whisky and mince pie we left out for Santa. I've never felt like more of a fraud!
Karen marching into The Church of Nativity: I'd like to speak to your manger!
Bought some alphabet soup and if you think AC screws your messages up, you should see this shit
whilst we're talking about positive community projects. This is our new cabin being built on the campsite by the Crosscut Coop, an all women building, carpentry and woodworking collective based in Scotland. crosscutcoop.com/manifesto/ #isleofrum #communityempowerment #womanpower
I was fired from Twitter this morning. I was responsible for making you think you'd remember that amazing tweet later, so you didn't have to draft it. But then you forgot it 2 minutes later.
Overheard a university student say “Arctic Monkeys were my dad’s favourite band when I was little.” The passage of time is relentless, unfathomable, cruel, and unforgiving.