Broken Puppet @java_assassin
Unapologetically Semipresent Idiot Savant (like 1% Savant...) (crouton/seasoned cracker) minimally melanated mom person Twitter.com/search?q=from%… Texas, USA Joined May 2014-
Tweets38K
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Followers6K
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Following2K
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Likes90K
Broken Puppet retweeted
We’re ten minutes into Short Circuit and I’ve already heard “son of a bitch,” “bullshit, and “fucker.” 80’s PG movies were just built different.
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Broken Puppet retweeted
You want me to get involved in the community? That place outside? Where there are people?
Broken Puppet retweeted
Wanna know what the 90’s were like? 1. put your phone down 2. go outside
Broken Puppet retweeted
Nice injury you got there. Be a real shame if someone added insult to it.
Broken Puppet retweeted
Sometimes I feel young, and then I remember the number we’d call to get the correct time to set our clocks
Broken Puppet retweeted
When someone tells me I’m gaslighting them I set them on fire.
Broken Puppet retweeted
Office rock bands don't practice... They just have printer jams
Broken Puppet retweeted
Nobody asks a rhetorical question better than the server at a Mexican restaurant asking if you’d like a refill on the chips.
Broken Puppet retweeted
How lucky I might be if your eyes gazed upon me and you decided I was worthy.
Broken Puppet retweeted
My patience is like a gift card, not sure how much is left but lets give it a try
Broken Puppet retweeted
They've officially canceled school for tomorrow because of snow but we aren't telling the kids because why ruin an early bedtime?
Broken Puppet retweeted
Keep your hands to yourself lady, I invited you over to craft and that's what we're going to do.
Broken Puppet retweeted
Introverts wear glasses to avoid eye contacts
Broken Puppet retweeted
You keep asking where the devil is like you haven’t even looked in the details.
Broken Puppet retweeted
Let's make it 8, I have a conference call with my demons at 7.
Broken Puppet retweeted
You’re the human version of boiled egg farts.
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