𝚁𝚊𝚌𝚑, 𝙴𝚜𝚚. @thebgcomplex
Danny Devito is my spirit animal (she/her) twitter.com/search?q=from%… Boston, MA Joined April 2011-
Tweets17K
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Followers5K
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Following2K
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Likes103K
𝚁𝚊𝚌𝚑, 𝙴𝚜𝚚. retweeted
I've loved pizza more than I've loved most men.
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𝚁𝚊𝚌𝚑, 𝙴𝚜𝚚. retweeted
The name Ron is short for Wrong
𝚁𝚊𝚌𝚑, 𝙴𝚜𝚚. retweeted
I was once happy and carefree… It was on August 27, 1988. I believe it was a Saturday. That was a pretty good day.
𝚁𝚊𝚌𝚑, 𝙴𝚜𝚚. retweeted
Celine DiOn *claps twice* Celine DiOff
Your 2024 campaign slogan is: Your name 2024, the last text message you sent I’ll go first. Rachel 2024, Seems fine enough
𝚁𝚊𝚌𝚑, 𝙴𝚜𝚚. retweeted
ZOOKEEPER: So this snake is 3.14 metres long ME: *way too loud* A pi-thon ZOOKEEPER: *pulling out his tazer* look away kids
𝚁𝚊𝚌𝚑, 𝙴𝚜𝚚. retweeted
I told Satan “not today,” & scheduled him in for next Tuesday
𝚁𝚊𝚌𝚑, 𝙴𝚜𝚚. retweeted
Going to bed for the 14,600th time or so. Hopefully tonight is the night I figure out what to do with my arms.
Even Minnie needs a minute to herself sometimes
𝚁𝚊𝚌𝚑, 𝙴𝚜𝚚. retweeted
oh you LOVE the earth? Name 3 of her layers
𝚁𝚊𝚌𝚑, 𝙴𝚜𝚚. retweeted
You can’t use this kind of baby seat anymore thanks to the woke left.
𝚁𝚊𝚌𝚑, 𝙴𝚜𝚚. retweeted
*accidentally makes crinkling noise.
𝚁𝚊𝚌𝚑, 𝙴𝚜𝚚. retweeted
Spent part of my Saturday night googling best lentil soup recipes, so don't tell me I don't know how to party
Dr Pepper peeps are the sign that the apocalypse is nigh
Realistic tortured poet in action
Realistic tortured poet in action https://t.co/BjbmKyRZzH
Only a real Jewish mother can turn a stomach flu into a diet pep talk
𝚁𝚊𝚌𝚑, 𝙴𝚜𝚚. retweeted
Gang initiations from the Midwest be like “you have to eat the entire potato salad”
If there isn’t a little blood, is it really hand grated Parmesan?
𝚁𝚊𝚌𝚑, 𝙴𝚜𝚚. retweeted
I'm all nervous, no system.
𝚁𝚊𝚌𝚑, 𝙴𝚜𝚚. retweeted
Me: I said hit me again. Costco Sample Lady: Please. I have a family.
Midge @mxmclain
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Mad Hatter Mommy!!! @MadHatterMommy
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nice things I say to .. @meantomyself
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33K Followers 3K Following Twitter is cheaper than therapy. Tweets are mine 👀@huffpost @TODAY_Parents @buzzfeed @babycenter @chicagotribune @boredpanda @thepoke @thechive ...
Saint Vivica, Patron .. @QueenVofCoffee
18K Followers 2K Following DM Room cheerleader & typo goddess. 56% funny. TH: @Conchvegas1 . Avi by ToonMe. Header: @dimplesticks. https://t.co/dRgjRopfud
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Kiss my Fat Ash🍑 @Tobi_Is_Fab
43K Followers 4K Following Sometimes on @BuzzFeed @HuffPostParents @Cheezburger @boredpanda @ThePoke @theCHIVE @TODAYshow @Upworthy❤️ Jeff Goldblum & Oxford commas. Avi by @popartcartoonz
Helleanor Rigby @Mom_Overboard
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DamnFineTweet @damnfinetweet
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2 Followers 114 Following
Hummingbird lover @humming_club
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carl @dm1000121
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Guy Incognito (itiner.. @ShutUpThatsWho
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98 Followers 350 Following
Amelia ✨forever✨ @amelia_squealia
307 Followers 5K Following everyone i follow endorses me soda junkie 20 year old music goddess i love you
HAROLD BIGGS 🥃 @privatefigure83
1K Followers 5K Following I am here to simulate experiences and correspond. There will be stories, memes, videos, feelings, desire and atmosphere. Contains content of an adult nature.
Juliana/Juju (I am up.. @immerse_ur_soul
35K Followers 22K Following ❤️🩹#BeKind 🌌look🆙#samesky #mentalhealthmatters ✍🏼📸 #Radiohead #Swiftie #musicislife #nature “That’s a real fukking legacy to leave” 🫶 🥀
Harris @GrandpaHarris65
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Marti @MartiZenith
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Insert a witty name h.. @Thehotstoner
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🌻Heather🌻 @BoobsNAnxiety
12K Followers 11K Following #NSFW! 🚫Minors. 420💨 Married to @chrisismyname87💍#NFL #CowboysNation⭐ #ChiefsKingdom 🏈🚫DM #WWE #RKO #Rhea💪I repost A LOT! #Taurus ♉ #Liberal🌊
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Nick Allen @NVisneskicomedy
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ella (tiktok: @blonde.. @blondehotcoffee
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517 Followers 870 Following Super Dad. Collector of hurt feelings. I play, I sing, I cook, I laugh, I cry, I live life to the fullest..but I really love to sing. DM's open #Fuckcancer
Redkat5000 @Redkat5000
119 Followers 474 Following
no, different Mike @localareamike
470 Followers 2K Following Dad (FT) ▪ Government Hack (FT) ▪ Super-hilarious (PT) ▪ Nobody here can dance like me
🏳️🌈SourPat.. @snide_sally
17K Followers 17K Following USAFBrat🇺🇸VetFam •Unapologetic Atheist •AutoImmune-Chronic Pain-Cannabis Patient •Empathetic Sarcasm •AutistMom
Sam @333666bbb
7K Followers 6K Following A quiet man with the loudest fucking mind. 2nd account @3366bb
Johnny Johnson @jej_jr
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Conleth Byrne @ConlethByrne1
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MoBiWan @MobiWanYT
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De La Joe Is Dead @perryperihelion
917 Followers 1K Following I’m up here for the weirdo swarm. Physical media collector. Saints/Pelicans/Reds fan.
Calm Trueno @tropical_xiezhi
40 Followers 270 Following
YEAR ZERO @MEESTERIDLE
825 Followers 702 Following misanthrope, nontheistic satanist, Apple aficionado, *NIX gunslinger, poodle dad, metalhead, horror movies, POP Vinyls
Kitana Dylan Kinkade @Kitana_Kinkade
139 Followers 352 Following Femboy Fantasy & Fun (Transfem) 21+ ONLY
JustAnotherGuy🇿�.. @jcmzngy6yk
691 Followers 2K Following Make the mind tougher by exposing it to adversity.
Vernon Briscoe Woke B.. @VernonBriscoe
1K Followers 2K Following A Remainer (living in the moonlit downlands). Interested in politics, music and comedy. Love all animals. Woke between naps.
Joe Pontillo @JoePontillo
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Midge @mxmclain
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Mad Hatter Mommy!!! @MadHatterMommy
23K Followers 4K Following sometimes funny, full of cheese, chocolate and unpopular opinions; don’t DM please https://t.co/IdtiajUsnd
.:RiotGrlErin:. @RiotGrlErin
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inspector ratchet @_hood_mona_lisa
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nice things I say to .. @meantomyself
28K Followers 8K Following Hopeful idiot | your big suburban | Log Lady | X's hottest mom™️ | tired founder. Not funny or young enough to write tweets for Clorox. avi @popartcartoonz
PieGuy @ilovepie84
30K Followers 6K Following My wife works two jobs so that I can chase my dream of being in a boy band. https://t.co/JhWCxIXYbK
natalayhehoo @highprobably1
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meghan @deloisivete
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Stabbatha Christy @LoveNLunchmeat
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Saint Vivica, Patron .. @QueenVofCoffee
18K Followers 2K Following DM Room cheerleader & typo goddess. 56% funny. TH: @Conchvegas1 . Avi by ToonMe. Header: @dimplesticks. https://t.co/dRgjRopfud
@itssherifield @itssherifield
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Kiss my Fat Ash🍑 @Tobi_Is_Fab
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Helleanor Rigby @Mom_Overboard
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MIT Jews for Ceasefir.. @mitj4c
737 Followers 51 Following 𝗠𝗜𝗧 𝗝𝗲𝘄𝘀 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗖𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲𝗳𝗶𝗿𝗲 We're Jewish MIT students/staff/faculty/alumni in solidarity with Palestine. We say ceasefire NOW, end the occupation!
linc @lincnotfound
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Royotathon 🚘 @Royotathon
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Tangler @NDen42
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Kacy Sager @THESagerbomb
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Flinnie @flinnie
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RAE @RaeLeeShel
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Harris @GrandpaHarris65
10K Followers 10K Following husband | father | grandpa | democrat | humor | sarcasm | grumpy old man | gardening | memories | music | stupid stuff | you dm, i block
Insert a witty name h.. @Thehotstoner
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BStylin @chicketypoo22
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Strzyga @Strzyaga
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Griffin AKA Mr. Hundr.. @215griff
137 Followers 157 Following self deprecating yet vaginally confident
Hollie Harris @allholls
501 Followers 173 Following Writer. Mom. Storyteller. #GenXer. And apparently the person in charge of what's for dinner until the end of time.
ella (tiktok: @blonde.. @blondehotcoffee
2K Followers 2K Following i only tweet when i’m high or manic
JP TheRealSingingDad @JP_TheRealDad
517 Followers 870 Following Super Dad. Collector of hurt feelings. I play, I sing, I cook, I laugh, I cry, I live life to the fullest..but I really love to sing. DM's open #Fuckcancer
no, different Mike @localareamike
470 Followers 2K Following Dad (FT) ▪ Government Hack (FT) ▪ Super-hilarious (PT) ▪ Nobody here can dance like me
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MoBiWan @MobiWanYT
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𝕆𝕟𝕖 𝕋𝕠.. @wolfsingleton
362 Followers 338 Following There's gonna be lots of wordplay and foreplay involved. Strap in fucker.
Joe Pontillo @JoePontillo
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Guy Incognito (itiner.. @ShutUpThatsWho
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tacomoose @TXtacomoose
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petfinder names @petfindernames
377K Followers 9 Following animals with unconventional names / created by @420insidejob & co-managed by @nicolejusttweet / DM submissions. / Business Inquiries: [email protected]
''CrazyHorse'' Chris .. @CrazyHorseCB
1K Followers 2K Following Video games, football, wrestling. Father, Lvl 34. #ForTheShoe forever. #RoboticGang Back after a long time. Never forget, you're awesome.
Jesse @jverona77
16K Followers 14K Following dad of 2. blue voter, always….also @jverona77 on BlueSky but never there - Occasionally funny.
dADDisms @Beagz
16K Followers 8K Following Finding humor in marriage, fatherhood, ADD, adoption and autism. TikTok @realbeags
whalefact @awhalefact
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ChronicIllnessHumor @HumorChronic
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Funny Snarky Humor @FUNNYsnarkyJOKE
9K Followers 2K Following I like 2 make light of things 2 brighten up a dark world. #funny #humor #satire #snarky #memes #humour #hilarious
Maybe Chris Hemsworth @MaybeNotChrisH
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SeaShell @DianeP89
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dianarama @dirtybirdie_
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Geraint @geraintgriffith
10K Followers 2K Following We were just on the edge of Barstow when we decided that glamourising drug use was reckless and irresponsible
Successfully Chaotic @SuccessfullyCh1
17K Followers 18K Following Wife. Mama to 7 kids. Biz owner. Accidental Podcaster. Speaker. Sarcastic hot mess who is just trying to get through the day
Mo🤦🏻♂️�.. @Mo_Ajudgemind
3K Followers 2K Following Prosecutor mind 🏛. My real curse is that I notice everything.
Maxaminion @maxaminion
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leisha @leisha1196
2K Followers 961 Following
Sourdeath Sam @SourdeathSam
6K Followers 4K Following Hate to see it. Host of 49ers Public Access (Weds at 7PST on YouTube).
åπd®ew 🐢🐢�.. @Andrew__Boley
2K Followers 1K Following Film/TV editor • Stan of The Mentaculus • Can Rent Cars • KFBR392 • Jokićian •
12:30 Flight @WillfulChild_xo
1K Followers 1K Following
Sometimes Ya Gotta Be.. @FSchadenfreude
1K Followers 2K Following Pronounced like Wii. 🎮 I laugh at a lot of things I probably shouldn't.
I logged 104 exercise minutes today and then ate candy for supper, because life is about balance.
I've loved pizza more than I've loved most men.
My husband accepted an invite to a bbq for us and said we would bring a salad, like “we” has anything to do with it.
i think beyonce might get her fashion inspiration from dolly parton: thread
Sure Earth gets a whole month to celebrate it but Pluto doesn’t get to be a planet anymore
This man is beat and exhausted. But happy? I think at least. It has been a while, trying to remember the emotion.
People often ask if my tweets are true stories, so here’s a rule of thumb: if it’s about me being a slut in high school, it’s true. If it’s about me being a slut now, I’m lying, it actually happened in high school.
thinking about the time I posted a video of me singing and some guy was like "ooh I really like the way you changed the key" and I'm over here like oh yeah that was totally on purpose and not me being utterly incapable of holding a tune
Lord help me I've made it around one time. I might have a second in me.
Four documents, 13 review questions, one quiz, and two finals are all that stand between me and a second degree. Hoping to have most of that knocked out today. Heaven is for closers.
My kids put a mermaid tail on the dog 😭I’m dying
Missionary is only for attractive people. Doggy is for not having to look at the face.
@PeterSt69301444 Yeah too late, too bad Would you rather have been in time or had a million dollars? I’m asking the real questions now
if kanye goes missing it was probably gotye.
@JMoneySlimer Hi! Would you rather have a jar of teeth or a chandelier made of beef jerky sticks
@ChicksRule Shhh don’t tell anyone else lol Would you rather be awesome at breakdancing or beatboxing? Not both, one or the other
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