𝚁𝚊𝚌𝚑, 𝙴𝚜𝚚. @thebgcomplex
Danny Devito is my spirit animal (she/her) twitter.com/search?q=from%… Boston, MA Joined April 2011-
Tweets17K
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Followers5K
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Following2K
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Likes103K
I've loved pizza more than I've loved most men.
The name Ron is short for Wrong
I was once happy and carefree… It was on August 27, 1988. I believe it was a Saturday. That was a pretty good day.
Celine DiOn *claps twice* Celine DiOff
Your 2024 campaign slogan is: Your name 2024, the last text message you sent I’ll go first. Rachel 2024, Seems fine enough
ZOOKEEPER: So this snake is 3.14 metres long ME: *way too loud* A pi-thon ZOOKEEPER: *pulling out his tazer* look away kids
I told Satan “not today,” & scheduled him in for next Tuesday
Going to bed for the 14,600th time or so. Hopefully tonight is the night I figure out what to do with my arms.
oh you LOVE the earth? Name 3 of her layers
Spent part of my Saturday night googling best lentil soup recipes, so don't tell me I don't know how to party
Realistic tortured poet in action
Only a real Jewish mother can turn a stomach flu into a diet pep talk
Gang initiations from the Midwest be like “you have to eat the entire potato salad”
If there isn’t a little blood, is it really hand grated Parmesan?
I'm all nervous, no system.
Me: I said hit me again. Costco Sample Lady: Please. I have a family.
Midge @mxmclain
35K Followers 2K Following Relentless architect of my own hell, curator of seasonal profanities, cultural symbolMad Hatter Mommy!!! @MadHatterMommy
23K Followers 4K Following sometimes funny, full of cheese, chocolate and unpopular opinions; don’t DM please https://t.co/IdtiajUsnd.:RiotGrlErin:. @RiotGrlErin
55K Followers 3K Following • goth daria vibes • fear does not exist in this bio • muppet enthusiast • reba/dolly 2024 • subscribe •inspector ratchet @_hood_mona_lisa
19K Followers 7K Following Public menace. Bog Witch. Level 58 Trainwreck. Costco Gold Star Member.nice things I say to .. @meantomyself
28K Followers 8K Following Hopeful idiot | your big suburban | Log Lady | X's hottest mom™️ | tired founder. Not funny or young enough to write tweets for Clorox. avi @popartcartoonzPieGuy @ilovepie84
30K Followers 6K Following My wife works two jobs so that I can chase my dream of being in a boy band. https://t.co/JhWCxIXYbKnatalayhehoo @highprobably1
38K Followers 3K Following This is not the profile you’re looking for. Gemini and Vol for life. Taken not stirred.meghan @deloisivete
20K Followers 3K Following mother of boys | surrounded by a chaos of my own making | tweets in link belowStabbatha Christy @LoveNLunchmeat
61K Followers 4K Following murder and cake. https://t.co/O1Sm1XVNmoA Dad Influence @gbergan
7K Followers 2K Following Most of my followers are bots. You're probably not even real. My posts in this link ⬇️Real Life Mommy @reallifemommy3
33K Followers 3K Following Twitter is cheaper than therapy. Tweets are mine 👀@huffpost @TODAY_Parents @buzzfeed @babycenter @chicagotribune @boredpanda @thepoke @thechive ...Saint Vivica, Patron .. @QueenVofCoffee
18K Followers 2K Following DM Room cheerleader & typo goddess. 56% funny. TH: @Conchvegas1 . Avi by ToonMe. Header: @dimplesticks. https://t.co/dRgjRopfud@itssherifield @itssherifield
13K Followers 1K Following Musician mama of 3 treading water and taking names Formerly @Lmemeit IG and TikTok: @itssherifield https://t.co/PEkz5e5DfKKiss my Fat Ash🍑 @Tobi_Is_Fab
43K Followers 4K Following Sometimes on @BuzzFeed @HuffPostParents @Cheezburger @boredpanda @ThePoke @theCHIVE @TODAYshow @Upworthy❤️ Jeff Goldblum & Oxford commas. Avi by @popartcartoonzHelleanor Rigby @Mom_Overboard
56K Followers 3K Following 🥪 take these broken wings and learn to fly 🏔DamnFineTweet @damnfinetweet
13K Followers 3K Following RIP DamnFineTweet 8/7/2019-4/27/2023 thank you for 85000 trophies and a million good vibes. I'll miss you!AdelaWallace @U90F05nt532739
2 Followers 114 FollowingHummingbird lover @humming_club
6K Followers 2K Following Welcome to @humming_club Follow us if you relly love hamming bird.carl @dm1000121
37 Followers 520 FollowingTanya Cliff @TanyaCliff1
9K Followers 8K Following Storyteller • Dreamer • Survivor • Human ~ 🎓BBA - Marketing Research @UWMadison 🎓MFA - Creative Writing @EmersonCollegeGuy Incognito (itiner.. @ShutUpThatsWho
6K Followers 3K Following love me for who I am... but... you know, anonymously - avi is from @fro_vo, header is from @FrogAvalancheTooTenseLenny @TooTense
98 Followers 350 FollowingAmelia ✨forever✨ @amelia_squealia
307 Followers 5K Following everyone i follow endorses me soda junkie 20 year old music goddess i love youHAROLD BIGGS 🥃 @privatefigure83
1K Followers 5K Following I am here to simulate experiences and correspond. There will be stories, memes, videos, feelings, desire and atmosphere. Contains content of an adult nature.Juliana/Juju (I am up.. @immerse_ur_soul
35K Followers 22K Following ❤️🩹#BeKind 🌌look🆙#samesky #mentalhealthmatters ✍🏼📸 #Radiohead #Swiftie #musicislife #nature “That’s a real fukking legacy to leave” 🫶 🥀Harris @GrandpaHarris65
10K Followers 10K Following husband | father | grandpa | democrat | humor | sarcasm | grumpy old man | gardening | memories | music | stupid stuff | you dm, i blockuser420 @420noname_666
114 Followers 804 FollowingRAE @RaeLeeShel
50 Followers 134 Following Just a girl, skirting the spectrum. A boy mom. Early childhood special education. Multi level elementary teacher.HunnyHiive @HunnyHiive
295 Followers 1K Following Tasks of Parenting is WILD FYI you're not alone on the journey.Marti @MartiZenith
4K Followers 2K Following I'm colder than snow season when it’s 20 below freezin’ 🥶🥶| None of this is canon | #musician #developer #authorInsert a witty name h.. @Thehotstoner
5K Followers 3K Following Just like weed, I make everything better. Doll, Baby Girl,Sweetheart,Goddess 💍 Stay out of my DM's with your pee pees 1117Courtney Wainscott @cmwxoxox
39 Followers 175 FollowingStrzyga @Strzyaga
1K Followers 1K Following Mother. Nerd. Animal lover and theropod enthusiast. ER/ICU nurseBStylin @chicketypoo22
3K Followers 2K Following Marketing analyst. Single momma of a toddler 👶❤ Polyam, 1 rescue dog (RIP tete and fiona😭) 🏳️🌈♋☀️ ♌🌜♏⬆️ 🎮🌳🌻Heather🌻 @BoobsNAnxiety
12K Followers 11K Following #NSFW! 🚫Minors. 420💨 Married to @chrisismyname87💍#NFL #CowboysNation⭐ #ChiefsKingdom 🏈🚫DM #WWE #RKO #Rhea💪I repost A LOT! #Taurus ♉ #Liberal🌊z @cyrillbiebs
94 Followers 3K FollowingNFTPerks @nft_perks63785
14 Followers 129 Following Marketing & Community Building | KOL Manager | Web3 Contents | Ambassador/Advisor: @GaiminIo @icphub_PT| DM me for PROMO 📩 | Contact TG https://t.co/H96qb4ZV3uNick Allen @NVisneskicomedy
827 Followers 2K Following 29, lead vocalist of #Morosary. Huge @AEW fan Cake and cookies = diet. **Not any sort of insight as to how I will perform in a working environment.**Jonathan Overton @urduecksalesguy
105K Followers 41K Following Commissioner of The Legendary Football Pool * x World Famous Car Salesman ⚡️https://t.co/paDcnRty8S⚡️ @MediSpa_LaBella #Just_Du_eck #PickLegendaryGriffin AKA Mr. Hundr.. @215griff
137 Followers 157 Following self deprecating yet vaginally confidentHollie Harris @allholls
501 Followers 173 Following Writer. Mom. Storyteller. #GenXer. And apparently the person in charge of what's for dinner until the end of time.ella (tiktok: @blonde.. @blondehotcoffee
2K Followers 2K Following i only tweet when i’m high or manicJP TheRealSingingDad @JP_TheRealDad
517 Followers 870 Following Super Dad. Collector of hurt feelings. I play, I sing, I cook, I laugh, I cry, I live life to the fullest..but I really love to sing. DM's open #FuckcancerRedkat5000 @Redkat5000
119 Followers 474 Followingno, different Mike @localareamike
470 Followers 2K Following Dad (FT) ▪ Government Hack (FT) ▪ Super-hilarious (PT) ▪ Nobody here can dance like me🏳️🌈SourPat.. @snide_sally
17K Followers 17K Following USAFBrat🇺🇸VetFam •Unapologetic Atheist •AutoImmune-Chronic Pain-Cannabis Patient •Empathetic Sarcasm •AutistMomSam @333666bbb
7K Followers 6K Following A quiet man with the loudest fucking mind. 2nd account @3366bbJohnny Johnson @jej_jr
99 Followers 506 FollowingConleth Byrne @ConlethByrne1
398 Followers 826 FollowingMoBiWan @MobiWanYT
656 Followers 513 Following That dude from TikTok // Art // Movies // Commentary // Comedy // Unofficially @aflgirl126 is my TCDe La Joe Is Dead @perryperihelion
917 Followers 1K Following I’m up here for the weirdo swarm. Physical media collector. Saints/Pelicans/Reds fan.Calm Trueno @tropical_xiezhi
40 Followers 270 FollowingYEAR ZERO @MEESTERIDLE
825 Followers 702 Following misanthrope, nontheistic satanist, Apple aficionado, *NIX gunslinger, poodle dad, metalhead, horror movies, POP VinylsKitana Dylan Kinkade @Kitana_Kinkade
139 Followers 352 Following Femboy Fantasy & Fun (Transfem) 21+ ONLYJustAnotherGuy🇿�.. @jcmzngy6yk
691 Followers 2K Following Make the mind tougher by exposing it to adversity.Vernon Briscoe Woke B.. @VernonBriscoe
1K Followers 2K Following A Remainer (living in the moonlit downlands). Interested in politics, music and comedy. Love all animals. Woke between naps.Joe Pontillo @JoePontillo
3K Followers 751 Following Comedian/influencer. Bio in the bio! Two comedy specials. YouTube show. Becoming more powerful by the second.Midge @mxmclain
35K Followers 2K Following Relentless architect of my own hell, curator of seasonal profanities, cultural symbolMad Hatter Mommy!!! @MadHatterMommy
23K Followers 4K Following sometimes funny, full of cheese, chocolate and unpopular opinions; don’t DM please https://t.co/IdtiajUsnd.:RiotGrlErin:. @RiotGrlErin
55K Followers 3K Following • goth daria vibes • fear does not exist in this bio • muppet enthusiast • reba/dolly 2024 • subscribe •inspector ratchet @_hood_mona_lisa
19K Followers 7K Following Public menace. Bog Witch. Level 58 Trainwreck. Costco Gold Star Member.nice things I say to .. @meantomyself
28K Followers 8K Following Hopeful idiot | your big suburban | Log Lady | X's hottest mom™️ | tired founder. Not funny or young enough to write tweets for Clorox. avi @popartcartoonzPieGuy @ilovepie84
30K Followers 6K Following My wife works two jobs so that I can chase my dream of being in a boy band. https://t.co/JhWCxIXYbKnatalayhehoo @highprobably1
38K Followers 3K Following This is not the profile you’re looking for. Gemini and Vol for life. Taken not stirred.meghan @deloisivete
20K Followers 3K Following mother of boys | surrounded by a chaos of my own making | tweets in link belowStabbatha Christy @LoveNLunchmeat
61K Followers 4K Following murder and cake. https://t.co/O1Sm1XVNmoA Dad Influence @gbergan
7K Followers 2K Following Most of my followers are bots. You're probably not even real. My posts in this link ⬇️Real Life Mommy @reallifemommy3
33K Followers 3K Following Twitter is cheaper than therapy. Tweets are mine 👀@huffpost @TODAY_Parents @buzzfeed @babycenter @chicagotribune @boredpanda @thepoke @thechive ...Saint Vivica, Patron .. @QueenVofCoffee
18K Followers 2K Following DM Room cheerleader & typo goddess. 56% funny. TH: @Conchvegas1 . Avi by ToonMe. Header: @dimplesticks. https://t.co/dRgjRopfud@itssherifield @itssherifield
13K Followers 1K Following Musician mama of 3 treading water and taking names Formerly @Lmemeit IG and TikTok: @itssherifield https://t.co/PEkz5e5DfKKiss my Fat Ash🍑 @Tobi_Is_Fab
43K Followers 4K Following Sometimes on @BuzzFeed @HuffPostParents @Cheezburger @boredpanda @ThePoke @theCHIVE @TODAYshow @Upworthy❤️ Jeff Goldblum & Oxford commas. Avi by @popartcartoonzHelleanor Rigby @Mom_Overboard
56K Followers 3K Following 🥪 take these broken wings and learn to fly 🏔DamnFineTweet @damnfinetweet
13K Followers 3K Following RIP DamnFineTweet 8/7/2019-4/27/2023 thank you for 85000 trophies and a million good vibes. I'll miss you!MIT Jews for Ceasefir.. @mitj4c
737 Followers 51 Following 𝗠𝗜𝗧 𝗝𝗲𝘄𝘀 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗖𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲𝗳𝗶𝗿𝗲 We're Jewish MIT students/staff/faculty/alumni in solidarity with Palestine. We say ceasefire NOW, end the occupation!linc @lincnotfound
17K Followers 398 Following just a dude with a photoshop subscription and adderall addictionshe is, instead, aliv.. @thewordunheard
2K Followers 2K Following Arielle. A veritable app sampler of virtues. Opinions are my own. she/herRoyotathon 🚘 @Royotathon
12K Followers 869 Following idiot. one time documentary subject. Métis. he/him https://t.co/wJiiuU7cAzTangler @NDen42
2K Followers 3K Following Sarcastic & irreverent. Reader. Always looking to learn fuck outta here with your red hatKacy Sager @THESagerbomb
26K Followers 3K Following Writer/Editor/Renaissance woman, pro/HS sports media/marketing. Love child of Ron Swanson & Mary Poppins. If you love something, you should be a nerd about it.Flinnie @flinnie
15K Followers 2K Following I'm a delight©. @mountains_anna named a duck after me. Aunt to a wonderful nephew. Socially unaware and whack. Veni, vidi, cecidit de sella meRAE @RaeLeeShel
50 Followers 134 Following Just a girl, skirting the spectrum. A boy mom. Early childhood special education. Multi level elementary teacher.Harris @GrandpaHarris65
10K Followers 10K Following husband | father | grandpa | democrat | humor | sarcasm | grumpy old man | gardening | memories | music | stupid stuff | you dm, i blockInsert a witty name h.. @Thehotstoner
5K Followers 3K Following Just like weed, I make everything better. Doll, Baby Girl,Sweetheart,Goddess 💍 Stay out of my DM's with your pee pees 1117BStylin @chicketypoo22
3K Followers 2K Following Marketing analyst. Single momma of a toddler 👶❤ Polyam, 1 rescue dog (RIP tete and fiona😭) 🏳️🌈♋☀️ ♌🌜♏⬆️ 🎮🌳Strzyga @Strzyaga
1K Followers 1K Following Mother. Nerd. Animal lover and theropod enthusiast. ER/ICU nurseGriffin AKA Mr. Hundr.. @215griff
137 Followers 157 Following self deprecating yet vaginally confidentHollie Harris @allholls
501 Followers 173 Following Writer. Mom. Storyteller. #GenXer. And apparently the person in charge of what's for dinner until the end of time.ella (tiktok: @blonde.. @blondehotcoffee
2K Followers 2K Following i only tweet when i’m high or manicJP TheRealSingingDad @JP_TheRealDad
517 Followers 870 Following Super Dad. Collector of hurt feelings. I play, I sing, I cook, I laugh, I cry, I live life to the fullest..but I really love to sing. DM's open #Fuckcancerno, different Mike @localareamike
470 Followers 2K Following Dad (FT) ▪ Government Hack (FT) ▪ Super-hilarious (PT) ▪ Nobody here can dance like meJohnny Johnson @jej_jr
99 Followers 506 FollowingMoBiWan @MobiWanYT
656 Followers 513 Following That dude from TikTok // Art // Movies // Commentary // Comedy // Unofficially @aflgirl126 is my TC𝕆𝕟𝕖 𝕋𝕠.. @wolfsingleton
362 Followers 338 Following There's gonna be lots of wordplay and foreplay involved. Strap in fucker.Joe Pontillo @JoePontillo
3K Followers 751 Following Comedian/influencer. Bio in the bio! Two comedy specials. YouTube show. Becoming more powerful by the second.Guy Incognito (itiner.. @ShutUpThatsWho
6K Followers 3K Following love me for who I am... but... you know, anonymously - avi is from @fro_vo, header is from @FrogAvalanchetacomoose @TXtacomoose
347 Followers 686 Following peddler of sarcasm, lover of tacos and large furry woodland creatures, let’s poke fun at political polarization. I have fat thumbspetfinder names @petfindernames
377K Followers 9 Following animals with unconventional names / created by @420insidejob & co-managed by @nicolejusttweet / DM submissions. / Business Inquiries: [email protected]''CrazyHorse'' Chris .. @CrazyHorseCB
1K Followers 2K Following Video games, football, wrestling. Father, Lvl 34. #ForTheShoe forever. #RoboticGang Back after a long time. Never forget, you're awesome.Jesse @jverona77
16K Followers 14K Following dad of 2. blue voter, always….also @jverona77 on BlueSky but never there - Occasionally funny.dADDisms @Beagz
16K Followers 8K Following Finding humor in marriage, fatherhood, ADD, adoption and autism. TikTok @realbeagswhalefact @awhalefact
193K Followers 392 Following whale fact for you. Black Lives Matter. contact:[email protected] | 160K on insta. twitch:https://t.co/nkg9i6Bn21 | merch:https://t.co/JkeeVQnEeiChronicIllnessHumor @HumorChronic
989 Followers 3K Following Chronic Illnesses + Autoimmune Disorders R no laughing matter but my humorous posts will make U feel better for a while. #chronicillness #autoimmune #funnyFunny Snarky Humor @FUNNYsnarkyJOKE
9K Followers 2K Following I like 2 make light of things 2 brighten up a dark world. #funny #humor #satire #snarky #memes #humour #hilariousMaybe Chris Hemsworth @MaybeNotChrisH
2K Followers 1K Following Hi, I am possibly Chris Hemsworth, a famous, jacked movie star who enjoys parody and who women fawn over. Captain of my own ship.SeaShell @DianeP89
26K Followers 12K Following Back home 🇨🇦 after living on the other side of the oceanThe Boston Globe @BostonGlobe
797K Followers 972 Following New England's leading source for breaking news and analysis.dianarama @dirtybirdie_
2K Followers 3K Following I enjoy really smart folks with really dumb jokes. In like 4 gangs. Funk Soldier. Cat lady. #IStillOwnStupidHashtags. Ex-Seattleite. Blocked by Rudy Giuliani.Geraint @geraintgriffith
10K Followers 2K Following We were just on the edge of Barstow when we decided that glamourising drug use was reckless and irresponsibleSuccessfully Chaotic @SuccessfullyCh1
17K Followers 18K Following Wife. Mama to 7 kids. Biz owner. Accidental Podcaster. Speaker. Sarcastic hot mess who is just trying to get through the dayMo🤦🏻♂️�.. @Mo_Ajudgemind
3K Followers 2K Following Prosecutor mind 🏛. My real curse is that I notice everything.Maxaminion @maxaminion
1K Followers 1K Following Recovering Accountant. Bard with an addiction for adventure, whiskey, women and gambling. Ordained minister.leisha @leisha1196
2K Followers 961 FollowingSourdeath Sam @SourdeathSam
6K Followers 4K Following Hate to see it. Host of 49ers Public Access (Weds at 7PST on YouTube).åπd®ew 🐢🐢�.. @Andrew__Boley
2K Followers 1K Following Film/TV editor • Stan of The Mentaculus • Can Rent Cars • KFBR392 • Jokićian •12:30 Flight @WillfulChild_xo
1K Followers 1K FollowingSometimes Ya Gotta Be.. @FSchadenfreude
1K Followers 2K Following Pronounced like Wii. 🎮 I laugh at a lot of things I probably shouldn't.I logged 104 exercise minutes today and then ate candy for supper, because life is about balance.
I've loved pizza more than I've loved most men.
My husband accepted an invite to a bbq for us and said we would bring a salad, like “we” has anything to do with it.
i think beyonce might get her fashion inspiration from dolly parton: thread
Sure Earth gets a whole month to celebrate it but Pluto doesn’t get to be a planet anymore
This man is beat and exhausted. But happy? I think at least. It has been a while, trying to remember the emotion.
People often ask if my tweets are true stories, so here’s a rule of thumb: if it’s about me being a slut in high school, it’s true. If it’s about me being a slut now, I’m lying, it actually happened in high school.
thinking about the time I posted a video of me singing and some guy was like "ooh I really like the way you changed the key" and I'm over here like oh yeah that was totally on purpose and not me being utterly incapable of holding a tune
Four documents, 13 review questions, one quiz, and two finals are all that stand between me and a second degree. Hoping to have most of that knocked out today. Heaven is for closers.
Missionary is only for attractive people. Doggy is for not having to look at the face.
@PeterSt69301444 Yeah too late, too bad Would you rather have been in time or had a million dollars? I’m asking the real questions now
if kanye goes missing it was probably gotye.
@JMoneySlimer Hi! Would you rather have a jar of teeth or a chandelier made of beef jerky sticks
@ChicksRule Shhh don’t tell anyone else lol Would you rather be awesome at breakdancing or beatboxing? Not both, one or the other