LostinTranslation @kidnappedagain
Still trying to figure it out... https://t.co/WIfJETwI7T The Corner of Why and Why Not Joined January 2021-
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LostinTranslation retweeted
Sure you may think you're a cool dad but wait until you find yourself in the middle of Sephora wondering if you just pronounced "squalane" correctly
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LostinTranslation retweeted
I'm now leaving my "why do I continue to live here" era (every Nov to April)
LostinTranslation retweeted
Live simply. But don’t forget to live.
LostinTranslation retweeted
Grateful for the stuff that went right.
LostinTranslation retweeted
I would walk 500 miles which is 804.62 kilometers in your shoes but you were wearing Crocs.
Slept in my Dave Matthews t-shirt and woke up on Grey Street.
LostinTranslation retweeted
Forever search for the silver-linings.
LostinTranslation retweeted
He approached the barren Dollar Store. It's darkened entrance once so robust with auspicious messages of "bargin bin deals" now a moribund vestige of its erstwhile resplendence. A languid Austin Powers mask hangs sadly in the window. Echoes of "Yeah baby" dance on by in the wind.
LostinTranslation retweeted
From now on the white heart emoji means you love Mr. Clean
LostinTranslation retweeted
Why don't we Ever say the things That need to be said
Anger is the protection against the sadness she refuses to feel.
LostinTranslation retweeted
*Puts arm band, white tank top, and fake moustache on cat* There ya go, Freddie Purr-cury.
LostinTranslation retweeted
I can't hear the name Seymour without picturing a plant asking to be fed
LostinTranslation retweeted
caring about and caring for are two totally different things
LostinTranslation retweeted
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Sure you may think you're a cool dad but wait until you find yourself in the middle of Sephora wondering if you just pronounced "squalane" correctly
I'm now leaving my "why do I continue to live here" era (every Nov to April)
My new fucking fancy fridge and a pic for fucking posterity, for alas, this is in fact the last fucking time it will be clean
When I first glanced at this it looked like you said you slept with him🤠I thought you go💯🤠
Slept in my NIN shirt and woke up closer to god.
My couch and I got engaged last night. It was really romantic.
G’morning to all you sexy bastards in my phone. Hope y’all have a great day! 😘
Me: You should give a little wave after someone lets you over. Teen driving daughter: Why? I had my signal on, they should let me in. Me: That’s not the way this world works.
Slept in my Queen t-shirt and woke up a fat bottomed girl 🍑
Slept in my Rolling Stones T-shirt, and woke up and I can’t get no satisfaction. 😬
Slept in my Eric Carmen t-shirt and woke up all by myself.
Slept in my Queen t-shirt and woke up a fat bottomed girl 🍑
Smitten. Absolutely smitten. Good night 😘 🥰
Slept in my Rick Springfield shirt and woke up with Jessi’s girl.
If my fingers don’t motion like scissors snipping when I ask for a haircut at the salon, how will they know what I mean
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