luke warm tweets @lukejarret
Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life if the thing you love is night shifts. ////////// link to my top tweets👇 twitter.com/search?q=from%… Los Angeles, CA Joined February 2009-
Tweets4K
-
Followers3K
-
Following806
-
Likes27K
sorry to hear this 🙏 big fan of the band he started with your sons
sorry to hear this 🙏 big fan of the band he started with your sons
trey wake up you dozin’ again brah
trey wake up you dozin’ again brah
I have the paper towel habit of a much richer man.
hey sorry wasn’t recording can we take that again
hey sorry wasn’t recording can we take that again
her: i’ll have the salad, no nuts, please waiter: of course me: it didn’t say it had nuts her: i’m allergic, so I tell them to be safe me: that makes sense waiter: and for you? me: steak, no bees, please
My issue with Jeopardy is that you never get the sense that the contestants are in any real danger
professor x: whats your superpower ostrich: i lay big egg professor x [telepathically to x-men]: i can save us money on breakfast ostrich [telepathically]: egg no for sale
Me, after playing Hot Cross Buns on the recorder: Honestly I didn't write that, it was a cover. I'm working on some originals though.
when i’m stressed out it really helps to hold all the world’s bad news six inches from my face til 2am
Me kicking an ice cube under the fridge: 🫤 The tiny people under the fridge that live off of them: God has blessed us once more! The famine is over! Man holding his dying child: Please, my son needs first call! Snarling merchant: Your family’s had their time on the cube!
me: i’m already super self-conscious about my eating habits wife: i said health conscious
you only ever hear about krill in the context of being eaten by whales but like who are they really? what are their hobbies?
sorry not a big fan what other vegetables do you have on the cob
eagle: what’s with the hat bald eagle: nothing can we just go
me: *confidently pushing open saloon doors* i’ll have a shampoo and a trim
wife: i never should’ve let you name our son me: i told you i wanted a cat instead son: that hurts dad me: skittles this doesn’t concern you
ken allen’s got me beat he has apparent goals
ken allen’s got me beat he has apparent goals
My parents’ generation had cute little paper address books but our generation has a different system of just asking where people live every single time we visit or send something
Last night I was lying in my 3yos bed as he was falling asleep and he reached out to me in the dark, put his hand on me and said “ahhhh, big belly, tiny head, that’s my mama”
man: bees: oh uh heyyy
Adam @adamgreattweet
63K Followers 3K Following Resident physician as seen on Buzzfeed and TV, RTd by Barack Obama. He/Him
.:RiotGrlErin:. @RiotGrlErin
55K Followers 3K Following • goth daria vibes • fear does not exist in this bio • muppet enthusiast • reba/dolly 2024 • subscribe •
Lil Bit 🌈 @LizerReal
59K Followers 983 Following Wife of a guy. Mother to spawns. Sugar glider in my bra. Parenting cautionary tale. (she/her)
NurseBrianRN @rn_murse
19K Followers 826 Following Singer-Songscreamer I Gay Homosexual I Pubic Figure | Fourth Thing
Village Person @SvnSxty
31K Followers 4K Following If you support ethnic cleansing, kindly fuck off 😊 Find me and follow me @SvnSxty on all platforms. my tweets ⤵️
He Called Me Greenhor.. @WhatsAGreenhorn
9K Followers 3K Following He called me Greenhorn. I called him Tony Randall. It was a thing we had.
meghan @deloisivete
20K Followers 3K Following mother of boys | surrounded by a chaos of my own making | tweets in link below
Tracie Breaux @traciebreaux
31K Followers 4K Following Book writer. Dog petter. Mental Health/Child Abuse Awareness Advocate. https://t.co/r0jtKGqvbl
ADHDean @ADHDeanASL
23K Followers 5K Following BLACK LIVES MATTER. Husband, dad, friend. Ally. ASL Interpreter. Doofus. Midvale School for the Gifted alum. Mastodon: [email protected]
DamnFineTweet @damnfinetweet
13K Followers 3K Following RIP DamnFineTweet 8/7/2019-4/27/2023 thank you for 85000 trophies and a million good vibes. I'll miss you!
Helleanor Rigby @Mom_Overboard
56K Followers 3K Following 🥪 take these broken wings and learn to fly 🏔
nice things I say to .. @meantomyself
28K Followers 8K Following Hopeful idiot | your big suburban | Log Lady | X's hottest mom™️ | tired founder. Not funny or young enough to write tweets for Clorox. avi @popartcartoonz
cap’n watsisname @capnwatsisname
11K Followers 2K Following slowly backing away. TOP TWEETS: https://t.co/K8oKqyuL84 click below for recent. I’m the same guy at the other places.
Stone @StoneAgeRadio13
9K Followers 2K Following Big smartass, small pond. Based on true events and other bullshit I made up. https://t.co/zWj3lHItCn
CynicalTherapist @CynicalTherapi1
15K Followers 8K Following LMFT-LADAC Addictions Expert, Not your therapist, both traumatized and trauma informed. Sometimes a writer https://t.co/Y7o1NsmtJh Bad words ftw. 🏳️🌈
Daveastated @Daveastated
7K Followers 1K Following Now I am become Dave, the destroyer of words. *Inventor of the flinglong* I only sleep to give my phone a break
Doc Johnny Fever🎙 @NikiMarinis
6K Followers 2K Following Weird Girl🔮Co-host of @LyricalCrimes podcast 🎤 Writer of dating & relationship comedy gold 💋📝 “You’re a Gen-X wet dream” - @MickeyBlowtorch
waterbuffalo @fastasawaterbuf
0 Followers 856 Following We hear what we want to hear, and disregard the rest.
auteasm | check highl.. @auteasm
565 Followers 700 Following badtameez.. self-fulfilling prophecy. she/her/they(🤷♀️?). More media, less tweets. nostalgiawhoring. #IPL🫰CHECK HIGHLIGHTS‼️ 👁️⃤ 🪼🌊🍛🧚♂️
Gina Ruiz @GinaRuiz724131
7 Followers 166 Following 🍯Dulce como la miel pero picante como la abeja 🐝 🌴 Amante de la aventura y la naturaleza 🌴
Alex @alexcrow225
430 Followers 4K Following chaotic dumbass. most of my tweets are jokes. #luigiformortalkombat
Layla Starlight @LaylaStarl87000
8 Followers 1K Following
Felicita @huneycutt56feli
146 Followers 3K Following
Raquaez @raquaez17539
7 Followers 211 Following Gods determine what you're going to be。 https://t.co/ramleZjnWE
Schmrrrrrlex @alexlumaga
6K Followers 1K Following Mouldering lump of organic matter trapped in a bizarre social and technological matrix. Recent tweets: https://t.co/sDiQmQSsjj
Jim Thomasse @pokkehoofd
148 Followers 3K Following
LaToya Washington, M... @L_D_Washington
6K Followers 5K Following Louisiana girl in TX | Mom of 3 | HS Science Teacher | 🧘🏾 CYT-200 | @LSU and @LamarUniversity alumna | 23-24 North Shore Senior High Teacher of the Year 🐎 |
cold orb @cold_orb
1 Followers 1K Following
Ech0 @Mlech0
17 Followers 383 Following
Fru Fru Brigade After.. @Nezumi_Youjo
1K Followers 5K Following We're The Fru-Fru Brigade, a system of multiple origins and diverse nature! 18+ only. (37 years old) Autistic, ADHD. AV: @Piklesuke https://t.co/jWaLbpt9jp
Truth Seeker ~ Time T.. @DRSharonRStone
2K Followers 5K Following Depth Psychologist Ardhanarishvara~LionofJudah~Issa~Maitreya~Arthur GnostcChrist-Melchizedk~Abd Allah~Teshub Professor Psycholgy/Theology/Metaphysics #LGBT #BLM
Angel Montoya @AngelMonto46203
91 Followers 3K Following
Vigilance @vigilance_nyoni
227 Followers 3K Following
NYISA @NYISAwards
6K Followers 6K Following New York Int'l Screenplay Awards | Submit via Coverfly or Filmfreeway ➡️https://t.co/JbvAE9alWj - Advanced Screenwriting Workshops! [email protected]
Carls Russ @BeatrixFormat
267 Followers 3K Following
claudia @ClaudiaKlordia
193 Followers 532 Following mostly reading, working & crying 💀 🖤 cats are life 🐈⬛
Seth Larsen @sethlarsen
55 Followers 65 Following
lydia @lydialee0910
13 Followers 86 Following
Will Paris @Bat_Boy_Will
315 Followers 2K Following
faerie skeleton 📨 @bornabug
55 Followers 2K Following extremely vulnerable female animal emo girl psychic angel vaccine type bug addict braindead rabbit girl prey-coded ☆ in my 2nd instar
JodingersCat-astrophe @JMoneySlimer
2K Followers 2K Following If you think I post a lot of crap, you should see what I delete: Ghost account for @JodingersCat
n8nam4 @n8nam4
3 Followers 748 Following
Tim Plamondon @Irrelevant_Soup
44 Followers 430 Following
Dylan @Dilwins31
19 Followers 17 Following
Kimberly Acquaviva �.. @kimacquaviva
12K Followers 7K Following Preppy, nerdy, queer @UVA professor striving to make healthcare LGBTQIA+ inclusive. Quaker. Views are my own & don't represent my employer AT ALL.
Liz Renton @lizrtn
693 Followers 4K Following IT Business Analyst | Scrum Master. Coffee addict & staff to a demanding cat & a busy little boy. She/her. Views are my own.
DanChickHolla @DanielCicala
3K Followers 653 Following a joke a day keeps the impending sense of doom at bay
eric extra dry @ericinellenwood
552 Followers 664 Following Squandering far too much of my precious time by following mostly dirty minded yet good hearted people on twitter.![[insert clever bio here]](https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/1740320377430323200/raA3YaH4.jpg)
Other Nixon @NotThatNixon
3K Followers 2K Following writer, thinker, and occasional speaker of words.
Delia Gallagher @deliagall
217 Followers 1K Following
jon drake @DrakeGatsby
112K Followers 2K Following they must have amnesia, they forgot that im him. 1/2 of @blastzonepod. senior brand strategist for @trymetafy
Adam @adamgreattweet
63K Followers 3K Following Resident physician as seen on Buzzfeed and TV, RTd by Barack Obama. He/Him
.:RiotGrlErin:. @RiotGrlErin
55K Followers 3K Following • goth daria vibes • fear does not exist in this bio • muppet enthusiast • reba/dolly 2024 • subscribe •
SneezingWithWetMascar.. @WetMascara
20K Followers 2K Following Yes, THAT Thanksgiving tweet. My Faves: https://t.co/90HdOEinlH Recent Tweets in Link Below.
Lil Bit 🌈 @LizerReal
59K Followers 983 Following Wife of a guy. Mother to spawns. Sugar glider in my bra. Parenting cautionary tale. (she/her)
NurseBrianRN @rn_murse
19K Followers 826 Following Singer-Songscreamer I Gay Homosexual I Pubic Figure | Fourth Thing
Village Person @SvnSxty
31K Followers 4K Following If you support ethnic cleansing, kindly fuck off 😊 Find me and follow me @SvnSxty on all platforms. my tweets ⤵️
Roxi Horror 💀🌸 @roxiqt
65K Followers 1K Following Extremely online internet gremlin & comedy content creator 🥄💜 @roxiqt on Bluesky & TikTok 🦝 https://t.co/JbrOVGHJgp ✨
meghan @deloisivete
20K Followers 3K Following mother of boys | surrounded by a chaos of my own making | tweets in link below
Tracie Breaux @traciebreaux
31K Followers 4K Following Book writer. Dog petter. Mental Health/Child Abuse Awareness Advocate. https://t.co/r0jtKGqvbl
Dadman Walking @dadmann_walking
56K Followers 1K Following introvert. Husband. Dad of 3. bourbon fund: Venmo- Shane83 My links! https://t.co/X1R5q5AVST seen in @Buzzfeed @Menshumor @HuffPostParents @cheezbur
ADHDean @ADHDeanASL
23K Followers 5K Following BLACK LIVES MATTER. Husband, dad, friend. Ally. ASL Interpreter. Doofus. Midvale School for the Gifted alum. Mastodon: [email protected]
DamnFineTweet @damnfinetweet
13K Followers 3K Following RIP DamnFineTweet 8/7/2019-4/27/2023 thank you for 85000 trophies and a million good vibes. I'll miss you!
FRO VO @fro_vo
42K Followers 1K Following 🦋 @frovo.bsky.social - - TOP TWEETS: https://t.co/NZPHrTUDjC -- Recent Tweets: https://t.co/4WK3dR41F1 -- STORE: https://t.co/YaxNssq5DC
Helleanor Rigby @Mom_Overboard
56K Followers 3K Following 🥪 take these broken wings and learn to fly 🏔
fredesque @FredTaming
27K Followers 890 Following black & trans lives matter | stop asian hate | 🏳️🌈 🏳️⚧️ friendly | he/him | fka taming fr*d s*vage |
President Warren G. H.. @PopeAwesomeXIII
13K Followers 2K Following Commercially Inviable. ✌️ 29th US President (1921-1923) 🧐 Tip jar! https://t.co/Igf16XkzWv ❤ He/Him 👍 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️🏴☠️ ❤️ See pinned for migration info
Franklin Leonard @franklinleonard
178K Followers 10K Following @theblcklst founder. Film & TV producer. Politics & football (soccer) person. @vanityfair contrib editor. @am_cinematheque & @weare_thegotham board member.
Chase Mitchell @ChaseMit
91K Followers 3K Following Writer for hire, formerly of @insidejob, @FallonTonight, and one time for an aftershow about sharks
Schmrrrrrlex @alexlumaga
6K Followers 1K Following Mouldering lump of organic matter trapped in a bizarre social and technological matrix. Recent tweets: https://t.co/sDiQmQSsjj
limp brittzkit @Brittymigs
19K Followers 2K Following she/her. just a little snail girl trying to get by. @meatcats @reductress @cracked mgmt: [email protected]
Astral Spitfire🏳�.. @AstralSpitfire
75 Followers 208 Following She/Her | Catgirl | notable non-summoron | Full of town™️ | Expensive Thinker
Vinny Thomas @vinn_ayy
205K Followers 1K Following ancient reptile. stern but fair. | Omar on Platonic | Apple TV+
Luke ☀️ @RaDadtouille
2K Followers 2K Following ‘96 Field Day hula hoop champ 🥇 | SAHD to 3 girls and going to grad school | I stub my toe ALOT | send bourbon, gummies, & cheezits | TCK | 🏔☀️🌲🌳🏔
(((Princess of Whales.. @PrincesaBallena
8K Followers 4K Following Disloyal Jew, Positive FickDichEinstellung, Inescapable Snarl @WolfGangOfFour’s emotional support bitch
mom mom mom mom mom @notmythirdrodeo
27K Followers 3K Following https://t.co/lKTwNPcAGY @momsoverhere on IG. Mommin’ the best I can with low standards. Featured in @HuffPost, @Buzzfeed, @Today_Parents and more.
Jason Not Evil @JasonNotEvil
17K Followers 4K Following Screenwriter and fart joke enthusiast Popular tweets: https://t.co/cVlfPJFRBK
eLeni @eleniZarro
17K Followers 2K Following Be funny, be kind, but ffs stop saying literally. My best hits: https://t.co/aXLLBNuMx3 🐎 💜
😺Cat😺 @CatHunterESPN
7K Followers 1K Following Mom// ESPN Director // Pro Choice // tweets are my own // TikTok: catherinehunterespn // IG: pepperpottsgsd
Hollylist @HollylistJobs
4K Followers 268 Following The premier job search resource for jobs and internships in the entertainment industry.
Mat Johnson @mat_johnson
77K Followers 2K Following I write things—you don't worry about me, you worry about you. WGA West & AAUP/AFT Strong
A SLICE OF HISTORY @asIiceofhistory
343K Followers 10K Following The more you learn the more you realize how little you know🌻
ThisOneSays @ThisOneSayz
19K Followers 5K Following Winging this life. Check back for no helpful tips whatsoever. https://t.co/8mX27QK6yN
PUNS @ThePunnyWorld
658K Followers 5 Following Follow for the most hilarious puns and dad jokes! Not affiliated with any of my tweets.
The Lizard Queen 🦎.. @LexoLuthoro
2K Followers 853 Following ONE HALF OF THE WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS W/ @MilfordBrimlee Future Space Lizard 🖕FUCK NAZIS🖕 🖕FUCK TERFS🖕 Married to @shadyshyguy1 🔞 #SFGiants
Swan ☆ ☽ ♡ @onyxpaperswan
4K Followers 1K Following ✨Swan☆37☆I’m emotional☆I care very much about humanity☆In my free time I like to eat my silly little gummies,play cozy games,& read smut…I mean books☆21+Content
evianescence @callmeEvian
5K Followers 2K Following
Eric Schmeric @HepatitisAtoZ
3K Followers 964 Following Don't Follow Me Here....Follow Me In Real Life and Make My Paranoia A Reality|https://t.co/DmIlfKVXcL
milk🔻 @TheSuperiorPink
2K Followers 832 Following he’s got a big head, a snipers dream they call him
Adventures In Babyshi.. @KMoFlo_official
4K Followers 2K Following
X 🇨🇦 @FFmaxhyde
9K Followers 7K Following Hoser in the sorta south. All the vices, unconventional, inconvenient fucking shitshow
Kate again @Kateness8
10K Followers 2K Following I’m doing amazing, sweetie • she/her • as seen on buzzfeed that one time • Reese’s goblin• wishlist: https://t.co/mY0eO30PnD
Mom On The Rocks @mom_ontherocks
33K Followers 8K Following Professional Barbie stylist. Nurse. ⭐️ https://t.co/7UFXcPscI5 ⭐️ https://t.co/jR0bU9EfIc My Tweets ⬇️
dick snickers @smithsara79
42K Followers 831 Following My name isn’t really sara; I just don't want my students googling me & finding out I say fuck. (any pronouns, just don’t be an asshole)
Aunt Chelle ☕️�.. @ravenswng_
2K Followers 957 Following Disc golf flinger, bird peeper, geocacher, wife, friend, accomplished crop duster. Bacon is life.
Chaddington @Invisichad
3K Followers 3K Following Cute things artist 😀 Got a Patreon with @Trisarahjtops! A little snail trying to get by in a big world. I always try to alt-text. Venmo: (@)Chad-White-125
Christopher Ashman @CAshmanActor
12K Followers 774 Following Actor | Writer | BUY MY FANTASY NOVEL FOR LIKE $3 - link below
Lottie-pop 🍭 @Lottie_Poppie
28K Followers 3K Following Tattooed mum & coffee enthusiast. Living life from one snack to the next.
Hunter the Bounty Dog @huntergraybeal
3K Followers 3K Following Mostly kidding. I teach theatre, speech, and improv. Yes, and improv.
So is she gonna be "Zendaya Holland" or is he going to become "Tom"
Tom Holland and Zendaya are reportedly planning marriage. (Via: people.com/zendaya-tom-ho…)
This is maybe the simplest yet best screenwriting advice I’ve seen posted on this site.
This is one of my favorite bits of screenwriting advice. After hearing this, a lot of the negative feedback that I got on earlier drafts started to make sense.
this scene from Barry nailed it
David Cross Says His Paramount+ Series With Bob Odenkirk Was Dropped Because 'Marketing and Analytics' Rejected It: 'They Have All the F---ing Power' variety.com/2024/tv/news/d…
My 91yo grandma just told me that she got a scam call from someone pretending to be me and needing money and at the end they said a cheque would be fine and she said “And who should I make it out to, since you’re obviously not Aaron” and they hung up on her. What a legend.
Feels like it would have been the perfect Friday night to go to Blockbuster
Safe to say this video isn’t illegal anymore because how has it been 5 years since @Avengers Endgame was released?! Crazy looking back at that time with some of the greatest cast and crew makes me so thankful to be part of the Avengers universe!
Best interview I've ever seen! 😂
Sad to report that if you just get up and start doing things, they get done. There should be a better way though.
Eilish Car Bomb
oh emos you will pay for this one
ross: i’m getting divorced again rachel and chandler subplot:
Carlos Sainz just wanting to sing smooth operator
Me at McDonald’s, age 4
The Nuggets are just on another level.
fuck off i pay for my annual pass
Idiot award goes to my husband who has spent these past rainy months doggedly training for a marathon on Sunday... only to find this week that he never actually registered for it.
forgive me if this is a bit of a boomer take but if you have a restaurant and you have a website for that restaurant i think that the menu for the restaurant should be on the website
Trends for United States
You might like
